Cleaning is Murder Read online

  Apparently, Josephine attended church in a nearby town. A minister who Myrtle wasn’t in the least acquainted with gave a rambling and rather nasal meditation until it was mercifully over. Josephine occasionally wiped tears away with angry swipes to her face. Gabriel was the lone speaker and delivered an eloquent eulogy in a deep, resonant voice. He spoke of Amos’s love of books and reading and how often he frequented the library to expand his knowledge. There was no mention, perhaps purposefully, of his relationships with family or other people.

  Following the service, Elaine met up with Myrtle as Myrtle spoke briefly to Josephine before Josephine was almost immediately pulled away by someone else.

  “What now?” murmured Elaine. “Back home?”

  This was said in a hopeful voice since Elaine had endured the blazing sun through the entire service and was now perspiring rather profusely.

  “I did want to speak with Gabriel Tharpe,” said Myrtle. “You could wait in the car if you wanted and blast the air conditioning.”

  Elaine raised an eyebrow. “You wanted to speak with him as a person of interest? I may hang around for that. After that eulogy, you’d never guess he could be a suspect in Amos’s death.”

  Gabriel was one of those larger-than-life characters with lots of energy and an outgoing personality. As they approached him, he was speaking jovially to the minister who blinked at his enthusiasm and vitality—especially juxtaposed with the casket behind them. Gabriel’s wife, looking tired, watched Gabriel for a few moments before heading to the parking lot.

  When Gabriel spotted Myrtle and Elaine, he quickly ended his conversation with the somewhat relieved minister and turned his attentions on them.

  “Well, I’ll be. What a treat on such a sad day. My high school English teacher! Miss Myrtle, you know you were always my favorite.” He gathered her into a hug, the type of hug where you fear the recipient might break.

  Myrtle didn’t like it when people assumed she was fragile because she was old. “I know you always had a golden tongue on you,” she said briskly. “I do believe you’re buttering me up, Gabriel.”

  “Never!” he grinned at her. His toothy grin reminded her of the wolf in various fairy tales, Little Red Riding Hood in particular.

  Gabriel said, “And you’ve brought Elaine Clover with you, just to brighten up my day.”

  “Rather, the other way around,” said Myrtle dryly. “Elaine brought me here.”

  She suddenly remembered that Gabriel was an irrepressible flirt. He appeared not to even be aware of what he was doing or prevent himself from doing it. This, as Myrtle recalled, led to all sorts of drama in high school where girls were concerned. She wondered what Gabriel’s wife thought of his flirting.

  Elaine, fortunately, seemed immune. “Nice to see you, Gabriel,” she said.

  Myrtle felt the need to commandeer the conversation and wrestle it back where she’d intended it to go. “You did a fine job with the eulogy. Amos would have been pleased.”

  Gabriel said, “High praise, coming from an English teacher. Thank you. I don’t mind telling you that I sweated over it yesterday. It’s not every day that I need to stand up and talk about my best friend.”

  “You two were very close, weren’t you?” asked Elaine sympathetically. “I know that I saw you both around town a lot together.”

  “We certainly were. And now I’m not sure who I’ll end up seeing movies and plays with.” Gabriel looked as pitiful as he could look, probably hoping that Elaine would offer to somehow fill the gap.

  Myrtle said with a degree of asperity, “Your wife, presumably.”

  Gabriel grinned at her. “Jenny isn’t one for going out much.”

  Myrtle switched gears. “Was it such a shock when you heard the news?”

  “It was,” said Gabriel solemnly. “I’d been working at the garage the entire morning, trying to get caught up on paperwork and motivate my mechanics to work faster. Honestly, I was beginning to think that I would have to pick up a wrench and start helping them. Anyway, that’s when I heard the news ... one of my customers let me know. I left the garage immediately and took the rest of the day off. That’s how shaken up I was.”

  Myrtle carefully said, “I know that my housekeeper, Puddin, was dreadfully upset by Amos’s death because her last words to him weren’t kind. Although, from what I’ve heard, Amos was a prickly old fellow sometimes. Were you both on good terms when he passed?”

  Gabriel had a calculating look in his eye as he studied his former teacher. “We were the very best of friends, Miss Myrtle. Maybe there was an unkind word between us now and then, but even siblings fight, don’t they? I was devastated. And everyone I know was upset just as much. Amos could be prickly, but he was still my friend. I’ll admit that we had a tiff over something silly lately, but it was nothing that affected our relationship.”

  “A tiff?” asked Myrtle.

  “Oh, something minor. We made an informal bet on the Belmont horse race. I didn’t even think we were serious about it until Amos tried to make me pay up. I told him I’d only been joking and that I didn’t have two hundred dollars to bet on horses. He stormed off and was mad about that for a while. But we were still the best of friends,” said Gabriel.

  Myrtle said, “Someone is covering up something. Because we all know that somebody was upset with Amos. Upset enough to murder him. I’d like to find out who that person was.”

  Gabriel raised his dark eyebrows and gave a delighted laugh. He turned to Elaine. “We have a Miss Marple on our hands.”

  “Miss Marple was a mere child,” said Myrtle with a sniff. “I have more years of experience. Besides, I’m an investigative reporter for the newspaper. It’s my job to get to the bottom of things and report on them.”

  “Then allow me to help you out,” said Gabriel with a courteous bow of his head. “If I had to pick anyone who might be behind Amos’s tragic death, I’d pick Philomena, our modest town librarian. Or perhaps her brother, who operates as her protector.”

  “And why do you think Philomena or her brother might be responsible?” asked Myrtle.

  Gabriel grinned at her. “That’s because Amos was a scoundrel. Not, naturally, something that I’d put in my eulogy in front of mourners, but let’s face it. He had the morals of an alley cat when it came to women and he couldn’t be faithful to save his life. He hadn’t even broken up with Alice when he started seeing Philomena. Then he was supposed to be dating Philomena when he dated Alice again!”

  Elaine shook her head. “He does sound like a scoundrel. Weren’t both women furious with him?”

  “They were, but they’re both here today at his funeral. I tell you, Amos had a magical effect on women. They were furious at Amos, but you’d never guess it today. They’re at his graveside wearing black and shedding tears,” said Gabriel.

  Myrtle said, “And Philomena’s brother? It sounds as though Steven Fant wasn’t too pleased about his sister being two-timed by Amos.”

  “He sure wasn’t. Steven gave Amos a piece of his mind and a black eye not long ago and told him to stay away from his sister,” said Gabriel.

  “And you think he could have come by his house and murdered him?” asked Myrtle. She tilted her head to one side thoughtfully. “It seems odd, doesn’t it? Weren’t Amos and Alice back together? It’s not as though Amos was bothering Philomena. He only broke up with her,” said Myrtle.

  Gabriel gave an expressive shrug. “Who knows? Maybe the more he thought about his sister getting dumped, the angrier he got. All I know is that Steven had already shown that he could be violent. I don’t know who else might have done it. Anyway, I see that your son is on the case, so the bad guy will be in cuffs at any point now.” He gave a lazy nod to indicate Red, who was looking their way with narrowed eyes. “I should go speak to Josephine. Good seeing you ladies.” He gave that charming grin again and loped away.

  Myrtle said, “I suppose I should have realized that Red would be here, but I didn’t. I suppose I could have caught a
ride with him.”

  Elaine said, “He was hoping to make it, but wasn’t sure he could. Plus, he didn’t go straight from the house. I’m glad he’s here because I packed a lunch for him today and he forgot to grab it before he left. I put it in the car for him in case he made it here.”

  Myrtle hid a smile.

  Red walked up a few minutes later and Elaine said, “How are things going?”

  “Oh, we’re making progress. Slowly but surely,” said Red.

  “I’m so glad I caught up with you, Red. I have your lunch in my car. I can hand it to you before we go,” said Elaine.

  Red flinched. “Thanks, Elaine. I guess I must have forgotten it this morning. Too much on my mind.”

  “Myrtle, are you ready to go?” asked Elaine.

  Red said with alacrity, “How about if I take Mama home so you can run errands before you pick up Jack at his playdate? I thought I remembered that you have a few things you need to shop for.”

  Elaine said, “Are you sure? I thought you had a jampacked day today.”

  “I do, but I always have time to spend a few minutes with my mother,” Red turned to Myrtle with a pleading smile.

  Myrtle paused for effect for a moment, savoring the feeling of control over the situation. “Actually, that would be lovely. And I had a little chore that I needed Red to take care of, if he has five minutes to spare.”

  Red blurted, “I’m sure I can spare the time. And I’m done here, if you’re ready to go now.”

  Minutes later, Myrtle was climbing into the front seat of Red’s police cruiser.

  Chapter Twelve

  “IT’S NICE THAT YOU’RE so eager to spend time with your mother,” said Myrtle tartly.

  Red said, “You have no idea what sort of fate awaited me in that lunch box. We’ll have to dump it out at your house. Probably double-bag it before putting it in the trashcan.”

  “It couldn’t be that bad. Besides, it’s healthy. Elaine is looking out for you, you know.”

  “Looking to kill me, you mean,” said Red morosely. He gave his mother a sideways look as he drove rapidly toward her house. “Why were you and Elaine talking to Gabriel Tharpe? Y’all are hardly friends.”

  “But I do know him. And I thought he gave an excellent eulogy today, and I wanted to commend him on it. I taught him years ago, remember?” said Myrtle.

  “Years and years ago, yes. I though you said he was a horrible student. He certainly wasn’t one of your favorites, at any rate,” said Red.

  “No, my favorites were the students who actually did their homework and tried hard on the tests. Gabriel didn’t exactly fit the bill. What frustrated me the most about him was that he was such a bright boy. A bright boy who wasn’t making the most of his gifts,” said Myrtle.

  “I suppose he thought he didn’t really need to use his gifts if he was inheriting his father’s automotive garage. Which is exactly what happened,” said Red. He looked at his mother again. “You know that Gabriel and Amos were good friends.”

  “Well, naturally. That’s why he gave the eulogy,” said Myrtle. She didn’t offer anything else and fortunately Red didn’t ask. Conversations about Myrtle’s sleuthing usually ended up with Red making a reference to Greener Pastures retirement home. And Myrtle already had all of her gnomes pulled out.

  The sight of the gnomes made Red clench his jaw as he pulled up into Myrtle’s driveway. But he must have been ravenous indeed since he didn’t say a word about them.

  “You’ll be glad to hear that Miles took me to the grocery store,” said Myrtle. “Café Mama is now completely stocked with chips and sandwich meats and bread. Oh, and I picked up that pimento cheese that you always say you like.”

  “Thanks, Mama.” Red actually sounded grateful. “And what fictitious chores are you having me work on, since that’s our excuse? Just in case Elaine asks.”

  “How about unclogging my sink?” asked Myrtle.

  “Perfect.”

  “No, really, how about unclogging it? It’s not draining very quickly and I could use a hand with it. Maybe while I make you a sandwich?” asked Myrtle.

  Red gave a resigned nod.

  While Red was unscrewing the pipes under her kitchen sink, Myrtle said, “Now about this case. You couldn’t possibly really suspect Puddin, could you?”

  “Why couldn’t I? People do unusual things under stress. Maybe Puddin’s way of handling the stress she felt was to take it out on Amos.” Red’s voice was muffled from inside the cabinetry.

  “What stress are we talking about? The stress of inventing excuses to get out of work? The stress of showing up on time? Because I really don’t find Puddin’s life remarkably stressful.” Myrtle slathered mayonnaise on a couple of slices of bread. She sighed as she spilled mayo on her new top and pants.

  “You know—the stress of asking Amos for money. Puddin clearly had a one-track mind when it came to getting her money. He wasn’t providing payment, she became upset, she hit him over the head with a convenient cleaning solution bottle,” said Red. He paused. “Do you have a small bucket that I can hold under this pipe when it opens up?”

  Myrtle rummaged under another cabinet for a plastic container and handed it to him.

  “That doesn’t change the fact that you’re talking about Puddin. Violence is not in Puddin’s nature. To be violent, you need energy and aggression.” Myrtle added shaved ham to the sandwich and then opened a bag of chips.

  “Puddin is like everyone else. Pressure can make people do things out of character,” said Red.

  “But Puddin’s way of responding to pressure is to take a nap in front of a game show. Which is likely what she was doing until she discovered Amos’s body,” said Myrtle.

  Red carefully backed out of the cabinet and dumped the clog into the kitchen trashcan. “I don’t know what to tell you, Mama. I certainly don’t think that Puddin is a killer, but I still have to treat her like any other person of interest in this case. Puddin doesn’t exactly hide her feelings, and she told me her opinion of Amos. It wasn’t very good. I can’t ignore that information.”

  “Well surely you’re taking more of a look at someone like Gabriel,” said Myrtle.

  Red said, “And you were just saying how fond you were of him.”

  “I enjoyed talking to him, but I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. There’s something he’s hiding. I kept hearing about that he and Amos had some sort of a split,” said Myrtle.

  Red was back under the sink again, putting the pipes back together. “That was probably simply the nature of their relationship, Mama. An on-again, off-again friendship.”

  “Or maybe it wasn’t all that simple. Perhaps their problem was that it was more than a tiff, that it was something darker and more serious.” Myrtle paused, trying to make her silence seem ominous. Perhaps Red wouldn’t think that she was fishing for information. Perhaps he’d think that she already had it.

  Fortunately, Red suspected the latter. He came back out from under the sink, washed his hands, and dried them off. Then he sat down across from his mother at the kitchen table. “All right. It sounds as if you’ve been sleuthing again.”

  “One doesn’t have to sleuth to get information in this town. It’s everywhere. It would be nearly impossible to avoid it most of the time,” said Myrtle with a sniff. She waited.

  Red took such a large bite from his sandwich that he pretty much devoured half of it in one bite. After swallowing and washing it down with some sweet tea he said, “So the town gossips know about Gabriel’s indiscretion, is that it?”

  Myrtle tried to keep her face completely neutral, despite the fact that she was hearing this news for the first time. “Naturally.”

  “Then why on earth did Amos think he could get away with blackmailing Gabriel?” asked Red, shaking his head. “That was stupid. And I think Amos was anything but stupid. The man had more books in his house than the Bradley library does.”

  “Well, sometimes even the smartest people can have stupid ideas,�
�� said Myrtle. “And Amos didn’t seem to have normal attitudes about money.”

  “In what way?” asked Red, raising his eyebrows.

  Myrtle smiled smugly. Apparently, she was ahead of Red’s investigation. But, since he’d inadvertently shared some helpful information with her, she could do the same with him ... on a very small scale.

  “He lived the life of a miser. Amos had plenty of money but hated parting with it. He was incredibly cheap in almost every way. He had his poor daughter cleaning his house for free and he didn’t pay for his dates when they went out. It stands to reason that someone with this type of mentality might also be looking for ways to add to his money pile. Blackmail would be a relatively easy way of doing so,” said Myrtle.

  She saw that Red had already finished his sandwich and was halfway through the large bag of potato chips. She decided that she should make another sandwich or two for him or else she wouldn’t have any chips left for later.

  Red said, “I guess that makes sense, in a sort of twisted way.”

  “And clearly, Gabriel wouldn’t want his wife to find out that he was having an affair. Although I don’t think his wife would have been all that surprised. He’s a natural flirt.” She quickly made another sandwich and slid it over in front of Red.

  “Is he?” asked Red.

  “He acts like he can’t even stop himself. But flirting is something completely different from actually having an affair,” said Myrtle. She immediately started making a third sandwich.

  Red said, “Gabriel would have felt he needed to keep his wife from finding out. But he isn’t exactly loaded.”

  Myrtle put the third sandwich in front of him right as he finished the second. “I’d imagine he makes a decent income as owner of a garage, but I don’t think he’s sitting on a fortune as Amos apparently was. Maybe he was tempted to solve the problem by getting rid of his blackmailer.”

  “That’s mere conjecture. And if people are saying that around town, I’d be sure to remind them of that fact.” Red stood up and put his plate and glass in the dishwasher. “Okay, well, thanks, Mama.”