Happiness Read online

  The second principle crucial to understanding psychological wealth is seeing happiness for its functions rather than for its pleasantries. Undoubtedly, happiness - by almost anyone's definition - feels good, and most folks like to savor the experience. But happiness doesn't just feel good; it is good for you in a number of surprising ways, helping people to function effectively in many areas of life. Understanding how happiness can be used beneficially is important to cultivating true psychological wealth.

  Happiness is a Process, Not a Place

  North America's tallest peak, Mount McKinley, is a challenging and dangerous mountain to climb. It sits in the rugged, remote interior of Alaska, and McKinley's summit has been a prized goal for mountaineers for the last century. A friend of ours, the University of Illinois psychologist Art Kramer, has been on the upper slopes of the mountain several times as part of his research on how oxygen - and the lack thereof - affects people's thinking. As humans become deprived of oxygen, whether because of circulatory problems or thin air, their thinking slows, they become confused, and good decisions are difficult. The rarefied air at twenty thousand feet offers a perfect laboratory for Art's research. But because research ethics do not allow scientists to place their research participants in mortal danger, Art cannot go the usual route of recruiting university students to study. Instead, he climbs and conducts research with the United States Navy, whose elite soldiers scale the mountain as part of their training.

  On a recent climbing expedition, Kramer was ascending a steep snow bank when he came upon a team of less experienced Canadian mountaineers who were uncertain in which direction they ought to head. Art took the team to the ridge leading to the summit, and then did something remarkable. Instead of hiking the final few hundred meters himself, he turned his back on the summit and descended to camp. Because climbing to the top of Mount McKinley could cast doubt on the scientific integrity of the expedition - creating the impression that Professor Kramer was using government research funds to finance his private ambition - he turned around before reaching the summit. The hardest part of the climb was behind him; all that lay between him and the summit was a straightforward walk up a gentle slope. He could easily have ascended to the top, but chose instead to turn back. In an age where summit fever has led to highly publicized accounts of tragedy, Art's attitude toward the peak is refreshing.

  When we suggested to Art that not reaching the summit might haunt him for the rest of his life, he laughed. Rather than worrying about "the one that got away," Art views climbing Mount McKinley as far more about the activity than the end goal. He once said to us, "Climbing has never been about the summit for me. It's always been about the process of climbing." His sentiment is easy enough to say, but let's be honest: the summit of a mountain can be an important goal. But if we side-step this traditional goal, what does that leave us?

  If climbing is not about getting to the top of the mountain, then what is to keep a person huffing and puffing uphill? The answer, according to Art, is that there are many enjoyable, rewarding moments along the way. The entire process of climbing can be an emotional payoff, from training at home, to the feeling of "flow" while climbing, to gorgeous views, to victory beers with friends after the climb. Art can easily point to many of his favorite aspects of spending time at high altitudes: "Climbing is about being out in the wilderness and enjoying the beauty. It's also about the challenge of route finding." When we spoke about his Mount McKinley expedition, he added, with a childlike twinkle in his eye, "And climbing is definitely about making snow caves; I've enjoyed that." Success, for Art, is more about how enjoyable the journey is than whether or not he achieves the summit.

  While you may not be a climber, you can likely recognize the metaphorical implications of this story. In so many ways, and for so many people, the pursuit of goals is like a climb up the side of a mountain. There are better routes and worse routes; there are hazards and setbacks; effort is required; and there is the hope of ultimate success. Perhaps most important, the summit is only one small part of the climb. Just as climbers eagerly anticipate their expedition, enjoy the relief of an occasional rest, and savor the memory of their trips, happiness is often less about achieving goals than it is about enjoyment along the way, and fond recollections afterward. In this way, Art Kramer's story beautifully illustrates one of the main points of this book: happiness is not just a destination. That's right: despite the fact that many people seek out lasting fulfillment - and it is natural and understandable to do so - happiness is not an emotional finish line in the race of life. We should repeat that: happiness should not be looked at just as a destination we try to reach, but as a beneficial way we learn to travel. A key to psychological wealth is to understand the importance of the journey itself to happiness.

  What does it mean to say that happiness is a process, not a place? There are several important lessons in the dictum. The Art Kramer story illustrates one meaning - that happiness often comes from doing rather than having. If we enjoy the activities needed in working for our goals, many hours and years of pleasure are provided, whereas reaching summits provides only the occasional short-term high. Another important meaning of the "process, not a place" maxim is that no matter what good life circumstances we obtain, things can still go wrong. Furthermore, even in good circumstances we need to find new challenges and goals, or things will grow boring. We adapt to good things and need to move on to new goals to continue to enjoy life to the fullest.

  Caveat Emptor: Bad Stuff Happens ... Even to Princesses

  Take a moment and recall the classic story of Cinderella. Remember how she was cruelly mistreated by her stepsisters and their wicked mother? Do you recall how they made her slave away at the daily household chores? Remember how the dress she labored so hard over was torn to shreds in a fit of jealousy, and her hopes of going to the royal ball lay in tatters? Of course, you probably best remember the happy ending of the fairy tale: Cinderella's magical godmother arrives in the nick of time, whisks her away to the dance, and engineers a quick infatuation, with the result that the beloved protagonist marries the charming prince. But is that the end of the story, or just the beginning?

  It is interesting to consider what happened to Cinderella next, after she was betrothed and took up residence in Charming Castle. For people who believe that happiness is a matter of favorable circumstances, the story of Cinderella turns out to be a slam dunk. With a Hollywood-handsome husband, a royal title, all the riches she could want, and soldiers to guard her from the paparazzi, how could our belle of the ball not be happy? But for folks who are inclined to think of happiness as a process, the matter of Cinderella's emotional fate is far from clear. Did Cinderella's husband treat her well, or was he a philanderer in later life? Did she find some meaningful pastime to keep her occupied on the palace grounds? Were her children spoiled brats? Did she harbor resentment about her upbringing, or try to get revenge on her stepsisters? Did she grow bored with royal balls and court intrigue, or did she organize a dance program for the poor kids in her kingdom? Happiness, as we have said, is a process, not a destination. Just as Cinderella's life did not end with her royal wedding, your emotional bliss is not complete once you have obtained some important goal. Life goes on, and even those great circumstances you achieve will not ensure you lasting happiness. For one thing, bad things can happen even to beautiful young princesses. But even if Cinderella's life encountered few bumps on the fairyland road, she might have grown bored with the wonderful circumstances surrounding her, and needed new aims and activities to add zest to her life.

  In the end, Cinderella's quality of life was probably dictated less by her favorable circumstances and more by how she construed them. Hardships are an inevitable part of life, and having psychological wealth does not mean there are never any risks or losses. Of course there are. Happiness is not the complete absence of tough times, because that would be unrealistic. But, as we shall see later in this chapter and later in this book, negative emotions have a place in psy
chological wealth, and subjective interpretation plays an important role in happiness.

  Needing the Rigors of the Game

  We sometimes ask our students whether they would accept the following pact with a genie. After floating out of his lamp, he offers to give you everything you desire, and as soon as the wish comes into your head, without the typical three-wish limit. The smirking genie says that anything you want will instantly come to you. You can't wish for happiness, and you can't wish that you will need to work for things to obtain them: no trickery of this type is allowed. Just solid old-school wishing for gold, castles, travel, beauty, friends, sports talent, intelligence, musical talent, good-looking dates, fast cars, and the like is permitted. Of course, most students wave their hands wildly, signaling that of course they would accept this great offer. Undoubtedly they are thinking of school loans, good grades, summers in Paris, and body fat. But - typically - as the class discussion proceeds, doubts begin to creep in. Maybe this all-wishes-granted deal, having everything and working for nothing, would become boring. Maybe you would adapt to all your blessings and they would no longer produce happiness. The discussion proceeds a bit further, and a few students begin to think the infinite-wishes deal might be hell on earth. Things would become boring, they reason, and life would lose its zest.

  Students' qualms about receiving everything without effort express our intuitive understanding that working for things we desire can be part of the pleasure of obtaining them. Just as climbing the mountain may be the major part of the fun, and simply being boosted to the top by a genie would be much less rewarding, much in life might be more meaningful and rewarding because of the efforts needed to obtain it. Not only will the eventual reward be more exciting, but the activities needed to gain the reward can themselves be very rewarding. The former justice of the United States Supreme Court Benjamin Cardozo expressed this well: "In the end the great truth will have been learned: that the quest is greater than what is sought, the effort finer than the prize (or, rather, that the effort is the prize), the victory cheap and hollow were it not for the rigor of the game." The renowned justice went beyond saying that the goal-seeking activities enhance the final reward; he claimed that these activities are in fact the prize itself!

  The Lessons of Part III

  Part III is particularly relevant to happiness as a process. Chapter 9 of that section is about adaptation, and shows that we adapt to some degree to the good conditions we encounter in life. At first they produce a thrill; then we grow used to them. This is why we need continuing new goals to remain happy, and why rewarding activities are so important to happiness. We can continue to enjoy mountain climbing even if the thrill of summiting wears off. In fact, just as the euphoria of summiting may decline, the enjoyment of climbing can grow as one's skills improve.

  Chapter 10 is about happiness forecasting and is also relevant to happiness as a process. To lead a happy life, we need to make good decisions, and this involves the recognition that problems invariably arise, even in good circumstances. Our Prince Charming might not be a philanderer, but he won't be perfect either - he forgets birthdays and is a workaholic. He grows a paunch and develops bad breath. Making good choices in life depends on recognizing not just rewards, but the likely problems in choices as well. Happiness depends in part on our ongoing choices, not just on a set of lucky circumstances.

  Finally, Chapter 11 describes our AIM (attention, interpretation, memory) model, which is central to the idea that happiness is a process rather than a place. The idea behind the AIM model is that how people interpret the world has as much, or more, to do with their happiness than what is actually going on in their world. The processes of attending to some events and not others, of interpreting ambiguous events in positive rather than negative ways, and of tending to recall the good times instead of the bad times from the past are about the internal processes of being happy. Without these processes it is hard to stay happy for long. This is why some people are happy and some are not when living in very similar circumstances. Happiness as a process means that our daily interpretation of things determines our feelings of well-being, and learning to interpret most events in a positive light is a valuable skill.

  Happiness as a process, not a place, is a core principle of beneficial happiness that captures many ideas about the effective way of living a happy life. Always remember that happiness is a way of traveling as much as it is a final destination. Of course, some routes and destinations are better than others, and Paris can be quite fun once you get there. A trip to Hawaii is usually more rewarding than one to Newark. So enjoy both the trip and the destination.

  Happiness is Beneficial

  Modern psychological science has added a fascinating and counterintuitive new dimension to the age-old discussion of happiness: happiness is beneficial. Rather than viewing happiness as a pleasant or peaceful state of mind, research tells us that happiness is helpful and functional. It is a resource to be used rather than only to be enjoyed.

  Some people believe that happiness is about as beneficial as injecting heroin, and that feelings of joy are about as helpful as making a wish when you blow out candles on your birthday cake. The playwright and Nobel laureate George Bernard Shaw once said, "A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth." The great medical missionary and Nobel laureate Albert Schweitzer similarly undermined the importance of happiness when he quipped, "Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory." Among the most vocal critics of all time was the French writer Gustave Flaubert, who was famously opposed to the pursuit of happiness. When Flaubert wasn't busy penning his steamy novel Madame Bovary, he was usually criticizing middle-class society and the quest for happiness. Flaubert opined, "To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost." To the curmudgeonly Flaubert, happiness was a case of investing energy and resources in the wrong places. At its best, according to Flaubert, happiness is a pleasant feeling; at its worst, happiness is a dangerous golden calf that suckers whole societies into complacency, destructive hedonism, and softheadedness.

  Flaubert was dead wrong in his assertion that happiness is stupid and selfish. Happiness, as it turns out, not only feels good, but is often good for you and for society. In Part II, we will discuss research showing that happiness is associated with a wide variety of tangible benefits, ranging from improved health, to better marriages, to increased chances of attaining personal goals. For most people, happiness is that emotional pot of gold at the end of the emotional rainbow. Happiness is most commonly thought of as a destination, a state we work toward and hope to achieve in some lasting way. However, studies show that happiness is not only a worthy aspiration, but that it is actually a resource as well; it is emotional capital we can spend in the pursuit of other attractive outcomes. Research shows that happy people live longer, succumb to fewer illnesses, stay married longer, commit fewer crimes, produce more creative ideas, work harder and better on the job, make more money, and help others more. Who wouldn't want to be happier if it increased one's chances of being physically fit, financially secure, helpful, and surrounded by friends? If you think about the times in your own life when you have been upbeat, you probably recognize that these were periods of creativity, energy, hope, and social connection. In the end, happiness is far more than hedonism or complacency; it is helpful and healthy.

  The first hints of the new way of looking at happiness surfaced in the early 1970s, when the researcher Alice Isen and her colleagues investigated the potential outcomes of good moods. In one classic study, she secretly planted coins in the change slot of a telephone booth. When unsuspecting callers "found" the money, they were subsequently more likely than those who had not found change to help a bystander (a research accomplice) carry books or pick up dropped papers. Similarly, in a study where Isen and her colleagues gave physicians a gift bag of candies and chocolates, the boost of positivity led the doctors to be better diag
nosticians, able to integrate information, arrive at a diagnosis earlier, and show more flexible thinking. If you want to improve your chances of a correct diagnosis on your next clinic visit, bring a small gift!

  Human anatomy and human psychology have something in common: both serve specific functions. Our hands, with their dexterous fingers and opposable thumbs, are perfect for grasping. Our sweat glands are essential to our ability to cool ourselves. It makes sense, given the so-called mind-body connection (which holds that emotions and other psychological processes are rooted in our biology), that our emotions are not just products of random chance that serve no purpose, but that they too are functional.

  Our feelings help us interpret the quality of our lives and the world around us, and motivate us to behave accordingly. It is easy to understand the benefits of negative emotions like guilt and fear. Fear functions to keep us safe by motivating us to avoid perceived dangers, and guilt functions to guide our behavior through moral decision making, and thereby helps preserve harmony in families and communities. Imagine how dysfunctional the world would be if people did not grieve for their deceased loved ones, feel pangs of guilt when they cheated on tests, or become angry when they were treated unjustly. This is one reason we do not advocate a happy-only approach to life, but insist that bad moods are not only inevitable, but can be useful. Although negative emotions are unpleasant to experience, they often serve a purpose.