The Carpenter's Apprentice Read online

  Something he’d been deprived of for so long and something I’d never had the pleasure of experiencing. Well, now we had love but remember that I said sometimes love just isn’t enough and how I knew what the missing piece was to the equation?

  The answer is me and before this week was through I wanted to give Darby the only gift that can’t be returned. The one thing I’ve prided myself in knowing that I didn’t just throw away on some teenage fling. That thing is, my virginity.

  THE DECISION

  The next morning when I woke up I stretched and glanced out the window of my room. The golden days of summer had subsided to the onset of fall. The leaves on the trees had started to change and the heat had been replaced with a cool breeze.

  I’d spent most of the week winterizing grandma’s house: trimming back trees, cleaning out flower beds, and packing all the patio furniture up in the garage. Tomorrow morning, I had to go back to Greensboro. Darby and I still hadn’t consummated our relationship, and I was starting to get nervous that we wouldn’t get the chance to before I had to go.

  Thankfully, grandma had given me permission to spend the day with Darby. We’d spent a lot of time making plans throughout the week on how to stay in touch. He didn’t have a phone so we went to town one day and bought him a prepaid phone so we could talk while I was away. I’d decided to at least go back to town and take a look at a few general study courses at Duke.

  He told me that’s where he went to college and even gave me an old t-shirt he had from there. To my surprise, he even sprayed it with his sweet woodsy cologne so any time I was missing him I could just hold it close to me and feel like he was with me.

  Grandma had fixed one of her signature big breakfasts complete with homemade biscuits, scrambled eggs, bacon, and gravy. She said she was feeling fally and replaced the orange juice with cranberry. We talked and reminisced of all the fun we had over the summer. I told her I’d see her again on fall break if I decided to go to college and after we ate, she helped me pack.

  I was going to spend the night at Darby’s, then leave from there in the morning. I still haven’t told mom about our relationship. Grandma tried to assure me that mom would understand. I guess what I’m afraid of most is that she’ll feel like I am abandoning her. I explained that to grandma and she dismissed the comment as horse pucky.

  She said one of the most important jobs a mother has is to prepare her babies for the world and if they find love and move out then their job is done. She said it’s not easy of course but she said we adjust.

  She waited on the porch as I loaded up my suitcase and a bunch of snacks she made for mom and for me while I was on the road. I sighed. I didn’t want to go. Why is growing up so hard? Sometimes I miss the days when I was young and didn’t have responsibilities. Why do we feel compelled as people to honor the expectations society has for us?

  We’re supposed to get an education, get a job, settle down and get married. All these things are supposed to make us feel accomplished and happy but right now, the very thought of it is making me sick to my stomach. I’d trade all of that in a heartbeat to just spend the rest of my life here with Darby.

  As I stood before grandma she smiled warmly, “Well, it looks like that time has come again where we have to say bye for now.”

  “Yeah,” I mumbled.

  She patted my cheek, “Buck up baby. We’ll see each other again real soon and come the holidays you’ll be here with your mom and hopefully Darby.”

  “Yeah,” I mumbled again.

  I was too heartbroken to give her a better response. I was too busy thinking about Darby and trying to decide whether I should stay or go. Both choices have different consequences. On the good side, if I stayed, I’d get to stay here and spend warm chocolatey nights with Darby.

  But on the bad side, what if something happened a few months down the line that made us realize this it was a mistake. Also, if I go ahead and go to mom’s I get to see her and get back to life as usual. At the same time, I’d probably spend ninety percent of my time sulking and missing Darby.

  Even if I go to school, I’d feel so lonely every time I saw another couple kissing or holding hands. Then when I do get time off, will I have the energy to drive all the way out here just to see him.

  I must have been silent for a long time because grandma asked, “What’s wrong sweetie?”

  My lips trembled as I replied, “I just don’t know what to do.”

  She shook her head, “Caedmon, I can’t make this decision for you but here’s my advice. Follow your heart. You’re too young to concern yourself with what might happen down the road. Live your best life now and fate will sort out the rest in time.”

  I nodded and kissed her on the cheek before making my way to the truck. Once inside I cranked it up, shifted into gear, and drove away. When I turned the corner at Grandpa Buddy’s shop, I could see her waving from the front porch and I replied by honking the horn.

  This was it, the night I gave myself to Darby. I didn’t know what to expect. We’d spent a lot of time together but had never spent the whole night. I’d texted him when I left grandmas to let him know I was on the way.

  The weight of what was about to happen was weighing heavy on me as I made my way up the driveway to his house. The soft light from the porch haloed him as he stood there with his hands in his pockets. He was wearing one of his favorite flannel shirts tucked into a pair of khakis.

  I’d never seen him in khakis before and couldn’t help thinking that he looked so handsome as he stood there with that insecure smile he always flashed at me. I hopped out of the truck and ran to him. He stretched out his hand and took mine as I stepped onto the porch. We held for a moment before separating and I said, “You look so nice tonight.”

  He closed his eyes, grinned, then turned away, “Shoot, I just wanted to look as nice as possible since it’s our last night together for a while.”

  I tucked my hands into my pockets and mumbled, “Well, you look very nice.”

  Our eyes met and he said, “So do you, baby.”

  “Ha!” I said. “These are just some old work jeans.” I quickly lifted my button-up shirt to reveal the t-shirt he’d given me. The same one he’d sprayed with his cologne so I could feel close to him when I got lonely.

  He smiled and pointed, “Hey, I recognize that.”

  I smiled and slowly lowered my shirt as he held my gaze. I wasn’t sure what had just happened but the initial nervousness and tension I felt about spending the night had quickly melted away.

  All I could see was the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. My mouth was hanging open in awe of his rugged beauty as he walked slowly toward me. He lifted his hand and rested it on the side of my face, “It’s been years since I’ve opened up to anyone the way I have with you.”

  I closed my eyes as I let the sound of his soft voice carry me away. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “There’s something I’ve been wanting to do since the day we met and I don’t think I can hold back any longer.”

  I placed my hands behind his neck as I whispered, “Do whatever you feel is right cause I’m all yours tonight.”

  He dove onto my neck and began nibbling at a tender spot. I’d never felt anything like in my life. It was a mixture of pleasure and pain. The feeling of his teeth occasionally grazing my skin was sending my body into fits of lust and ecstasy.

  A moan escaped me. It was a sound I never knew I could make until Darby started kissing me. I shifted my hands and dug my fingers into his back as I whispered, “Take me…take my body.”

  He slid his hand up my shirt. I could feel the roughness of it as it glided slowly across my skin. His thumb encircled my nipple before tweaking it and I called out with euphoric abandon, “Oh yes daddy!”

  He pulled away and stared down at me with a curious expression, “What’d you call me?”

  I turned away and mumbled, “I’m sorry, it just felt so good.”

  I stole a glance and he mumbled sweetly, “N
o, it’s nothing to be sorry about.”

  We stared at one another in silence before he smiled, “I really liked it.”

  “Really?” I said as I bit my lip.

  His eyes flickered with magic. Just like the fireflies that lit up the meadow around us. He leaned in and grazed my lips with his, “Want to go inside?”

  I rested my forehead against his and replied, “I thought you’d never ask…daddy.”

  He turned and opened the door and once we were inside he promptly closed it behind us. “Let’s go,” he said as he grabbed my hand and escorted me to the back of the house where his bedroom was.

  For a split second, I hesitated before stepping inside. Then like the current from a riptide we began tearing one another’s clothes off. Fueled by untamed passion and the moonbeams bouncing our shadows around the room we collapsed onto the bed.

  As his body covered mine, I lifted my legs to give him access to me. He bucked his hips as he continued kissing me. His cock was in control now. He was just the passenger for this joyride. I could feel his penis graze my hole with each eager slide. I wanted him, I wanted him now, I wanted him inside of me.

  I wanted our bodies to become one, like a circle in the sand. I begin where he ends. We were no longer just friends, we were lovers. Two halves of one heart reconnected by a common need. A need to be loved and accepted.

  We were kindred spirits destined to be reunited through intimacy. I couldn’t wait any longer. I’m overtaken by my need to execute my virginity. I whispered in his ear, “Baptize me in your love daddy. Fill me up until I’m drowning in your essence.”

  Shock invaded his expression as he growled, “Oh fuck baby.”

  He lifted enough to lube himself up. I waited impatiently and whimpered with desperation to feel him invade me. The initial pain of his teasing quickly subsided as he picked up the pace. My eyes rolled back and my mouth fell open. I could feel the heat of his breath as it rained down on my body and with each gratifying slide, he edged me ever closer to the brink of orgasmic hysteria.

  “Oh yes, oh daddy.”

  “Oh fuck, oh fuck, I’m coming!”

  An animalistic roar erupted from him and echoed through the room as he filled me up with his essence. I rapidly shifted my hand to my cock and with just a few quick strokes, ropes of cum rocketed onto my hairless body.

  Once we caught our breath, he smiled down at me, “That was amazing my precious baby boy.”

  I hummed with delight as he leaned in to kiss me. Then he raised up, went around the corner to grab us some towels for cleanup, and laid down next to me.

  SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE

  When the morning came and the sun began to peek through the window of my bedroom, I realized I wasn’t alone. It had been so long since I felt the warmth of another body coming from the other side of the bed.

  I smiled at him, kissed his head, and he wrapped his little arm around me. I closed my eyes. I never wanted this moment to end. After a few minutes, he mumbled a sleepy, “Good Morning.”

  Those sleepy little eyes peered up at me and I replied, “Good morning firefly.”

  He hummed with delight and snuggled up to my chest. It was so nice to feel the warmth of his breath hitting my skin. He pulled away slowly, “What time is it?”

  I glanced at the clock on the nightstand, “Almost 8:00 a.m.”

  He yawned and pouted, “I guess I have to get ready and go.”

  He stared at me hopefully, as if he wanted me to say something. But I just tousled his hair and sighed, “I know.”

  We both sat up and stretched, then he began to gather his clothes from the corner of the room where we tossed them last night. I watched in silence for a moment as he got dressed. Then I said, “You’ll call when you get back to Greensboro?”

  He smiled, “Of course I will.”

  Why was I just standing here, when deep inside I wanted to shout, “Please don’t go! Stay here with me.”

  But I didn’t. I wasn’t going to be the one to hold him back. I knew from the day we met that I always wanted the best for him. Just like Devin, he’d eventually grow tired of me. He’s so young and has his whole life ahead of him, and what am I? I’m just a middle-aged carpenter who ran away from life.

  When I came here, I vowed that I’d never go back to the place where Devin broke my heart. There’s no place for me in the big city. I swallowed my emotions as I quickly got dressed and followed him to the front porch.

  We stood there for a moment as he stared out across the woods and the meadow, “I’m sure going to miss this place.”

  I lifted my hand to say it, but I stopped myself. Once he got back to his normal life, he’d forget all about me and the love we shared. Eventually, I’d move on too and all that we had will be nothing but a distant memory. It’s better this way.

  I couldn’t risk building another life for it to all come crashing down around me. He turned to me with tears in his eyes, “Well, I guess this is goodbye.”

  I stared straight ahead. I couldn’t look at him. It just hurt too much. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

  He started down the porch steps and turned back, “We’ll talk every night, right?”

  My lips trembled, “Absolutely, whatever you’d like baby boy.”

  He flashed me a half-smile and waited again. But I didn’t say anything. I wanted what was best for him. I kept telling myself in my mind that I can do this. He’d meet someone else and fall in love. Maybe at college? Maybe at his first job? But he’d find someone that wasn’t so far away.

  He took a ragged breath and diverted his eyes before walking slowly over to his truck. One last time he glanced at me, “So, I’ll see you when I see you?”

  “See you when I see you, baby boy.”

  I turned away as he opened the door, got inside, closed the door, then started slowly backing up. I didn’t want to watch him drive away. But I couldn’t stop myself. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me and I was just letting him drive away, out of my life, forever.

  His truck grew smaller and smaller in the thick of the trees. I saw it emerge as a miniature at the end of the driveway. Tears were welling up in my eyes as I whimpered, “Please come back, please!”

  But he didn’t and it was all my fault. I could have stopped it. I could have stopped him at any time. Those words echoed through my mind as tears began to stream down my face. You could have stopped him.

  I clutched my chest and let out a sob. Then I caught myself and attempted to stiffen my upper lip. It was no use. I’d just let the other half my heart drive away and I didn’t even try to stop him.

  In a fit of rage and despair I roared, “You could have stopped him!”

  I roared again and grabbed a nearby rocking chair. I threw it hard over the rail and watched as it shattered on the ground. Then I picked up a small wooden table and threw it too. I ran out into the yard and began grabbing anything I could to toss.

  I was like a tornado of rage and despair and once I’d finally exhausted myself I grabbed my head and crouched down on the ground. There was nothing left to do but cry.

  When I couldn’t see anymore, I picked myself up and dragged myself inside. I just wanted this day to end. I stumbled down the hallway and collapsed on the bed. All I could smell was him. I pulled the pillow into my embrace and sobbed again, “My baby boy, my little firefly. Please come back to me.”

  In the early evening, I began to stir again. I was miserable as I stepped outside. I was alive, but I felt like all the life had been drained from me. There were no more tears left to cry. Everything now reminded me of him. A soft roll of thunder echoed in the distance and rain began to fall on the tin roof. The heavens were crying the tears I no longer had the energy to.

  In my pocket, the phone he had me buy chimed. I pulled it out to find a new message. “I’m home, Darby.”

  I wanted to text him back, “No, no you’re not. Your home is here with me.”

  I didn’t get the chance to, because after a few moment
s I could hear tires in gravel coming up the driveway. I stood up straight and watched anxiously. I knew it was crazy, but half of my heart hoped this was all some kind of joke. That even though he’d just texted me that maybe it would be like one of those scenes from a movie where I would see him coming up the driveway.

  Was it him? Was he coming back? I ran a little way up the road before I noticed it was Annie bouncing along in her little Oldsmobile. My heart sank. I knew it was too good to be true.

  She lifted a hand and waved hesitantly. There was an odd expression on her face as she pulled up next to me and rolled down the window, “Darby, what on earth are you doing out here? You’re still in your bedroom slippers!”

  She craned her neck and a look of shock washed over her face as she noticed the front yard, “What on earth happened? Were you vandalized?”

  I shook my head and mumbled, “No ma’am.”

  She shifted the car into park, “Well, don’t just stand there in the rain, get in!”

  I made my way to the passenger’s side and took a seat. She turned and placed her hand on my knee, “Oh Darby, you look absolutely heartbroken.”

  I took a deep breath. “I’ve seen better days Annie; I’m not going to lie.”

  She removed her hand and stared at me empathetically, “Is this about Caedmon.”

  I stiffened my upper lip, whimpered, then turned away. The sound of his name was like a knife in my heart. Annie whispered, “Oh Darby if you love him that much, why on earth did you let him leave?”

  I cried out, “I don’t know. He’s just so young and I don’t want to influence him to make a decision he’ll regret later in life.”

  Her tone grew stern, “That’s not your right to decide for him.” She shifted her body and pointed at me, “If something is meant to be, then come hell or high water it will be. There’s nothing we can do to stop it.”

  I fired back, “Well, what can I do now? He’s gone!”

  She stretched out her hand and rested in on my cheek, “You know what you need to do. You just need to stop being a fraidy-cat and do it!”