Need for Speed (The Elite Book 2) Read online

  “You okay?” Solo asked as he placed the bag in the back seat and handed me the drinks. “You look like someone told you that you couldn’t take this baby out for a ride.”

  Forcing my thoughts back in the deep recesses of my mind, I slapped a smile on my face. “I wouldn’t worry about me too much. I’ll just figure out a way to steal the keys.”

  “Ahh, so I’ll be sleeping with them in my pants tonight. Deal.” Solo winked at me as he started up the car, and then he lowered his Aviators and took off out of the parking lot.

  It was a warm day, but the breeze felt amazing as we drove along the coastline toward the cliffs. Even with the aching soreness in my body, it felt good to get out, to feel somewhat back to normal. Staying busy with my parents and now Solo seemed to help, and I welcomed the distraction. Anything to get my mind off the lingering nightmare I’d had last night.

  During my time in the hospital, I hadn’t relived what happened when I had to eject. My mind knew the facts; I knew what others told me, saw the resulting marks on my body…but I hadn’t felt it. I hadn’t let it in. And sometime during the night, all those memories had crashed through my subconscious, only I didn’t get off so easily then. I’d lost oxygen and struggled to breathe; I hadn’t had time to get myself into position before ejecting and felt the warm blood oozing below my waist from an injury I couldn’t see. I felt the terror of falling, the fear of my parachute not working, that I’d hurtle to the ground in a fiery blaze along with the Hornet.

  Just thinking about it had me gasping for breath, and I doubled over, resting my head on the dash as I willed the images to leave my mind.

  “Panther? What’s wrong?” Solo placed his hand on my shoulder, but I couldn’t answer. I was still trying to suck some air into my lungs.

  I felt the car swerve suddenly, or maybe it was just my head, and then everything stopped abruptly and Solo’s hand moved to the back of my neck.

  “Hey, we’re here. We’ve stopped.”

  Slowly, I began to breathe, in through my nose, out through my mouth, all the panic dissipating as I focused on Solo’s touch. When I thought I had things under control again, he helped me sit back, and as he ran his hand over my forehead, I realized I was sweating.

  “I’m okay,” I said, though my shaky voice didn’t sound very convincing, so I cleared my throat and tried again. “Really. I’m okay now.”

  “Uh huh.” Solo popped a straw into one of the drinks and held it up to my lips, and as the cold soda spilled down my throat, I felt relief. “Yeah, you finish this, and then we’re gonna talk about what the hell just happened.”

  10 Solo

  THE COLOR RETURNED to Panther’s face the more he drank, so with a sigh of relief, I sat back and gave him some space.

  Had I said something to trigger a panic attack? It seemed to happen out of nowhere. Maybe it was a mistake to push him into going out, even if it was only a drive.

  Panther set the drink between his legs and leaned back against the headrest, his eyes closing as his breathing seemed to normal out.

  “If this is too much, I can take you back—”

  “No, no, this is good.” He opened his eyes. “I’m good now. Promise.”

  “Okay. Want to talk about it?”

  “Not really, but I know you’re not gonna shut up until I do.”

  I chuckled as I shoved my keys in my pocket and then twisted in my seat to face him. “Glad to see you’re finally getting it.”

  “I got it the first day I met you. You’re relentless.”

  “It worked, though, didn’t it?”

  “I guess so.” He looked away from me to where we were parked at the top of Black Rock Cliffs, the perfect spot to watch the waves crashing into the large rock formations below. But Panther’s eyes weren’t on the beach—they were on the sky. “I dreamed about it last night. The accident. Since I woke up, I haven’t really let it in, you know? I know what happened, I remember most of it, but I didn’t let myself feel it. Does that make sense?”

  “It does.”

  “Only I didn’t fare so well in the dream. I felt like I was going to die.” He rubbed his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut, like he was trying to also shut out the memories. “I was scared. I felt fear for the first time, and…that can’t happen. I can’t second-guess myself up there. I can’t have a fucking panic attack at fifty thousand feet, Solo. If I hesitate, I may as well turn my wings in now.”

  “It won’t go that far—”

  “How do you know? I just freaked out of nowhere. What if I get in the plane and it all comes rushing back? What if I freeze?”

  “That’s a lot of what-ifs there.”

  Panther snorted. “You know me. Always prepared.”

  “Hey.” I grabbed his hand and pulled it onto my thigh. “Don’t overthink this. Yes, you went through something shitty, but it could happen to any of us. You came out of this pretty fucking unscathed, at least physically, so we just need your mind to catch up.”

  “But what if—”

  “Ah uh. No more what ifs. You’re one of the best fighter pilots in the world. The world, Panther. You’re too good and you’ve worked too hard to pussy out now.”

  Panther reared back, his eyes wide. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. Hesitation’s for pussies. Fear? Same thing. And trust me, I’ve been in the sky with you and in bed with you, and you’re not a fucking pussy.”

  Panther chuckled and tried to take his hand back, but I held firm. All the doubt going through his head needed to get the hell out, and if he needed some tough love from me, he’d get it.

  “You’ll get over it,” I said. “It may not seem like it now, but you will.”

  “How?”

  “You just…keep going. You don’t give up, you push harder. You fight through it. You won’t forget, but maybe having lived through it will make you a better pilot.”

  Panther’s eyes fell on mine. “I think I’m starting to understand you a little.”

  “A little is way ahead of the curve.”

  “Because you keep everyone at arm’s length.”

  I interlaced our fingers, and when Panther lowered his eyes to where our hands were joined, I said, “Not everyone.”

  We sat there for a couple of minutes, the only sound the waves crashing against the rocks below. It was a comfortable silence, something I didn’t have with many, and when I saw Panther looking at me, the expression in his eyes made my heart thud a little harder.

  I was usually on the receiving end of an exasperated sigh, or an irritated curse, so the fierce look of approval and admiration in those blue depths made my stomach flip-flop as though it were the first time I was climbing into the cockpit of a jet.

  “What?” I said, when the silence shifted from comfortable to something much more intense—nothing bad, but nothing quite as simple as companionship.

  “Hmm?”

  “You’re looking at me funny.”

  “Am I? And here I thought I was just looking at you.”

  I swallowed, a sudden case of nerves making me feel as anxious as I had on my first date ever, and all because Panther was looking at me as though he were seeing me for the first time.

  Trying to muster up some of that bravado I was so well known for, I scoffed and settled back in my seat. “Oh yeah? And what do you see?”

  Panther grazed his thumb over the top of my knuckles, and holy shit, he might as well have stroked his palm between my legs. Heat infused my body, flames licking along my veins as his eyes roamed over my face and down my neck, then he licked his lips, making me shift in my seat.

  “I see a man I wasn’t looking for. A man I didn’t even know was there, until right now. And Solo?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be than sitting with him in this car right now, holding his hand.”

  11 Panther

  I WASN’T USUALLY one to pour my heart out, so no one was more shocked than I was at what had just fallen off my tongue. Though Solo also looked pretty fucking shocked, staring at me from across the car as though I’d morphed into a complete stranger.

  Hell, maybe I had. But something about this place, the sun shimmering over the water, the food, and Solo sitting there holding my hand had lowered my defenses until I’d been unable to hold back how I was feeling.

  For so long I’d had to squash my impulse to be who I really was at the core of my being. From my career to my private life, everything revolved around what others would think, what others would say if they found out I was hiding integral parts of myself away. But after almost dying, and my father looking me in the eye and telling me for the first time that he’d never been ashamed of who I was, my emotions seemed exposed, and for once in my life, I didn’t want to hide them away.

  “I’ve shocked you into silence. That’s got to be a first.”

  Solo blinked those gorgeous eyes of his and then licked at his lower lip, and if I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought he was nervous. But no, this was Solo—fly by the seat of your pants at a million miles an hour Solo—and nothing made him nervous.

  “I think it might be,” he finally said, and looked down to our joined hands again.

  “Did I make you uncomfortable?”

  Solo shook his head. “No. I just… It’s…”

  I smiled as Solo tried to form a sentence. But when nothing came out and his cheeks flushed—actually fucking flushed—I full-on grinned.

  Nothing made Solo nervous, except, apparently, me. “You don’t want that?”

  “Want what?”

  “Me thinking about how good your hand feels in mine?”

  “Jesus.” Solo rubbed his face. “You’ve done, like, a total one-eighty on me. I guess my, um, brain is trying to cat
ch-up.”

  With my hand firmly wrapped around his, I tugged him across the console and leaned in until my lips ghosted over the top of his. “You don’t mind if I kiss you until it does, do you?”

  “What the hell happened to you up there in that plane?”

  I nipped at his lower lip, and when Solo moaned and opened for me, I whispered, “I realized what’s important.”

  Right there, in an open convertible where anyone could see, I kissed Solo, softly at first, giving him a moment to get his bearings, since I seemed to have blown his mind. Then, as his lips melted into mine, I reached for the back of his neck, holding him right where I wanted him, and when I felt him grasp at the sides of my shirt, I knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

  As I deepened the kiss, I felt the moan escape his throat, and I swallowed it down greedily, wanting to devour every taste and sound he gave me. God, I wanted him. I knew that now, and finally, after a lifetime of denying myself what I truly wanted, I was taking it.

  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had the thought that this was dangerous, that he was fire, and getting too close would get me burned. But when Solo angled his head for more, I pushed those thoughts away. He wasn’t the type to choose to be with someone, but then again, neither was I, or at least I’d never allowed myself that pleasure. So what if we both chose each other? What then?

  I could practically hear Solo telling me to shut up with the what-ifs and kiss me, so I turned my brain off and focused back on the way Solo’s mouth moved so perfectly in sync with mine. I could’ve kissed him for hours, but the sudden honking and whooping of a passing car made us break away.

  Lips swollen and eyes glazed over, Solo had never looked sexier. Well, maybe he had when he was naked, but…

  “Brain caught up yet?” I said, grinning at the dazed look he gave me.

  “Brain…destroyed.”

  I laughed and reached into the back seat for the bag of food, the smell almost as intoxicating as Solo. “How about we take care of a hunger that won’t get us arrested?”

  When I turned back to see Solo still staring at me, I grinned.

  “I have to say, I kind of like being the only person to get this kind of reaction out of you.”

  Seeming to snap himself out of his daze, Solo reached for the bag. “And what kind of reaction is that?”

  “Hmm…you look a little dazed and confused, lieutenant.”

  “That’s an apt description. Throw in ‘hard as a rock’ and you basically have me in a nutshell.”

  My eyes dropped to his lap and the delicious outline of his erection, and he let out a soft groan.

  “Aww, come on… Haven’t you tortured me enough already?”

  “Tortured you?” I raised my eyes to see him placing the bag over his lap.

  “I mean, here you are finally all the fuck over me, and I can’t do shit about it for at least…how many days?”

  I chuckled. “At least a week.”

  His groan was painful, and he shut his eyes and let his head fall back on the seat. “You suck.”

  “I could…if that would help?”

  Solo turned his head and pinned me with an are you kidding me? look. “You enjoying yourself?”

  “More than I expected.” Getting serious, I reached over and trailed my fingers down the side of his cheek. “Thank you for bringing me out here today.”

  Solo took in a shuddering breath, and again I found it interesting that he seemed almost shy, as he nodded and reached up to squeeze my hand, drawing it down between us.

  “Like you said, I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be than sitting in this car, sharing this meal, with a man I never knew I was looking for until today.”

  12 Solo

  THE SOUND OF Panther’s rapid breathing woke me up.

  I turned onto my side toward the bed and looked up to see Panther tossing and turning, a sheen of sweat covering his body. A low moan left him, but before I could even debate whether to wake him from what seemed to be a nightmare, he gasped and shot straight up, his eyes opening wide.

  “Hey.” I kicked off my sheet and moved up on my knees. “Some dream, huh? You okay?”

  Panther nodded as he tried to get his breathing under control. I waited as he took his time, resting his head in his hands, and when he seemed steady again, he said, “This is starting to piss me off.”

  “Two nightmares and a panic attack in twenty-four hours. That would piss me off too.”

  “How do I make it stop?”

  For once, I didn’t have an answer, which would no doubt shock him. “Lobotomy?”

  He looked at me from under his hands. “Really?”

  “I mean, that would do it.”

  “Any other genius ideas?”

  “Yeah. Move over.”

  “What?”

  I stood up and gestured for him to scoot. “Lie down.”

  “Sex isn’t the answer, Solo.”

  Rolling my eyes, I sighed. “You want to make it stop or don’t you?”

  Panther eyed me and then slowly moved to the other side of the bed. I got in beside him, moving to my side and waiting for him to do the same. I pulled the sheet up over us, getting nice and comfy—which wasn’t hard now that I wasn’t sleeping on the floor—and debated where to start.

  “I told you earlier that to get past all the crazy shit you’ve been through, you just have to push harder and keep going. And that’s true, but…” My brother’s face popped into my mind, clear as day. I would’ve given anything to have him back. Anything. Swallowing, I shifted onto my elbow with my head in my hand. “It’s been four years since I lost my brother, and I’d be lying if I said I’m okay.”

  Alarm flitted through Panther’s eyes, but I waved him off.

  “I don’t say that so you feel sorry for me. Please don’t. I say it because I don’t know if you ever get over whatever traumatic stuff you go through. You came out of this alive, but it doesn’t mean your head’s in the right place, and I get that. Seeing you eject brought back all those emotions from when my brother died, and I wasn’t expecting that. I thought I’d bottled that shit up, you know?”

  “That’s how he died, isn’t it? An ejecting malfunction?”

  I nodded. “The canopy didn’t open in time. His head went straight through it. Died on impact.”

  “Jesus. You didn’t see it, did you?”

  “No, we were on opposite sides of the world. But I was there when they brought his casket home, and I think I was in denial until then. Like he wasn’t really dead until I saw it with my own eyes, and…fuck. I lost it.”

  “Lost it?” Panther’s voice was soft in the room, as though he didn’t want to disrupt my train of thought.

  “Yeah. I went from the straight-as-an-arrow little aviator to—”

  “A reckless pain in the ass?”

  I shrugged, knowing that was exactly what most thought of me. “I guess so. What was the point of toeing the line and playing it safe anymore? Parents had died, brother had died too—who was left to care?”

  Panther rolled to his side, his eyes roving over my face as he tucked his pillow under his head. “Do you still feel that way now?”

  “Reckless?”

  Panther raised an eyebrow at my purposeful misdirection.

  “That no one cares.”

  Those piercing blue eyes seemed to bore into mine, searching for the truth, and I knew if I tried to fabricate a lie, he’d see right through it.

  “I think you might.” When Panther said nothing, I added, “Maybe.”

  Panther reached over and fingered the chain around my neck, tracing the length of it until he could hook his finger under the dog tags, which he brushed his thumb over.

  “I didn’t want to.”

  “Care?”

  Panther nodded.

  “So what happened?”

  Panther smiled. “You did.”

  My stomach clenched at those two simple words. Not because they were all that special, but because of the way in which Panther said it, as though he was completely and utterly mesmerized by me.

  I felt fucking invincible.

  “You were annoying, persistent, infuriating to no end, but damn if you didn’t make me sit up and take notice.”

  “Yeah?”