Sinister (Raiders of Valhalla MC Book 2) Read online

To: Charm

  I can’t make it today. I’m sorry.

  I click send, and the moment I do, it’s read, and the three little dots are appearing. I tap the button on the side to get the screen to go dark, and sure enough, it lights up. She’s already messaged me back.

  I swipe the phone up and click Spotify, tap on Lennon Stella and listen to the song that feels like it was made for me. “Older Than I Am” is my most listened-to song. The lyrics in it have a way of speaking to your soul. I know it has for me. It’s the song you can cry and sing from the rooftops to.

  My doorbell rings, and I turn. I’m not expecting anyone, so I turn my music off and walk downstairs. Once I’m on the main floor, I head to the door, and through the glass, I spot a familiar redhead. I debate retreating, but the way she’s shaking her hand in front of the glass tells me I better not. “I see you, so don’t you dare think you can skedaddle to wherever it is you’re going.”

  Sighing in defeat, I walk forward and unlock the front door. She pushes it open and glares at me as if I’ve betrayed her in the worst of ways. “What the hell is going on with you? We have plans, Fern. I don’t just get to go out whenever I feel like it anymore. I have responsibilities, I have—”

  “You have kids, I know. I get it,” I grit, frustrated beyond belief with her. She has the one thing I wish I could have. The one thing I almost had until my malformed uterus killed the child I ached for. I have a tilted uterus, and during my second trimester, my baby girl became trapped between my pelvic bone. The doctors assured me it was rare for it to happen in such a way, and many women with tilted uteruses have normal births. I didn’t care. It didn’t matter to me. I’d just left my shitbag of a boyfriend, and having another baby wasn’t an option for me. Not after the pain I experienced. It was too much to bear.

  I scheduled sterilization shortly after. I knew I never wanted to go through the same thing ever again. I fell in love with my child, cared about my little girl more than anything else, and my entire world crumbled when the doctor told me there wasn’t a heartbeat. At twenty, I had my tubes tied and I don’t regret it. Not if there’s the risk of loss again. It’s not worth it. I barely survived losing her, and I won’t ever be able to lose another. At least now I won’t have to.

  “What the hell, Fern? What’s with the attitude? I asked Fenrir to watch the kids so we could have a girls’ day, and you cancel on me super last minute. Like, really?”

  “What do you want me to say, huh? I don’t feel like going out. I don’t feel like walking out there and having people look at me, having kids call me a freak or the stares from the judgmental old ladies. I can’t handle it today!” I scream, tears welling behind my eyes. As much as I love Charm, she won’t ever understand the struggles I go through every day.

  “I get you’re going through a lot. Trust me, I do, but at some point, you have to leave your house. You can’t hide in here forever, Fern. Life doesn’t work that way.”

  “Life works in whatever way I want it to,” I snap, staring daggers at my best friend.

  Charm scoffs and stares at me in shock with her mouth open. “I love you, but I won’t stand around and watch you slowly kill yourself. Take the fucking day, Fern, but next time I’m not going to walk out this damn door,” Charm hisses at me, turns, and walks straight out of my house.

  On her way out, she slams my front door, and the impact of what happened seconds ago hits me. Tears come rolling down my cheeks and my knees buckle. I hit the floor and wrap my arms around myself. I’m anything but okay. In fact, I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay again.

  My heart hurts.

  My body hurts.

  My soul hurts.

  Every part of me hurts, and no one understands the pain I live with every day. No one understands what this is like.

  Chapter Three

  Runes

  After getting off the phone with my lawyer about the situation going on with my son, I find myself in a foul mood and need to go for a ride. Being inside right now isn’t something I can handle. Not after the way the conversation went.

  The judge granted me temporary full custody, which should be a win, but it isn’t. My lawyer informed me this is only a stepping stone, how it’s only temporary while we deal with all the bullshit going on with Tor’s mother. Our main priority right now is keepin’ him from his mother’s grasp.

  Tor didn’t want to have to talk about what he endured by his mother’s hand, so we have to do this a different way. It means I get to deal with the headache of making sure he stays with me.

  The lawyer told me most judges will stick the child with their mother right off the bat, but they look at the circumstances of each side of the household. And although the judge will take Tor’s decision into consideration, they like for the parents to have a stable home.

  So, of course, what the hell do I tell him?

  I said I’d prove to the courts I have a stable home for Tor to live in. What I didn’t think about was how I was gonna do this shit. But when push comes to shove, he’s my kid. Fuck, he’s my son, and no matter what I have to do, I’ll make sure he’s with me. Even if I have to find a woman to marry, I will. I won’t let my son go back to the bitch for even a split second. I’ll die before it happens.

  Hillary didn’t take too kindly to the fact our son isn’t coming home. She threw a fit, drove all the way down here from Georgia. Tor was at Fenrir’s house at the time, and I knew if I saw her, I’d do something I might end up regretting.

  Granted, I wouldn’t ever regret killing the whore, but for Tor, I gotta do this by the book. I fuck up and end up going to prison, that leaves him vulnerable. It doesn’t matter he’s seventeen. In the court of law, it’s up to the judge to decide. Until he’s eighteen, what he wants doesn’t matter. The judge might not even fuckin’ listen to him now.

  “Fenrir, you should’ve heard her.” Charm’s voice hits my ears as I walk into the main room of the clubhouse. I’m headin’ in from the hall leading toward the rooms. I glance in the direction her voice came from to see her sitting with my VP at the bar. She looks really upset, which isn’t normal for her. She’s one of the strongest women I know.

  “You know this is difficult for her. I’ll go talk to her if you want me to,” Fenrir mutters.

  They must be talking about Fern, Charm’s best friend. She was caught in a fire nearly three months ago. My brothers and I have our suspicions about who could’ve started the fire, but we don’t have enough proof to confirm who’s responsible.

  Fern ended up being burned on her left side. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her, but at the hospital, they looked bad. They went from her cheek down her neck, and she had her arm burned pretty bad too. Fuck, the night I found her in the parkin’ lot, I tried to touch her and, well, fuck. The way she screamed will forever be burned into my memory. According to Charm, the burns go down to Fern’s knee.

  The club took a liking to Fern when we first met her and Charm. And when the girls’ spa had been burned down, my brothers and I decided to help them out. We got the building repaired. The only good thing to happen the day of the fire is how quickly the fire department diffused the situation. They were able to get it out in under two hours, and somehow the entire building wasn’t a complete tear-down. By the time Fern was released from the hospital, we had the place fixed up to the point they could redesign the spa how they wanted it. I didn’t have to help ‘em out, but it felt right.

  Charm moved Fern into her house when she moved in next door to Fenrir’s. From what I know, it’s been working out, but I’m guessing from the sound of how upset Charm is, something’s happened. From the sounds of it, Fern isn’t letting anyone help her. I understand it to a point, but Fern needs to get out of the house. She needs to have a purpose, a reason to leave. If she doesn’t get outta there, depression will take over her.

  “No, I’ll figure something out to get her to open up,” Charm mutters, shaking her head.

  “Want me to go over and talk to her?” I offer b
efore I can stop myself. I gotta admit, I’m worried about her too.

  Fern’s not just Charm’s friend, she’s all of ours. I don’t only want to help because she’s important to the club. Before the shit hit the fan, Fern and I locked lips a bit. I sure as fuck thought we’d seal the deal, but shit kept happenin’ at the worst times. We never went further than heavy petting, and one time we had some intense foreplay. Fuck, her lips wrapped around my cock like a damn vacuum. I swear the world is out to cock block me.

  “What?” Charm asks, startled to find me standing here.

  “Want me to talk to Fern? I’m heading out anyway. You guys have your hands full with the kids. I can do it if you want.” I shrug, actin’ like this isn’t a big fuckin’ deal.

  “What about Tor?” Fenrir grumbles. He’s the only one I’ve confided in on what my son’s been through.

  “He’s good,” I mutter, nodding in the direction of the rooms. “Says he plans to chill in his room, playin’ Call of Duty with a few of his friends.”

  Nodding, Fenrir furrows his brows. I shake my head to let him know I’m not talkin’ about it right now. We both know Tor’s not good.

  “If you don’t mind going and talking to Fern, that would be great,” Charm says, bringing both my and Fenrir’s attention back to her.

  “Alright, I’ll head that way,” I state, leavin’ the two of them to talk.

  Stalking to the door, I reach up, grab my sunglasses from the collar of my shirt and slide them into place. I push through the front doors into the bright sun. I have to give Florida one thing, and that’s the fact the weather is unpredictable. When it’s sunny, the sunbeams hit you with force lettin’ you know it’s there.

  I get to my bike, swing a leg over to straddle my girl. Straightening the bike, I kick up the kickstand and fire her up. She comes to life with a rumble. I back up from where I park at the clubhouse and point my bike in the direction of the road. Hitting the throttle, I lift my feet to the footpegs.

  My mind swirls with thoughts of Fern and what the lawyer told me. A plan comes to mind, and I grin, hoping it all works out. We have court in a few weeks, and I need to be able to show them I have the stable home I promised them. No matter what, I have to convince them I’m nowhere near as bad as the sinister ass bitch who gave birth to my son.

  Chapter Four

  Fern

  A knock on my door causes me to go back downstairs. I grumble under my breath and pray it’s not Charm. I need time to be by myself. The last thing I want to do is go out right now. Not when I feel so down. Sometimes I pray she’ll understand why I feel the way I do, but the fact of the matter is she won’t. No one would be able to unless they were in my position, which means I’m shit out of luck.

  I get to the bottom of the stairwell and spot a large, muscular frame on the other side. Instantly, I freeze, worried it’s him. I haven’t seen him in years, but he’ll forever haunt my nights, and I’ll constantly be looking over my shoulder. Even this many years later, I’m still paranoid he’s right around the corner.

  “Fern, I can fuckin’ see you. Open the damn door.” Runes’s deep-throated growl makes me take a breath. I go to the door, unlock it, and open it for him.

  “Sorry, I thought you were someone else,” I murmur, sure to shield my face away from him. We’ve seen each other a few times since the day of the fire, but I never stick around long enough for him to get a good look at me. I don’t want him seeing what I see.

  Runes grabs onto my left hand and forces me to turn. He looks me up and down, causing goosebumps to form all over my skin. It feels odd for him to be staring at me like this. It makes me feel like I’m a freak show, and he’s paying to look at an exhibit in the circus. Sure enough, he runs his fingers over my forearm, where I’m scarred for life. “When’s the last time you moisturized? Your skin’s dry.” His tone is condescending as hell and only serves to make me angry.

  I yank my hand away and glare at him. “I don’t know why you’re asking, since it’s none of your business.” I cross my arms and try to cover myself up, but I’m in a tank top and yoga pants. He can see my entire left arm where I’ve been marred.

  “It’s not hard to tell, is it?” His words don’t make any sense to me.

  “What?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.

  “That I give a damn about you, which is why I’m askin’. Fuck. All the articles I’ve read have said to moisturize after burns as bad as yours. If you don’t, it can slow down the healin’ process and cause skin tears and blisters.” What in the world? He’s researched this? I mean, obviously, he has since he just said what he did.

  “Why are you reading articles, Runes?” I’m taken aback by his words, not understanding why he’d even go this far into it. It’s not like I’m his woman or anything. Before I became a malformed monster, he and I kissed a couple times, and one time we went down on each other, but it never progressed more than that. It’s not because I didn’t want to, because I did. Hell, I still do, but I don’t have a chance with him. Not anymore. He’s so handsome with his big muscles and tattoos, and he wears a silver chain around his neck with a wolf head made of obsidian. Fuck, he even has a thick beard. A beard that felt so good brushing against my lower lips when he drove his tongue into my entrance. God, why am I even doing this to myself? He’s so far out of my league now.

  He scoffs and shakes his head, shutting the door to my house. He heads in front of me and paces the hallway. Silence passes us by for a couple minutes, so I speak up again. “Are you just going to walk around like a broody man or what?”

  “I seem to remember you liked my broodiness,” he grunts, staring directly at me.

  I swallow hard and clear my throat. He’s calling me out. “I don’t remember saying I didn’t like it,” I quip. I hate nothing more than when people put words in my mouth.

  A sinister smirk pulls at his lips, and I get a flash at his pearly whites. “Exactly what I thought. Anyway, I didn’t come here to talk about the way you sucked my cock, sweet thing. It’s time you and I have a talk, though, ‘bout some serious matters.”

  I furrow my brows because, from the sound of his voice, this is concerning. “Okay,” I murmur.

  “Come on, let’s sit down for this,” Runes says. Waving his hand, he walks into my living room like he owns the joint. He goes to the couch, pops a squat, and pats the seat for me to sit beside him. I do, pull my legs up, and turn to face him.

  “What’s this about? It’s like you’re going to tell me someone died or something.”

  Runes chortles and shakes his head. “No. No one died, but people who love you are gettin’ worried, sweetheart.”

  Instantly, my stomach drops and I grow with rage. Charm fucking talked to him. I know she did. “I’m allowed to ask for personal space, Runes. I’m allowed to have bad days. I’m allowed to honor my feelings.” Everything I’m saying is true, and he knows it.

  “Yeah, and I’m not sayin’ you’re wrong, but you can’t be holed up in this house forever. When’s the last time you’ve stopped by the club, huh? When’s the last time you went shoppin’ with Charm? You two had a girls’ day planned, right? But here you are, obviously not out with her.”

  “Everyone moves at their own pace. There isn’t some golden rulebook I have to follow after what happened, and I don’t appreciate you coming in here all high and mighty, talking to me like I’m a child. I’m not someone you can berate into doing what you want. I’m not one of your fucking club members or a clubwhore. You got it?”

  I don’t know what it is, but something shoots across Runes’s face, and I suck in a breath. He nods. “Yeah, you’re right, aren’t ya? I mean, fuck, here I came to ask you if you’d be my fuckin’ wife.” He rises from the couch and his veins are protruding from his arms. He’s furious, and it’s obvious as hell.

  “You’re joking.” I burst out into laughter, knowing he can’t be serious. There’s no way. Who would want to marry me now? And why would he want to marry me to begin with? I know I�
�m good at sucking dick, but I’m not that good. At least, I don’t think I am.

  He whips around and looks right at me. If the man could breathe fire, he’d be doing it right now. “Why the fuck are you so shitty to yourself? Is it ‘cause of the fire? Huh? ‘Cause, this shit is just physical, alright? It doesn’t affect what’s in here.” he hollers, pointing to his heart area.

  I breathe in slowly and wait for him to say something else. Still, I don’t understand why he’s so kind to me. I don’t understand how he can see past the burns, not when others only focus on them. I don’t understand Runes, but moments like this make me want to.

  Chapter Five

  Runes

  “You’re joking.” Fern’s words swirl around in my head like a merry-go-round. The insufferable woman laughed like I’d seriously joke about her marrying me. I still don’t see the humor in it, considering I need her to do this for me.

  Not only for me, for my son. For Tor. And honestly for herself.

  I thought about it the entire way over here. Charm’s words combined with seeing Fern pushing everyone away for myself. Fern isn’t taking care of herself like she should be. She’s barely taking care of herself physically, it’s obvious as hell, and don’t even get me started about her lack of self-care. Mentally, she’s been neglecting herself for weeks now.

  I’ve read multiple articles and books on it because Fern means something to me. I don’t know what that something is right now, but I have faith I will one day. Before the fire, I would’ve had her in my bed by now. Only, we took a hellacious step back, and she put one hell of a wall up. I’m gonna have to scale it if I’m even gonna attempt to get closer to her.

  By having Fern marry me, she’ll be helping me, but it’s a win-win for both of us. I’ll help her find her way back to life once again. I’ll get her to the point where she’ll be leaving and enjoying life, one where she laughs with her friends and goes out for girls’ nights when she promises to. She’ll no longer be afraid to step foot out the door.