Totally Charmed Read online

  TOTALLY

  CHARMED

  OTHER TITLES IN THE SMART POP SERIES

  Taking the Red Pill

  Science, Philosophy and Religion in The Matrix

  Seven Seasons of Buffy

  Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers Discuss Their Favorite Television Show

  Five Seasons of Angel

  Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers Discuss Their Favorite Vampire

  What Would Sipowicz Do?

  Race, Rights and Redemption in NYPD Blue

  Stepping through the Stargate

  Science, Archaeology and the Military in Stargate SG-1

  The Anthology at the End of the Universe

  Leading Science Fiction Authors on Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

  Finding Serenity

  Anti-heroes, Lost Shepherds and Space Hookers in Joss Whedon’s Firefly

  The War of the Worlds

  Fresh Perspectives on the H. G. Wells Classic

  Alias Assumed

  Sex, Lies and SD-6

  Navigating the Golden Compass

  Religion, Science and Dæmonology in Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials

  Farscape Forever!

  Sex, Drugs and Killer Muppets

  Flirting with Pride and Prejudice

  Fresh Perspectives on the Original Chick-Lit Masterpiece

  Revisiting Narnia

  Fantasy, Myth and Religion in C. S. Lewis’ Chronicles

  TOTALLY

  * * *

  DEMONS, WHIT ELIGHTERS

  AND THE POWER OF THREE

  * * *

  CHARMED

  EDITED BY

  Jennifer Crusie

  with Leah Wilson

  BENBELLA BOOKS, INC.

  Dallas, Texas

  This publication has not been prepared, approved or licensed by any entity that created or produced the well-known television program Charmed.

  “Confessions of a Charmed Addict” © 2005 by Jennifer Crusie

  “‘They killed Prue! YOU BASTARDS!’” © 2005 by Evelyn Vaughn

  “The Ultimate Witch” © 2005 by Robert A. Metzger

  “Will the Real Phoebe Please Stand Up?” © 2005 by Jennifer Dunne

  “How Paige Matthews Saved Charmed” © 2005 by Leah Wilson

  “Charmed: A Modern Fairy Tale” © 2005 by Debbie Viguié

  “A Stake in the Future” © 2005 by Ruth Glick

  “Enchanté . . . Not” © 2005 by Peg Aloi

  “Three Is a Magic Number” © 2005 by John G. Hemry

  “Charmed into Goodness” © 2005 by Anne Perry

  “Why Are the Elders Such Jerks?” © 2005 by Richard Garfinkle

  “Evil: Can’t Live With It, Can’t Quite Vanquish It” © 2005 by Kate Donovan

  “What Is She Wearing?” © 2005 by Tanya Huff

  “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay, Casting Spells” © 2005 by Nick Mamatas

  “Talent and the Socialism of Fear” © 2005 by Jody Lynn Nye

  “Why Can’t This Witch Get Hitched?” © 2005 by Maggie Shayne

  “Home Improvement in Magic Land” © 2005 by Vera Nazarian

  “Good Witches Need Love, Too!” © 2005 by Alison Kent

  “‘Witch-Lit’—A Season of Romance” © 2005 by Catherine Spangler

  “Charming the Tweener” © 2005 by Valerie Taylor

  “The Charm of Charmed” © 2005 by Laura Resnick

  “Seducing the Charmed Virgin” © 2005 by C. J. Barry

  Cast Biographies © 2005 by BenBella Books, Inc.

  Additional Materials © 2005 by Jennifer Crusie

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

  BenBella Books, Inc.

  10300 N. Central Expressway

  Suite 530

  Dallas, TX 75231

  www.benbellabooks.com

  Send feedback to [email protected]

  EISBN: 978-1-941631-52-2

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Totally Charmed : demons, whitelighters and the power of three / edited by Jennifer Crusie with Leah Wilson.

  p. cm.

  ISBN 1-932100-60-1

  1. Charmed (Television program) I. Crusie, Jennifer. II. Wilson, Leah.

  PN1992.77.C47T68 2005

  791.45'72—dc22

  2005021159

  Proofreading by Jessica Keet and Stacia Seaman

  Printed by Victor Graphics, Inc.

  Cover design by Laura Watkins

  All photos copyright © Albert L. Ortega

  Text design and composition by John Reinhardt Book Design

  Distributed by Perseus Distribution

  www.perseusdistribution.com

  To place orders through Perseus Distribution:

  Tel: (800) 343-4499

  Fax: (800) 351-5073

  E-mail: [email protected]

  CONTENTS

  Introduction: Confessions of a Charmed Addict

  JENNIFER CRUSIE

  The Sisters

  “They killed Prue! YOU BASTARDS!”

  EVELYN VAUGHN

  The Ultimate Witch

  ROBERT A. METZGER

  Will the Real Phoebe Please Stand Up?

  JENNIFER DUNNE

  How Paige Matthews Saved Charmed

  LEIGH ADAMS WRIGHT

  Their Roots

  Charmed: A Modern Fairy Tale

  DEBBIE VIGUIÉ

  A Stake in the Future

  REBECCA YORK

  Enchanté . . . Not

  PEG ALOI

  Their Moral and Magical World

  Three Is a Magic Number

  JOHN G. HEMRY

  Charmed into Goodness

  ANNE PERRY

  Why Are the Elders Such Jerks?

  RICHARD GARFINKLE

  Evil: Can’t Live With It, Can’t Quite Vanquish It

  KATE DONOVAN

  Their Material World

  What Is She Wearing?

  TANYA HUFF

  Sitting on the Dock of the Bay, Casting Spells

  NICK MAMATAS

  Talent and the Socialism of Fear

  JODY LYNN NYE

  Their Men

  Why Can’t This Witch Get Hitched?

  MAGGIE SHAYNE

  Home Improvement in Magic Land

  VERA NAZARIAN

  Good Witches Need Love, Too!

  ALISON KENT

  “Witch-Lit”—A Season of Romance

  CATHERINE SPANGLER

  Their Viewers

  Charming the Tweener

  VALERIE TAYLOR

  The Charm of Charmed

  LAURA RESNICK

  Seducing the Charmed Virgin

  C. J. BARRY

  Cast Biographies

  CONFESSIONS OF A CHARMED ADDICT

  WHY I KEEP GOING BACK TO HALLIWELL MANOR

  * * *

  JENNIFER CRUSIE

  * * *

  SEVERAL YEARS AGO, I posted to a pop culture internet loop, “I am totally hooked on the cheese that is Charmed.” That was a lie; while Charmed does have its Velveeta moments, the things that make me watch the series aren’t cheesy at all. For every unbearably twee episode about leprechauns and unicorns, there are stories that deal honestly with sisterhood, love, longing and loss. Seven seasons have passed, and Charmed is still worth watching for the things that got me the first time I tuned in, the things that charmed me, if you will.

  The aspect that grabbed me first was all that power. The magic itself is fun in a nose-twitching kind of way, and it’s very nice that the sisters are Helping Others, but
what I really love is the way they fry everybody who tries to hurt them. Prue when she was angry was poetic justice in motion, and once Piper learned to blow things up, it just got better. I’m addicted to that sense of wrongs righted—not only bad guys foiled, but gloating, rude, obnoxious, snotty bad guys, demons that act like every rotten human being I’ve ever met. It was fun that Prue could move things with her mind, but it was satisfying when she moved something right into the middle of a jerk’s sneer. Oh, yeah, I love the power.

  But there’s also the sisterhood. Charmed’s premise is inherently sentimental: three sisters reunited by discovering their destinies, forced to work together because their power is much greater when they cooperate, putting aside their differences and becoming a team. Go team. But in the early episodes, it wasn’t hokey because Charmed was still taking itself seriously enough to show the Halliwells as real people with real flaws. In those shows, Shannen Doherty, Holly Marie Combs and Alyssa Milano made their characters so sympathetic and their relationships with each other so emotionally true that they went beyond the Bewitched Brady Bunch into honestly cathartic connection. (The only sour notes from this period were the treacle-soaked appearances of Grams and Dead Mom, especially Dead Mom, who it seemed never had an impious thought in her life until she was outed in the fourth season as an adulterer. That appearance I enjoyed.) The outcome of all of that emotional growth was a family of three strong women working together and supporting each other. That alone would have kept me tuning in every Sunday.

  And then there are the love stories. I’m a sucker for a good romance, and there have been some great ones on Charmed, three of the best from the guys with staying power. Ted King’s Andy tried to make things work with Prue for all of season one and then died protecting her, a hero to the end. Brian Krause’s Leo has a doofus personality that meshed sweetly with Piper’s spineless nice girl in the early seasons, but it’s Julian McMahon’s Cole who gets the prize for Best Boyfriend Ever. Part human, part demon and all Phoebe’s, Cole may have been the Source of all Evil, but he was also charming, funny and desperately in love.

  The problem is that it’s hard for a series to maintain emotional intensity throughout a long run. Thus, in the early seasons, when the sisters loved and lost, it hurt. Andy’s death mattered. Prue’s death mattered. Cole’s death mattered (all three times). But as the years have passed, Leo has become unbearably pious and dorky, and miscellaneous other boyfriends have come and gone without making enough of an impression for the viewer to care. This emotional attrition wasn’t helped when the show’s writers began to trade drama for campy comedy, which made for either amazing television or cover-your-eyes disaster. The entire romantic arc of Phoebe Queen of Evil (as the vamping wife of Cole’s Source) was brilliant; lecherous leprechauns were just wince-inducing. There’s been some great kitsch—the “Y Tu Mummy Tambien” episode stands out for me here—and abysmal misfires—I’m not getting over that leprechaun disaster anytime soon. In these later seasons, the scenes that featured weak guest actors tended toward mugging and melodrama; those that featured good supporting casts—Adrian Paul as the mummy-lover, Billy Zane’s all too short run as the doomed ex-demon Drake, Oded Fehr’s nicely calibrated evil as Zardok—soared as the actors found the energy and the emotion in the camp and stepped on the “melo” to heighten the drama.

  One episode in particular showed Charmed at both its best and worst. In 2005’s “The Seven Year Witch,” long-suffering and incredibly dull Leo was once again taken away from Piper by the Elders, those heavenly storm troopers in choir gowns. Piper was mortally wounded, and only Leo could save her, but the Elders had taken Leo’s memory. . . . I’d go on, but it’s too painful, truly one of the worst plots in Charmed history. (And that’s saying something. Did I mention the leprechaun episode? It was called “Lucky Charmed.” No, I’m not kidding.) In one particularly abysmal scene, Leo chose his life with Piper over his heavenly duties and fell off the Golden Gate Bridge, after which an Elder moonlighting as the Exposition Fairy explained, “He has fallen from grace.” If Paige and Phoebe were truly against evil, they’d have shoved him after Leo.

  So why was this episode also great? Because Julian McMahon came back and sparred with Holly Marie Combs, giving Combs somebody to act with for a change. It was a dark day for Charmed when McMahon left to nip and tuck, and his guest appearance here only underscored the loss. The dialogue in their scenes would have been cringe inducing, except that nobody can sell undying love like McMahon or furious pain like Combs, and their rematch was fast and clean and emotionally true. (My Charmed fantasy: Cole comes back from the dead again, realizes he loves Piper and seduces her. Cole and Piper are such rich characters and McMahon and Combs are so good together that I’d watch that one play out forever. And it’s not like Cole is easy to kill or tends to stay dead. I’m just saying, it could happen.) Meanwhile, over on the couch, a maniacally chipper Billy Zane was holding his own against Alyssa Milano’s blinding smile and tragedy-tinged perkiness, both of them hopelessly happy to be with each other even though he was doomed to die at sundown. The dialogue in this episode may have been over the top, but the energy was real.

  And that’s where Charmed is at its best: when it generates that manic energy in service to honest emotion, an unabashed focus on love—of sisters, significant others and humanity—that refuses to be cynical or blasé. There are very few shows on television that spit in the eyes of the critics and follow their own too-warm-to-be-cool, too-hokey-to-be-hip paths, but Charmed goes blithely on its way, turning its stars into Lady Godiva and Red Riding Hood, dressing the pious in white robes and the bad in black leather, putting the cheese in its cheesecake and the ho in “Holy cow, what is she wearing?” Like the little girl with the curl, when Charmed is good, it is very, very good, and when it’s bad, it’s, well, Dead Mom and leprechauns, but even then I keep coming back for more. This is a show that’s having a damn good time and inviting the viewer to have one with it.

  Of course my reasons for watching Charmed aren’t the only ones. The essays in this book will give you twenty-one more viewpoints on the sisters, their roots, their morals and magic, their material world, their lovers and their viewers. And beyond these writers, many more voices weigh in, from the breathless adoration of the Internet fan boards to the snarky loathing of the Television Without Pity critic who is still mourning the loss of Andy and Cole, particularly the shirtless episodes. They and millions like them tune in every Sunday night to see what Piper, Phoebe and Paige are doing (and wearing), drawn by the magic, the sisterhood and the love.

  And I’m there, too, because even with leprechauns, even with Leo, even without Cole, I am still hopelessly hooked on the cheese that is Charmed.

  THE SISTERS

  * * *

  THE POWER OF THREE . . . UH, FOUR

  * * *

  The core of Charmed is the sisterhood of the Halliwell women, but what takes that sisterhood beyond those mushy “very special moments”—please, somebody, put stakes through the hearts of Grams and Dead Mom so they will stay dead—is the beautifully developed arcs the characters experience and the equally well-developed arc their sisterhood has achieved over the past seven seasons. Their sacrifices for the greater good and for each other are heart-wrenching and real, and the maturity they find is hard-earned.

  “THEY KILLED PRUE! YOU BASTARDS!”

  (A.K.A. DEATH REALLY TAKES A HALLIWELL)

  * * *

  EVELYN VAUGHN

  * * *

  As the kick-ass older sister, Prue Halliwell was first among equals, so when the actress who played her departed the show, the writers had a real problem on their hands. Evelyn Vaughn thinks they solved it just fine by remembering that some characters are so indelible, they’re irreplaceable.

  TO FULLY UNDERSTAND what happened to Prue Halliwell, and how Charmed turned her tragedy into a qualified triumph, we must first grasp one salient point:

  Characters are not the actors who portray them.

  Oh, suuu
re. We like to think we know that. Every time we hear about some obsessed fan snarking at Susan Lucci because Erica Kane does something bitchy, we shake our heads in condescending superiority. And yet, how often is Keri Russell greeted with shouts of, “Hey, Felicity!” How often do we let our perception of an actor color our memory of the character? Captain Kirk was not William Shatner, people! Captain Kirk was sexy as hell, but he had nowhere near the sense of humor Shatner does. As Leonard Nimoy wrote in his 1975 autobiography I Am Not Spock, “I am not Spock.”

  And the real test? How often do fans mourn the marriage of a popular actor?

  Please. Like you really would have had a chance with Russell Crowe if only it weren’t for her? Be glad for the nice folks, for heaven’s sake!

  True, actors are intricately connected to their characters. Actors look like their characters—or vice versa, if you want to get into a chicken/egg debate. Often actors seem to merge their energies with those of the character, creating a being that we, the audience, cannot experience through any other means. (As Leonard Nimoy wrote in his 1995 autobiography I Am Spock, “I am Spock.” A complex guy, that Nimoy).

  The actor is by no means trivial. The actor is the channel through which we get our weekly character fix. But the actor is not the character.

  And this is a problem.

  Because of this, actors can get pregnant when it’s less than logical for their character to. This forces the writers of their show to either film very creatively around the character (Carrie Bradshaw, B’Elanna Torres) or write an out-of-character pregnancy (Maddie Hayes? Phoebe Buffay?? Xena???) Actors who dislike each other can get in the way of characters who are madly in love (I’m talking about you, Moonlighting). Actors quit (like David Caruso in NYPD Blue) or are fired (like Suzanne Somers in Three’s Company) or become ill (like Kate Jackson in The Scarecrow and Mrs. King).