A Monk of Cruta Read online

  CHAPTER XII

  "WE ARE LIKE SHOOTING STARS, WHOSE MEETING IS THEIR RUIN"

  To-night I have had another shock! I was sitting alone in my roomdown-stairs, dreaming over the fire, when a footstep sounded upon thestairs. At first I thought that it might be Paul, and I sprang up, andstood listening intently. What a little fool I was! I felt the colourburning in my cheeks, and my heart was beating. I listened to thetread, and the madness passed away. It was a man's footsteps, but notPaul's.

  They halted at my door, and there was a firm, deliberate knock. BeforeI could reply, the handle was turned, and a figure stood upon thethreshold.

  My little chamber was in darkness, but the clear, cold voice struck avague note of familiarity.

  "I seek Adrea Kiros! Are these her rooms? Are you she?"

  I struck a match with trembling fingers, and looked eagerly towardsthe doorway. A man stood there, dark, stern, and forbidding, lookingsteadfastly towards me. My memory had not deceived me! It was FatherAdrian!

  "You have found me out," I said slowly. "Come inside and close thedoor."

  He moved slowly forward, and stood in the middle of the room. Hisface was as white as marble and as steadfast; but his dark eyes, whichseemed to be challenging mine to meet them, were full of smoulderingfire. I summoned up all my courage, and threw myself into a low chair,with a little laugh.

  "You are not exactly cordial," I said. "If you have anything to say tome, won't you sit down?"

  "If I have anything to say to you!" he repeated, and his whole toneseemed vibrating with hardly subdued passion. "If I have anything tosay to you! Is this your greeting?"

  "Why, no, not if you come as a friend! But when you stand and glare atme _comme cela_, what do you expect? Nothing very cordial, surely!"

  He advanced a step further towards me. I watched him steadfastly,and I knew that the old madness was not dead. I was glad. It made thestruggle between us more even.

  "Have I no cause to look at you sternly, Adrea?" he demanded,--"youwho deceived us! you who lied to us, to win our aid! Where would youhave been now had it not been for me? At Cruta! Would to God my handhad withered before it had set you free!"

  "You are very kind!"

  "Girl, are you mad? At Cruta you were thoughtless and gay, but Godknows your heart was pure. Now you are a paid dancing girl!"

  I turned upon him suddenly, rising to my full height, and looking himstraight in the face. He did not flinch, but a faint colour rose tohis forehead as he continued.

  "Stop!" I said. "You are talking of those things which you donot understand. You could not possibly understand. You and I aredifferent; we belong to different worlds. The things of your world arenot the things of mine. Leave me now, and for ever, and let us go ourown ways. We measure things by different quantities. You are a priest,and very much a priest, and I am a woman, and very much a woman!For the past I am grateful; for its sake I forget the insults of thepresent. Now go!"

  I knew quite well that he would not take me at my word, nor did he.

  "Adrea, I cannot go and lose all knowledge of you for ever," he saidsadly. "For my own sake I would say, Would to God that I could! but itis impossible. Within me there is a voice which whispers 'Fly,' butI cannot; your future is still as dear to me as in the old days. Oh!Adrea! I have sorrowed and mourned lest our last parting had been forever, and now, alas! I would that it had been; I would to God that Ihad never found you out!"

  "You can forget it," I said coldly.

  "I can never forget it," he answered fiercely. "Girl! you seem to mesometimes like a scourge! Your memory is a very nightmare of sin! Youhave brought me nothing but pain and remorse and anguish of heart. Forall my suffering there is no brighter side; yet I cannot forget it!"

  Despite his fierce words, which for a moment had burned in my ears,I pitied him. In the old days he had been my champion, and it was hishand, together with hers, which had aided my escape from Cruta. So Ispoke to him softly.

  "I am sorry! As I said, we are of different moulds, and we belong to adifferent branch of humanity. We are neither of us inclined to change!Let us go our own ways, and apart!"

  He was close by my side now, and his hand was resting on the back ofmy chair. I laid mine upon it for a moment; it was cold as ice, andshaking. The old madness was upon him indeed.

  "You were kind to me at Cruta," I continued. "I do not forget it, andI thank you for it! But we are as far apart as the poles, and we mustcontinue so."

  The position between us seemed reversed. He stood by my side, pale andpassionate, with his clear eyes full of a strange wistfulness.

  "All that you say is, in a measure, true," he said in a low tone; "yetdo not send me away from you! Some day you may see things differently;some day trouble may come to you, and I may be your helper! Thereis only one thing: I would have you look upon me as a brother, and Iwould have you give me a brother's confidence."

  "I would gladly be friends with you," I answered, "only do not seekmore than I choose to tell you. As for the things you charge me with,there is truth and falsehood in them. It is true that I have earnedmy living by dancing, but it has been in private only. Of course, youknow nothing about it; how should you? But I am not a ballet dancer,as I believe you think."

  "You are not upon the stage, then?"

  "No! nor do I dance in short skirts! Some day I will give you anexhibition in this room! Now don't look like that," I added quickly;"I was only joking. I would not defile the air around your saintlinessfor the world! But I want to tell you this: my dancing is recognisedas an art. I rank everywhere with the men and women who are calledartists, the men and women who are ever striving to realize in somemanner a particular ideal of beauty through different channels. Thehighest development of physical beauty in the human form is in graceof motion. I aim at the beautiful in illustrating this. I didn't knowit myself until a great painter told me so, but I am beginning tounderstand. I don't expect you to; you must take it on trust."

  "It sounds strange to me, but I do not doubt that there is truth, sometruth in it," he admitted gravely.

  "You and I look upon life, and all its connections, with differenteyes," I continued. "What may seem sin to you, may be justified to me.Yet I will stoop to answer your unspoken question. As I was at Cruta,so I am now! It may be that I am better, for I have done a goodaction!"

  He held up his hand, but I took no notice.

  "I will tell it you. A few days ago, chance brought in my way a mostunhappy woman. She had escaped from an odious captivity, only to findherself alone, friendless and penniless in a strange city. The man onwhom she had counted for help she could not find. He had given her anaddress where she might always hear of him. Day by day she inquiredthere in vain. It may have been through no fault of his, but she wasin sore straits."

  "Her name?"

  "I found her, and brought her home. She lives with me; she is here!"

  The door was opening as I spoke, and she entered. They stood face toface, silent with the shock of so sudden a meeting. Then he steppedquickly forward, and, taking her hands, drew her to him. I slippedaway, and left them alone together.