Royally Screwed: British Monarchy Revealed Read online

  An article appeared in ‘The Daily Telegraph’, as recently as 2010, saying that the controversy was far from over, that the case was certainly not open and shut and if he were to take their advice, which of course he won’t, they suggest he not try to brazen it out, the public will not be open to it and they wouldn’t take the risk.

  He won’t listen to anyone, he never does. He will attempt to fly in the face of public opinion and the law. Their moral behaviour should be enough for the crown to elude them, but if the public no longer has a taste for morality, hopefully, they will demand to see a law that has been kept from them because its not in their best interest. Hhmmmmm.

  Morality is not the hip happening word that it once was, and let’s face it in the 21st Century people would much more prefer to be called ‘cool’, ‘hip’, ‘sexy’, ‘fierce’ than be called moral.

  We chip, chip, chip away at moral standards and eventually what are we left with??

  Someone with the moral standards of a worm, whose only interest is, self, me and how does it help me?

  Monarchy should always have been a leading light of morality. A leader, although not spiritual, but living a life style one can look at as an example. Historically, Monarchy has sadly fallen short and led the way by murdering, bullying, intimidating and whoring its way through the centuries.

  There have been a few good examples of humanitarianism and altruism but these have been few and far between, and Royalty has been better known for tyranny and violence.

  But in this celebrity obsessed, media driven world, this may be a great opportunity for Monarchy to step up to the plate and show a media hungry public that they are living in a modern world with a moral code.

  All the spin and public manipulation in the world could never save Chuckie and Millie from an informed public, but the forthcoming nuptials on April 29th, 2011, and its participants look extremely promising. Fingers crossed!

  A Case for Continuing...

  Throughout this book, we have looked at the many reasons why Monarchy made us miserable, why so many rulers were just ‘rotten’, and why selfish, hedonistic greedy behavior on the part of some Monarchs almost destroyed the Monarchy completely.

  But there are reasons why the British Monarchy managed to survive when so many others have perished along the centuries. If you think it ‘just happened’ then you would be wrong.

  Ever since the time of King John, the GBP or the peasants as they were known at the time, with the help of the Barons and the landed gentry asserted their will and forced this particular Tyrant to sign a document, called the Magna Carta. This charter created a law which was ABOVE the King. This document is the most important historical document in the history of democracy and became the foundation of the American Bill Of Rights. It talks about the individual’s right to pursue ‘Life, Liberty and Property’.

  King John signed the charter is 1215 and then reneged on it. He was a real creep. It was ratified and finally signed in 1257 by Edward 1st.

  So since the 13th Century, the GBP has asserted its will on the Monarchy.

  And in many ways the British Monarchy has responded. Without the King, the King James 1st Bible would never have been written. It took almost a century to write, was one of the first books to be printed, and is now believed to be the archetype publication of the Anglican Church. It was a bible written in English and not Latin and it became accessible to the masses, read from pulpits by clergymen to people who were unable to read. It is still in print today and available on line. Would this book have been written without King James? Unlikely.

  Elizabeth 1st was a benefactor to a great deal of British art and literature, many of which are still considered some of the world’s greatest playwrights. One is none other than William Shakespeare, without her would he have languished in anonymity??

  Charles II helped rebuild the city of London after its great fire. He granted a Royal warrant to a man who became known as Britain’s greatest architect, Christopher Wren. He designed 51 churches in the City Of London, one of which was the famous St. Paul’s Cathedral. Many of those buildings are unchanged and still standing today. No King, no building? No St. Paul’s Cathedral?

  Some Monarchs used their power, influence and education to elevate the life of England and its people.

  Unlike the French and Russian Royal families, the British Monarchy connected with their subjects while the hedonistic French and the Russians remained aloof and uninvolved with their people. They were hated by their peasants. Which is maybe why neither families endured after their revolutions and the British Monarchy did survive its own revolution and is still very much here, while the French and Russian Monarchies disappeared after their revolutions, the German and Japanese Royal families fared no better. The German monarchy didn’t survive after the First World War and the Japanese Monarchy disappeared after the second.

  The British Monarchy was probably strengthened in the hearts and minds of the British people after the Second World War as they had been very much involved in the war and part of the fight.

  Queen Elizabeth II has so much respect around the world, for her dignity and longevity. She has always been a great ambassador for the country of England.

  So maybe she doesn’t do stand-up. Sing or tap dance, she can still draw a crowd and bring beaming smiles to many faces, even if they don’t get to actually meet her and she doesn’t even ‘do’ anything, except show up!

  It is a bizarre phenomenon, unlike an elected official she doesn’t need your votes but she does need you to believe in her as she stands for decency and truth, and for everything essentially English.

  It’s an ideal that maybe long gone, or is it something that we need now even more than ever?

  Should that be true, just flick back over the pages of this book just to remind yourself what we DON’T need!

  Epilogue

  If British Monarchy isn’t the oldest, grandest and most powerful Monarchy in the world, then it’s right up there.

  The Queen and Prince Philip on her Coronation in 1953

  The Queen and Prince Philip today

  There are sixty Royal families in existence today, from the tiny country of Lichtenstein to the ever expanding United Arab Emirates. The small country of the Netherlands has the wealthiest Queen in the world and the Kings of Tonga, Fiji and Samoa, probably wouldn’t make the Fortune 500.

  The British Royal Family has endured for one thousand years, if they are not THE oldest, well, really, who cares because they certainly have the highest profile of any Monarchy in the world. They are EVERYWHERE!

  (HRH) Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II is the Queen of the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland. She is also the Queen and Defender of the Faith in Canada, New Zealand, Australia, The Bahamas, Bermuda, Barbados, Grenada, Papua New Guinea, Solomon Islands, Tuvalu, St. Lucia, St. Vincent and the Grenadines, Belize, Antigua and Barbuda and last but not least St. Christopher and Nevis... And if that is not enough she is recognised Queen and defender of the faith in 40 republics around the world. I won’t list them all. You will fall asleep.

  Other Monarchies don’t come close to the global expanse of HRH. No other Monarch has the amount of territories she has accumulated. No wonder she’s never home! Over the last fifty years, she has trotted around the world waving and shaking hundreds of thousands of hands. This woman is almost as expansive as the internet and just as well known.

  It does my head in to think that the ‘ex’ Mrs Parker Bowles thinks she will replace her! A woman whose only claim to the throne was that she was willing to commit adultery for eleven years. I’m sure that the world will be lining up in eagerness to shake her hand and ask her just how she did it, something to remember for the children.

  Greater minds than mine once wrote that the foundation of freedom and democracy were founded on the pillars of morality and religion.

  We have discussed that lack of morality and religion at length, and sadly it is not the real culprit for the insanity we find ourselves in.
The real culprit is APATHY.

  In the multi cultural England of today, there is a definite apathy towards the British Monarchy and its history.

  It managed to survive the Russian Revolution, the French Revolution, its OWN revolution and two world wars. But will it survive Chuck and Millie?

  In the middle of the two wars, the country felt very strongly about Mrs Simpson. They had the support of the government, the Church and the media to vent their antagonism to their potential future Queen.

  For the wedding of the second bride of Chucky, the government said nothing. The Prime Minister, Tony Blair attended the wedding with his wife. The pillars of the Church and its leaders were furious and initially wouldn’t contemplate the liaison, but time passed and the Archbishop Ronald Rumsey died and a new Archbishop was found who could see nothing wrong with the match, and there you have it.

  On the day of the wedding, the majority of the press was supportive of the Prince and his new wife, ‘How Happy’, ‘How wonderful’, only the ‘News of World’ saw that there was a problem… ‘The Bride and Gloom’ ran the headline, with reference to a very unhappy looking Majesty.

  In 1997, the outpouring of grief from the country, and the world, after the fatal crash in Paris, was genuine and passionate. Ten years later and most of the country had lost their appetite for an inquest into the three deaths.

  ‘It’s costing too much money” (over 10 million pounds), “We could feed the poor and build more hospitals with that amount of cash”. Of course we could, but you know we wouldn’t.

  “It’s been 13 years, its time to let her rest” True. But should there be a time limit on justice? Should we forget about the 6 million that died in the camps over 60 years ago and the ones that perpetrated the murders? Do we say, ‘well, it happened 60 years ago, let them rest.’ Should we forget the President who was shot 45 years ago and the one that was assassinated 200 years ago? Of course not!

  Once a person has invaded the World’s consciousness, if they are taken out of it in a brutal and untimely manner, it will gnaw at the conscience of the world. People will find it hard to accept and digest and demand answers, to make sense of a random tragedy.

  When we look at the plethora of investigations into the deaths of Monroe and Kennedy, we know we are unlikely to make sense of much. But conspiracy theories and Inquests aside, the winner at the end of the day will be complacency and apathy.

  Ultimately it will always come down to the people: The ones who don’t care and just want a ‘quiet life’. When you ask for a quiet life, you end up with a rotten life, a life that belongs to someone else, not yours.

  Someone extremely wise once said ‘IF YOU STAND FOR NOTHING, YOU’LL FALL FOR ANYTHING’.

  The intention of this book, is to make you smile, make you laugh, but mostly, to make you THINK!

  Ask questions! Make observations! Write letters! Get involved! Start to care! Seek the truth and don’t just accept the horrible spin that emanates from the Palace on a daily basis.

  The Windsors, or the Schlesswigs. Holsteins, Battenburgs… whatever their bloody name is (!), didn’t survive all those revolutions, deaths and wars because they were the nicest kids on the block. They endure because they are ruthless and completely single minded of purpose. Their purpose is to stay in power.

  HRH will listen to her subjects, as she has demonstrated on several occasions because the ultimate power belongs to YOU. The Queen knows it, but YOU have forgotten it.

  Take it back, assert your will.

  Princess Diana said that in her opinion “Charles was not the right man for the ‘top job’”. Doesn’t it go without saying that if he’s not the right man, then Millie, second bride of Chucky, is not the right woman and should never be Queen?

  Family Tree of British Tyranny

  William I

  1066-1087

  Fat Tyrant

  William II

  1087-1100

  Redheaded tyrant

  Henry I

  1100-1135

  Horrible tyrant

  (Emperor Henry V)

  1135-1154

  Henry II

  1154-1189

  Cruel Tyrant

  Richard I

  1189-1199

  Absent Tyrant

  John I

  1199-1216

  Unlucky Tyrant

  Henry III

  1216-1272

  Looser Tyrant

  *Edward I

  1272-1307

  There had to be one – a good king.

  Edward II

  1307-1327

  Dumb Tyrant

  Edward III

  1327-1377

  Mucky Tyrant

  Richard II

  1377-1399

  Rotten Tyrant

  House of Lancaster

  Henry IV

  1399-1413

  Unhappy Tyrant

  Henry V

  1413-1422

  Young Tyrant

  Henry VI

  1422-1471

  Half-wit Tyrant

  House of York

  Edward IV

  1471-1483

  Bully Tyrant

  Edward V

  1483-unknown

  Murdered

  Richard III

  1483-1485

  Tricky Tyrant

  War between House of Lancaster and House of York ended

  Henry VII

  1485-1509

  Scrooge of a Tyrant

  Henry VIII

  1509-1547

  Typical Tyrant

  Edward VI

  1547-1553

  Sickly Tyrant

  Mary I

  1553-1558

  Bloody Tyrant

  Elizabeth I

  1558-1603

  Moody Tyrant

  James I

  1603-1625

  Drunken Tyrant

  Charles I

  1625-1649

  Headless Tyrant

  *Charles II

  1660-1685

  Hooray! Another good king

  James II

  1685-1688

  Catholic Tyrant (deposed)

  William III & Mary II

  1688-1702

  Long and the short Tyrants

  Ann

  1702- 1714

  Fat, fat Tyrant

  George I

  1714-1727

  Nasty German Tyrant

  George II

  1683-1760

  Greedy, bad tempered Tyrant

  George III

  1760-1820

  Mad Tyrant

  George IV

  1720-1830

  Charmless, lazy, overweight Monarch

  William IV

  1830-1837

  Forgotten King

  Victoria

  1837-1901

  Miserable, unamused Monarch

  Edward VII

  1901-1910

  Self-centered, Playboy King

  George V

  1910-1936

  Cold Germanic Monarch

  Edward VIII

  1936-abd.1936

  ‘Wanna-be’ sweet Tyrant

  George VI

  1936-1952

  Mild mannered good Monarch

  Elizabeth II

  1952-

  Hard working dutiful Queen

  *Related to the Spencers. This book and its author heartedly endorse any Spencer-Churchill-Stuart lineage.

  “Cheers and Bottoms Up! - hic!”

  About the Author -

  Jacalynne Flax

  The Many Faces and Talents of

  Jacalynne Flax

  The incredibly multi-talented author is Jacalynne Flax, who is also an accomplished actress and comedienne. She has appeared on the big screen in the BBC's “Bring me the head of Mavis Davis” opposite such stars as Rik Mayall and Jane Horrocks has appeared on the Bill and also had a memorable role in the 1989 film version of “Phantom of the Opera" with Robert Englund (Freddie Kruger from the “Nightmare on Elm Street�
� horror film series).

  Phantom of the Opera

  Bring me the Head of Mavis Davis

  What is particularly “incredible” about Jacalynne is that, for the last 30 years she has suffered with Multiple Sclerosis, an aggressive, invasive, progressive disease of the central nervous system, which effects balance, causes terrible fatigue (brought on by the body attempting to heal itself) and sensory problems. Eventually this made it no longer possible for her to drive or to work, due to the fatigue caused by the illness.

  Sketches at: youtube.com/jactress

  What was possible however, due to the wonders of computer technology, Jacalynne found that she could write and perform “vlogs” (video logs) using satire and comedy. Her parodies of well known figures such as The Queen, Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall and Nancy Pelosi (Democratic Speaker of the American House of Representatives) using laughter therapy – and shares it with the world for all to enjoy. (200,000 views to date.)