Dragonfly Dreams Read online

  “What? A snake?” Amah held her stick in the air and ran toward me. She moved faster than I had ever seen her, and she reached me in no time. In a flash, with her raised stick, she whacked the snake hard.

  To my amazement, a frog popped out of the snake’s mouth and did a little hop, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. The snake lunged forward and swallowed the frog again.

  “Did you see that?”

  Mei-mei sloshed over to us, her wet feet making her move more slowly. “I want to see it!” she cried as she reached us. “What happened?”

  “A snake swallowed a frog,” I said excitedly. “And when Amah hit it, the frog hopped out of its mouth.”

  “I want to see it. Where’s the frog?” she asked.

  “The snake swallowed it again.”

  “Do it again, Amah. Do it again!” Mei-mei pleaded.

  Amah already had the stick raised and brought it down on the snake’s head. Whop—out popped the frog again. This time the frog seemed a bit more dazed, but still it took a little hop.

  Before Mei-mei could request it, the snake swallowed the frog a third time!

  The snake must be as hungry as everyone else and determined to die full, I thought.

  Amah wanted to finish the job this time, so she whacked the snake harder. The frog popped out and hopped away while she kept hitting the snake again and again. Finally, Amah picked him up by the end. The long, thin, black snake hung from her hand, lifeless.

  “Well,” she said, “He won’t eat the frog, but we will eat him. Open your bag, Nini.”

  I hesitantly opened the bag, and she dropped the snake in. I held the top of the bag tightly. Amah continued picking greens. By the time Amah said we had enough, my hands and feet were cold. The sky had turned gray, and clouds were moving in as we trudged back across the stubbled field.

  “Do you think the planes will come from that direction?” I asked, looking off to the east over the field. I knew the Pacific Ocean was not far. I wasn’t speaking to anyone in particular, just talking out loud to keep my mind off my feet.

  Amah’s attention was on the ground, not on the sky.

  “Why talk about planes? Useless thinking. War is like winter. It comes, it goes, and we go on. I don’t see planes. You are looking far away. Look here. Think about the snake. Think about the frog.”

  Mei-mei hadn’t been paying attention to either of us. She was plodding along behind us, but when she heard Amah, she said, “Poor little frog.”

  “Don’t worry about the frog,” Amah admonished.

  “But . . .” Mei-mei slowed.

  “You don’t need to worry about the frog,” Amah said, trudging ahead. “The frog is like China. The snake swallows him, just like Japan swallows China, but look, the frog lives and the snake’s dead. Just you wait. You’ll see.”

  I was walking next to Amah, still holding the snake in the bag. It was hard for me to be like Amah. It was natural for her to look for frogs and snakes, but I liked to think about things I didn’t have. Ma once scolded me for wanting oranges because it was useless to think we could have them. But thinking about oranges and looking for airplanes gave me hope that things would change.

  “When we get home, I’ll show you something you won’t forget,” Amah said to me. I could tell she was happy with the results of our foraging. “Would you like to see how my mother taught me to eat a snake?”

  CHAPTER 19

  Summer 1945

  I was writing a letter to Chiyoko when Amah asked me to go with her to the market to get the food we bought with Auntie Boxin’s rations. We were relying almost completely on them now.

  Ma had resumed teaching, and I helped her with the lessons. “I can’t go. I have to prepare my lesson for Ma,” I said. I didn’t tell her I was writing to Chiyoko. She would accuse me of wasting my time.

  Instead of scolding me, Amah grabbed Mei-mei’s hand and dragged her along, even though Mei-mei complained she didn’t feel like going.

  As soon as they were gone, I became restless, wishing I had gone to the market instead of Mei-mei. My restlessness made me want to see Chiyoko even more. It had been over three years since we had parted in the garden. I had written a stack of letters to her, but there was no way to get them to the secret hiding place. And what was worse, I didn’t know if she had left any messages for me.

  Two of Ma’s students came for an English lesson. I tried to talk to them, but Ma told me she didn’t need me that day. She knew I had used this as an excuse not to go with Amah, and she was punishing me. I tried to write but couldn’t concentrate and kept getting up to look out the window. Ma’s students left before Amah and Mei-mei returned. I was still sulking and didn’t pay any attention when Mei-mei went straight to her room.

  “Is Mei-mei all right?” Ma asked Amah.

  “Just hot and tired,” said Amah. “We waited long time in sun.”

  “It’s not like her to go to bed. I’ll check on her.”

  I followed behind Ma, feeling bad that I hadn’t gone. Mei-mei had fallen across the bed with her clothes on, even her shoes. Ma put her hand on Mei-mei’s forehead. Her hair was sticking to her brow.

  “Oh, my,” exclaimed Ma. “Nini, get me a damp cloth.”

  By the time I got back, Ma had taken off Mei-mei’s shoes and loosened her clothes. Mei-mei’s eyes were closed. Ma wiped her face with the damp cloth, and then laid it across her forehead. Mei-mei blinked and looked at Ma, but she didn’t say anything.

  “Is she all right?” I asked.

  “I don’t know for sure, but you should stay away, just in case.”

  Ma pressed her fingers against Mei-mei’s wrist to check her pulse. Mei-mei began to wet the bed.

  “Tell Amah to come quickly!”

  I ran to get Amah, but by the time she arrived, a watery, dark, yellowish mess oozed across the bed. Mei-mei lay right in the middle of it.

  “Help me get the sheets off,” Ma ordered Amah. “Don’t let any of it get on you. Nini, stay out.”

  I stood at the door. Ma showed more strength than she had in months. She lifted Mei-mei, while Amah removed the sheet from the bed and folded it with the mess on the inside.

  “Wash it in boiling water, then hang it in the sun. This is very important.”

  Amah left with the sheets, and Ma took off Mei-mei’s clothes and put a loose gown on her.

  “I can take her clothes to Amah, if you want me to,” I said, trying to help from the doorway.

  “Don’t touch anything!”

  Mei-mei was limp as a rag doll. Her skin was damp, her hair stringy, her eyes open but unfocused, dreamlike. She mumbled things that didn’t make any sense.

  “I don’t understand it,” Ma said. “A few minutes ago, her face was flushed, and she was hot all over. Now her limbs are chilled, hands cold as ice.”

  Without even looking up, Ma said, “Nini, get a blanket from my room, not the wool one—it’s too itchy.”

  I ran to Ma’s room and came back as quickly as I could. I handed a cotton padded blanket to Ma, barely going past the door.

  “Tell Amah to come.”

  I found Amah outside gathering anything she could to light a fire. Amah had a pile of reeds from the field, and she combined them with sticks for fueling the fire.

  “How does she expect me to clean these things with no soap!” she muttered.

  “Come, quick!” I said.

  When we got to the room, Ma had wrapped the cotton blanket around Mei-mei’s limp, chilled body and had placed Mei-mei on the bed.

  “Take these clothes and wash them with the sheets. Be careful and use very hot water.”

  Then Ma went to the bathroom, scrubbed her hands, and called, “Nini, you do the same. Wash your hands, all the way up to your elbows.”

  I tried to wash, but we only had a stone, which felt like a piece
of concrete to wash with. It hurt as I rubbed the rough surface across my hands and arms. By the time I finished, Da had come home, and I overheard Ma talking to him in the living room.

  “I think I know what this is,” Ma said. “I saw it as a child. In the summers, usually in children, but I . . . I haven’t seen typhoid in years. I don’t know where she got it. This could be very serious.”

  Da took a long, deep breath and let out a sigh of frustration and anger. “Everyone is forced to live in these unhealthy conditions. I’ve heard there are many outbreaks of cholera and typhoid.”

  “I thought we’d be safe since we’re so isolated.”

  “Mei-mei could have gotten it anywhere, from the water, the marsh, the lousy food, anything.” Da was always angry at the conditions we lived in and blamed it on the Japanese and their Chinese collaborators.

  “We’ve got to get help,” Ma said anxiously.

  “All the doctors I know have left, and the hospitals won’t take us. We’ll have to take care of her ourselves.”

  “When I was a child, we had an outbreak of typhoid, and my brother was sick. I remember the country doctor saying that milk and limewater were the only things to give him, that anything else was injurious.”

  “We can’t get those things. Milk costs over a hundred dollars a glass, if you can even find it.” Da added, “And there are no limes.”

  “No, not limes. Limewater is not from limes. It’s alkaline water.”

  “Ah, yes, I remember what it is. Sun used it sometimes.”

  Ma’s face brightened. “Sun! He will help us. He can find it, but how can we find him?”

  “I know where he is,” Da said. “He’s working for Madame Lu, the mayor’s sister. But the mayor is a traitor! We can’t hope for any help from her. I’ll have to find it myself.”

  “There’s no way you can go! Mr. Yasemoto has blackened your name in the city, and too many people would recognize you. What about me? I could disguise myself. I could cover my head with a black shawl. I’d look like a Chinese grandmother, and no one would recognize me. I could go at night.”

  “You’d never pass as Chinese. Besides you’d have to find your way alone, and it’s too dangerous to go at night.”

  While they were talking, I wandered back outside to find Amah, who was stoking the fire with dried reeds to get the pot boiling. She had added Mei-mei’s clothes to the sheets in the pot. The smoke caused my eyes to water and my throat to choke up. I moved away from the smoke and when my throat cleared, I asked Amah if she knew how to reach Sun.

  “Sun! You ask about Sun. He’s no help to us,” she grunted.

  Amah used to be fond of Sun, but now she was disgusted with him, thinking him a traitor for working for Madame Lu.

  “How could Sun work for someone like that? Just so he can eat. I won’t have anything to do with Sun anymore.”

  I pushed on. “Where does Madame Lu live?” Not wanting to make her suspicious, I added, “Auntie Boxin was asking.”

  “Well, Auntie Boxin should know,” she replied, not looking up as she cautiously pushed the sheets and clothes in the hot water with her stick. “Auntie Boxin lived on the same street. You know, that big house on the opposite corner, the one with the brick wall around it.”

  I passed that way every day when I went to the Chinese school, but I wasn’t exactly sure which one she meant—nearly all the houses had brick walls around them.

  Amah kept on. “But I don’t know why Auntie Boxin wants to know. She hasn’t even been outside the house. She doesn’t know what has happened. People are hungry and will rob her of everything.”

  “Well, if you had to, which way would you go?”

  “If I had to, I’d go through the marsh. On the other side of the marsh, there’s a longer way that avoids the barracks. But I wouldn’t do it, even if Tai-tai demanded!”

  I went back into the house and found Ma and Da still talking about what to do. I stood in the doorway for a moment, not knowing what to say. I wanted to go myself. In the past I would have just gone, without permission, maybe without telling anyone. But that was not possible now, and I knew my parents would never let me go, even if I knew Amah’s way. Then I heard Ma sigh.

  “Well, we have to do something,” she said. “We have to find Sun.”

  There from the doorway, without even going into the room, I blurted, “I will go. I can find Sun. I know the way, and no one will suspect me. I can get there faster than anyone.”

  Ma and Da stared at me in disbelief. Ma protested and cried, remembering what had happened the time I went to see Chiyoko. Da was silent at first, but when Ma finished, he spoke calmly.

  “Nini, I understand your spirit. Let’s talk about the danger. People from the countryside have poured into the city looking for food. They are hungry and desperate.” Da had already explained that food went first to the Japanese and then to those who collaborated with them. “The peasants have no place in the city to live. Many of them have settled in the old army barracks where your school used to be. It’s dangerous to go that way. They will rob anyone.”

  “Amah has told me a way to go through the marsh and avoid the barracks. She says it takes longer, but if I follow Amah’s way, I know I can do it.”

  “I don’t know Amah’s way, but I will check with her and see if it is better.”

  We kept talking, until Ma reluctantly gave in. When the matter was settled, Da said, “I will write a letter to Sun, explaining everything. Now get some sleep.”

  CHAPTER 20

  All night I lay in the bed thinking about the way I would go. I wasn’t as sure of Amah’s way as I wanted to be. I knew how to cross the field and go to the marsh, but I didn’t know how to get through the marsh or where I would come out on the other side.

  What if I got lost? What if I couldn’t find Sun? My biggest fear was that Sun would refuse to see me. Surely, he would be glad to see me, but what if he had changed or if Madame Lu wouldn’t let him help us? Every time these doubts arose, I thought, I have to find him! Mei-mei might not live if I don’t.

  The next morning, Amah woke me early and prepared food for me to take.

  “Don’t drink any water from the stream,” she warned. “It will make you sick.” She found one of Ma’s jars and filled it with boiled water.

  Ma had been up in the night with Mei-mei and her eyes were dark and puffy. Da had talked to Amah and agreed that her way was safer and gave me his letter to Sun, which I put in my knapsack.

  Heading for the front door, I spotted the Monkey King on the table. I remembered all the times Mei-mei had played with him, hiding Da’s cigarettes or decorating for New Years. I choked back tears, then picked him up and put him in my knapsack.

  Ma and Amah said goodbye at the door, giving me last minute instructions and begging me to be careful. Da walked with me to the gate, giving his advice and telling me to return by nightfall.

  The sky was beginning to lighten. Pale pink and coral showed on the horizon. The grasses in the field seemed to waken in the glow of the early morning light. It reminded me of the mornings when Chiyoko and I used to meet for school. Our walks to school and back were our best times together. I wanted desperately to know if she had left a message for me.

  The secret garden was in the direction that Amah told me to go, but I wasn’t familiar with Amah’s way. It went through the Chinese section that she knew well but I didn’t. I might get lost trying to find the garden. I had to keep my focus on my task -- to find Sun and get back home before dark. It seemed to me that I could get there faster if I went the way I knew. I turned and headed toward the barracks.

  I walked quickly, and soon I became aware of my empty stomach. It made me feel less hungry to think about my favorite meals Sun used to cook. One time when Chiyoko stayed with me, Sun made fried chicken and served it with mashed potatoes, peas, carrots and homemade applesauce. It was an Am
erican-style dinner that Ma liked, but Ma thought Mei-mei was too little to eat adult food, so she smashed the peas and carrots into the potatoes for her. Mei-mei moved the mashed food around on her plate. When Ma wasn’t looking, she went to the kitchen and put it in the garbage and ate Sun’s tsin-tsai with garlic and bamboo shoots.

  Oh, how Chiyoko and I had laughed at her. Mei-mei was always doing funny things. I wanted her to be well and make me laugh again. If only she could smell Sun’s cooking again—that would make her feel better.

  Suddenly a foul smell like human waste and rotten garbage turned my stomach. The morning was still only light enough that I could make out mounds of garbage of nameless things. A rat scurried over a pile. A scrawny dog gnawed on the bones of a dead animal. A girl about Mei-mei’s size stood on the edge of one pile and squatted to pee. A little boy near her, holding a bag in his hands, stared at me with tired eyes.

  Da was right. I hardly recognized the old barracks where I had gone to the Chinese school. Windows were broken out completely and doors torn off the buildings. The doors were used as lean-tos against the walls. What I thought were lumps of garbage at first were people lying against the walls or using removed doors for shelter. Some dark shapes, like shadows wrapped in pitiful rags, moved around the heaps.

  An old man leaned against an iron lamppost. His eyes were following me. I was confused for a moment when I thought he nodded at me. Then something hit me from behind, and two arms reached around me.

  I turned my head and stared into the smudged face of a boy slightly smaller than me. His arms were short and bony and couldn’t reach all the way around me, so he grabbed the straps of my knapsack and yanked. I pulled my arms tight together. He’s not taking my knapsack! It had everything—food for the day, water to drink, a letter for Sun.

  In a flash, I remembered that Chiyoko’s dragonfly was still in the knapsack. I cannot lose it! I thought of the picture of St. Patrick that Tooner gave me—Protect me now, I prayed. I jerked hard and pulled away from the boy.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the old man moving toward me. Suddenly a dog leaped from a mound of trash and landed on a makeshift shelter as he bounded for us, causing the iron lamppost to tilt.