Rabbit Hole Read online

  NAT

  It doesn’t sound very good.

  BECCA

  It’s okay. He’s young.

  NAT

  Keep it?

  BECCA

  (Takes the story) Yeah, we should keep it. I’ll just put it in the box.

  (Becca puts the story inside the keep box. Nat goes back to cleaning. Becca contemplates telling her something, and finally relents. She tries to sound offhand.)

  I think I’m gonna see him actually.

  NAT

  Who?

  BECCA

  Jason Willette.

  (Beat.)

  NAT

  Why?

  BECCA

  I don’t know. I just ... want to.

  NAT

  What about Howie?

  BECCA

  Howie’s not really into it.

  NAT

  Well I thought it was weird. The way he walked in like that. Creepy. You don’t think that was creepy?

  BECCA

  Not really.

  NAT

  Well I think it was creepy. You should ask Howie what he thinks.

  BECCA

  I don’t have to ask him what he thinks. Frankly I don’t care what he thinks.

  NAT

  I’m just saying.

  (After a beat, Howie appears in the doorway. He looks around. The bed has been stripped. The walls are bare. He regrets popping in, but it’s too late now.)

  BECCA

  Hey.

  HOWIE

  How’s it goin’?

  BECCA

  Fine.

  HOWIE

  Good.

  (Beat.)

  I thought we could put the brown bedspread in here.

  BECCA

  Okay.

  HOWIE

  And maybe hang the Ansel Adams prints that are in the basement?

  BECCA

  Sounds like a plan.

  HOWIE

  Making progress I see.

  BECCA

  Yup.

  HOWIE

  Good. Looks good.

  (Pause.)

  I’m gonna take Taz for a walk. You need anything while I’m out?

  BECCA

  I don’t think so.

  HOWIE

  Okay.

  (To Nat) Thanks for helping out, Nat.

  NAT

  Sure.

  (He goes.)

  BECCA

  (Whispers) I hate that bedspread. I’m gonna put the blue one on. It’s neutral enough.

  (They work in silence. Nat suddenly smiles. She remembers something.)

  NAT

  Hey, you know what I was thinking of this morning?

  BECCA

  What?

  NAT

  (Chuckling a little already) Remember that gourmet basket you and Howie got me for Mother’s Day last year, with the biscotti and the fancy biscuits? And I put the chocolates out when you came over for dinner, and Danny ate the entire bowl of chocolates when no one was looking?

  BECCA

  (She’s heard this story many times) Yup.

  NAT

  And then Howie was like, “Where’d all the chocolates go?” And I said, “Danny ate them. Leave him alone, kids like candy.” And then Howie said, “But those were chocolate-covered espresso beans!” Remember?

  BECCA

  I do.

  NAT

  But Danny had eaten the whole bowl, so he was, you know, really really wired. And running in circles and climbing up the walls, and putting things on his head, and he was up until like three A.M. Remember that?

  BECCA

  Only too well.

  NAT

  I didn’t know what the damn things were. I just thought they were candy. You get me these fancy baskets with all this crazy stuff in’em—espresso beans. I tell that story to everyone. People get a kick out of it.

  (Becca smiles.)

  BECCA

  (After a beat) Mom?

  (Nat looks up at her.)

  Does it go away?

  NAT

  What.

  BECCA

  This feeling. Does it ever go away?

  (Beat.)

  NAT

  No. I don’t think it does. Not for me it hasn’t. And that’s goin’ on eleven years.

  (Beat.)

  It changes though.

  BECCA

  How?

  NAT

  I don’t know. The weight of it, I guess. At some point it becomes bearable. It turns into something you can crawl out from under.

  And carry around—like a brick in your pocket. And you forget it every once in a while, but then you reach in for whatever reason and there it is: “Oh right. That.” Which can be awful. But not all the time. Sometimes it’s kinda ... Not that you like it exactly, but it’s what you have instead of your son, so you don’t wanna let go of it either. So you carry it around. And it doesn’t go away, which is ...

  BECCA

  What.

  NAT

  Fine ... actually.

  (They’re silent for a couple beats. Becca nods a little. She goes back to work. So does Nat.

  The lights fade.)

  SCENE THREE

  A few days later. Jason is sitting on the couch in the living room. He looks around. Becca enters from the kitchen with a plate.

  BECCA

  I made some lemon squares.

  (She holds out the lemon squares, and he takes one and a napkin.)

  JASON

  Thank you.

  BECCA

  Can I get you milk or something? I don’t have any soda. Unless you want seltzer.

  JASON

  I’m fine.

  BECCA

  You’ll need something to wash it down though. You don’t drink coffee, do you?

  JASON

  Sometimes.

  BECCA

  You want coffee?

  JASON

  No thanks. Really, I’m okay.

  BECCA

  All right. But let me know if you change your mind.

  (She joins him on the couch. Jason takes a bite of lemon square.)

  JASON

  It’s good.

  BECCA

  Thank you.

  JASON

  Still warm.

  (She smiles. Pause.)

  So, you’re moving?

  BECCA

  We’re thinking about it. If we can find a buyer.

  JASON

  Where are you moving to?

  BECCA

  We’re still looking.

  JASON

  Far away?

  BECCA

  Probably not, no. My husband works in the city, so we can’t go that far.

  JASON

  What does he do?

  BECCA

  He works at Prime Brokerage. Risk management.

  JASON

  (Doesn’t know what that is) Uh-huh.

  BECCA

  He takes the train in.

  JASON

  Right.

  BECCA

  So we don’t wanna go too far.

  JASON

  It’s a nice house. I hope you find one as nice as this.

  BECCA

  We’ll probably go smaller. This is too big.

  (Jason goes back to the lemon square.)

  I’m sorry Howie couldn’t be here.

  JASON

  That’s okay.

  BECCA

  He’s, uh ...

  JASON

  Not ready?

  BECCA

  I was gonna say working, but yeah, that too.

  JASON

  He seemed mad. The other day.

  BECCA

  No, he was just surprised that you dropped by.

  JASON

  Okay.

  BECCA

  You just scared him a little bit.

  JASON

  He didn’t seem scared.

  BECCA

  Yeah well ... Maybe that’s not the right word. But ... Howie’s not
mad at you. What happened was an accident. Howie knows that.

  (Beat.)

  You know that, too, right?

  (Jason takes a bite of lemon square. Taz barks out back. Becca cringes.)

  That bark goes right through me. I swear, we better move somewhere without squirrels.

  JASON

  You should have his vocal cords snipped.

  BECCA

  What?

  JASON

  That’s what some people do. If their dogs won’t stop barking.

  BECCA

  Huh. I’ve never heard of that.

  JASON

  Yeah, because some dogs just never shut up. So that’s what they have to do. Otherwise the alternative is give ’em away. Or put ’em to sleep, I guess. You should look it up online. I bet there’s all sorts of information, if you’re interested.

  BECCA

  No, Howie would never allow it. He loves that dog too much.

  (Beat.)

  Do you have any pets?

  JASON

  No.

  BECCA

  Well that’s lucky.

  JASON

  Yeah?

  BECCA

  Unless you want a pet. Do you want a pet? Because I’ve got one you can borrow. Just kidding.

  (Pause. Jason notices a book on the coffee table.)

  JASON

  We read that book.

  BECCA

  Bleak House?

  JASON

  Yeah, in English class.

  BECCA

  Did you like it?

  JASON

  Not really. It’s too long.

  BECCA

  I know. I barely made it through.

  JASON

  I liked David Copperfield though.

  BECCA

  Also very long.

  JASON

  Yeah, but it didn’t feel as long.

  BECCA

  No, you’re right.

  (Pause.)

  JASON

  So, I don’t see any photos anywhere.

  BECCA

  Of Danny?

  JASON

  Yeah.

  BECCA

  Well, we put most of them away. Because of the open house.

  JASON

  Okay.

  BECCA

  Do you want to see pictures? Because I could—

  JASON

  No thank you.

  (Beat.)

  BECCA

  Okay.

  JASON

  The one in the article was nice though. Him at the beach.

  BECCA

  That’s at Anneport Bay.

  JASON

  I used to have a shirt just like that one. The one he’s wearing in the picture.

  (Beat.)

  I might’ve been going too fast. That day. I’m not sure, but I might’ve been. So ... that’s one of the things I wanted to tell you.

  (Beat.)

  It’s a thirty zone. And I might’ve been going thirty-three. Or thirty-two. I would usually look down, to check, and if I was a little over, then I’d slow down obviously. But I don’t remember checking on your block, so it’s possible I was going a little too fast. And then the dog came out, really quick, and so I swerved a little to avoid him, not knowing, obviously ...

  (Beat.)

  So that’s something I thought you should know. I might’ve been going a little over the limit. I can’t be positive either way though.

  (Pause.)

  BECCA

  I’m gonna get you some milk. You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want it.

  JASON

  Okay.

  (Becca heads into the kitchen. She gets a glass from a cabinet and fills it with milk.)

  BECCA

  So you’re a senior?

  JASON

  Yeah.

  BECCA

  Where you headed in the fall?

  JASON

  Connecticut College. They have a good writing program.

  BECCA

  Oh, well that’s nice for you. And not too far from home. Your parents must be happy about that.

  JASON

  It’s just my mom, but yeah, she’s happy about it. She’s already started picking out sheet sets for the dorm room.

  BECCA

  Uh-huh.

  JASON

  She keeps saying she’s gonna apply to the graduate program so she can keep an eye on me while I’m up there. She’s just joking though.

  BECCA

  Right.

  JASON

  She’s not really looking forward to it, since I’m the only one at home now, but I told her I’d come back on the weekends when I could.

  BECCA

  That’ll be nice.

  (She reenters, brings him the milk.)

  There ya go.

  JASON

  Thanks.

  (He puts the milk down.)

  BECCA

  And you graduate when?

  JASON

  Thursday. Matt Lauer is gonna speak. His niece is in my class.

  BECCA

  Well that’s great. I like Matt Lauer.

  JASON

  Yeah. So does my mom.

  BECCA

  So you must have a prom coming up then.

  JASON

  It was last Saturday actually.

  BECCA

  And you went?

  JASON

  Yeah.

  BECCA

  Do you have a girlfriend or—

  JASON

  No. I mean, I did, but we broke up a while ago, so I went with this girl Carly who’s just a friend, and this other girl Tina went with this guy Jake whose dad owns this old-fashioned Rolls-Royce that he brings to car shows and stuff, so we all went in that together.

  BECCA

  That must’ve been fun.

  JASON

  Yeah, it was a tight squeeze though, because no one wanted to sit up front, but it worked out. We had champagne in the back—not to get drunk or anything, just to celebrate—but Carly is really skinny so she got a little tipsy, even though she barely had like one glass of champagne. And she kept telling the driver to put the top down because she wanted to stand up in the back and act crazy, but the car wasn’t even a convertible, so we essentially made fun of her all night for that. That part was pretty funny.

  (Becca has been tearing up while listening. And with little warning, she is crying. A lot. It goes on for a few beats. Jason just sits, not sure what to do.)

  BECCA

  I’m sorry.

  JASON

  No, that was stupid of me.

  BECCA

  I asked.

  JASON

  Still, I shouldn’t have—Should I go?

  BECCA

  No. I’m fine.

  (She collects herself. She grabs a kleenex and blows her nose.)

  I’m sorry.

  (They sit in silence for a couple beats.)

  So did you have a good time? At the prom?

  JASON

  It was okay.

  BECCA

  Well it sounds like it was very nice.

  (Beat.)

  I liked that story you sent by the way. I’m sorry we never thanked you for it.

  JASON

  That’s okay.

  BECCA

  We appreciated it.

  (She grabs another kleenex and wipes her nose.)

  So the scientist that the boy is looking for ...

  JASON

  Yeah?

  BECCA

  Is that your dad?

  (Beat.)

  JASON

  No.

  BECCA

  I mean, is it based on him?

  JASON

  No. My dad was an English teacher.

  BECCA

  Oh. Okay. I was just curious about that part. He is dead though, right?

  JASON

  It’s just a story.

  BECCA

  No, I know. I’m sorry. It’s none of my business. I was just ...
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  JASON

  Reading into it?

  BECCA

  Yeah.

  (Beat.)

  Well, anyway, I liked it very much. It reminded me of Orpheus and Eurydice. Do you know that Greek myth?

  JASON

  Not really.

  BECCA

  Eurydice dies, and Orpheus misses her so much, that he travels to Hades to retrieve her, but in the end it doesn’t work out.

  JASON

  I should read it.

  BECCA

  Yeah, it’s similar. But instead of Hades, you have the rabbit holes. The parallel universes. It’s interesting. I liked that part.

  JASON

  Thank you.

  BECCA

  Is that something you believe in?

  JASON

  Parallel universes?

  BECCA