Dirty Russian_Everyday Slang from 'What's Up' Read online

  Total slacker student

  stye-RIL-nii

  This is the opposite of the

  . He just always comes unprepared and has, on some level, accepted his fate as a failure.

  The very first semester of one’s college career

  bo-ye-VO-ye kre-SCHE-ni-ye

  The more standard meaning of this funny, slangy term is “baptism by fire.”

  The halfway mark in your college degree program

  ek-VA-tor

  Cheat sheet

  SHPOR-a

  Short for

  (shpar-GAL-ka).

  Cheat sheet

  BOM-ba

  This kind of cheat sheet has answers to the exact questions on the test.

  Student ticket

  stu-DAK

  Short for

  (stu-DYEN-ches-kii bi-LYET). When Russian students take exams, they must randomly draw a “ticket.” Whatever

  question is written on the ticket is what they must answer for their final exam grade. Unless their parents have a lot of money.

  The Russian army

  ro-SSII-ska-ya AR-mi-ya

  Russia stil has a mandatory draft that just about everyone tries to avoid by any means possible, including bribing a doctor to write a medical exemption, checking into a mental institute, going to col ege and/or grad school, or just plain running away. It’s hard to blame them: Aside from the numerous and deadly military adventures currently going on in the Caucasus, Russian soldiers live in deplorable conditions and face a kind of military hazing that is beyond cruel and unusual. But if you don’t have the brains or the connections to get yourself out of service, then once you turn 18, you’re pretty much stuck waiting for your number to come up. Not surprisingly, the suicide rate is quite high.

  He signed himself into the nuthouse to dodge the draft.

  on za-pi-SAL-sya v dur-DOM, CHTO-bi u-klon-YAT-sya ot pri-ZI-va.

  .

  The recruit started playing the crazy card as soon as they tried to send him to Chechnya.

  no-vo-BRA-nyets NA-chal ko-SIT pod du-ra-KA, kak TOL-ko ye-VO sta-RA-lis po-SLAT v chech-NYU.

  The soldier snuck out to get some booze.

  sol-DAT u-SHOL v sa-mo-VOL-ku za VI-piv-koi.

  Samovolka is essential y going AWOL but usual y only for a brief period of time, such as to make a quick vodka run.

  GI

  o-bye-ZYA-na

  Literal y, a monkey

  A fellow soldier from your hometown

  ZYO-ma

  A recruit in his first year of service

  dukh

  A recruit in his second and final year

  dyed

  Hence the fol owing word for “hazing.”

  There’s crazy hazing in the Russian army. v ro-SSII-skoi AR-mii po-VAL-na-ya dye-dov-SCHI-na.

  Combat boots

  BYER-tsi

  His puttees really reek!

  ye-VO por-TYAN-ki U-zhas kak vo-NYA-yut!

  In case you don’t know, puttees are those nasty foot cloths soldiers wear instead of socks.

  Chow

  bol-TI

  Specifical y, this is pearl barley kasha, which is pretty much al Russian soldiers are ever given to eat.

  MIA

  vpro-YO-bye

  Not so much in the literal sense of disappearing in combat; more like just “whereabouts unknown.”

  KIA (killed in action)

  dvukh-SO-tii

  WIA (wounded in action)

  tryokh-SO-tii

  Military prison

  gaupt-VAKH-ta

  The brig

  gu-BA

  Don’t screw around with the Special Forces.

  nad spyets-NA-zom nye iz-dye-VAI-sya.

  These guys are the real badasses of the Russian military.

  He who serves in the army doesn’t laugh at the circus. kto v AR-mii slu-ZHIL, tot v TSIR-kye nye sme-YO-tsya.

  A famous army proverb about the absurdities of army life.

  A lot Afghan vets live in fucking awful conditions.

  MNO-gi-ye af-GAN-tsi zhi-VUT v khu-YO-vikh u-SLO-vi- yakh.

  In many ways, Afghanistan was for the Soviet Union what Vietnam was for America, and there are a whole lotta vets in Russia missing eyes and limbs, sometimes homeless, and often of questionable mental stability. They are now being joined by the new generation of Chechen war veterans who are in pretty much the same condition upon their return to the Motherland. Aside from old people sel ing off al of their possessions for a few kopecks to buy bread, this is probably one of the saddest things you’l ever see in Russia.

  Also, an abbreviation you wil often see is ВОВ ( VOV), which stands for

  ( ve-LI-ka-ya o-TYE-chyest-vye-nna-ya voi-

  NA), the Great Patriotic War. This is what Russians cal World War I, and if you know anything about the astronomical losses the Soviet Union suffered, you’l understand why it holds a sacred place in Russia’s historical memory. However, unless you are wil ing to admit that Russia won the war single-handedly, this is probably a topic best avoided.

  CHAPTER 3

  PARTY RUSSIAN

  TU-SO-VOCH-NI RU-SKI

  The legends of Russian drinking are not exaggerated: Russians are hard-core drinkers, and bacchanalian revelry pervades al aspects of life from the quick beer on the way to work to liquid lunches and vodka-drenched business meetings to al -night parties that rapidly degenerate into a marathon of reckless bingeing, blurring al lines between Friday night and Monday morning into a foggy haze of excess and regret. Let’s face it: If you hang with Russians, you wil drink. A lot. And in al likelihood at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate places.

  Tying one on

  o-pya-NYE-ni-ye

  Let’s go...

  poi-DYOM...

  for a drink.

  VI-pit.

  drinkin’.

  po-DRINK-at.

  From the English word “drink.” There is also a noun form,

  (drink).

  boozing.

  DYOR-nem.

  really tie one on.

  drink some booze.

  party.

  za-zhi-GAT.

  do some drinkin’.

  BAKH-nut.

  wet our whistles.

  na-ka-TIT.

  get hammered.

  bukh-NYOM.

  бухнём.

  get smashed.

  na-ZHRYOM-sya.

  I need a drink.

  kho-CHU VI-pit.

  I want to get drunk.

  kho-CHU na-PIT-sya.

  I’m jonesing for a drink.

  TRU-bi gor-YAT.

  Pour ’em!

  na-li-VAI!

  Let me get this round.

  da-VAI ya za-bosh-LYA-yu.

  I demand that the banquet continue!

  ya TRYE-bu-yu pro-dol-ZHE-ni-ya ban-KYE-ta!

  Score some cultural points with this famous line from the classic Soviet comedy

  (Ivan Vasilievich Changes

  Professions).

  Where Russians get drunk

  gdye RU-sski-ye na-pi-VA-yu-tsya

  Russians drink everywhere. Bars and clubs are al around, from dives hidden away in piss-soaked basements to upscale establishments ful of flat-headed thugs in leather jackets and bouncers checking weapons at the door. When in Russia, choose your watering hole wisely!

  Let’s go...

  poi-DYOM...

  Remember when talking about direction, you need to use the accusative case.

  to a bar.

  v bar.

  to a club.

  v klub.

  to a dance club.

  na dis-ko-TYE-ku.

  to a disco.

  na dis-KACH.

  to a strip joint.

  na strip-TIZ.

  to a drinking party.

  na PYAN-ku.

  to a booze bash.

  na bu-KHA-lo-vo.

  to my place.

  ko MNYE.

  Let’s drink…r />
  da-VAi VI-pyem…

  on the street.

  na U-li-tse.

  in a park.

  v PAR-kye.

  in a stairwell.

  v pod-YEZ-dye.

  with some hos I know.

  u zna-KOM-ikh BLYA-dyei.

  There’s going to be a rockin’ party tonight. se-VOD-nya BU-dyet KLASS-na-ya tu-SOV-ka.

  Me and my buds are going for a guys’ night out. mi so svo-I-mi re-BYA-ta-mi i-DYOM na mal-CHISH-nik.

  My girlfriend went to a hen party tonight while I sat at home like an idiot. po-KA ya TU-po si-DYEL DO-ma, mo-YA DYEV-ush-ka po-SHLA na dyev-ICH-nik.

  The night is young.

  VRE-mya DYET-sko-ye.

  Booze

  bu-KHLO

  Not surprisingly, the Russian drink of choice is vodka, most often shot straight up. Beer is becoming increasingly popular with the younger crowd, however, and many bars now offer both local and imported brews on tap.

  Since Russia is al in love with the stupid metric system, you order vodka in measurements of 50 grams, which is just about two ounces (a typical American shot is an ounce and a half). So you can order as little as one smal 50-gram drink

  or—more likely—a 500-gram bottle (

  ). The standard shot, however, is 100 grams (

  ), sometimes just cal ed a

  ( STOP-ka). For beer, you order by the parts of a

  liter—most commonly a third (cal ed

  ) or a half (cal ed

  , and you can actual y buy up to 2.5 liters of beer in big plastic bottles as if it

  were soda. This is cal ed a

  ( ba-ZU-ka).

  What are we having?

  chto BU-dyem?

  I’ll have…

  ya BU-du…

  Notice that al of

  these words are in

  the accusative case.

  vodka.

  VOD-ku.

  voddy.

  VO-doch-ku.

  An affectionate term for vodka. You may also here the term

  ( vo-DYAR-a).

  CHASERS〉〉〉

  ZA-KU-SO-NI

  The Russian idea of a chaser is a lot more liberal than the American version. Although chasing vodka with fruit juice is possible, pounding down sto gramm wil be fol owed more often by a swig of beer, by a bite of a pickle, or by sniffing a piece of black bread. It’l burn at first, but much to your own undoing, it’l get easier with each passing shot.

  What can I chase with?

  chem za-ku-SIT?

  What can I take a whiff of (to kil the burn)?

  chem za-NYU-khat?

  Let’s chase this vodka with some beer.

  da-VAI shli-fo-NYOM-sya.

  moonshine.

  sa-mo-GON.

  .

  Although the real sots just cal this Russian homebrew

  (sem).

  pure grain alcohol.

  chi-sto-GAN.

  cognac.

  ko-NYAK.

  The more slangy word is

  (ko-NI-na). This is, of course, more often brandy than actual cognac.

  some brew.

  piv-KO.

  yorsh.

  yorsh.

  A mixed drink consisting of vodka and beer.

  SOME FINER POINTS OF RUSSIAN IMBIBING〉〉〉

  Russians like to get the party started as quickly as possible, which means they waste no time pounding down the drinks. By tradition, the first shot is quickly fol owed by the second. A popular Russian saying goes:

  You don’t take a break between the first and the second shots. MYεZH-du PYεR-voiivto-ROI pye-rye-RIV-chik nye-bol-SHOI.

  Keep in mind that Russian parties are a bit different from Americans parties. There is no mingling—hey, they didn’t come to stand around making awkward smal talk with a bunch of losers, they came to get shitfaced. When you go a Russian party, you sit, you eat, and you drink. I vsyo.

  Down the hatch!

  do DNA!

  This is general y how you’l be cheered on when pounding down shots.

  A penalty drink

  shtraf-NOI

  So that any latecomers don’t stay sober long enough to gather compromising information on their already shitfaced and loose-lipped companions.

  Brudershaft

  This is a toast honoring the brotherhood of men in which you wil be expected to link arms with guy next to you as you gaze deeply into each other’s increasingly dilated pupils and pound down another shot. Bottoms up!

  One for the road

  na po-so-SHOK

  This is traditional y the last toast of the evening. Drink it down and get out while you stil can!

  And on a final note, there is a Russian custom of immediately removing empty bottles from the table. This often means placing them on the floor, under or beside the table. I’m not entirely sure why they do this: It may be superstition related, or it might just be a not-so-subtle hint that they are ready for another bottle to be opened.

  beer and sour cream.

  PI-vo so smye-TA-noi.

  Before there was Viagra, there was beer and sour cream.

  a little vino.

  vin-TSO.

  mulled wine.

  glint-VYEIN.

  port.

  port-VEIN.

  It’s cheap, it’s potent, and it’s also sometimes cal ed

  ( port-ve-SHOK).

  home-brewed fruit wine.

  GRU-shki-YA-bloch-ki.

  bubbly.

  sham-PUN.

  Although it literal y means “shampoo,” so it’s al about the context here.

  a cocktail.

  kok-TYEIL.

  a screwdriver.

  ot-VYOR-ku.

  a bloody Mary.

  kro-VA-vu-yu ME-ri.

  a gin and tonic.

  dzhin TO-nik.

  a rum and Coke.

  rom KO-lu.

  Do you have (dark, light) beer on tap?

  YEST u vas (TYOM-no-ye, SVYET-lo-ye) PI-vo na roz-LI-vye ?

  It’s time to move on to something stronger.

  po-RA pod-NYAT GRA-dus.

  That bartender mixes a mean drink.

  E-tot bar-MEN ba-DYA-zhit KLASS-ni-ye kok-TYEI-li

  Do you have anything stronger?

  YEST u vas chto-ni-BUD po-KRYEP-che?

  We’ll drink anything that burns.

  mi pyom VSYO, chto go-RIT.

  They pour crap here.

  tut na-li-VA-yut ta-KU-yu dryan.

  I’m not going to drink this shitty beer.

  ya nye BU-du pit E-to pi-zdo-VA-to-ye PI-vo.

  This is crappy vodka.

  E-ta VOD-ka khre-NO-va-ya.

  After drinking that voddy, we were zonked.

  PO-sle E-toi vo-DYA-ri mi BI-li v A-u-tye.

  This home brew really packs a punch.

  E-tot sem da-YOT ZHA-ru.

  That’s a chick drink.

  E-to BAB-skii na-PI-tok.

  Let’s each have a brew.

  da-VAI po piv-KU.

  Let’s have another round.

  da-VAI e-SCHO po od-NOI.

  What, have you lost your fucking mind?!?! We’ve

  already drunk half a barrel!

  ti CHTO, o-khu-YEL?!?! mi u-ZHE pol-BOCH-ki VI-pi-li!

  Gimme some coin for beer.

  go-NI mnye BAB-ki na PI-vo.

  Give me some scratch.

  dai ba-BLO.

  Toasts

  TOS-ti

  The more drunk Russians get, the longer and more tear-fil ed their toasts seem to be. But don’t sweat it: It’s not so much what you say, but the heart you put into it that wil win over your drinking buddies. Most Russian toasts begin with variations of the fol owing words:

  Let’s drink to...!

  da-VAI VI-pyem za...!

  Here’s to…!

  da-VAI za…!¡¡

  meeting under the table.

  VSTRYE-chu pod sto-LOM.

  women. We don’t care what we drink to
anyway, and it

  makes them happy.

  ZHEN-schin. NAM-to vsyo rav-NO, za CHTO pit, a IM-pri-YAT-no.

  a light heart and heavy pockets.

  LYO-gko-ye SYERD-tse i tya-ZHO-li-ye kar-MA-ni.

  honest and humble people. There are so few of us left!

  CHYES-nikh i SKROM-nikh lyu-DYEI. nas o-STA-los tak MA-lo!

  wives and lovers, and to them never meeting.

  zhon i lyu-BOV-nits, CHTO-bi on-i ni-kog-DA nye VSTRYE-ti-lis.

  Wasted

  bu-KHOI

  There wil inevitably come a point where you’re too drunk to slur out the words demanding another round. Not to worry: just do as the Russian do and flick your middle finger against the side of your neck. You’l have your sto gramm in no time!

  He’s/She’s...

  on/o-NA...

  drunk.

  PYA-nii/PYA-na-ya.

  a little tipsy.

  slye-GKA pyan/pya-NA.

  shitfaced drunk.

  v SRA-ku pyan/pya-NA.

  drunk off his/her ass.

  v ZHO-pu pyan/pyan-A.

  completely wasted.

  pyan/pya-nA v dro-VA.

  wrecked.