Running Elk Read online

  Alexandria found him standing by the river, looking out at the horizon. It appeared the warrior was deep in his thoughts as she cautiously moved towards him. Alexandria stood beside him and waited for him to acknowledge her presence. He seemed to not notice her.

  Alexandria knew she needed to say something but had no idea how to start another conversation. The only movement the man was making, other than breathing, was the steady clenching and unclenching of his jaw. Instead of speaking, she decided to just stand beside him and wait for him to either speak or move.

  Almost immediately after reaching her decision, the warrior made a grumbling noise and began walking away before turning back to her.

  “If you are so sickened by my touch then you should be somewhere else.”

  The words sent renewed fear coursing through her veins. “Where?” she asked, not wanting to hear his answer.

  “Why should I care? I will see to it. Wait in my tipi.”

  “Standing Bear, please do not do this. I will try to be good to you. I promise,” she pleaded as she moved towards him and reached for his arm.

  It was the first time she initiated contact with the warrior and when she realized what she had done, she pulled her hand back.

  “You want me now? Is this change in your attitude only to save the child?” Standing Bear asked angrily.

  Alexandria had convinced herself that Standing Bear would not hurt her child, but she couldn’t be sure other warriors wouldn’t. It was a terrifying realization, but she knew sharing her thoughts wouldn’t help with her situation. Instead of saying it outright, she chose her words as carefully as her panicked brain would allow.

  “It doesn’t matter why. Does it? I am willing to try my best. Abigail says you care for me. If that is true, please, take me as I am.”

  The warrior looked at her for a moment, but his expression stayed the same. “Go back to the tipi. I will return later,” Standing Bear directed, leaving her with no idea what his decision would be.

  Alexandria walked back to Standing Bear’s tipi, full of worry and regret. If she had just kept her true thoughts to herself, their reunion would have gone smoother, but she hadn’t, so she was stuck pacing back and forth until she was too tired to continue. Her body was telling her she needed to rest, even if her brain was full of questions and concerns. After convincing herself that, no matter what happened, she needed rest, she took off her clothes, covered herself with the furs, and fell into a fitful sleep.

  ***

  Standing Bear stayed outside and watched as the stars began to shine. The news the woman had hit him with was something he’d never considered. He was well aware Alax had said she felt love for the Comanche but hadn’t considered the two could have lain together. The information was difficult to digest. He knew raising the child as his own would be easy enough, but only if Alax was willing to be his. He was also aware of the importance that no one know the child wasn’t his. Living a lie in order to keep the woman who ate at his heart and invaded his soul was something he was surprisingly willing to do.

  The depths he was prepared to go for the white woman surprised him.

  After arriving at his decision, he returned to his tipi in the hopes that the two could conclude their conversation. As soon as he returned, he saw Alax was asleep and the fire was dying. The nights were beginning to get colder, and he was pleased there were enough robes to keep her warm. The woman had dealt with numerous changes in a few short months. He knew she was not used to being out in the elements. If knowing Abigail had taught him anything, it was that white women sometimes struggled with the Indian way of life. Even after accepting the woman was not truly his, he knew he would do anything in his power to keep her comfortable. Keeping his distance was difficult, but after stirring the embers to allow some extra heat to flow, he grabbed an old blanket and lay by the fire.

  Before falling asleep, he heard the woman stir. Standing Bear looked in her direction and saw that when she’d moved, she had revealed her bare shoulder. Desire gripped Standing Bear when he realized she was naked underneath the robes. He fought the overpowering need to go to her, thinking if he did, he would be left unsatisfied. That outcome being a probability still didn’t stop him from kneeling beside her and pulling the robes back up to cover her exposed shoulder. As soon as his hand touched her, her eyes opened. Standing Bear stopped moving while the woman blinked several times before smiling at him.

  He returned a weak smile, knowing her reaction meant she wasn’t fully awake. The warrior wasn’t proud of himself but quickly found he couldn’t stop from taking advantage of the situation. Knowing the woman would be fully awake soon enough, he stood and disrobed before lying beside her. She had closed her eyes and returned to a state of sleep when he gently ran his hand down her face. Her breathing changed and she once again opened her eyes when he moved the hair from her face.

  He knew it wasn’t the best situation to put her in, but he was desperate with need, and he couldn’t force himself to leave her.

  “If you can do this … if we can be together, then you can stay. I am sorry, but it has to be this way,” he said gently as he caressed the length of her arm underneath the covers.

  Chapter Twenty

  Alexandria didn’t say a word. It was as if the lump that had formed in her throat wouldn’t allow her to speak. The man had snuck into her bed while she was sleeping. Her mind desperately held to the thought that he was unbelievable. But her mind wasn’t in charge; her body was. It had been too long since she’d been touched in tenderness.

  His strong hands gently caressed her breasts before he moved down and took her nipple in his mouth. Her back arched as she pushed into him.

  “I want to see you,” he said hoarsely as he gently held her chin.

  Alexandria could see the relief and gratitude cross his handsome face when he realized she wasn’t going to fight him.

  “It will not be so bad, I promise,” he spoke before taking her mouth with his.

  Her arms moved slowly, almost mechanically, but she was embracing him, even dragging her nails down his spine.

  Standing Bear moved from her mouth to her neck, covering her with kisses. Without her brain’s consent, her body took over. She pulled his hair and moaned. Her actions excited him more.

  ***

  He gently rolled her over before looking at her breathtaking face. She was even more beautiful when her eyelids were heavy. While looking her in the eye, he traced her stomach with his finger, stopping at the opening of her thighs. He wanted to be easy with her. But more than anything, he wanted her to beg him to make love to her.

  While he was cautiously parting her legs, she was digging her nails in his back. He leisurely moved his hand back to her breast.

  Her hands grasped the sides of his face, “Don’t stop,” she whispered, looking him in the eyes.

  She looked confused by her plea, but the last thing Standing Bear wanted to do was ask why.

  “You don’t know how long I have longed to be with you. You will be mine,” he said as he trailed kisses down her stomach.

  Alexandria wiggled underneath him, driving his need to new heights.

  As he shifted his weight, his knee moved to open her legs. He entered her slowly and gently, not wanting to hurt her. He wanted her to enjoy the experience as much as he was.

  Standing Bear had been with his share of women but never had he wanted one so desperately. He moved slowly as he developed a rhythm. Alax moved with him until she began making noises that sounded like heaven to him.

  Afterwards, she rested silently in his arms while he ran his fingers through her beautiful yellow hair.

  She hadn’t run away or broken out in tears after making love, and he knew she’d enjoyed the act, but he still had doubts.

  Standing Bear did not want to say anything that might ruin the experience, but his pride wouldn’t allow the question to go unanswered. “Were you thinking of him or me?”

  She lifted her head from his chest and pulled aw
ay from his embrace. As soon as she was aware of her nakedness, she pulled the fur up to cover herself.

  He thought he saw a tear fall down her cheek before she answered him. “As badly as I wanted to fight it, my body is yours.”

  He smiled, pulled her down against him, and gently laid his hand on her stomach. The woman hadn’t given him her heart, but he was overjoyed hearing her admit she had given one part of herself to him. “You are showing signs of the baby. When will he be born?”

  “I’ve been doing some counting, and I would guess that I have about five more months,” Alexandria answered.

  “Then he will be born with the coming of spring. It is a good time for birth. Am I always going to have to keep you in bed to ensure that you will quit pulling away?” he asked with a small amount of playfulness in his tone.

  She didn’t answer.

  “Let’s sleep. We will talk and make love again when we wake,” Standing Bear promised as he held her close to him.

  ***

  While lying in Standing Bear’s arms, her thoughts returned to Running Elk. Alexandria couldn’t shake the thought that she had betrayed him, even if the man she longed to be with didn’t know what she’d gone through. The fact that her body would betray her so easily was confusing at best. The only solace Alexandria took from the situation was that her child would be cared for.

  Sleep had just taken hold when she was woken by Standing Bear’s breath on her neck. She sleepily rolled over to face him.

  “If your body is mine, I’ve decided I would like to possess you again,” he informed her as he rolled on top of her.

  She fell into his embrace willingly, knowing resistance would do nothing to guarantee her safety or the protection of her unborn child.

  When Alexandria woke again later that morning, she was alone on the pallet, but not completely by herself. Abigail was placing more wood on the fire.

  “Where is Standing Bear?” Alexandria asked as she wiped her eyes.

  “You asking about him is a change. Yesterday you wanted to know nothing of the man, and now you ask about his whereabouts. What has happened? And don’t tell me nothing. Come to think of it, Standing Bear looked extremely pleased when I saw him earlier.”

  “He was happy?” Alexandria asked.

  “Blissfully. But you didn’t answer me. Yesterday, when I left, you were filled with worry; today, you are both changed. I’m guessing you didn’t tell him about the baby.”

  “No, I did. And I’m pretty sure we have come to an agreement,” Alexandria explained while she was dressing.

  “The agreement seems to be good for you too. You have not looked this calm since I met you,” Abigail informed her as she began fanning the flames.

  “I am calm because of the child.”

  “No. I think it is more than that.”

  “You didn’t answer me. Where is he?”

  “I don’t know where he was going ,but I’m sure he is still in the village. Now, come, we have work to do. Kiowa women do not stop working because they are with child. And you are a Kiowa woman.”

  Alexandria was taken aback by the statement.

  “Abigail, I have to ask you a question, and you must answer it honestly. Can you do that?”

  Abigail stopped tending the fire and looked Alexandria in the eyes. “Yes. What is it?”

  “If Running Elk ever comes into the village, please help me get to him. I will always love him, no matter what I have done. Will you help?”

  “I will. You have my vow. Now tell me what took place between you and Standing Bear last night.

  “We came to an agreement … twice,” Alexandria said, keeping her gaze on the ground.

  “So, his touch doesn’t sicken you anymore?” Abigail asked.

  “No. I enjoy his touch, and yet still I stand here professing my love for Running Elk.” Alexandria’s mood began to darken before Abigail grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the tipi.

  “I gave you my word that I will help you if the time comes. For now, try to be happy. You are very pretty when you smile. And I’m sure Standing Bear thinks so too.”

  “He does,” Standing Bear walked into the tipi before pulling Alexandria into his arms.

  Much to Alexandria’s surprise, her arms held tight to his lean, muscular body.

  Abigail watched the scene with a dumfounded look on her face. After a few moments of silence, the young woman cleared her throat in an obvious attempt to be heard.

  “Abigail, we are going to Medicine Lodge Creek to meet with the whites. We need to show Alax how to dismantle the tipi and pack everything.”

  “You don’t need to help. These things are women’s work,” Abigail said, not bothering to hide her surprise at the warrior’s offer.

  “I will help. Besides, this way, I will know Alax is being taught the right way,” he said, teasing his cousin.

  Alexandria watched and listened to Standing Bear and Abigail’s exchange until she could no longer hold her tongue. “Why are we going to Medicine Lodge?”

  Standing Bear’s attention was focused on Alexandria as soon as she asked her question. “The white man once again wants something from us. We have all been summoned, and our band has decided to attend. Others have decided against it. In the past, I would have argued to hold out, but I believe I have lost some of my desire to kill. Besides, the mostly useless trip will give us time to enjoy each other’s company. Or does the thought of that still sicken you?”

  Alexandria stood before the warrior and only then began to realize just how correct Abigail’s words had been. Standing Bear seemed almost playful. She forced herself to smile and in doing so, realized it wasn’t as difficult as it had been earlier in their relationship.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The trip to Medicine Lodge was interesting for Alexandria. Standing Bear took every opportunity to point out important places and landmarks. He also taught her what some of the flowers and berries were called and what they were used for. When she looked at him, she saw love in his eyes. She couldn’t help wishing she were riding behind Running Elk, but did her best to stay engaged with Standing Bear and hoped he couldn’t see the doubt in her eyes.

  When the band arrived at the clearing where they would camp for the night, Standing Bear helped Alexandria erect a lean-to before suggesting they bathe in the nearby pond. The water’s edge was striking. The leaves still clung to the branches and were a brilliant red and yellow color.

  The bath was cold but refreshing. When the two arrived back at their accommodations for the night, they saw that Abigail had left a warm pot of stew hanging over the fire.

  “She is good to you,” Alexandria said as she huddled in a buffalo robe by the fire.

  “She is. One day she will make a lucky warrior a wonderful wife. Do you realize you have never cooked for me? I believe my woman should learn to feed me in every way.”

  “I think Abigail is the better cook,” Alexandria assured him, ignoring the sexual connotation of his words.

  During the remainder of the trip, they were almost always together. Standing Bear asked about her life before she met Running Elk. The warrior made sure she understood he did not want to hear any more about Running Elk.

  She learned about Standing Bear’s life too. He admitted that he had been in love before, but that the woman had been killed when the Texans raided his village. Alexandria felt the slightest bit guilty when he confided that he’d never imagined he would want another woman but she had changed his mind.

  As they neared Medicine Lodge, Alexandria could see Indian tribes setting up camp. There were more horses than she’d ever seen, and the number of tipis rivaled many of the small towns she’d visited.

  Children were playing while the women were either beginning to gather water or finishing erecting their homes. There weren’t many men walking around, and Alexandria assumed their absence was because they were all visiting with other chiefs.

  “We will set up over there. My father’s tipi is already up. I do
not want you kept awake because of the meetings we will have. They can get heated. So, let’s set up nearer the water,” Standing Bear suggested while he scanned the area carefully.

  Abigail was still trying to grasp the vast number of Indians gathered. She knew they were there to sign a treaty, but Standing Bear had made it clear he didn’t believe the government would stand by its promises, so she wondered if he was in the minority. The people in attendance had stopped their lives and gathered where they were asked to. She didn’t think too many towns would move if they were asked. Her admiration for the Indian people grew every day.

  “How many people are here?”

  “Many. There are Kiowa and a few Comanche. We have gathered here more to meet with other chiefs than to listen to more of the white man’s lies.”

  “If you are so sure they are lies, then why are you here to listen?”

  Standing Bear stopped his horse, turned around, and moved a stray hair away from Alexandria’s face. “Because there are more of you white people than we thought, and there are fewer of us. Disease from the white man has touched most villages, and war has taken many lives. Perhaps it is time to try another way. And if nothing else, the Kiowa can visit with bands we don’t often see. We are the last to arrive, so we will need to hurry. I need to learn what has taken place.”

  “If there are soldiers here, aren’t you worried that I will run?” Alexandria asked as Standing Bear helped her from the horse.

  The question made Standing Bear’s muscles clench. “They will not see you. And if you do plan on running, you have to know the child you carry would be an outcast. You would be worse off with your own people than with mine.”

  “Will Running Elk be here?” she asked, wishing she hadn’t the second the words left her mouth.

  “He could be,” Standing Bear said, visibly trying to control his growing anger. “This would be a place to find you, but he won’t. He has moved on. You know in your heart I speak the truth. You are mine, little one.”