The Climb Read online

  THE CLIMB

  Damien Benoit-Ledoux

  www.damienledoux.com

  Purple Spekter™ Press

  Copyright © 2016 Damien Benoit-Ledoux

  Purple Spekter™ Press

  All rights reserved. No part of this may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior consent of the Author, except for brief quotes used in reviews.

  ISBNs

  KDP Print ISBN: 9781539984962

  IngramSpark Print ISBN: 978-0-692-98343-0

  Digital: ISBN-10: 1539984966

  Digital: ISBN-13: 978-1539984962

  ASIN: B072XZCRPM

  Semi-Autobiographical

  This story is a semi-autobiographical work of fiction. All of the names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination and/or are used fictitiously. Actual references to people, places, and events in my life have been altered to protect resemblance or connection to actual persons.

  Content Warning

  This book contains material that may be offensive to some and is intended for a mature young adult reader. It contains swear words, sexual content, and tough situations.

  Edition Changelog

  Edition 1.0 – December 1, 2016

  Edition 1.1 – March 9, 2017 | Typos Fixed

  Edition 1.2 – May 23, 2017 | Typos Fixed

  Edition 2.0 – October 19, 2017 | New Cover

  Edition 2.1 – November 7, 2017 | Digital Publishing moved to Draft2Digital

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to all LGBTQ youth and young adults everywhere who have struggled to love themselves, or struggle to love themselves today.

  Praise for The Climb

  This story was amazing and evoked so many emotions: happiness, anger, sadness, empathy. I appreciate a writer who can take me on an emotional, vivid journey through a story. Thank you, Mr. Benoit-Ledoux. This book is proof that a well-written story can reach far beyond a predefined intended audience.

  — Tina, New Hampshire.

  I could immediately relate to the thoughts and actions of the main character, Skyler, as he struggled with reconciling his sexuality with his religion. Benoit-Ledoux realistically depicts the adverse effects that religion can have on sexuality while showing there is hope. By the end of the novel, I wanted to embrace Skyler for triumphing in an area where many still struggle.

  — Chris, Missouri.

  Reading this story was an emotional roller coaster of joy, indignation, sadness, and hope. No matter how you identify, we can all relate to aspects of Skyler's journey. From the butterflies of first love to the trials and tribulations of high school, 'The Climb' reminds us that growing up is hard work. Benoit-Ledoux has crafted a truly beautiful story.

  — Josh, Nevada.

  The Climb is an amazing book. As a straight guy with many gay friends, I thought I knew how difficult it was for them all to come out. This book helps paint a very vivid picture for the friends and family who need help understanding the difficulties that many people in the LGBT community are going through. In addition, this book serves as a great tool for those who are still waiting to come out, or are too afraid.

  — Chris, New Hampshire.

  Acknowledgements

  My husband and handsome prince, Tim, for his constant encouragement and willingness to share in this part of my life. I truly appreciate your support as I jockey between our lives, work, and several novels. I love you, through all of time and space…

  Advanced Reading Team

  My dedicated team of authors and friends who pre-read the novel and provided feedback and suggestions to strengthen the story. Your thoughtful and helpful critiques help me shape a better novel with each editing pass. Thank you to: Tara Elly, Josh Kingsbury, Josh Sliker, Tina Berard, and Chris Hund.

  Contributors

  Timothy Benoit-Ledoux, for your editing skills.

  Michael McCaffrey, for the original cover art. Michael painted the first edition cover art with acrylic paints on a canvas. Then he provided the high-resolution scan that became the cover art for the first edition print and ebook versions of The Climb.

  Andrew Rowe, for his marking chops.

  With Gratitude

  Andrew Rowe, for your marking chops.

  Authors Chase Potter and David James, who graciously (and at length) answered my questions and offered feedback that reshaped my writing and parts of the novel.

  Podcaster and audiobook narrator Simon Whistler and the underrated Rocking Self Publishing Podcasts, whose interviews offer up super-critical information that shape my thoughts and plans as an independent author.

  Author Jay Bell, whose Something Like Summer novel inspired me to take the scraps of notes and, over time, write and rewrite my thoughts and ideas into a novel.

  Gay YouTube activists such as Tyler Oakley, Miles Jai, Shane Bitney Crone, Raymond Braun, and Mister Chase; couples such as Will & RJ, Mark and Ethan, Matt + Blue, and PK and Mike; organized advocacy groups such as The Trevor Project, It Gets Better, and the Human Rights Campaign. Thank you for doing what you do, for sharing your lives with us, and for standing up for LGBTQ rights and equality in your own ways.

  #LoveWins

  Table of Contents

  THE CLIMB

  Dedication

  Praise for The Climb

  Acknowledgements

  Table of Contents

  Author’s Notes

  Dide you Finde a Typoh?

  Leave a Review

  PART ONE

  1 | You Are Blessed

  2 | We Should Come Out Already

  3 | Keep it a Secret

  4 | But I Love You

  5 | Work With What The Lord Provides

  6 | Not in This House

  PART TWO

  7 | Third Time's A Charm

  8 | Twenty Questions

  9 | Piece of Who You Are

  10 | Never Let Your Guard Down

  11 | I'll Take My Chances

  12 | Kal-El

  13 | Slow Down, but Keep Going

  PART THREE

  14 | Let the Wookie Win

  15 | I'd Rather Be Safe than Sorry

  16 | I Didn't Scare You Away

  17 | Ready to Defend Me

  18 | Sometimes You are so Obtuse

  19 | I Don't Have Time for This

  20 | I Rise, You Fall

  21 | To Thine Own Self, Be True

  PART FOUR

  22 | Perseid Kisses

  23 | Afterglow

  24 | True Colors

  25 | The Thorn in His Paw

  26 | The Tamed Savage

  27 | Where My Heart Is

  28 | No Second Guessing

  29 | Welcome to Temple

  Coming Soon: GUARDIANS

  Connect with the Author

  About the Author

  The Purple Spekter™ Shop

  Author’s Notes

  One night, while lazily surfing through X-Factor videos, I stumbled across the X-Factor UK Season 6 (2009) finale and listened to Joe McElderry’s stunning (and winning) performance of the song The Climb. When I discovered that he came out shortly thereafter in 2010, I decided to temporarily name the story in my head The Climb because I know the processes of loving yourself and coming out can feel like an uphill climb to so many. (For me, I might as well have been climbing up the Matterhorn in the dead of winter.)

  Over the course of the next year, I logged notes and ideas about the story in my head that wouldn’t go away. Later, in March 2012, Skyler Phoenix and his journey began to take shape when I drafted the first few chapters of The Climb. In 2015, I thought the book’s title might change to It Really Does Get Better, but 130,000+ words later, listening to McElderry’s performance again, my heart remains settled on The Cl
imb.

  Today, I am extremely proud to share the story of Skyler Phoenix with you, a foster kid who had to grow up too fast. Forced to become part of the foster care system at age ten, Skyler managed to survive foster families made up of alcoholics and super-Christians. Today, at sixteen, Skyler and his best friend, Cameron, make plans to come out to their families but their best efforts are thwarted by the very message of love—and condemnation—that their churches preach every Sunday. Nothing prepares Skyler for the emotional damage of rejection and the forced relocation he has to endure simply because he is gay. But, as Pastor Bob often said, "When one door closes, God opens another.” (Skyler would have rolled his eyes at that.)

  So many of us who identify as LGBTQ grow up in religious families that make it seem like we don’t (or can’t) belong or fit in. Even worse, some religions can make us believe that there is something deeply wrong with us, when in fact, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I grew up in an extremely religious family. And to tell you the truth, I didn’t mind it at all. I loved my church, and I loved the community within and around it. I didn’t have a Pastor Bob, but the Cameron in my life did. I’ve always wondered what would have happened if I had been honest—at sixteen, in 1992, when we got caught—and come out of the closet to everyone.

  But I didn’t.

  I chose to hide who I was and deny that I was gay. So, nothing happened because I feared rejection, feared disrupting the status quo, feared having everything change, and feared the unknown. I lied about who I was to everyone. I buried it deep inside and forgot about it. Ten years passed before I finally acknowledged that I was gay—talk about an uphill battle! Several more years passed before I finally decided to come out, and it was not easy. I always knew, of course, and while Skyler's story fictionally enhances some key moments of my own journey, I know there are teenagers and adults facing the same struggles that I once experienced, and the ones that Skyler has to deal with.

  Now, I can honestly say that it really does get better. I would not have said that at sixteen years old. My family struggled but has come to accept me for who I am. I imagine it was difficult, and there are still some tense moments, but I am fortunate that their love trumps the difficulties. I am extremely grateful to have had my family and close friends with me on the day that I married my wonderful husband, Tim.

  So, if you are struggling, if you find yourself in Skyler, Cameron, or Daren’s situations, please know, there is a community who loves and supports you. It’s just a matter of time until you discover it. It took me seventeen years to realize that. I pray you always have the courage to be who you are today, and no matter what any religion says, God loves you.

  I wish you peace,

  Damien

  Dide you Finde a Typoh?

  If you found a typo, please let me know. Despite the many editing passes and multiple sets of eyes, typos, like nasty gremlins, creep into the text. It’s extremely frustrating but with your help, we can eliminate all typos, everywhere—or at least in my novels. Use the contact form at the link below to submit a typo or other textual error. Thank you so much for helping me improve my stories!

  http://damienledoux.com/typohunters/

  Leave a Review

  If you enjoyed this story, please consider leaving a review about this book on Goodreads or at an online retailer, a forum, or a book blog. Also, please feel free to share this story via social media as well. Word of mouth is important to any author’s success, but especially for Indie book authors who don’t have the hefty resources of a publishing company behind them.

  PART ONE

  1 | You Are Blessed

  HALF AWAKE, SKYLER AMBLED DOWN the stairs in red boxer shorts and a white tank-top, his bare feet padding on the carpeted stairs. Noah, one of the twins, his long, straight brown hair sticking out in different directions, groggily followed behind him wearing blue plaid pajama bottoms and a yellow t-shirt.

  Moments earlier, at 5:45 a.m., Skyler had turned his alarm clock off and reluctantly rolled out of bed to get ready for school. Opening his bedroom door, he saw that Noah had already gotten out of bed and made his way to the bathroom door, where he sleepily rested his forehead on the white door frame.

  “She beat us again,” Noah said softly, not fully awake. He groaned.

  “Dammit,” Skyler whispered. Their sister, Grace—Noah’s twin—had beaten them to the shower and would occupy it for the next twenty to thirty minutes. The boys were used to it. On the days Grace beat them to the bathroom, they ate breakfast before showering up for school.

  As they walked toward the kitchen, Skyler glanced at the closed door of the first-floor bathroom. A closed door meant the bathroom was most likely occupied by Stephen, their dad. Damn, I really have to pee, he thought.

  “SkySky! Noah! Good morning!” Vicky exclaimed. She was the ever-enthusiastic eight-year-old sister who had immediately bonded with Skyler when he arrived at their home five years ago. Since she couldn’t say Skyler, she had dubbed him SkySky, a nickname she still used to this day.

  “Good morning, boys,” Rebecca said. Her straight brown hair had been tied back in a simple pony tail. Grace and Noah had gotten their mother’s looks, while Vicky had received her father’s looks and thick, wavy hair. Like clockwork, Rebecca had already showered and was dressed for the day. The sound of her heels clacking against the hardwood kitchen floor grated against Skyler’s sensibilities in his sleepy state.

  “Morning, mom,” they droned simultaneously as they walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. Vicky had already set out the cereal and milk for them. She loved the breakfast routine they had established because she would sit next to Skyler and tell him about all the things she would do in school that day. The third grade was a big deal to her, and she always had amazing plans. Skyler admired her constant joy.

  Skyler took two bananas from the fruit bowl and passed one to Noah, who peeled the end and took a bite.

  “I’ll pour your cereal!” Vicky declared, her hazel eyes sparkling. She brushed a hand across her forehead and pushed her wavy brown hair off her face. She still wore her blue flannel pajama pants and a lavender t-shirt with a picture of a lamb on it. A golden yellow halo encircled the lamb’s head.

  “Okay,” Skyler said, smiling. He peeled his banana as she reached for the box of cereal and poured the usual amount into their bowls. When she finished, she set the box down and smiled at them.

  “Thanks, Vicky.” Skyler said. He winked at her and picked up the butter knife Vicky had set at his place. Then he methodically sliced banana pieces into his cereal bowl. Vicky watched him intently, her little hands folded under her chin, elbows resting on the table top.

  “Does each slice have to be the same size?” she asked.

  “Nope, they don’t.” He cut the next slice bigger and let it drop into the bowl. “See? Some of them can be bigger, or smaller, like this.” He cut off a very thin slice of banana.

  “Okay.” She said, satisfied with his demonstration.

  “What are you going to do today at school, Vicky?” Skyler asked. It was the second Friday (in the month of May), which usually meant extended creative periods during the day.

  A smile spread across her face. She immediately started counting off activities on her left hand. “First, I’m going to have a math quiz. Nobody in my class likes those but math is easy for me so I like it. Second, we’re going to finish our swing set pictures in art class. Then, um, thirdish, we’re going to have morning recess and we’re going to play keep-away again because that is a lot of fun. Then we’re going to have English class and I’m going to finish my story I’m writing. I won’t tell you what it is yet because I want to finish it before you see it, Skyler. It’s about Noah and his soccer games.”

  “Aww, thanks Vicky,” Noah said.

  Skyler chuckled. He chomped his cereal as she wrapped up her play-by-play action plan for the day.

  “That’s nice, sweetie,” Rebecca said. Then she bowed her head and clasped her hands to
gether. “Dear Lord, look upon my children with kindness as they have forgotten to praise your name before filling their faces with your bounty.”

  “In other words,” Noah said, without missing a beat, “Bless this mess.”

  “Amen,” Skyler said. He stopped chewing and smiled at Rebecca. “Remember when I first got here, and had no idea what grace before meals was?”

  “I do, hun, I do,” Rebecca said, smiling as she topped off her coffee.

  Skyler smiled as he remembered his first days with the Tinsdale family.

  * * *

  When things fell apart at his first foster home, the foster care agency scheduled Skyler for an immediate transfer. They selected the Tinsdale family as the most suitable candidate for the eleven-year-old boy. When the documents had been signed, Skyler arrived at his new home five years ago on a Saturday at 2:00 in the afternoon.

  Katie Smith, Skyler’s caseworker, pulled her SUV into the Tinsdale’s driveway. Skyler peered over the dashboard and saw a bunch of multicolored, helium-filled balloons tied to the railings of the front porch. Between the balloons and suspended from the porch ceiling, a large white banner announced Welcome, Skyler! in bright blue letters.

  “Are those for me?” he asked, sitting up in the front seat.

  “They sure are, kiddo,” Katie answered. “Those balloons are all for you.”

  “Wow,” he whispered in wonderment.

  Katie smiled, her blue eyes regarding him with care and concern. She pushed an unruly lock of medium-length blond hair away from her fair-skinned face and tucked it behind her ear. “The Tinsdales are very excited to have you live with them, Skyler. They have been on a waiting list for a while, and I really think this will be a wonderful home for you.”