Leveraging Your Financial Intelligence Read online

  Donna chose her new career as a financial advisor because she was attracted to the opportunity to help clients explore their dreams and clarify how financial choices could make them a reality. For Donna, it wasn't about the money. In learning the role of the financial advisor, Donna resonated with opportunities to coach people to achieve their life goals, both financial and nonfinancial, so she may have minimized the primary requirement of her job, which was to propose investments and optimize clients' financial gains. When Donna realized the primacy of selling financial products, she mastered the investment side of the business and spent the next 18 years as a successful financial services advisor helping people achieve their personal goals by making smart financial decisions. While working with clients, Donna was always aware that her major source of satisfaction was a result of the long-term relationships she formed with her clients. Donna continued to feel that spending most of her professional life dealing with money and investments was not deeply satisfying.

  Over the course of a long career managing a successful financial advisory practice, Donna gradually came to believe that a more holistic approach to financial advice—one that would place more emphasis on values, purpose, and personal goals—was something she wanted to pursue. Donna began to take life coaching classes and work to integrate life coaching strategies into her financial advisory practice. Donna found it personally difficult to blend her approach to life coaching with financial advice.1 Although Donna had learned a lot about money, to her family's benefit and that of her clients, she gradually realized that in continuing as a financial advisor, she wasn't being fully true to her purpose. Donna's real passion was to help clients clarify their life purpose and implement goals that would address all-important areas of their lives. After 18 years as a successful financial advisor and considerable reflection on her life purpose and goals, Donna sold her practice and started from scratch as a life coach. Donna felt that her life purpose was to help others discover what mattered most to them. She sees her purpose as a life coach today as really about “setting her clients free internally.” Donna considers herself successful when she sees that with her help, clients are freed to love their lives and love themselves.

  LIVING ON PURPOSE

  For Donna, each career shift was preceded by a period of deep reflection through which she became increasingly clear about her life purpose, and became better able to set more precise professional goals aligned with her deepest values. In doing that, Donna instinctively followed the Alignment Model, which as discussed in Chapter 2, maps out the key challenge of living a good life, that is, doing what we need to do to make our real selves (Frame 3) as close as possible to our ideal selves (Frame 1)—the way we want to be, based on principles and values.

  The journey of “making the ideal real” necessarily requires an intermediate stop at Frame 2—Goals. The foundation of our ideal selves, principles, and values is broad and general. Frame 2 is all about defining concrete behaviors (Frame 3) that reflect our principles and values (Frame 1). As you'll recall, Frame 2 includes different levels of goals:

  Purpose—a high-level goal that represents what we want our life to mean

  Goals—specific desired achievements aligned with our most important values

  Scientists who study behavior tell us that humans have an innate need to make sense out of their lives. We constantly develop theories to explain why events happen as they do. We have an even deeper need to understand the meaning of our lives. How do our day-to-day events combine to create a coherent whole? What is the point of doing what we do? If we can begin to answer those questions, we have the beginning of our highest goal—our life's purpose. Everyone's life purpose is distinctively their own, but any purpose worth having is consistent with universal principles. Though service to others is frequently part of one's purpose, you don't have to be another Mother Teresa to serve a worthwhile purpose. Purpose is about finding how to use your gifts and skills in some personally meaningful way. Your purpose may be to create art, to be a great parent, invent new products, or become a philosopher. Your purpose is what makes your life worth living. And you get to decide what that is.

  National Geographic fellow and author Dan Buettner has extensively studied “Blue Zones,” areas of exceptional longevity in different parts of the world. One of these Blue Zones, Okinawa, is an island in southernmost Japan. According to Buettner, Okinawans in their nineties and beyond attribute their long lives in part to their “ikigai”—their purpose, their reason for being. Okinawans literally define ikigai as their “reason for getting up in the morning.”2 Other researchers support Buettner's findings. Residents of the Japanese village with the world's highest percentage of centenarians explained to authors Héctor Garcia and Francesc Miralles that finding ikigai is key to a happy life. Garcia and Miralles also believe that ikigai is the reason why many Japanese don't retire, since according to their studies of the Okinawan culture, the essence of ikigai is to remain active doing enjoyable work.3 Of course, Okinawans do not represent the only culture that emphasizes the benefits of living in alignment with your purpose. For instance, in the Costa Rican “Blue Zone” of Nicoya, elders emphasize the importance of a concept very similar to ikigai, the “plan de vida.”4

  In addition to field studies such as these, controlled scientific research has validated the relationship between sense of purpose and longevity. For example, a study conducted at the University of Rochester Medical Center found that having a purpose in life reduced the risk of dying for people of all ages. Their findings imply that developing and maintaining a strong purpose in life is as important when people are young as it is at much older ages.5

  The research on the relationship between sense of purpose, health, and overall well-being is undeniable. But perhaps the most compelling argument for the importance of purpose in our lives is captured in a story by Richard Leider, nationally recognized executive-life coach and best-selling author of The Power of Purpose, who tells of a question he was once asked by the elder of an African tribe: “What are the two most important days of your life?” Richard answered, “The day I was born, and the day I will die.” The elder told him, “You are wrong. The two most important days in your life are the day you were born, and the day you determine why you were born.”6

  What exactly is purpose? According to Richard Leider:

  Our purpose is the essence of who we are and what makes us unique. Our purpose is an active expression of the deepest dimension within us—where we have a profound sense of who we are and why we're here. Purpose is the aim around which we structure our lives, a source of direction and energy. Through the lens of purpose, we are able to see ourselves—and our future—more clearly …. Purpose is what gives life a meaning.7

  Many of us may, in Richard Leider's words, “…believe we have a purpose but are challenged by what it may be or how to find out.”8 If you're not already clear about your life's purpose, and have a longing to find out, be prepared to spend some time in reflection. To help you better understand your life purpose, use the exercise “What Is Your Life's Purpose?,” based on Richard Leider's work, to help provide you more insight about your life's purpose.

  EXERCISE: WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?9

  Take some time to reflect on the questions below. Answering these questions can help you clarify the high-level meaning and direction that you would like your life to take. You may also find it useful to discuss your responses with a close family member or friend.

  What are my talents?

  What am I passionate about?

  What do I obsess about, daydream about?

  What do I wish I had more time to put energy into?

  What needs doing in the world that I'd like to put my talents to work on?

  What are the main areas in which I'd like to invest my talents?

  What environments or settings feel most natural to me?

  In what work and life situations am I most comfortable expressing my talents?

  Your purpose m
ay already be clear. Even if you don't already know your purpose, awareness about your purpose may come to you quickly. It may also evolve gradually, as it did for Donna Krone. Richard Leider suggests occasionally taking a day away from your normal routine to reflect on what really matters to you. Take along a copy of the Life Purpose exercise, a pen and some colored pencils, and sheets of blank paper.

  You can find a copy of the exercise “What Is Your Life's Purpose?” in Appendix C or you can download a copy from the book Toolkit at www.leveragingfi.com.

  Maybe your thoughts will come to you in words. You might also find yourself doodling or making sketches that capture your response to the worksheet questions. After you've responded to the worksheet questions, put them aside for a few days. Then return to those questions. Ask yourself if they still strike a chord in you. Would you answer them the same way today as you did the first time? What would you add or change about your responses to the Life Purpose exercise? Taking time to engage in this process of discovery may be one of the most important things you do as part of reading this book. You may also discover that taking the time to explore your life purpose is not just a serious process—it's also a lot of fun. Focusing on your life purpose can help you feel lighter and happier as you release obstacles to happiness and move closer to making your ideal self your real self.

  Once you're feeling confident about your life purpose, you're much more likely to fulfill your purpose if you can clearly imagine what your life would be like when you are acting in alignment with your purpose. In Doug Lennick and Roy Geer's book, How to Get What You Want and Remain True to Yourself, they discuss a self-image theory, which says, “You will become what you believe yourself to be.”10 Doug and Roy advocate taking advantage of a powerful practice used by elite athletes—using their minds to visualize themselves performing perfectly. This practice has become commonplace in sports training, and it's just as effective when it comes to living a happy and fulfilled life. In fact, visualizing life purpose may be even more important than visualizing perfect performance in sports, where athletes typically only need to operate at peak performance for a short period of time. Life is a full-time sport, so the impact of visualizing ourselves successfully living our purpose 24/7 can be profound. To help visualize what it would be like to live in alignment with your life purpose, use the following exercise.

  EXERCISE: VISUALIZE YOURSELF LIVING YOUR PURPOSE11

  Sit or lie down in a relaxing spot.

  Take some deep breaths, and focus in turn on each part of your body from head to toe, allowing your muscles to loosen and relax as you concentrate on each part of your body.

  While continuing to breathe naturally, imagine yourself near the end of your life.

  Reflect on your life to this point in time. Throughout the years, what has given your life the most meaning and purpose?

  Allow yourself to feel a sense of contentment as you realize that you are fulfilling your purpose.

  After spending a few minutes in reflection, open your eyes and return to the present, while maintaining a sense of satisfaction about a life well-lived.

  You can find a copy of the exercise “Visualize Yourself Living Your Purpose” in Appendix D.

  You can also access an audio guide for visualizing your life purpose from the book Toolkit at www.leveragingfi.com.

  Hopefully, by now you have clarified your life purpose, and can express it to yourself and others you trust. Your life purpose may evolve over time, but for now, it's enough that you feel good about your sense of purpose as you understand it at this point in your life. With your purpose in mind, your next step on the way to financial, physical, and emotional well-being is to set goals.

  WHAT ON EARTH IS “WIDDY WIFFY”?

  Our approach to goal achievement is called the WDYWFY model. WDYWFY is an acronym for “What Do You Want For Yourself?” WDYWFY is pronounced “widdy wiffy.” Co-author Roy Geer originated the model in the 1960s. Over the last 50 years or so, thousands of people have used the WDYWFY model to help them decide what they want for themselves—and successfully achieve their goals. As Roy shared with co-author Doug Lennick in late 1974, when Doug was 22 and Roy was 47, goal achievement is as simple as implementing five profoundly simple steps. Doug soon realized goal achievement is indeed simple but is definitely not easy. WDYWFY consists of those five profoundly simple steps (Figure 3.1).

  FIGURE 3.1 WIDYWFY

  A friendly warning: The WDYWFY model is truly simple. But as already said, it doesn't mean it's easy. Setting and achieving goals in any area of life is not easy. For example, think about Americans' most common New Year's resolutions, such as losing weight, quitting smoking, or saving more money. Only 8 percent of those who make New Year's resolutions feel they have succeeded in achieving their resolution.12

  WDYWFY is a process with a proven track record of helping people actually achieve their goals. WDYWFY is a model you can use to dramatically boost your odds of achieving your financial, health, and happiness goals.

  STEP 1: HAVE A GOAL

  People who know what they want have a much better chance of getting it than when they don't know what they want. So an obvious first step is to have a goal. Let's clarify what a goal is—and isn't: A goal is something we want for ourselves. But not everything we want is a goal. There are many things we want in life, but to have them, we need to understand what we must do to achieve them. To turn wants into goals, wants must pass the “acid test.”

  The acid test for a goal is the ability to answer two questions:

  Am I able to pay the price to reach my goal?

  Am I willing to invest the time, money, or other resources needed to reach my goal?

  Able and willing are two different things. Doug uses this example to make the distinction between the two: Doug, a basketball fan and amateur player, would love to be able to slam-dunk a basketball into a regulation hoop. He is very willing to do whatever it would take: coaching, practice, anything. But no matter how willing Doug is to invest in trying to reach that goal, he isn't able. Doug's doesn't have the physiology to perform like an elite player, and no amount of coaching or practice will make that possible. Doug's dream of slam-dunking the basketball will always be just that—a want that doesn't pass the acid test, and therefore is not a goal.

  One of the major benefits of the acid test is to help you prioritize the importance of a number of potentially worthwhile goals. For example, if your top value is “family happiness,” you may need to postpone training for your adventure-fueled desire to climb Mt. Everest, which would take you away from your family for extended periods of time. You also need to be realistic about your capacity to work on multiple goals at the same time. Everything you want may be meaningful and aligned with your values, but your available time and resources may limit how much you can accomplish in any given time frame. Here's an example of why the acid test is important: Those people who achieve their financial goals tend to invest their money. Those people who don't achieve their financial goals tend to spend their money. It's the same with other goals, say for health and happiness. Those people who achieve their life goals tend to invest their time in working to accomplish them. Those people who don't achieve their life goals tend to spend their time in an undisciplined way.

  Use the worksheet “Turning Wants into Goals” to reflect on potential goals (What I Want), determine what you would need to do to accomplish each goal (Key Activities), and decide whether you can and will do what it takes to make what you want a reality (the Acid Test).

  WORKSHEET: TURNING WANTS INTO GOALS

  What I Want … Key Activities “Must Do” actions needed to accomplish this goal. Does What You Want Pass the Acid Test? Can I and will I do all it takes to turn this want into a goal?

  Financially •

  •

  •

  •

  For My Health •

  •

  •

  •

  For My Overall Happiness •

  �
�

  •

  •

  Other Want: •

  •

  •

  You can find a copy of the “Turning Wants into Goals” worksheet in Appendix E. You can also download copies from the book Toolkit at www.leveragingfi.com.

  Fortunately, many things you want will qualify as goals if you are both willing and able to do what it takes to get where you want to go. Co-author Ryan Goulart tells this story about trying to turn a long-held want into a goal.

  RYAN'S STORY

  In December 2015, my wife, Joanie, and I began planning for a big trip to Europe in 2016. It had been about 10 years since either of us had traveled overseas, and we'd never been to Europe together. I am an avid soccer fan and had never been to France, where the 2016 European Championship was to be played. It had always been a dream of mine to be able to see this tournament. The tournament was to be held in June 2016. This would give Joanie and me enough time to save the necessary funds to travel to France and have enough money to see other sights while there. What made the trip even more inviting was that one of my best friends from high school was doing fieldwork for his doctoral dissertation in nearby Germany. So, we reworked our budget and cut back on optional spending to save for our trip.

  Hints that we needed to adjust our plans came to light only a few months before we were scheduled to fly to France. We thought we were on track with our vacation savings, but traveling in France during the high season and dealing with inflated prices caused by the soccer tournament was turning out to be more expensive than we could afford. And my friend wasn't going to be able to meet us in France in June because of a conflict with his field research schedule.