Dreaming of Christmas Read online

  She helped herself to a cup of tea and a slice of Stollen, but Lorna headed straight for the champagne and several of the others joined her. The prospect of a completely open bar was alluring, but Zoë was determined to take it slow. She wanted to have a good time, but she wanted to be able to remember it.

  ‘I’m especially glad you could come, Jules.’ Billy glanced over towards Juliet, who was standing to one side looking even more timid than he did. ‘Apart from the pleasure of seeing you again, I’m sure we’re all greatly cheered to know that we’ve got a real medical doctor with us, in case of accidents. Come over here and tell us all about life in a big hospital.’

  Zoë saw a smile appear on Juliet’s face and was very impressed at Billy’s ability to get her involved. The old Billy would, if anything, have been hiding behind Juliet. He really had undergone an impressive change, even if she now knew that the old timid Billy was still lurking not far below the surface.

  They stood around chatting for a good while as the light faded outside and darkness fell. Zoë nibbled the delicious Stollen, the traditional Germanic Christmas cake. It was filled with candied peel and dried fruit, and emanated a wonderful aroma of cinnamon. It was soft, fresh and gorgeous. After talking to Daniela about her exercise programme, she spent some time with Lorna, doing her best to assess just what was going on inside her head. At university, Grant had described Lorna as being ‘the proverbial good time had by all’, and she had unquestionably earned herself a reputation as a man-eater. Now, however, Zoë somehow began to get the feeling that beneath the good-time-girl bluster, Lorna was maybe no longer quite so flighty. Zoë had always liked her, in spite of the excesses of her voracious sexual appetite, and she resolved to sit down and have a longer chat with her sometime this week.

  As six o’clock came and went, Zoë decided she could allow herself some champagne – not least to help her nerves as the time of her reunion with Grant approached. She helped herself to a glass and sat down to stroke the dog, who seemed to have taken a liking to her and had settled himself at her feet – mercifully no longer trying to attack her shoes. She was just taking a sip when she heard the door open, and this time, when she looked up, she saw that the moment she had been dreading had finally arrived.

  Grant stopped in the doorway, eyes scouring the room until he saw her. Without hesitation – ignoring everybody else in the room – he came straight across to her, and for a moment, it looked as though he was going to bend down and kiss her. Zoë recoiled, losing control of her glass, spilling champagne onto the Labrador and sending her mouthful down the wrong way. As she dissolved into a coughing fit, she saw the dog spring to his feet, shaking the wine off his back, and fix her with a puzzled look that was perfectly reflected in the eyes of the man standing above him. As she spotted the similarity, she felt a rising sense of the absurd, and her coughing fit swiftly turned into an attack of the giggles.

  ‘Zoë, are you all right?’

  Grant sounded concerned and puzzled. If the Labrador had been able to speak, she felt sure he would have asked the same question.

  As she wiped her eyes and did her best to regain some semblance of control, she saw Juliet march over to her assistance.

  ‘Good evening, Grant. Zoë’s just fine.’

  Juliet’s tone was far from cordial, as was her expression. This demonstration of support further cheered Zoë, and when she finally regained the power of speech, she found she was able to reply quite confidently.

  ‘Hello, Grant.’ She made no attempt to get up or to offer him even a handshake. Instead, she kept her attention on Arnie, stroking him as he slid down her ankles to the floor and rolled over on his back, paws waving in the air.

  There was an awkward pause, and then she heard Grant’s voice again.

  ‘Let me get you a refill.’

  She felt him remove her now empty glass from her hand and saw his feet disappear towards the refreshment tables. Only now did she raise her head. Juliet was standing over her protectively, a concerned look on her face.

  ‘Feeling okay?’ Juliet kept her voice low, although Grant was across at the other side of the room by now.

  Zoë gave her a grateful smile.

  ‘Better than expected, thanks, Jules. I’m fine now. Just my usual butterfingers, I’m afraid. You know what I’m like when it comes to spilling stuff.’

  ‘Under the circumstances, I’d say that was excusable. Anyway, remember I’m here if you need me.’

  When Grant returned with fresh champagne, he was accompanied by Billy, who gave Zoë an encouraging wink as he sought to ease any awkwardness by changing the subject.

  ‘There’s more snow forecast overnight tonight. Tomorrow should be perfect skiing conditions, although I’m afraid I have to go down to Salzburg for a series of meetings, more’s the pity. Anyway, don’t forget, Erika will have your ski passes later on tonight and you can pick up skis and boots from the shop directly opposite the hotel in the morning. They’ll be expecting you, so just give them your names and they’ll sort you out.’ He turned towards Grant. ‘How did you find it on the slopes this afternoon?’

  By now, Zoë was feeling much less worried, and to a great extent this was because she could see that Grant – normally so self-confident – was looking even more nervous than she had been. In fact he sounded quite tongue-tied as he mumbled a brief reply to Billy’s question.

  ‘Erm, great, super.’

  The realisation that he had probably been just as anxious about their reunion as she had was very reassuring. Somehow she had been expecting to find him displaying his usual cocky air. Seeing him like a shy teenager, with a nervous smile playing on the corners of his lips, did wonders for her confidence. It also considerably reduced the fear she had had that she might decide to pick something up and hit him with it.

  She deliberately ignored him as she made her apologies to her host.

  ‘Billy, I’m sorry for spilling that lovely champagne – you know me… But I see Arnie’s licked most of it up. Can dogs get drunk?’

  ‘Normal dogs, maybe. This one’s got the constitution of a goat. He’d probably drink the whole lot and then crunch up the bottle itself and swallow the pieces without batting an eyelid.’ Billy grinned at her, then glanced down benevolently at the dog. ‘He ate a perfectly good leather glove the other day, and managed to expel it the other end without any apparent discomfort – although it didn’t do the glove any good at all. Quite amazing. So, do you like the champagne? It’s from a little place near Epernay. I got them to ship me a dozen cases specially for this week.’

  Zoë took a sip and nodded appreciatively.

  ‘It’s amazing – just like the rest of this place. Thanks so much for having us.’

  ‘You are so very welcome.’

  ‘Zoë, is it all right if Bella and I come and sit with you?’

  Zoë looked up at the sound of Mandy’s voice. She, too, had clearly decided to join Juliet in a concerted show of solidarity in the face of Grant.

  ‘Of course, I’d be delighted.’

  ‘Grant, you haven’t met my wife yet, have you?’ Clearly Billy was still in full diplomatic mode. Zoë saw him lay a hand on Grant’s shoulder and steer him to the other side of the room, and yet again, she reflected on the change their once nerdy friend appeared to have undergone.

  She looked up and caught Mandy’s eye as she and her daughter sat down on the sofa alongside her.

  ‘Thanks, Mand.’ Zoë straightened up and transferred her attention to the little girl. ‘So, Bella, what do you think of this place?’

  ‘It’s wonderful. And I like the doggy. Do you like dogs, Zoë?’

  By this time, Arnie had stretched himself out over Zoë’s feet again and was making happy little canine grunts as he licked champagne off his forelegs. Zoë nodded.

  ‘I love them. We never had one at home because my mum’s allergic – you know, she gets all itchy if she touches a dog – but I’ve always wanted one. Sooner or later, when I settle down with a home o
f my own, I know I’ll get a dog.’

  ‘Haven’t you got a home of your own now?’

  ‘Well, yes, but there’s just me there. I meant when – if – I have a family.’ She found her eyes straying involuntarily across the room to the corner where Grant was deep in conversation with Daniela and Billy.

  ‘Haven’t you got a family either?’

  Bella would no doubt make a great counsel for the prosecution in years to come if she carried on like this.

  ‘Um, no. I mean, I’ve got my mum and dad, but I don’t live with them.’ Zoë smiled. She had forgotten how inquisitive little kids could be.

  ‘Why don’t you live with them?’

  ‘Because my job’s in London and they live in Bath.’

  ‘Why do they live in the bath?’

  At this point, Bella’s mother intervened to bale Zoë out.

  ‘It’s a place, darling. Now, tell Zoë all about your skiing lessons. I’m sure she’s dying to hear how you got on.’

  * * *

  Dinner that night was excellent. Zoë had never visited Austria before and she wasn’t quite sure what to expect. In fact, the meal was very cosmopolitan, with Italian bresaola, air-dried beef served with flakes of Parmesan cheese, Hungarian sausage, and local wild mushrooms in olive oil as a starter, and then piping-hot beef stew with British-style cauliflower cheese as a main course. They drank excellent dry white Austrian Grüner Veltliner and specially imported Gigondas red from Provence with the meal. The dessert was an Austrian speciality, and it was really, really good. Billy told them it was called Kaiserschmarrn – a sort of lightly fried sweet pancake made with raisins, shredded into rough pieces, sprinkled with sugar and served with a hot plum sauce. It tasted wonderful, and in spite of her resolve to take it easy with the food and drink, Zoë devoured a big portion. She wondered how many calories there were in something like this, but preferred not to ask.

  As it turned out, they needed all the calories they had consumed. At the end of the meal, Billy tapped his glass shyly and announced that he had arranged a little tour for them after dinner if they felt like it – and they all did. This turned out to be in horse-drawn sledges through the narrow streets of the old town, and it was a memorable experience.

  The horses were all decked out for Christmas, with embroidered coats on their backs and feathery headdresses. Even the drivers were wearing Father Christmas hats and white beards – either real or fake. The passengers were provided with heavy blankets to put over their knees, and they needed them, even though they were all wearing warm winter clothing. As Zoë’s eyes got used to the darkness, she realised that the white covering of snow everywhere meant that she could see her surroundings really quite easily. The sky was still clear, in spite of the forecast of snow, and the stars were twinkling in all their glory, their light reflecting back up from the snow-covered ground. The stars might have been orbs of superheated burning gas, but down here on earth it was very, very cold.

  There were two sledges, with space for up to six people in each – three facing forwards, three backwards. Zoë was relieved to see Grant get into the first one, along with Imogen and her husband, Mandy, Martin and little Bella. In the second one, Zoë found herself sitting alongside Billy, with Daniela on the other side of him, while opposite them were Juliet and Lorna. Somewhere under the blanket between her and Billy, Zoë felt the presence of the dog, and he provided welcome warmth to her legs as the horses trotted down to the old town, sleigh bells ringing, the sound of their hooves echoing through the streets, occasionally muffled by the snow as they crossed bits the snowploughs hadn’t reached.

  The old town was unmistakably Austrian, most of the buildings either made of wood or clad with wood. Although they weren’t technically in the Tyrol, Billy assured them that the architecture was definitely Tyrolean. He explained that the Tyrol started only a few kilometres away from where they were. Indeed, Germany wasn’t far to the north, with Italy just the other side of the big range of mountains to the south. Little wonder, then, that the menu tonight had been international.

  The central area was a pedestrian zone, and here the snow was still thick on the ground. Hotels, bars and restaurants provided occasional patches of light as they glided past, and illuminated Christmas decorations hung across the road. The Christmas trees at the side of the road were now all lit up, and the whole place had a decidedly festive air to it. In many of the windows were candles and wonderful arrangements of greenery and pine cones, and a massive Christmas tree stood at the end of the street, with a glittering star at its top. The whole place had a magical feel to it and Zoë could imagine little Bella’s eyes sparkling with wonder. She smiled to herself. It promised to be a fun week. After all, there was nothing better than seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child.

  There were few, if any, street lights, and for much of the time the driver navigated by starlight. They came across odd groups of people walking along the snow-covered street, the dry snow crunching, almost squeaking, underneath their feet in the freezing temperature. It didn’t take long to reach the other end of what was a very small town, and then the sledges returned to the hotel in a broad loop via a track through the snow-covered fields. The only sounds now were the muffled crunch of the horses’ hooves in the snow and the gentle jingling of their decorative bells. The passengers could all see their own breath in the freezing air, and when they got back, they discovered that Martin’s moustache was heavy with icicles. In spite of the blanket and the warm Labrador, Zoë herself was almost shivering with cold, and she made a mental note to put on an extra layer when she went skiing next morning.

  Back at the hotel, Mandy and Bella retired to bed, while the rest of them headed for the bar to thaw out. Billy – ever the perfect host – offered them Glühwein and, although she was tempted, Zoë chose a glass of hot milk and honey instead. This did not go unnoticed.

  ‘Shame on you, Zo. It’s barely half past ten and you’re drinking warm milk.’ Lorna’s voice was gently mocking. ‘You’ll be turning up in your dressing gown, curlers and slippers next. Come on, live a little. You’re only thirty.’

  ‘Thirty-two, but who’s counting?’

  As she said it, Zoë’s eyes flicked across to Grant. She had been a full year younger this time last year when Grant had informed her he was leaving her for another woman. She dropped her eyes and snorted silently into her hot milk. She hadn’t exchanged a single word with him since acknowledging his arrival, and she felt relieved. Over the months since the break-up, she had passed through an angry phase, a bitterly sad phase, then another angry one, followed by a more introspective stage when she had questioned whether she, too, bore some responsibility for his decision to leave. Could she have done more? Should she have done more? Lately, this had subsided into simple regret, but it was an ever-present nagging ache. Hopefully this holiday would be the cure she needed, allowing her to finally lay the memory of their time together to rest.

  Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Daniela’s voice.

  ‘I’m surprised. You don’t look thirty-two, Zoë.’

  Zoë looked up and flashed her a smile.

  ‘Thanks, Daniela. That does wonders for my self-confidence.’

  The next voice belonged to her ex.

  ‘She’s right, you know, Zo. You look great.’

  There was silence in the room as everybody – Zoë included – looked across at Grant. She could almost feel the anticipation as her friends waited with bated breath for her response. She took her time about it, wondering what, if anything, to say in reply. Finally she decided that to say nothing would risk poisoning what had been a lovely evening for everybody, so she limited herself to the bare minimum.

  ‘I’ve been telling you for years to get your eyes tested, Grant.’

  She decided against saying any more, but she was surprised to see what he did next. He reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a slim leather case. From it he produced a pair of reading glasses, and set them on his nose.r />
  ‘And I took your advice, Zo. So, what do you think? The absent-minded professor or what?’

  ‘I think they make you look rather distinguished.’ Lorna sounded quite impressed, but after the amount she had drunk today, her judgement wasn’t to be trusted.

  In fact, in a funny way, Zoë thought, the glasses didn’t look out of place on him. For the first time today she allowed herself to subject him to close scrutiny. He was still tall and good-looking – his light brown hair now cut much shorter than before, but it still suited him. Like herself, it looked as though he had been working out and, if anything, he looked better than the last time she had seen him. Glasses or no glasses, he was still a handsome man. She steadfastly refused to allow even the slightest frisson of regret – or attraction – to run through her, but it wasn’t easy.

  Everybody was still looking at her, waiting for her answer, so she swallowed the rest of her milk and stood up, fortunately managing to avoid tripping over the dog as she did so.

  ‘As long as they do the job, it doesn’t matter what they look like.’

  With that, she decided it was best not to say anything more to him tonight. She had acknowledged his existence, and she had been grown up enough to talk to him in civil tones, hadn’t even considered picking up a chair and smacking him with it, in spite of the way he had treated her, but enough was enough. Setting down her empty glass, she went across to Billy and Daniela and gave them both a warm smile and a hug.

  ‘Thank you most sincerely for inviting me here to this wonderful place. I know it’s going to be a fabulous Christmas and I’m going to do my best to enjoy every minute of it.’