Forest of Lost Secrets Read online

  Riley smirked. “No poet said that, Jess. Just you.”

  “Well, it does toucheth the soul, don’t you think?”

  “Whatever.”

  “This is it,” announced the driver. “Kyne Lane.”

  The car veered off the narrow road and onto a gravel lane. Neatly maintained stone fences ran down both sides. After a mile of sways and bumps, they passed through a dense copse of trees and turned down a winding gravel driveway. One hundred yards later they beheld a large two-story manor house. The driver pulled around the circular driveway that looped in front of the house, crunching gravel along the way, and stopped by the front door.

  Two

  In the realm of Derfaria

  Standing on a terrace atop her father’s house, Keeva looked out at the land of Derfaria. Though it was past noon, the pale sun cast a dim yellow light upon the landscape. Long trails of vapor hung from the spindly limbs of scattered trees.

  Four stories below her, orderly buildings and lanes comprised the community surrounding her father’s massive home. Sandstone terraces similar to the one on which she stood were commonplace. Perhaps they were a bit less ornate, but all of them had thick bands of silver inlay and great shards of yellow crystal mounted on their handrails. Between the dwellings were small ponds, their edges filled with delicate reeds. Tendrils of mist danced above the waters.

  Keeva’s attention was drawn to a nearby plaza, where, from her elevated vantage point, she saw a cheerful gathering of Derfarian citizens chatting and frequently bursting out in laughter. They wore the long flowing robes typical of her land. Some were completely white, while accents of silver and yellow trimmed others. Their loose robes complemented their tall frames, though sometimes their faces, pale with light hair, seemed lost among the white cloth.

  With a heavy sigh, she sat down on a nearby sandstone bench. Where was Neasan? Why was he late?

  A particularly loud surge of laughter reached her and she gazed at the crowd with envy. She wondered what they might be talking about. What could be so amusing?

  She could join the happy gathering if she wished. It wasn’t as if she were imprisoned in her father’s house. Of course, she would have to get his permission. And she would need a good reason for going. But even then, even if she were allowed to join the crowd, she would be escorted by a member of her father’s personal guard. As the sole daughter of the Derfarian king, she couldn’t be allowed to mingle with the common people without protection.

  So even should she venture out into the kingdom, she would never be like one in the crowd. She was different. Her father kept it that way. There would be no joking or laughter. No spontaneous conversation and feeling of comradeship. She wouldn’t really be a part of the fun. Her station in life meant she was often excluded. But it was the only life she had known.

  Until recently.

  She recalled her father’s oft-repeated warning. Not only was she the king’s daughter, he would say, but she was blessed with great beauty. Precautions must be taken. Many who would profess to be her friend would have hidden agendas. Especially men. They would use whatever charms and skills they possessed to ensnare her and bend her to their will. To claim her and to take advantage of her position. Such men would care little if she were harmed in the process.

  Keeva knew her father was wise and had her best interest at heart, so these warnings, which she had heard since she was very young, had been heeded. But as she grew older, she secretly became convinced that her father’s concerns were exaggerated. Most of the men she had met in her seventeen years seemed overall honorable.

  And then there was Neasan.

  She had never met anyone like him. He was not from Derfaria, so he looked different. He was shorter than most Derfarian men, though stouter. And instead of long, light hair, his was reddish brown. His strong face was not hairless and pale but ruddy and sported rich red sideburns. Keeva considered him the most interesting man she had ever seen.

  But what made Neasan special went beyond his exotic appearance. He had a confident, easy way about him. He was completely comfortable with himself. He possessed no pretense but was as genuine and natural as one could be. His animated face often carried a smile and frequent winks of the eye, and he easily broke out in laughter. She loved his laugh. Pure and full and kind.

  The first time he visited her, on this very terrace, he had been uninvited. His sudden appearance had surprised and frightened her, and she never fully understood why she hadn’t summoned the royal guards to have him ousted. Instead, she sat with him and they talked and laughed. It must have been his cheerful manner and grand smile. Neasan loved to talk and was like an open book. He spoke of a peaceful realm called Panagu, his home far away. Unlike Derfaria, whose sun was almost always obscured by cloud cover, and whose air was perpetually warm and humid, Panagu’s skies were typically bright and clear. The seasons changed, and green plants and trees of all kinds grew profusely. The Panaguans used their botanical wealth for architectural structures, medicines, and artistic creations.

  Neasan’s family had a prominent place on Panagu’s Board of Nobles, which worked directly with the king of Panagu in ruling the land. He often spoke passionately of how they strove to create an equitable and just society. This was different from Derfaria. Keeva’s family had ruled with absolute authority for many generations, but she believed they did so benevolently. The different approach deeply interested Keeva, who was reminded often that someday, after her father stepped down, she would rule Derfaria.

  Though Neasan had awoken in her a joy she had never felt, she could not bring herself to set aside her father’s warnings. From the beginning, she had remained aloof. As Neasan returned, time and time again, she had maintained her cool reserve, never revealing to him how much she looked forward to his next visit. Yet, despite her cool distance, Neasan became increasingly forthcoming about his own feelings toward her.

  He didn’t appear to be a manipulative person with questionable motives. He didn’t seem to be using her for anything except fond companionship, engaging conversation, and—she wondered—maybe something more?

  As Neasan described his loneliness when they were apart and how he longed for her to be by his side always, Keeva listened with rapt fascination, and she secretly began to feel the same way.

  Even on his most recent visit, during which he had spoken of love for the first time, she had remained seemingly unaffected. Yet after he left, as she had gazed out across the misty Derfarian landscape, her heart warmed. It felt good. She still felt Neasan’s loving presence and began to look toward her future. The possibility of something different from the life she had known thus far seemed real as long as she was with Neasan.

  It came to her rather suddenly that she didn’t want to be without this newfound joy. She wanted to embrace it, even cultivate it. Hadn’t she been cautious for long enough now? If Neasan was seeking gain, wouldn’t he have already acted on it?

  She no longer doubted. Neasan had changed her life. It was him she loved and wanted, nothing less.

  Reveling in the realization, she had decided she could no longer be false. She would embrace the feelings that filled her heart and even share them. The decision felt unfamiliar, but it seemed like the natural thing to do.

  But it was more than her love toward him. His noble convictions had inspired her. She wondered how her father would react if she wanted to become more involved with the people of Derfaria. She was nearing a mature age. Perhaps she could begin to establish herself as a benevolent and trusted leader in her own right. Dare she even dream of Neasan at her side?

  As Keeva stood on her terrace and waited, she felt giddy and optimistic. She was determined to reveal her true feelings upon Neasan’s arrival.

  But where was he?

  Keeva looked up at the pale Derfarian sun and pursed her lips. He typically came to her at high noon, yet it was nearly an hour past. She began to worry, turning the rings on her fingers. Had his patience finally given out? Had he, because of her r
eserve, decided to abandon her? Now that she had realized how she felt, she wasn’t sure she could bear it.

  She tried to reassure herself as she paced. He would come, and she would throw caution aside. She would hold him, her Neasan, and tell him of her new truth, and never let him go.

  Another wave of laughter reached her from the plaza and she stood at the terrace rail, watching the crowd. She imagined a future Keeva—a different Keeva—circulating the kingdom on days like today. She would be a level-headed and elegant adviser to her people. They would look to her with reverence and invite her into their conversations. The thought of what was possible thrilled her.

  She gripped the railing with both hands and squeezed as hard as she could. “Please, Neasan,” she whispered. “Come to me.”

  “As you wish,” she heard a voice say. And then, a funnel of brilliant green light and whirling wind appeared before her, setting her heart racing. A second later, Neasan stood beside her on the terrace.

  “My love,” she cried and ran to him, throwing her arms around his strong frame. She had never demonstrated the slightest bit of affection toward him, and he was obviously surprised by her action. Yet he returned her embrace.

  “Keeva, my dear, this is so unlike you,” he said after a moment. He pushed her away while keeping her hands in his and looked intently into her face. “Are you okay?” His eyebrows drew closer together, and he cocked his head slightly to the right as if trying to detect some new information. Even in inquisition, a smile was ever ready to break forth across his lips.

  She felt the warm strength of his grip, and it encouraged her to move forward with her declaration. “Oh, Neasan, please forgive me.” She pulled her hands away and turned, considering her next words. “I fear I’ve been such a fool.” She turned back to him and rushed into his arms. She kissed him on his full lips then broke away, breathing more deeply, her cheeks flushed. Keeva looked into his stunned eyes and smiled demurely. “Please don’t think me too bold. But I can no longer help myself. I’ve given this much thought, and I’ve made discoveries about myself I must share with you.”

  She kissed him again until it seemed to take her breath away. He squirmed and tried to separate himself from her, but she was holding tightly and did not want to let go.

  “Wait,” he whispered and gently broke away.

  His face was flushed more crimson than normal, cheeks blending with his handsome sideburns. His breathing, too, was heavy.

  “Keeva, my love, we must talk.” His voice faltered, and he diverted his eyes from her. “Apparently we both have important things to say.”

  “If we must,” she said, his hesitancy confusing her. A flash of apprehension sparked in her gut. Now it was Keeva searching Neasan’s face. “What is it?” she asked softly, her anxious eyes riveted on Neasan’s face.

  “Let us sit,” he said, gently leading her to the stone bench. He sat her down and seated himself beside her, taking both of her hands in his. She looked at their hands entwined in her lap. Something spurred her to begin before she lost her nerve.

  “Neasan,” she said, standing up again. “Before you speak, allow me to explain myself. I burn to do so.”

  “As you wish,” he said, squeezing his eyes tight for a second. “You go first.”

  She took a deep breath to steel her nerves and focus her thoughts. “I have not been honest with you,” she said. “I haven’t been honest with myself. I tell you truly that you have melted my heart, hardened by the warnings of my father and the nature of my birthright. All my life, he spoke to me of the inherent evil of men, and how they could not be trusted. I have resisted your sweet attentions only out of caution. Recently, however, I realized how much I have changed for the better since I’ve known you, and I know you seek no selfish gain from me. I feel different—alive and joyful. I believe in you, and I believe what you’ve been saying to me. Finally.”

  She felt relieved to have spoken these words and exhaled, turning her attention to how they affected Neasan. He stood and put his index finger to her lips.

  “Shh, listen . . .”

  But she grabbed his hand away and held it in her own. She shook her head, as if not allowing it all to come out now would keep it caught deep inside her forever.

  “Please forget that I told you I could never love you. It was a lie. I do love you, my Neasan. I love you deeply and truly. I want you to know.” She threw her hands wide and into the air, spinning gleefully. “I want the whole world to know!”

  Neasan grabbed Keeva’s hand to stop her from spinning. “Keeva, my dear—” he began, but Keeva shook her head again.

  “I know you feel the same way.” She brought his hand to her right cheek, then kissed his palm and closed her eyes to more fully feel his warmth. “You’ve told me so many times, and so many times have I dismissed your feelings. I’m so sorry about that.” She opened her eyes wide and looked straight into his face, her gaze penetrating as deeply into his soul as she could. “And not only have you told me so, but I see it in your eyes when we’re together. I feel it in your touch.” She nestled her lips inside his palm as if to demonstrate.

  “Yes, it’s true, but—”

  “Tell me, Neasan. Tell me you love me.” She looked excitedly at him, grinning like a little child wanting to hear a good story. This was the man she wanted, and she knew it fully in her heart.

  Neasan broke her gaze and looked away. “There is something I must tell you.” He scratched the back of his neck while turning his eyes upward as if thinking about just the right words to use. “Ah, blast it!” he cried. Drawing a deep breath, he turned to her. “My father has discovered that I’ve been seeing you. That I have been secretly coming here to Derfaria. He has forbidden me to continue.” He blurted the words, then he appeared to hold his breath.

  The words didn’t make sense to Keeva at first. She couldn’t process them. But slowly, panic began creeping into her chest. Her brow wrinkled. She peered at him and tried to comprehend.

  “How…” she managed weakly, her mind already racing to figure out what this meant for them.

  “He discovered the missing mirclair,” Neasan admitted dejectedly.

  “Your elixir?” she asked, still unable to piece together the problem.

  “Yes, the red elixir. The green is just for invisibility. But the red elixir, the mirclair, I use to travel to this realm from Panagu. It’s quite rare and costly. One vial of that precious substance takes two hundred years to distill. When my father discovered I had been using it to meet with you, he became angry and said that I was grossly irresponsible, using Panagu’s resources for frivolous personal gain. I told him about you and how wonderful you are and of my love, but he didn’t care. You are Derfarian; I am of Panagu; it was too good to be true. I had to beg and plead with him for enough just to come back to you one last time. I had to let you know.”

  Keeva blinked back tears and felt the heartbroken disappointment wash over her. She bent over slightly, hugging her abdomen, holding in the pain. Her mind was racing.

  “You’re leaving me…forever?” she whispered. Her eyes narrowed, the disbelief knitting her brow tightly. “Just when I open my heart to you?” She realized the sound of her plea sounded pathetic.

  Neasan kneeled upon the flagstones before Keeva. His eyes were moist. “Yes,” he said softly and bowed his head. “I’m afraid I must. It’s not my choice. It’s not what I want, my sweet Keeva.”

  She had a new thought and jumped up to stand over him. “If we cannot have the mirclair, then the answer is simple. You stay here in Derfaria. We spend our lives together here. It would work. We can make it work.”

  “You wish me to abandon my home? To never see my friends or family again?”

  “Yes! Yes! For us. For our lives together.” Keeva was hopeful again. If she could paint the picture well enough, he may agree to it.

  “I cannot do that,” said Neasan, shaking his head. “Panagu is where I belong. Besides…” He stood up and took Keeva’s hand. “You know
as well as I that your father would not allow us to have a life together. He guards you like you’re an infant, and as king of this land, there is no place we could go to be together in peace.”

  “But at least we would be together,” cried Keeva. “Together and on the run is better than not being together at all. We can leave right away. It would be some time before my father realized I had left.” This was Keeva’s last resort, and she heard the surrender in her voice. Already she felt the weight of loneliness.

  “And if we’re caught, I would be put to death,” replied Neasan. “And you, you would simply go back to sitting on your terrace.”

  He spoke the truth. “This terrace, without you in my life, is a fate worse than death,” she murmured, though with little feeling. She sensed her words would change nothing.

  Neasan embraced Keeva and kissed her. “My love for you is real and I wish it could be another way. But without mirclair, you and I cannot be. I will not permanently leave Panagu.”

  “There must be a way,” she whispered. A feeble and pathetic sound.

  Neasan shook his head. “I must go. You will find another.”

  “What do you mean find another?” Keeva cried, suddenly animated. “There will never be another!” Neasan pulled out a vial with a glowing green fluid. She grabbed his hand with both of hers. “Please! Don’t go!”

  Though she held his hand tightly, she was not strong enough to prevent him from tilting the little bottle upside down. A drop of elixir landed on a rune tattooed on his arm just as a metallic scent pricked Keeva’s nostrils. Neasan vanished within a brilliant vortex of green light, leaving her alone on her terrace.

  “Fare thee well,” she heard a voice say, and heard steps walking toward the terrace railing. “Stay,” she called weakly. But there was no reply.

  She collapsed onto the bench. She felt thick, paralyzed. As her mind reluctantly processed what had just happened, a heavy pit of despair rested in her stomach. All her life she had listened to her father and kept her desires hidden away. Now, she had taken a chance and allowed those desires to be out in the open, but for what? To lose the only love she had ever known? And may ever know? It felt cruel.