Rabbit Hole Read online

  IZZY

  Afraida who?

  HOWIE

  Fisbo: For Sale By Owner. No middleman. I was trying to avoid the commission but we probably need one.

  (Regarding sign-in sheet) This was a wash I think. (Looking over clipboard) I thought we had a bite with that family—the little girl. Nothing though. Maybe I priced it too high. Or they were just browsing maybe.

  IZZY

  (Eating) You freaked them out, Howie.

  (Beat.)

  HOWIE

  No, I didn’t. What are you talking about?

  IZZY

  You should’ve cleaned out Danny’s room. Made it look like a guest room or something. An office, or whatever.

  HOWIE

  Why?

  IZZY

  Because everyone that went in there was like, “Oh, you have a son, how old is he?” Did you think people wouldn’t ask that?

  HOWIE

  I didn’t think about it. I just thought it’d be good for them to see there was a nice room for a kid.

  IZZY

  But common sense, Howie. You’ve got these robot sheets on the bed, the conversation’s gonna come up. And so everyone asks, and then you tell them, and then there’s this weirdness in the air.

  HOWIE

  Only two people asked. That’s all.

  IZZY

  Well you ooged them out. If you had a kid, would you wanna move into a house where a boy just died? People believe in that stuff, you know. House karma, or whatever you wanna call it.

  HOWIE

  Well they’re stupid then.

  IZZY

  Yeah, they are. But if you wanna sell your house you gotta take that into consideration. I can’t believe I’m giving you business advice.

  HOWIE

  Is that what this is?

  IZZY

  I’m just saying, sometimes you gotta sort out what is and isn’t appropriate to say to people.

  HOWIE

  It isn’t appropriate to talk about my son?

  IZZY

  Uh-uh, you’re not pulling me into that conversation. You wanna tell total strangers all about Danny and how he died, it’s none of my business. God knows it’s something you enjoy doing, so you go ahead. But don’t be surprised if nobody wants to buy your house.

  (Finishes torte) Good god, Becca has gotta stop baking. I’m gynormous.

  (We hear the dog barking out in the yard. Howie looks outside.)

  Someone coming?

  HOWIE

  (Regarding Taz) No, he’s just mad he’s still tied up.

  IZZY

  (Looks at her watch, then) So, hey, let me ask you something ...

  (Beat.)

  HOWIE

  All right.

  IZZY

  Why is Becca so mad at me? Is it just because I’m pregnant or ...

  HOWIE

  Becca’s not mad at you.

  IZZY

  Then why does she act so pissed at me sometimes?

  HOWIE

  I don’t know. You should ask her.

  IZZY

  I can’t.

  HOWIE

  Why not?

  IZZY

  Because that’ll only make her more pissed.

  HOWIE

  Yeah, probably, but—

  IZZY

  Is it because she blames me? A little bit maybe?

  HOWIE

  Oh my god, Izzy ...

  IZZY

  Because if I hadn’t called to bitch about Mom she wouldn’t have left Danny to run in to—

  HOWIE

  Ten months later and you’re asking me this?

  IZZY

  Well, I don’t know.

  HOWIE

  No, Izzy. No. Nobody blames you.

  IZZY

  Okay.

  (Beat.)

  So it’s just the baby then. The fact that I’m having a baby.

  HOWIE

  Honestly, I don’t think Becca’s mood has anything to do with you.

  IZZY

  She thinks I can’t do it. Right? I’m not cut out to be a good mother?

  HOWIE

  She doesn’t think that. You should really be having this conversation with her.

  IZZY

  I know I’ve been a fuck-up, but people get their shit together.

  HOWIE

  Of course they do.

  IZZY

  And maybe I’m not as organized as Becca, or homey, or whatever—

  HOWIE

  Nobody’s comparing you.

  IZZY

  Really? Because that’d be a first.

  HOWIE

  Everyone’s excited about the baby, Iz. But you gotta understand that there’s other stuff going on around here.

  IZZY

  I’m not talking about the other stuff. I’m talking about me being a capable person who can raise a child, and look after it and protect it. I resent the feeling I get from her, and you too sometimes, honestly, that I don’t deserve the baby. Or that I’m not mature enough, or smart enough or something, to take care of it. I mean, my god, if my mother could do it, how hard could it be?

  (Beat.)

  HOWIE

  You’d be surprised.

  IZZY

  Hey, that’s not what I ... I just want to feel like you guys have some faith in me, because I’m up to it.

  HOWIE

  Great. I hope you are.

  IZZY

  Oh, you hope. Thanks, Howie.

  HOWIE

  I don’t know where you want this conversation to go. And I really don’t know why you’re having it with me.

  (Glances at his watch) Aw fuck it. Nobody’s coming.

  (Howie takes off his suit jacket. He tosses it onto the couch, then heads into the kitchen.)

  IZZY

  Are you mad?

  HOWIE

  No.

  IZZY

  You seem mad.

  HOWIE

  (From kitchen) I’m just getting a beer. You want one?

  IZZY

  No, I don’t want a beer. God.

  (Howie gets himself a beer out of the fridge, then reenters from the kitchen.)

  Can I ask you something else?

  HOWIE

  What do you got, a list? “Things to ask Howie when he’s cornered?”

  IZZY

  No. Not a list.

  HOWIE

  What is it?

  IZZY

  You’re not gonna like it.

  HOWIE

  Well then, even better.

  IZZY

  Do you know my friend Reema?

  HOWIE

  This is the question?

  IZZY

  No, this is the prologue. You know how some books have prologues?

  HOWIE

  I’m familiar with the concept.

  IZZY

  That’s Reema. You remember her?

  HOWIE

  Not really.

  IZZY

  I brought her to that barbecue like two years ago? Curly hair, kinda chubby.

  HOWIE

  Okay. I’ll take your word for it.

  IZZY

  Well, Reema works at Calderone’s. In New Rochelle. You know that restaurant?

  (Beat.)

  HOWIE

  Yeah.

  IZZY

  Well Reema, even though you don’t remember her, remembers you pretty well from the barbecue, and she said she waited on you a couple weeks ago.

  HOWIE

  Did I stiff her on the tip? Because had I remembered her, obviously I would’ve—

  IZZY

  She said you were with a woman.

  (Beat.)

  HOWIE

  I was with another parent from the support group. Two weeks ago, right? We grabbed a bite after the meeting. If Reema had identified herself, I would’ve introduced them.

  IZZY

  Her husband doesn’t attend the meetings?

  HOWIE

  Is this still part of the prologue? />
  IZZY

  Why were you holding hands?

  (Beat.)

  Reema said you were holding hands.

  HOWIE

  And Reema’s what exactly, your spy?

  IZZY

  No, she’s a waitress. She was just at work. You were the one sneaking around.

  HOWIE

  Okay, now I am mad.

  IZZY

  I told you, you weren’t gonna like it.

  HOWIE

  That woman is a friend of mine whose daughter died of leukemia six months ago. Jesus, Izzy, what are you trying to—?

  IZZY

  I’m just asking a question. You don’t have to get defensive.

  HOWIE

  Just because I was holding a person’s hand doesn’t mean—

  IZZY

  I know you and Becca are having troubles—

  HOWIE

  What are you talking about?

  IZZY

  —but I’d like to think that if things got to a point where they were unsavable, that you’d be man enough to fish or cut bait—

  HOWIE

  Who said we were having troubles?

  IZZY

  —and not make things worse than they already are by fucking around behind Becca’s back.

  HOWIE

  You are way off base, Izzy!

  IZZY

  And I know there’s “other stuff going on around here” but that doesn’t excuse it.

  HOWIE

  This is so beyond ridiculous, I don’t even know how to respond to you.

  IZZY

  I don’t need you to respond. I just wanted to ask the question and say what I had to say. You can do whatever you want about it.

  HOWIE

  About what? I’m not having an affair!

  IZZY

  Okay.

  HOWIE

  I was comforting a friend!

  IZZY

  Great, I’m glad to hear that.

  HOWIE

  And I don’t know where this Reema person gets off making these offensive assumptions about me—

  IZZY

  She’ll be happy to hear it was a misunderstanding.

  HOWIE

  I mean, god, Izzy. And right after your shpiel about us not having faith in you. What do you think of me?

  IZZY

  I’m sorry, it’s my sister. I had to ask.

  HOWIE

  Well you’ve asked.

  IZZY

  Indeed I have.

  HOWIE

  Jesus.

  (Beat.)

  I’ll tell ya one thing, if I ever see this Reema again, I’m gonna tell her what I think of her talking shit about me.

  IZZY

  You should. She’ll like that. (Heads into the kitchen) I’m gonna get some juice.

  HOWIE

  And for the record, I hope I did stiff her on the tip.

  IZZY

  Yeah well, for the record, you did.

  (Left alone, Howie is reeling, but trying not to show it. He drinks his beer.

  After a couple beats, Becca and Nat come in through the front door carrying bags of groceries. They’re in the middle of an argument.)

  NAT

  Luckily she had read about it in the papers—

  BECCA

  Of course she did.

  NAT

  —so when I explained it, she realized who you were.

  BECCA

  You should’ve gotten her phone number. We could’ve had her over for cocktails.

  HOWIE

  Heyyy, they’re back.

  NAT

  I was just trying to help.

  BECCA

  Well I don’t need you chasing after me cleaning up my messes.

  HOWIE

  What happened?

  BECCA

  Or apologizing for me.

  NAT

  That’s not what I was doing.

  HOWIE

  IZZY

  Did something happen?

  You get my message about the olive loaf?

  BECCA

  No, I shut my phone off.

  NAT

  I had to do something, Becca.

  IZZY

  (To Becca) Why?

  BECCA

  (To Izzy) Because you kept calling me.

  IZZY

  NAT

  But I wanted olive loaf.

  If I didn’t say something, she would’ve had the cops there.

  HOWIE

  Cops where?

  BECCA

  She would not have called the cops.

  NAT

  You don’t know that.

  IZZY

  Someone was gonna call the cops?

  HOWIE

  What happened?!

  BECCA

  Nothing.

  NAT

  We had a little scene, that’s all.

  (Regarding groceries) Lemme do this.

  (Nat puts some of the groceries away. Becca moves to look over the sign-in sheet on the clipboard.)

  BECCA

  How’d we do here? Looks a little light, doesn’t it?

  HOWIE

  What kind of scene? What scene did you have?

  BECCA

  In the supermarket.

  IZZY

  You and Mom?

  NAT

  (From the kitchen) No, I was not involved.

  BECCA

  It’s so stupid.

  HOWIE

  What happened?

  BECCA

  This is why I hate shopping. Everything in there’s like: “Oh look, Froot Loops, Danny liked Froot Loops. Hey, string cheese. Danny hated string cheese.” Everything. Howie, you’ve got to do some of the food shopping. I’m sick of saying it.

  NAT

  (Comes back in) Becca got a little upset.

  HOWIE

  About what?

  NAT

  There was a boy there.

  HOWIE

  He reminded you of Danny?

  BECCA

  No. Maybe a little, but not really, no.

  NAT

  He had red hair.

  BECCA

  What happened was we were in the same aisle as this kid and he wanted these roll-ups, fruit roll-ups, and his mother was being a hard-ass about it, saying she wasn’t gonna buy them for him.

  NAT

  And it wasn’t because she couldn’t afford it, because you could tell she had money.

  BECCA

  But the kid was getting whiny about it. Which makes sense, because he’s five years old and he really wants these roll-ups, but the mother wouldn’t give in. In fact she starts ignoring him completely, just turns her face away and pretends he’s not there. Just goes about her shopping, like that’s gonna shut him up, or teach him a lesson or something. Case closed sort of thing. But that only gets him more upset. So that pissed me off for some reason.

  HOWIE

  What did?

  BECCA

  The way she was ignoring him, instead of trying to explain why he couldn’t have them.

  NAT

  So she walked over to her.

  HOWIE

  What? Why?

  BECCA

  I don’t know. I just did.

  IZZY

  What’d you say?

  BECCA

  I said, “It’s only three bucks, why don’t you just get him the fucking roll-ups?”

  HOWIE

  Oh, no ...

  BECCA

  And she looked a little miffed. But she smiled a little—I don’t know why—and explained to me that she didn’t want her son eating candy. And so I said it wasn’t actually candy, in fact fruit roll-ups are relatively healthy, and they’re made with real fruit, and why not give him a treat? And she told me to mind my own business, and then tried to move her cart around me, but ran over my foot by accident, so I smacked her.

  (Beat.)

  HOWIE

  What?

  BECCA

  I smacked her.
<
br />   NAT

  She did. She smacked her. I couldn’t believe it. Real hard too.

  HOWIE

  Becca ...

  BECCA

  I know. It was awful, and then the boy started crying. I felt terrible, but she pissed me off.

  IZZY

  You hit that woman?

  HOWIE

  Izzy, don’t.

  IZZY

  I’m just saying. Glass houses.

  BECCA

  She was ignoring him.

  NAT

  She was ignoring him. It was pretty bitchy.

  BECCA

  I wanted to shake her: “Look at him. Don’t pretend he isn’t there!” But I didn’t say that. I just stood there, kinda startled, and she was kinda startled, and then Mom came over and told me to go out to the car, which I did not need her to do.

  NAT

  I just explained everything to her. That’s all I did. And she was mad at first, but I explained it, and she understood.

  BECCA

  No she didn’t.

  NAT

  After I talked with her, I’m saying.

  BECCA

  Still, she didn’t understand, Mom. I’m sure you just made it seem like I was a crazy person. Some unstable—

  NAT

  You did slap her, Becca.

  BECCA