A Mommy for Christmas Read online

  A Mommy for Christmas

  Danielle Lee Zwissler

  Kindle Edition

  Copyright© Danielle Lee Zwissler.

  Midnight Books 2013

  Firefly & Wisp Books and Midnight Books

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or use of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the permission of Firefly and Wisp Publishing, www.fireflyandwispbooks.com

  First Firefly & Wisp Books 2013.

  All the characters in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. All work is from the imagination of the author.

  Warning: the unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $250,000. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes.

  And a Bonus Book by Author Danielle Lee Zwissler

  Meant to be Always

  Copyright 2013 Danielle Lee Zwissler

  To my Grandfather, Malcolm,

  Every time I look into the sky, I see your star shining brightly. Thanks for all the wishes that you’ve made come true.

  For Jackson and Emma,

  I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, forever and ever, my babies, you’ll be.

  Save a hug for me in Heaven.

  A Mommy for Christmas

  Chapter One

  Jackson Gilroy took his little girl, Sarah Jane, from her grandmother’s arms and placed her in the small car seat in his Dodge pickup truck. He had just spent the whole day searching for a new place to move him and his daughter. Living with his parents certainly took a toll on them both. For him, there was no privacy—people always hovering, wondering if he would be okay or if he would crack at any moment, or for her…wondering if daddy was going to lose it, if he would leave her fatherless, too. Sarah Jane was beginning to act very spoiled—always getting what she wanted from both sets of grandparents, always being felt sorry for, being excused for her snotty behavior. He was guilty, too. He felt bad for Sarah. He felt bad for himself, but two years of living without Emma was enough to drive anyone mad.

  “I don’t want to move away from Grandma Gilroy, Daddy!” Sarah Jane wailed. She screamed this for the better part of the day before when he announced his plans. He wasn’t going to be swayed this time.

  “Sarah Jane, I love you very much, and of course Grandma Gilroy does, too, but we can’t stay there anymore. It’s time to get our own place again.”

  Sarah hiccupped and wiped her eyes. Her little hand was wet from the tears that were streaming down her face. “I don’t want to!”

  “Well, Sarah, I do. I need some space. I need to have my own things around me, not Grandma and Grandpa’s.”

  “What about Mommy?”

  What about Mommy…

  “Sarah, you know Mommy is up in the sky now, watching over us. You remember what Mommy used to tell us about the stars in the sky? She’s up there now, watching both of us. She wouldn’t want us to be sad anymore. She wouldn’t want us to live with Grandma and Grandpa forever.”

  Sarah took a deep breath then wiped her eyes again. “I miss Mommy, Daddy.”

  “I know you do, baby. I do, too. I promise we’re going to go someplace really nice. You’re going to have your own room, too.”

  “I am?” Sarah replied with a small voice.

  “Yes,” Jackson said quietly. “And we can paint it any color you like. Whatever you want, Sarah.”

  “Okay, Daddy.”

  Jackson took a deep breath and reached his hand behind his seat and held on to his little girls, giving it a little squeeze. “I promise, everything is going to be okay, Sarah Jane.”

  ***

  Melanie Cartwright walked down the grocery store aisle for the fifth time looking for a can of spaghetti rings. Her niece, Lola, was coming over for the weekend and she needed to feed her something that she would actually eat. The kid was like a vacuum for those things. Melanie was actually surprised by the amount of food the kid ingested compared to the size that she was. She was a little bean pole. Melanie smiled, thinking about Lola. She gave up on having a kid of her own. She was thirty two years old now, and her clock had stopped ticking at twenty nine. She hadn’t had any boyfriends. Hell, the town prospects weren’t very good, and she frankly didn’t have a ton of time between teaching music at the local elementary school and working out at the town athletic center.

  “Melanie Cartwright, what in the world are you doing here?” Jenna Baker, the owner of Top Fit, the place where she worked out, asked.

  The grocery store where she was shopping was known as the Junk Food Haven of Smithville. “Oh, I have Lola this weekend. She’ll only eat spaghetti rings, but of course I can’t find the dang things.”

  “Oh, I know where those are—you are in the wrong spot. They’re over here,” she said, pointing to ten feet in front of them and up on the top shelf. Melanie wasn’t a short person by any means, but she couldn’t have reached the top shelf in the store with a boost.

  “How in the world are we supposed to get them?” Melanie asked, eyeing the can. “I really need those things.”

  Jenna laughed. “I know what you mean. I’m here for my sons. Heaven forbid they eat like their mother. Nope, they take right after their dad. They have his metabolism, to boot.” Jenna smiled at Melanie and put one of her feet on the shelves and climbed up two. Melanie couldn’t believe she was doing that.

  “Be careful!”

  “Here you go,” Jenna said evenly. “I swear, this must be diet spaghetti rings—they make you work for it!”

  Melanie laughed. “Maybe I should have taken the lead on that one. I still can’t get off that last ten!”

  “You look great. It takes time, besides…the holidays are coming up.”

  Melanie groaned. “No need to remind me. I can’t stay away from chocolate all that long, and around the holidays? You may as well forget it!”

  “It’s hard for teachers. I know… I’m one of those parents that sends cookies and sweets to school.”

  “You’re the devil,” Melanie joked, and Jenna laughed, agreeing with a nod of her head.

  “What’s your plans for tonight?”

  “Well, like I said, Lola is coming for the weekend, so I was thinking we’d stay in tonight, but maybe the roller rink tomorrow night.”

  “Wow! I can’t believe that place is still open. With boys, you basically just do sports.”

  Melanie felt her heart crumble a bit. It was times like this when she was so jealous of her friends. “Yeah, I imagine.”

  Jenna must have noted Melanie’s tone because she gave her a sad smile. “You will find love someday, Mel. I found Chris when I least expected it.”

  “That’s what they say,” Melanie said, returning the gesture. “I’m just waiting.”

  “I have a friend at work that’s…”

  “No!” Melanie interjected. “I mean, no thank you. I think if something is going to happen with me, it’s just going to happen. I don’t want to be fixed up…especially by friends. I don’t want anyone to feel guilty when it doesn’t work out.”

  “Okay, but if you change your mind.”

  “I won’t. Thanks, Jenna. I better get going. See you on Monday.”

  “See you, Mel,�
� Jenna said, pulling her cart in front of Melanie’s and exiting the aisle.

  ***

  When Jackson pulled into the long driveway to his new place, Sarah Jane’s eyes widened. “This is big!”

  “Yeah, it’s a little bigger than where we lived before.” Jackson had a little more money than he did back then. Yet another thing to feel bad about. He was using part of the life insurance that he got from Emma to purchase the house that he and Sarah would live in now. Emma would never get to live in a place this nice, and every time he thought about that, it made him sick inside.

  “I really like it, Daddy.”

  “Me, too, baby. We can get a dog here. I know you really wanted one, and since…”

  “Mommy is allergic!” Sarah wailed.

  Way to go, Jackson!

  “I know,” Jackson said quietly. One tear slipped free and ran down his face before he caught it. Jackson closed his eyes. When would the pain lessen?

  “I don’t want a dog!”

  “Okay, baby. Then we won’t get a dog.”

  Sarah took a deep breath, grabbed her stuffed bear, Tony, and then got out of the car. Jackson watched as she waited for him at the door.

  “So, what do you think of your room?” Jackson asked happily. He tried to make sure he put extra emphasis on the positives of the place. This place had a huge yard, her room was twice the size as the one they shared at his parents’ house, and they could get a pool. They had a pool at their old house. Emma and Sarah loved to swim.

  “I love it! I want to paint it purple! I want ponies on my walls, Daddy!” Sarah Jane squealed. She jumped up and down in her excitement.

  “I’m glad, baby. I’ll take you to the store tomorrow and we’ll pick it all out. Until then, you are sharing a bed with me. Time to get jammies on, and then your teeth brushed.

  Sarah Jane ran to the duffle bag he brought in earlier packed with their night’s clothing. He would be busy for the next few weeks unloading all of his and Sarah’s stuff. Unpacking the storage unit was going to be the most difficult, but it was time that he put more than one ghost to bed.

  Chapter Two

  Melanie walked into her kitchen and put her groceries away. It took a little longer than the twenty minutes that it usually took because Lola was helping her. Lola was four years old and an absolute terror.

  “Lola, are you hungry?” Melanie asked, hoping that the kid ate before she was dropped off.

  “Yeah! I’m so hungry. Mommy said to make sure I eat all my foods.”

  “All your food. Yes, that’s a good idea. What would you like to eat? How about some apples and a grilled cheese?”

  Lola shook her head. “Chocolate!”

  Melanie laughed. “I don’t think so, Lo… What are you wanting for dinner? It is way too late for you to be eating chocolate. How about some apples.”

  Lola shook her head.

  “Grilled cheese?”

  “Nope!”

  “Help me out here, Lola. Aunt Melanie is tired and wants to get up early tomorrow to do fun things with you.”

  “Why don’t you have any kids, Aunt Mel?”

  Melanie was stunned. It was the first time that she heard Lola ask something remotely serious. At four years old, she should be talking about toys. “Well, uh… I am not married yet.”

  “Mommy’s not married.”

  Out of the mouth of babes, Melanie thought. “I know, but I have to be married first,” Melanie said, hoping that her niece would forget her line of questioning.

  She didn’t.

  “Why didn’t Mommy?”

  “Well,” Melanie said, trying to think of what to say next, then spoke, “Mommy’s different.”

  “How?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I want to call Mommy!” Lola said excitedly.

  “No, honey, Mommy is working right now. You can talk to her later.” Melanie hoped to God that Lola would forget all about this conversation.

  Lola’s bottom lip stuck out and it started to quiver. “Don’t cry, Lola. Aunt Melanie loves you.”

  “I love you, too, Aunt Mel.”

  Melanie smiled. Crisis averted momentarily, Melanie picked up a can of the spaghetti rings with what she hoped was a big smile. “How about some of these?”

  “Yeah!”

  Melanie took a deep breath. She was such a pushover. And the sad thing, it was a four year old that was doing it to her.

  ***

  Jackson looked out the bay window in his living room at the house next door. Smoke curled up the chimney and puffed out swiftly into the night sky, creating a dancing cloud. He smiled. It had been a long time since he had peace and quiet before midnight. Sarah Jane had been in bed for over an hour and it was only 9 pm. It had been a trying day; both of them cried off and on for the entire day, making the move more nostalgic than anything. At that moment, Jackson saw the first star of the night. Thinking about Emma, he started to talk to her, telling her about everything he and Sarah had been doing for the past two years. It was the first time he allowed himself a moment alone with her, and it felt good to unburden himself. There was a lot of grief in two years. A lot of worries and a lot of pain.

  After he finished with his one-sided conversation, he took one more glance at the house next door and saw a woman sitting at her kitchen table. She had long brown hair that was slightly wavy. She was holding a coffee cup, gingerly sipping its contents. Jackson felt his throat tighten. She looked so sad. What could possibly cause someone so beautiful so much hurt? He watched for a few minutes, as she was softly captured by the lamp’s glow. A few minutes later, the woman was joined by a little girl. The little girl looked to be around Sarah Jane’s age. She jumped up on the woman’s lap and instantly the sad look that was upon her face only moments ago, had vanished into a wide grin. Jackson felt her smile like a punch in the gut.

  Not knowing what to think of what was happening to him, Jackson continued to stare. He watched her until she looked right into his direction and caught his glimpse. She didn’t move either, and what scared Jackson the most was that it was, at that moment, when the star that he named, Emma’s, light went out.

  The next morning Jackson’s eyes were bloodshot. Sleep completely evaded him the night before, leaving him up to think about nothing but the woman next door and his own late wife, Emma. He thought about the differences between them physically. He couldn’t see the woman’s eyes, but knew his Emma’s were a brilliant green. Emma’s hair was red and curly. The woman next door had chestnut colored locks with a slight wave and a shine to them. She was proportionate, from what he could see, whereas Emma was slightly thinner than the normal woman. Most of her clothing hung off of her, making her model thin. Emma always had a smile on her face, but the woman next door looked to have reflected his own personality. Deep, morose…tired. That was until he saw her smile. That smile was what kept him up most of the night. Thinking that he had been dead emotionally and physically for two years; this was somewhat welcome and not. He was happy to know that he wasn’t completely dead inside, but felt guilty that he found this out so suddenly, as if his own body was betraying the memory of his late wife.

  Just as he was contemplating his next move, Sarah Jane leaped down the steps with her teddy bear clutched tightly in her arms. “Hi, Daddy!”

  “Hi, baby, how’d you sleep?”

  “I like your bed. It was so warm. I am so hungry!”

  “How about some pancakes?”

  “Pancakes!” Sarah Jane shouted happily.

  “Go get dressed, Imp, and I’ll get those made for you.”

  Sarah Jane smiled at the old nickname and went flying back up the stairs. Jackson went over to the refrigerator that he stocked full the night before. He had everything for pancakes except for butter. Sighing, he closed the refrigerator, hoping that Sarah wouldn’t have a complete meltdown at his error and started the mixture. When Sarah arrived downstairs she was dressed and smiling.

  “I’m afraid we don’t have any butte
r, Sarah, but I still made the pancakes.”

  “But Mommy always put butter on them!” Sarah cried. “Grandma always puts butter on them!”

  “I know, Sarah, I just forgot.”

  “Mommy never forgot.”

  That quiet phrase said it all. Mommy never forgot. Daddy always does. Jackson felt like a failure. He looked at his daughter and went to speak when she offered a solution. “We can go ask the neighbors for some?”

  Jackson’s slight smile almost betrayed his features. “That’s a good idea, Sarah.”

  “I can go with you, too.”

  Jackson thought that was an even better idea. If the woman next door was married, he wouldn’t look like some weirdo asking for butter—or finding out if she was single or not.

  “Get your coat on, and I’ll put some foil over these.”

  Sarah nodded and went past her dad to get her coat on.

  A few minutes later, Sarah and Jackson were standing in front of their neighbor’s door, pushing the doorbell. A minute or so after that, a little girl answered.

  “Hi!” the little girl said happily. Her eyes went wide and she went to hug Sarah. Sarah hugged her back just as eager.

  “Lola! I hope to God you did not answer that door,” came a feminine voice from in the house. Jacob was wondering why there wasn’t any parental supervision.

  When the woman rounded the corner, her eyes went wide as well as Jacob’s. She had a night gown on made of pale blue silk and a fluffy pink robe that lay loose at her sides. Her hands quickly went to the sides of the robe and tugged them forward, covering up her shapely breasts to mid-thigh.

  “Hi,” Jackson said, his voice sounding a bit rusty. “This is my daughter, Sarah Jane, and I am Jackson. We just bought the house next door. We made some pancakes and…” Jackson’s voice broke off as the woman in front of him colored prettily. “Do you have…?”

  “Would you like to go to breakfast with us?” Sarah Jane finished. She smiled at her new friend and they danced around in circles. “I’m Sarah Jane, and my daddy and I have a ton of pancakes!”