Face Offs & Cheap Shots (CU Hockey Book 2) Read online

  “I guess we’ll see.”

  “We will.” I duck down and lift him off his feet. His legs close around my waist.

  “You really like this trick.” Beck finally smiles, still a long way from being real, but it’s a start.

  I carry him to the bed and drop down onto my back without letting him go. His weight when he lies on top of me is comforting and familiar, and his skin is warm under my fingertips as I run them down his back. “Boyfriends?” I whisper.

  Beck squirms. “Sorry, teammates didn’t seem right.”

  “Agreed.”

  He tilts his head up. “Are we?”

  “Boyfriends?”

  “Well, obviously. I mean we’re fucking and dating and we’re kinda past the hating each other thing …”

  “We’re definitely past that.” I hug him tighter, sure he can hear the way my heart is beating louder. “Yeah. I, ah—yeah. I want that.”

  “Me too.”

  I’m not sure how it’ll work moving forward. His dad doesn’t seem in a hurry to support him, and I have no idea how some of the guys on the team will react. Yeah, they’re mostly cool, but it’s one thing to know Grant liked dudes, it’s a whole other thing when two teammates are in a relationship. A breakup could really fuck our chances when it comes to the Frozen Four.

  But I refuse to keep Beck a secret. It might have made sense early on when I’d been sure things were only physical, but now we’re actually together, now we’re both committed to this thing, I’m going to claim him.

  Beck is mine.

  And everyone is gonna know it.

  Beck’s alarm goes off at the ass crack of dawn, and I’d hate him for waking me so early on a day where we can technically sleep in if it weren’t for the reason he set the alarm in the first place. He wants to sneak out of here and avoid talking with his mom. He’s already dressed and throws clothes my way as he urges me to get ready.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to stay and talk?”

  “Hell no.”

  “Figured I should check. I’m not keen to stick around either.”

  We hurry quietly through the penthouse and make our way down to Beck’s car. When we’re finally on the road again, he lets out a long breath. “Are you going to plug your music in, or what?”

  “Sure, but you’re taking us through drive-thru. I’m starving.” I moan dramatically and rub my stomach which makes Beck laugh. Hearing it again is instant relief.

  While he concentrates on driving, I set my hand on his thigh like he had me do yesterday.

  “Now, I’m pretty sure the answer is no, but I feel like it’s my boyfriendly duty to ask if you’re okay?”

  Beck snorts. “We both know what went down, and now I want to move on and forget about it.”

  If it was anyone other than Beck, I’d push, but I’m pretty sure he means it. He does want to move on.

  We go through a drive-thru, and the smell of bacon and coffee makes my mouth water.

  “How do you know your parents won’t care?” he asks after we’ve put away two breakfast sandwiches.

  “I remember a few years back, after my first year of college, we had a booth at the Dorset Summer Festival and Mom put up a little rainbow sign saying ‘ladies, gaydies, and theydies all welcome.’”

  Beck laughs and I cringe.

  “She got some complaints about political agenda or whatever, so the next year she made the sign bigger.”

  Beck’s still laughing. “And this happened just after you started college?”

  “Yep.”

  “Right after you met Grant.”

  I narrow my eyes at him. “And?”

  “Oh, Topher.” He pats my hand. “A blowjob says literally no one is surprised when you introduce me as your boyfriend.”

  “Fuck off, they don’t know.”

  “Mmhmm.”

  “I wasn’t like that with Grant.”

  “Okay, honey.”

  “Could you make that sound any more patronizing?”

  “I could try.”

  I can’t even be mad when he gives me a cocky smile because it feels so good to see him happy. “Better start relaxing those throat muscles.”

  It takes us three hours to get to Dorset, and I direct Beck toward the farm. We used to deal mainly with vegetables, but since our apple trees grew in and Mom started running weekend events, it’s more of an orchard than a farm.

  The whole front entrance has been rebranded over the past few years to look welcoming and inviting. There’s a gazebo where we usually have live music during the summer, the good apple trees for family picking, and the shed where we make cider and donuts. It’s all open to the public, and the summer months are when the farm gets a real boost in profit.

  Guilt over going to college and doing the summer camp at school always cuts deep whenever I think about it too hard, so I try not to.

  My parents are the ones who insisted I go to college—especially if the school is paying for it. They understand I don’t want to be a farmer and want me to have the normal college experience which is why they’re lax about my schedule and don’t force me to help out, but the guilt over leaving them shorthanded … gah, it sucks. It’s that deep-seated sense of responsibility I can never seem to shake.

  I direct Beck to the back entrance. There’s a long dirt road with shrubs growing tight at the edges. This is the side that feels more like home because growing up, the farm was always a little overgrown and chaotic.

  We pull up out the back before ten, so everyone should be out working, but we’ve barely parked when the back door flies open and Mom hurries out. My brothers and Dad aren’t far behind her.

  “I thought you’d be working,” I say, jumping out of the car and swamping her in a tight hug.

  “You really think we’re not going to be here to welcome you home? When I got your text, we rushed through morning chores.”

  The other car door opens, and Mom’s attention shoots to Beck. I try to picture how he must look through her eyes, but all I can see is golden hair and a smile that makes my chest swell.

  “Who’s this?” Dad asks, clapping Beck heavily on the shoulder, and it makes me laugh to see the way Beck’s eyes widen. My dad is … intimidating, I guess. He’s got half a foot and about fifty pounds on Beck, and with his shaved head and thick moustache, he doesn’t look like someone you’d mess with.

  Until he smiles.

  The deep lines at his eyes make him look instantly kinder.

  “Ah, I’m Beck, sir.”

  Dad throws his head back and laughs. “Sir? Hell no. Call me Lenny.”

  Beck smiles, but I can tell he still doesn’t know how to take my dad, or my brothers, who are slowly starting to surround him. Taking pity on him, I walk over and slide my arm around his waist. “Dad’s harmless—Mom’s the one who bites. These brats,” I say, pointing to my brothers, “are Tony, Rafter, and Cole.”

  “Hey, nice to meet you all.” He sounds like he’s getting some confidence back.

  “Guys, this is my boyfriend, Beck.” I get it all out with only the slightest hitch to my words. I wasn’t lying when I told Beck they’d be cool with it, but damn it if I’m not nervous anyway.

  Mom walks closer, arms crossed tight, the lines around her mouth marring her features. Then she smiles. “Finally, he gets the hint. I’ve been trying to get you to bring your boyfriends to help for years.”

  Excuse me?

  Beck bursts out laughing.

  “I’ve never had a boyfriend before!” I splutter.

  “Uh-huh, sweetie.” She pats my cheek. “Whatever you say.”

  “I haven’t.”

  Dad nods. “He looks strong. Good pick, son.”

  My face contorts because while I want them to be supportive, I don’t want them sizing my boyfriend up.

  “Eww, Chris is in love.” Cole pretends to gag, and Dad whacks the back of his head. He’s gotten pimplier and weedier than I last saw him, and he looks exactly like I did at thirteen.

>   “See this?” Mom asks my brothers, pointing at us. “This is the standard of partner you need to bring home. Anyone else gay? Bi? Pan? We need some more hockey players to round out the family.”

  Rafter laughs. “Who needs hockey players when Tony’s girlfriend could kick all our asses?”

  Tony shoves him, and they immediately begin to wrestle as I pull Beck around to the back of the car. He pops the trunk, and I duck down behind it.

  “And you thought the farm would be quiet,” I taunt to the sound of my brothers’ laughter.

  Beck’s smiling full force. “I think I kind of love it.”

  “Aw, Teddy.” I shove his bag at his chest. “Just wait. They weren’t joking when they said they’re putting you to work.”

  For some reason his smile gets wider. “And I wasn’t joking about my bet.” He leans in. “Lucky I have a blowjob to cash in on.”

  Beck slams the trunk and slings his bag over his shoulder before walking back toward the farmhouse. All his nervousness has disappeared, and damn it, I kinda love that he loves it here too.

  I’m standing there, stupidly watching him when Cole starts to make gagging sounds and catches Beck’s attention.

  Our eyes clash for a moment, and then he winks and lifts his voice to say, “Okay, family, show me where I’m sleeping.”

  26

  Beck

  “I think I’m dead.” I flop onto Jacobs’s bed on my stomach. “I know why you can lift me now.” My voice is muffled from talking into his pillow, but I can’t even move my head to the side.

  Jacobs smacks my ass. “It’s been one day of work.”

  With the last ounce of strength I have left, I roll over onto my back. How am I supposed to do two more weeks of this? “I don’t get it. I am not unfit. I work out, and I plow down guys twice my size on the ice. The thing that kills me is apple picking? What the actual fuck?”

  Jacobs laughs. “You’re using muscles you don’t normally use.”

  “And your brother? The scrawny one? He’s like a machine. He can strip a tree faster than I can strip you.”

  Heat fills my boyfriend’s eyes, and I know I’ve made a mistake.

  “Is that an invitation?” His husky voice makes my dick twitch, but that’s all I’ve got in me.

  “Yeah. When my arms start working again.”

  “You need a nice long soak in the tub?”

  “I’ve seen the tub. I won’t even fit in that thing.”

  “Yeah, probably not. It’s no hot tub on a penthouse rooftop.” He sits down on the edge of the bed and leans over me. “You know, you could cash in right now. A blowjob will be sure to relax those muscles.”

  “No, just cuddle me,” I whine. “I want to be able to enjoy my blowjob instead of being distracted by pain.”

  He lies beside me and puts his arm over my middle. “Aww, you really are a teddy bear, Teddy Beck.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “I’d let you … but apparently your arms are dead.”

  Okay, now my dick is fully on board, but the rest of me is still not. “I hate you. You did not promise me your ass when you know I can’t actually take it.”

  He laughs against me. “It’ll happen one of these days. Unlike you, I wait until I’m in an actual relationship before giving up the ass.”

  My eyes narrow. “I feel like you called me a slut, but I don’t have the energy to care.”

  “Not a slut. Just easy.”

  “Well, that is true. It was a hell of a lot easier to go gay than I thought it would be.”

  Jacobs stiffens but then leans up on his elbow so he can stare down at me. “Is that what you are now?” He winces. “Okay, that came out more ignorant than I wanted it to. I’m …” He takes a deep breath. “I’m confused about how exactly I identify now. I wasn’t going to say anything, but I figure … you’re kinda going through it too, right?”

  I blink up at him, unsure of what to say because the truth is, I have no clue either.

  “And … okay … if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay too.” He flops back down and buries his face in the pillow next to mine. “I’m gonna go die now.”

  I laugh. “Topher?”

  He doesn’t move.

  “Look at me.”

  Slowly, he turns his head.

  “I don’t know about this stuff either,” I admit. “And I don’t think it’s really important to figure it all out all at once.”

  A small frown line crosses Jacobs’s forehead.

  “Unless you feel you need to,” I clarify. “You were confused about Grant, and then we happened. It’s safe to say you’re not straight.”

  Jacobs laughs.

  “But only you can label what you are outside of that.”

  “And … you haven’t thought about it? For you, I mean?”

  “I have. I just have no idea what I would be called. You’re the only guy I’ve even thought about that way, and it didn’t happen until you kissed me. Maybe I need to go out and kiss a bunch of dudes to work out if it’s a guy thing or a you specifically thing.”

  “Don’t you even think about it.”

  Huh. My boyfriend growling is kinda hot.

  “I’ve been trying to check out the other guys at camp, but … they don’t do anything for me. But, again, they all like me already. Maybe I was attracted to you because I wanted to win you over and make you see I’m not the guy you thought I was. Ooh, hate kink. Maybe I have that.”

  Jacobs smiles. “I know you’re cracking jokes to try to make me feel better, but I don’t know if it’s working.”

  “What if I let you blow me now? Will that make it better?”

  “How magnanimous of you.”

  “I’m a generous guy.”

  We both laugh, but it dies fast.

  “I think I’m gay,” Jacobs blurts.

  “Okay. If that’s what you feel you are, then you are, and it doesn’t change anything for me.”

  “It’s weird saying it. Doesn’t feel exactly right. Maybe I’m bi? I don’t know. All I know is the girls I’ve been with, it’s been … nice. It’s not hot. It hasn’t been needy. It’s been … nice. That’s the only word I can come up with to describe it. It’s nothing like when I’m with you. I’m wondering if that means something bigger?”

  “It … might.” I’m so out of my depth here. I don’t know what’s appropriate to say or not.

  “Can you tell me what you really think?” Jacobs asks.

  “Isn’t finding the right label something you need to do on your own? I don’t know. I haven’t exactly researched any of this shit. I’ve been putting it in a ‘to do later’ basket. I’m in no rush.”

  “It is, but I want your opinion or maybe how you’re trying to analyze it about yourself. I need some direction.”

  “You know who would be good at this stuff? Grant. Why don’t you call him?”

  “He’s probably freaking out about getting ready for training camp in the NHL. I don’t think he’d want me calling him and distracting him from that.”

  I move my tired arms and reach for my phone which is stuck in my pocket. “I’ll do it, then.”

  I hit Grant’s number and put it on speaker. It rings over and over again with no sign of him picking up.

  “Told you,” Jacobs mutters.

  When I’m about to give up, a voice answers that’s definitely not Grant.

  “This is Zach.”

  “Oh, uh, hi,” I say. I haven’t had much to do with Grant’s boyfriend before.

  “Hey, Zach, it’s Topher. And Beck.” Jacobs smiles at me. “But you’re totally allowed to call him Teddy seeing as you hate the last-name game. Where’s Foster? We kinda need to talk to him.”

  “Don’t you two hate each other? Did someone die?”

  We look at each other and laugh.

  “We, uh, have some questions,” I say.

  He gasps. “Was I right? It was totally sexual tension between you guys?”

  I glance at Jacobs. “Za
ch’s gay. We could ask him.”

  “I’ll put you on speaker. Foster’s getting out of the shower.”

  “Ah. That explains why it took so long to answer the phone.” I snicker.

  Jacobs elbows me. “Shush, I can practically hear Zach blushing.”

  “Uh, u-um, yeah, you might be right about that,” Zach says softly.

  “Who’s on the phone?” Grant’s voice sounds far away.

  “Your friends. Topher and Teddy.”

  “Who the fuck is Teddy?”

  I laugh. “It’s Beck.”

  There’s no answer for a long time.

  “You two are … together? Didn’t camp end? Oh my God, who died?”

  “That’s what I asked,” Zach says.

  “No one died,” I grumble. “We’re … together. Like, together together, but we’re confused.”

  Zach’s voice lowers to a whisper, and I don’t think we’re supposed to hear it. “Are they going to ask how gay sex works because if so, I’m out.”

  I crack up. “No, we’ve got the hang of that. Thanks. We’re struggling with labels.” I glance at Jacobs, who’s gone silent.

  “Do you need a label?” Grant asks.

  “I don’t think I do, but—”

  Jacobs cuts me off. “How did you know you were bi and not gay?”

  “I didn’t,” Grant says. “Not for a long time. I actually came out as gay first because I found myself more attracted to guys than girls. But then I had sex with a girl and realized I liked it too. I can go either which way, but I’m basically attracted to all men and some women. That still makes me bi even if it’s on the gayer end of the scale.”

  Jacobs contemplates that. “I … I guess that makes sense.”

  “It works for me too,” I say, “but on the opposite end. Jacobs is the only guy I’ve ever thought about that way. I’m probably mainly women focused but just really like him.”

  “You might want to look up what being pan means,” Grant says.

  “What’s that?” Maybe I should have researched all this stuff so I don’t sound like an idiot.

  “It means gender isn’t a big part of your attraction. You’re attracted to people for who they are.”