Esther's Charge: A Story for Girls Read online

  CHAPTER VI.

  THE SHORN SHEEP.

  "I think you ought to come home with us, Uncle Bob, after cutting offEsther's tousle like that. I expect Aunt Saint will be in a jolly oldwax."

  The children had finished their tea out on the terrace, and a very nicetea it had been. Esther was looking brighter than she had done at first,and a little bit of color had stolen into her face; but her eyes stillhad a tired look in them, and there were dark marks underneath. Mr.Trelawny paused beside her, and passed his big hands over the croppedhead. The touch was kindly, and Esther tried to conquer the littlethrill of fear which ran through her. She felt as though she had behavedherself badly at the wizard's house, and that he had been very indulgentto her when he might have been very angry. She could not conquer herold fears all at once; but she resolved to try and mingle some likingwith them for this big, strange man, who seemed wishful to be regardedas an uncle.

  "What does the shorn sheep say herself about that?" asked Mr. Trelawny,bending down to look into Esther's face.

  She made herself return the glance, and said timidly,--

  "I think I should be much obliged if you would, Uncle Robert. You wouldexplain to mama better than I can."

  A smile lit up the rugged features of the Cornishman.

  "To be sure I will then, my dear. I'll take all the blame, which iscertainly all mine. I've got a few things I want to say to your mother,so I'll come down now and say them."

  So when the shadows had grown a little longer, and the sea was lit uplike a sheet of gold, the little party of four started down the hillagain, the boys tearing about like a pair of wild animals, Mr. Trelawnyfollowing more soberly, holding Esther's hand in his, and helping herover the bits of rough ground; though, as he remarked laughingly, itwas "like helping a bit of thistle-down over a hedge."

  Mr. Trelawny told Esther a great many interesting things during thatwalk--things about birds and insects, which she had never known before.He did not frighten her at all the whole way, and when she asked a timidquestion he always had a full and interesting answer ready.

  Then he told her that he had a number of books full of pictures of livecreatures in his library, and said she must come up another day and lookat them. And though Esther could never think of the Crag without acertain shrinking and fear, yet she did want to see the pictures verymuch, if only they would not take her into those awful undergroundplaces, or into the rooms where all those strange things went on.

  When they got home, there was a sound of voices coming from the opendrawing-room windows. The boys had rushed headlong in, and now cametumbling out again.

  "It's only Mrs. Poll-parrot and Pretty Polly!" cried the pair in abreath; whereupon Mr. Trelawny took the two heads, one in either hand,and knocked them pretty smartly together.

  "Mind your manners, boys!" he said in his big gruff voice, and strodeon, holding Esther's hand, whilst Pickle and Puck remained behind,staring after him and rubbing their heads with an air of injuredinnocence.

  "He's rather an old beast sometimes, I think," said Puck ratherruefully. "I don't quite like him always."

  "He makes us do as he says," added Pickle, "like Mr. Earle--I mean theOwl. I think it's rather interfering of them."

  Meantime Mr. Trelawny had entered the window, drawing Esther after him.

  "Good evening, madam," he said in his breezy way--"good evening to youall. Mrs. St. Aiden, I have come to make my peace with you. Tell mefirst what you think of your shorn lamb."

  Then he pushed Esther forward, and the child stood before her mother,the color coming and going in her face rather too fast to please Mr.Trelawny, who looked at her from under his bushy brows and shook hishead once or twice.

  Mrs. St. Aiden gave a little gasp, almost a little scream. Mrs.Polperran stared, and began to laugh; while Prissy cried out in unveiledastonishment,--

  "O Esther, your hair, your hair! Where has it gone?"

  "Here it is," said Mr. Trelawny, producing a packet wrapped in softpaper, and laying it upon Mrs. St. Aiden's knee. "I daresay someenterprising hairdresser would give a pretty penny for it. Now, MissPrissy, you run off with your little friend here. I want to talk alittle to these good ladies."

  Prissy rose, and Esther was glad to escape with her into the garden. Itwas delightful to have such a cool, comfortable head; but all the talkabout herself made her feel hot and shy.

  "O Esther!" cried Prissy, "you do look so funny. But I've often heardmother say that it is bad for you having such a great head of hair. Whatwas it made Mr. Trelawny cut it off? Don't you think it was taking agreat liberty without your mother's leave?"

  "I don't know," answered Esther slowly. "I don't think mama would everhave let him."

  The boys came running up now, and the four children were soon wellhidden from view in the clipped yew arbor, which was Esther's especialhaunt.

  "I thought he cut it off to use it in his experiments," said Pickle."I've read of magicians who took people's hair, and then they used toburn bits of it and make them come to them in their sleep. I expectthat's what he's done it for. I expect that you'll often be walking upto the cave in your sleep now."

  Esther began shaking at once, but Prissy said, with her grown-up air ofreproof,--

  "You are talking great nonsense, Philip." (Prissy very often called theboys Philip and Percy, to their own unspeakable disgust.) "There are nomagicians now; and besides, it was all nonsense when there were any. AndMr. Trelawny gave Esther's hair back to Mrs. St. Aiden just now. I sawhim."

  But Pickle wasn't going to be shut up like that.

  "I expect he kept some of it back for himself," he said; "and youneedn't pretend to know such a mighty lot about Mr. Trelawny and what hecan do. If he isn't a magician, he's something uncommonly like it. Youshould have seen the things he did to-day for us to see; and he'd havedone some funnier ones still, only _she_ went and flopped down in a heapon the floor, and then they had to carry her out, and they wouldn't goback any more."

  "What did you do, Esther?" asked Prissy.

  "I don't know. I felt funny down there, and everything seemed goinground, and I didn't know anything about the rest."

  "Well, she just spoiled the fun," said Puck. "They were going to show ussome things--skeletons in the tanks, I expect, or jolly things likethat--but when _she_ went flop they didn't seem to think a bit about us.They hustled us away up to the house, and wouldn't show us anythingmore. That's always the way when there are girls. They are always sureto spoil the fun."

  "I'm very sorry," said Esther penitently, "but I didn't mean to. Only Idon't like underground places. They make me feel queer."

  "I've heard father speak about Mr. Trelawny's cave," said Prissy. "Idon't think he likes it much. Quite a little while ago I heard him sayto mother that he was afraid, now Mr. Earle had come, that there mightbe something horrid happening there. I can't quite remember the words,but he said something like that. And mother said she was afraid he wasreckless, and too fond of experiments. I wonder what he does there, andwhat father is afraid of."

  "People always are afraid of magicians and wizards," said Pickle with asly look of triumph at Prissy; and for a moment she was silent, feelingas though she had been somehow caught in a trap.

  "Well, I think he's a very odd sort of man; and I don't think he'd anybusiness to cut off your hair, Esther. Did you know he was going to doit?"

  "No, I never thought of such a thing. I only said it made my head hot atnights, or something like that. And then he got a big pair of scissorsand cut it all off in a minute."

  "I think it looks rather nice like that," said Prissy, with a criticalglance, "though it does stand on end rather. I should think you wouldenjoy not having it combed out at nights."

  "I've decided now!" cried Puck, shouting out suddenly the great newidea. "I shall call you Ess now. It'll do for Esther, and for ShornSheep too. Old Bobby calls you that himself now, so he can't scold us.You shall be Ess. Don't you think that's a nice, easy, short name?"

  Mr. Trelawny w
as soon seen stalking away up the path towards the Crag,and Mrs. Polperran's voice was heard calling for Prissy. Esther stoleback to her mother's side, and asked timidly,--

  "You're not vexed with me, mama dear? Indeed I did not know what he wasgoing to do."

  "No, dear, I suppose not. It's no use making a trouble of it now it'sdone. It was certainly a liberty to take; but it's never any use beingangry with Mr. Trelawny--he only laughs and makes a joke of it. Besides,he always has looked upon you rather in the light of his ward. Yourfather did write to him before he died, asking him to give an eye to us,and to take care of us both if we wanted it. I suppose he thinks he hassome rights over you; and he has been very kind to us, so we must notsay too much."

  Esther listened very gravely. She did not know exactly what a ward mightbe, but she fancied that it made her in some sort the property of theredoubtable Mr. Trelawny. It was rather an alarming notion; but Esthersaid nothing, for it had been her endeavor all these past months, sinceher father's death, never to trouble her mother needlessly.

  "You should have told me about your headaches, dear," said Mrs. St.Aiden, stroking Esther's hand. "Perhaps we could have cured them thenwithout the sacrifice of your pretty hair."

  "O mama, they weren't so very bad. I didn't want to worry you. But Ithink I shall be much better now without my hair."

  "And what made you faint in the cave, dear? You frightened Mr. Trelawnyand Mr. Earle, I think."

  Esther thought it had been the other way; but she only said, after alittle hesitation,--

  "There didn't seem any air down there, and it was all so dark andqueer, it made me feel funny; but I didn't know I fainted."

  "Well, I have told Mr. Trelawny not to take you there again. I havealways had that sort of dislike to caves and underground places myself.Men don't understand that sort of thing; but you had better never gothere again, Esther."

  "Oh, thank you, mama!" cried Esther earnestly.

  It was an immense relief to feel that she need never go back to thecave, and that Mr. Trelawny had been told not to take her there. Shecould almost face the idea of going up to the Crag to see the books, ifshe were safe from that terrible place. Things seemed suddenly to bebrighter and happier altogether. Esther was quite lively that evening;and as Genefer brushed the shorn head at night she remarked,--

  "Well, Miss Esther, it's made a good bit of difference to your looks;but I always did say to the missus that it was a pity to let you growsuch a mane of hair now. Very likely you would have had it grow thin andpoor as you grew up; but if you keep it cropped short for a few years,you'll have a nice head of hair when you're a young lady and want itagain."

  On Sunday afternoon Milly and Bertie Polperran came to the Hermitage tospend the time with their little friends there, as on Saturday they hadnot met.

  Prissy taught a little class in the Sunday school; but Milly and Bertiewere free, only that they had some little verses and part of a hymn tolearn, and they had leave to say them to Esther to-day.

  Esther had been rather exercised in her mind about the fashion in whichPickle and Puck spent their Sundays. They went to church in the morningwith her, and kept her pretty much on tenter-hooks all the time,although they had never done anything very outrageous so far. But theireyes always seemed everywhere, and nothing escaped their observation;and they would giggle in a subdued yet sufficiently audible fashion, ifanything amused them, and sometimes try to make Esther or their littlefriends opposite join them in their ill-timed hilarity.

  After having been to church, they seemed to consider that for themSunday had ended, and they played about and amused themselves just asthey pleased.

  "Crump always played with us on Sunday afternoons," they would say whenEsther suggested something more quiet and decorous, according to herideas. They did not seem to understand why they should be more quiet onSunday than on any other day, and it was not quite easy for Esther toexplain.

  "They must have been badly brought up," Prissy would say in her prim,grown-up fashion. "I think their father must be a very strange sort ofman." But when Esther spoke to Genefer, she was a little comforted byhearing her say,--

  "You see, Miss Esther, the poor little boys have had no mother to teachthem, and gentlemen don't think of things quite like mothers. I don'tthink they mean to be naughty a bit, but they've not been taught as youhave. Perhaps they'll get into better ways living here for a spell. Butit's no good preaching at them. That'll never do it. You only get atchildren by making them love you. Then they like the things you like,and they learn different ways. They're getting fond of you, Miss Esther,my dear. They'll begin to copy you by and by, whether they know it ornot."

  Esther did not think Pickle and Puck had much notion of copying anybody;but she thought they were growing fond of her in a fashion, and she wascertainly growing fond of them. If they brought new anxiety into herlife, they brought a considerable amount of pleasure and variety too.She did not at all regret the arrangement, although she wished the boyshad been just a little younger, so that she might have had moreinfluence over them.

  "We're going to have a Sunday school, and you're to teach!" cried Milly,running up to Esther as she sat in the yew arbor, thinking that the fourlittle ones would rather be alone together. "We've learned our lessons,and Pickle and Puck have learned something, too; and now we're going tocome and be a class, and you're to teach us."

  There was plenty of room in the summer-house for the class; and a chairwas set for Esther, whilst her four scholars occupied the fixed benchthat ran round the arbor. They came in with looks of decorous gravity,and the boys pulled their forelocks, and Milly made a courtesy, whilstEsther felt half-embarrassed at so much respect and deference.

  The little Polperrans repeated their lessons with the readiness of thoseaccustomed to such tasks. Pickle followed with a fair show of fluency;and Puck said a short text with great deliberation, prompted from timeto time by Milly, who had evidently "coached" him up in it.

  At the close he looked up into Esther's face and asked with duesolemnity, evidently put up to the right phraseology by either Bertie orMilly,--

  "Please, teacher, what is the sin that so easily besets us?"

  There was a faint giggle from Bertie; but Puck had thrown himself intohis part, and was as solemn as a judge. Esther was a little embarrassedat the position in which she found herself, but she strove to find asuitable answer.

  "I think it's different things with different people," she said after apause. "You know some people are naughty in some ways, and some inothers. We don't all sin alike."

  Pickle here broke in eagerly,--

  "Let's think of the naughty things people do. Mr. Trelawny cut off yourhair yesterday without asking leave. Wasn't that a sort of sin?"

  Esther was rather taken aback at this method of treating the subject;but before she had found words in which to reply, the boy had broken outagain,--

  "I tell you what I think it is--the sin that so easily besets him isdoing just as he likes, and being what Crump calls 'lord higheverything.' Don't you think that's Uncle Bob's sin, Ess?"

  Esther looked straight at Pickle, and answered with some spirit,--

  "I know somebody else who always wants to do as he likes, and cares verylittle what other people say or think."

  Pickle looked suddenly taken aback.

  "My stars!" he exclaimed.

  Bertie pointed one finger at Pickle and another at Puck. His square facewas bubbling over with a subdued sense of humor.

  "She means you," said Puck: "I know she does. It's just what you'realways saying. You do what you like, and don't care what people say. Ifit's a sin, it's your sin too."

  "Oh dear!" cried Pickle, really interested now; "I never thought of thatbefore. Did you mean that, Ess?"

  Esther's face was rosy red now; she spoke truthfully, however.

  "I think I did, Pickle. You know you do like your own way. But I thinkwe all like that. I suppose that's one of the sins that easily besets usall."

  "I don't th
ink it besets you," said Pickle loyally; "you're always doingthings you don't like, to spare other people, or because they want youto."

  "It besets Prissy!" cried Milly eagerly; "she always wants her own way.She likes to be 'lord high everything' too. She's been as cross as twosticks lately, because Bertie and I have kept secrets from her, and shecan't do just as she likes with us."

  But Esther did not think this a very profitable turn to the talk, andshe said slowly and rather shyly,--

  "I don't think we need bother about other people's sins. It would bebetter to leave these alone, I think, and just to try and find out ourown. If we know what they are, perhaps we can get over them; but if wedon't know them, we shall never fight against them properly."

  "There's some sense in that!" cried Pickle eagerly. "There was a pictureI once saw on a church window of a man fighting with a dragon. I askedthe old verger what it meant, and he said it was what all of us had todo some time or other. I didn't know what he meant, but Crump told me hemeant that we all had to fight against sins, only they weren't livegreen dragons with red eyes and crinkly wings now; and we didn't alwaysknow when one was trying to get the best of us, but we'd got to try andbe ready to fight. I suppose that's the sort of thing you mean, Ess?We've got to find out what our sins are. Let's have a think about itnow. I don't mind fighting, if I only know what to fight."

  "I'd like it to be a green dragon with red eyes," said Puck; "there'dbe some sense in that."

  "Well, but if there aren't any dragons left, we have to do it the otherway," cried Pickle eagerly. "Now, let's think about it. We'll all think.At least I don't think Esther needs. I don't think she's got any sins."

  "O Pickle, don't say that!"

  "Well, I don't think you have. You're always good. Look at the marks youget; and the Owl has never had to scold you once. I don't believe youcould think of any sin that besets you."

  "Yes, indeed I can," answered Esther--"ever so many. I've got one in myhead this very minute."

  "What's that? Do tell."

  Esther's face grew red, but she answered bravely,--

  "Yes, I'll tell you if you like, because, perhaps, if I tell, I shall beable to fight it better. I'm often so frightened about things nobodyelse is."

  The children eyed her wonderingly.

  "But I don't call that a sin," cried Pickle. "You can't help beingfrightened--you're a girl."

  "Yes, but I don't think girls ought to be cowards," answered Esther, herface still flushed. "I want to learn to be brave. I think being afraidwhen there isn't any reason is a sort of sin." She paused and hesitated,and then added in a lower voice, "I think we ought to remember that Godcan always take care of us, and then we need not be afraid any more."

  The children were silent for a few minutes. Something in Esther's mannerimpressed them, they hardly knew why. They felt that she was speaking tothem out of the depths of her heart, and that she meant every word shesaid.

  "Do you ever think about God?" asked Pickle at last.

  "Yes," answered Esther in a low voice, "but not as often as I ought to.I shouldn't be so frightened often, if I thought about Him more."

  "Why? What difference would it make?"

  "Oh, don't you see? Suppose you were frightened by something, and feltall alone, with nobody to help you. And then suppose you rememberedthat your father was looking at you all the time through a windowsomewhere with a glass, and that he saw you though you didn't see him.And if you knew that he could send somebody to help you if you wanted itreally, why, you wouldn't be afraid any more, would you?"

  "No, I suppose not. It would be silly."

  "I think, perhaps, it is silly; and what is silly can be a sin, Ithink," said Esther steadily. "I want not to be frightened so often, andI think that is the sin that most easily besets me. I am going to tryand fight against it, because it makes me forget about God always seeingus and taking care of us, and that is wrong, I know."

  "I wonder what my sin is!" cried Pickle. "I expect I've got a lot.Esther, do you think it's a sin to call people by nicknames? Old--I meanUncle Robert makes a great fuss about it."

  "I--I don't think it's perhaps the names exactly," said Esther, with alittle hesitation--"at least not amongst ourselves. But to older peopleit doesn't seem quite respectful, and children ought to treat olderpeople with respect. I think it says so in the Bible somewhere. I'msure it means it often. You know that even Jesus was obedient, and'subject to' Joseph and Mary, though He was God's Son all the time."

  "We don't mean any harm," said Puck. "Crump used only to laugh, and callus cheeky little beggars."

  "Well," said Esther, with a little gentle decision in her tone, "I don'tthink it sounds at all nice for little boys to speak of their father asCrump."

  "Don't you, really? Do you mean you would call it a sin?"

  "I don't know whether I am old enough to judge about that," answeredEsther, "but it doesn't seem to me like honoring our fathers and mothersto speak of them like that, and that would be disobeying one of thecommandments."

  "Well, I never thought of it like that," said Pickle, in the tone of oneopen to conviction; "but I don't mind giving that up, if it is a sort ofa sin. I did sometimes think that when people were there Cr--I meanfather--didn't always quite like it. But I'm sure we must have lots ofsins besides that. That's only quite a little one."

  "I'm greedy; that's my sin," said Bertie. "I always want the biggest eggor the nicest cake. I don't always get them, but I want them. I shallhave to fight against that."

  "I don't like getting up in the morning," said Milly; "and I get crosswith Prissy often; and I hate my sums, and scribble on my slate insteadof doing them. I think I'm lazy, for I'm always so glad when we can't dolessons, or visitors come when I'm practising. And sometimes I don'tpractise all my time, but run out into the garden for a little while, ifnobody is about, and pretend I've been at the piano all the time. Idon't mean I say so, because nobody asks me; but I pretend it to myself,and I suppose that's a sort of lie."

  "I sometimes tell stories," said Puck. "I say I've done things and seenthem, and I haven't really--at least not just as I say them. I like topretend things are bigger than they are, and that we're braver, andstronger, and cleverer."

  "And I like to do just as I like," said Pickle, remembering how theconversation had begun. "I don't like Mr. Earle when he interferes, andmakes us do things his way; and I get in a rage sometimes because hesees through us and stops the things we want to do. I think I've got alot of sins--more than any of the rest of you. I'm the eldest, and so Isuppose I should have. At least Esther's older; but then she's good. Idon't call it a sin to be afraid. Girls and women are made that way.It's much worse to be always wanting your own way, and not caring foranything or anybody so long as you get it."

  Pickle had faced the flaw in his character or training with a good dealof candor, although, perhaps, there was a touch of pride in the feelingthat he had a bigger sin to battle with than anybody else.

  Esther's voice was now heard saying gently,--

  "Then if we all know what is the sin that so easily besets us, we oughtto be able to fight against it better, and to help one another to fighttoo. I think it would be nice to help each other when we can. There issomething somewhere about bearing one another's burdens. I should thinkthat would be the same sort of thing."

  "And let's have a Sunday school rather often," said Milly, "and telleach other how we're getting on. I should like to know if Esther stopsbeing afraid of things; and I'll tell how often I've been lazy atlessons, or have got angry with Prissy. Now and then I'm angry withmother too"--here Milly's face got very red--"and sometimes I saynaughty things to her very softly, because I know she doesn't hear them.I think that's quite a sin--don't you, Esther?"

  The sound of the tea-bell broke up the Sunday school at that moment, andthe children trooped to the house, where Genefer had a nice tea waitingfor them in the dining-room.

  That night she remarked to her little charge how well-behaved they hadall been that Su
nday afternoon.

  Esther's face grew rather rosy as she answered,--

  "Yes, we are all going to try to be good, and fight our sins. But,Genefer, I wanted to tell them that we must ask Jesus to help us, and Ididn't quite know how to say it, and so I didn't. I think it's very hardto be really brave."

  "You'll get braver as you get older, Miss Esther," said the womansympathetically, "and the little folks will soon find out that theywant help for their bits of battles, and you can talk about how that'sto be had another time."

  "I--yes, I will try," said Esther earnestly. "I hope I shall growbraver, and then it will be less hard."