Craving Forbidden (Craving Series Book 8) Read online

  “I’ve never done this before. You should’ve asked someone else.”

  He grinned. It made him look boyish in a sinister way. “That’s exactly why you’re standing here.”

  The room was rapidly filling up. The guys he had been introduced to stood at their own trays plus a few other guys and girls he had not met. The guy to his right was named Randy. The girl on the left looked like she wanted to rip someone’s face off, making her name unimportant to his safety.

  Jasper tied on the white apron the little guy handed him while others brought out large aluminum trays of food with a serving spoon on top of each one. They were placed on the tables. He took the aluminum lid off to find a huge tray of mashed potatoes before him.

  The line formed quickly, and before he knew it a man stood before him with his plate held out. Jasper spooned a helping onto the man’s plate, and as quickly as the man appeared, he disappeared on down the line. Jasper felt like a fool. He felt as though everyone was staring and judging him.

  He was watching the faces around him. Looking for the ones who were laughing at him. How the mighty has fallen. Only no one was laughing at him. Just the opposite. Strangers were smiling, not just at him, but at everyone around him. For the next hour, Jasper didn’t think about a drink. He thought about how for once in his life he was helping someone else without an agenda. He thought about Birdie. He wished she’d been there to experience today with him.

  He left the church feeling like a million bucks. That feeling didn’t last. There were half a dozen cars parked on his property and he could hear the music coming from inside the house. He sighed before exiting the car. The music was almost deafening inside. He spotted movement out by the pool.

  “Jay!” his best friend from high school yelled from the water. They were thick as thieves. At least, they had been before Jasper quit drinking. In fact, this was only the second time he’d seen Brent since he’d gotten sober. Brent jumped out of the pool. “Dude, where the hell have you been?”

  “Out. What are you doing here?”

  “Well, since you won’t come to the parties,” he roared, egging the party-goers on. “We brought the party to you!”

  Everyone cheered while holding their various drinks in the air. This wasn’t good. He could smell the booze oozing from Brent’s pours. They must’ve still been partying from last night. Molly sauntered over, throwing her arms around him. She was hot as hell in a bathing suit that resembled lingerie more than swimwear.

  “Hey there, stranger.” She smiled sloppily at him. Her breath reeked of vodka. Fuck, he wanted a drink. Just one. He knew for a fact Molly wouldn’t disappoint if he took her upstairs right now. He could grab a beer and they could have their own kind of party. He could feel his mouth fill with saliva. His stomach felt tight.

  He pried Molly off himself. Without a word, he bolted to the bathroom. His hands shook slightly as he pulled his phone from his pocket. He could hear people banging on the door as they called out his name, only it was distant. Almost as if he was listening from underwater. He pulled up his contacts and hit the green button.

  “Hey this is Birdie, leave me a—” Jasper ended the call. Fuck. He should just go out there instead of hiding in his bathroom like a pussy. He didn’t have to drink anything. He could just hang with his buddies. Even as the thought tempted him to unlock the door, he knew it would destroy him if he did. This time when he called, and angel answered.

  “Hello?”

  “Birdie?” he yelled into the phone.

  “Jasper? What’s going on? Where are you?” The concern in her voice was so thick and real, if he could reach through the phone he swore he could grab on to it.

  “I’m home. I need help.”

  “What’s all the noise?”

  “My friends.”

  “Address.”

  Jasper rattled his address off to her. He lowered the lid on the toilet and sat down to wait. He wished the knocking on the bathroom door would stop. He was too afraid to open his mouth to say so. Right now, it took everything in him not to go out there to join them. He knew Birdie would help. He just needed to hold on.

  Chapter Four

  Bernadette

  Birdie grabbed her keys off the kitchen counter, hurrying for the front door. Jasper sounded frantic. She knew she had to make it to him before he did something he would eventually regret. She had been there herself. She’d been in and out so many times she was lucky she was still alive.

  If it was forbidden, she wanted it. Booze, pills, guys, and everything else in between…all of it was the same high for her. She didn’t know when enough was enough. She was eternally grateful she was no longer of that mindset. She took each day for what it was. A new beginning. She wanted Jasper to have the next twenty-four hours, so she pulled her car from the curb, pointing it in Jasper’s direction.

  Every mile seemed as though it would go on forever. She had all but convinced herself she was already too late by the time she put the car in park in front of his door. Without knocking, she entered the house. The music was deafening. She could smell the temptation in the room before she could see it.

  A topless woman with an impressive rack ran past her without a glance. The guy chasing her, however, stopped and took her measure.

  “Hey there, sweetness.”

  “Where’s Jasper?”

  “Last I saw, the bathroom down the hall. Hope you’re here cheer him up. He’s acting all crazy.” He leered at her. “Or you could forget him and cheer me up a little.”

  Birdie walked past him without a word. She’d been there and done that with his type. Never again. That version of her was dead and gone. She couldn’t believe how big the house was. She opened each door as she made her way down the long hall. Finally, she came to a locked door.

  She put her face in the crack of the door. “Jasper?” she yelled.

  “Birdie? Is that you?”

  “It’s me. Let me in.”

  The door barely opened a crack for Jasper to peek out. He sighed, then opened it enough for her to enter. He sat back down on the floor. He looked like he was on the edge of losing all hope. She knelt in front of him. Taking his bowed head in her hands, she lifted it to look him in the eye.

  “We’re leaving. Now.”

  Birdie stood up, holding a hand out to him. Jasper looked up at her for a moment before taking it. Together they walked out of his house hand in hand. Neither of them said a word as they drove away.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Someplace quiet.”

  He seemed content with her answer. She felt horrible for him, she’d been in that situation before. Only she’d had no one to save her. She’d tried to do this with no support for years. Every time she’d failed. She’d heard it said, ‘it takes a village to raise a child,’ well it takes a fellowship to help stay sober. Birdie parked in her normal spot around the corner from her apartment building.

  They took the stairs up eight flights. Then Birdie pushed open a door that led them to the roof.

  “This is my favorite spot to get away.”

  “Wow.”

  The roof was nothing special; however there was a spot Birdie made her own. A pile of blankets created a soft space to sit. She left Jasper standing there while she lit the few candles surrounding the area. There was a small glow chasing away the darkness.

  “Sit. Tell me a story.”

  Jasper hesitated for a moment before joining her on the blanket. She could tell a part of him was still in that bathroom and she needed to get him out of his own head. She’d just opened her mouth to speak when he began.

  “I’ve always been at the center of things. No matter what was going on. My parents were always preoccupied. I helped close deals just by palling around with the kids who came to their working lunches. I didn’t want for a damn thing.” He chuckled to himself. “At thirteen I told Becky McMahon to show me her tits or my father wouldn’t invest her father’s company. She did it. Just like that. That’s when I knew I h
ad power over others.”

  Tears welled up in his eyes. He was lost in a memory from long ago. Birdie had never seen him so vulnerable. She scooched closer to him, hugging him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her. Her heart began to race. There was something overwhelming about this moment. His scent surrounded her. She wanted to know what his lips tasted like.

  She pulled away from him slowly. The way he was looking at her sent a chill up her spine. She could lean in and set her curious mind at ease, only she knew it was wrong. She couldn’t. Birdie moved back to her side of the blanket. The disappointment was obvious on Jasper’s face, if only for a moment.

  “That’s also about the time I had my first drink. Over the years, I used the booze to try to convince myself it was all right. To make myself believe.” Birdie lay down, looking up at the stars as he continued. “It was a champagne toast at one of my father’s business dealings. I went around to every table drinking all the ones left behind. I threw up relentlessly, but I still loved it. The taste, the smell, the sense of invincibility. No one cared what I did, so it was mine for the taking.”

  He lay down next to her. Somewhere between the conversation and long pauses, she drifted off to sleep.

  Birdie woke to the sound of a robin’s song. It wasn’t the first time she woke up on the roof. It was the first time she woke up in someone else’s arms. Mentally she took inventory. They were both still clothed. She sighed a deep breath of relief. That would have been a disaster. She was falling for Jasper and that couldn’t happen.

  “What’s going on in that brain of yours?” Jasper asked in a groggy voice.

  “I was just trying to remember when we fell asleep,” she lied.

  “I don’t know. It was late. Or early, depending on how you look at it. What are you doing today?”

  “No plans really. Why?”

  “I want to take you somewhere.”

  “Where?”

  “You’ll see.” He grinned. His face lit up like a kid. “I’m gonna go see what my house looks like and shower. How about I pick you up about four?”

  She wasn’t sure close proximity was a good idea with the feelings she was fighting, but she couldn’t be the one to destroy that happiness in his face.

  “Sure. I can be ready by then.”

  He jumped up from the blanket so quickly, it startled her. He held out a hand to her. She was up on her feet in a flash. Jasper kissed her cheek. “Perfect. I’ll pick you up then.” Then he left her standing on the roof of her apartment alone.

  Birdie went inside, her apartment was three flights down from the rooftop. She needed to get a few things done before Jasper came back to pick her up. First things first. She pulled her phone from her pocket before plopping down on the couch. She found Helen’s contact and pressed send.

  A warm voice answered. “Hey, Birdie.”

  “I have a problem.”

  “What’s wrong.”

  “Remember the guy I was telling you about a few weeks ago?”

  “Yeah.” Her voice was questioning. “I remember.”

  “He’s picking me up tonight. We’re going out somewhere. I’m conflicted.”

  “Think about this long and hard, Birdie. You know this is a dangerous game. If this goes south, it could cause either of you to go back out.”

  The sternness in Helen’s voice hurt her. She had been the woman Birdie looked up to. Even though she never judged Birdie and never steered her wrong, she still felt like Helen was wrong about this one. Maybe she just wanted Helen to be wrong this time. As much as she knew she shouldn’t, she wanted to be with Jasper. She had never felt this strongly about anyone. How could that be wrong?

  “I’m not going back out over a bad ending. I’ve been through too much.”

  “Look, you wanted my input and you got it. It’s an unwritten rule. No relationships in your first year. It’s forbidden for a reason. On the other hand, so is alcohol, and people go out every day. So—I’m just going to say, think. Think long and hard about the consequences. Ultimately you’re the only one who can make this choice.”

  The line went dead. Birdie was even more mixed up in her head. Maybe she was freaking out over nothing. Maybe Jasper just wanted to hang out with her and talk about what happened last night. She could be blowing this whole thing out of proportion. He was from the other side of the tracks. Rich good looking guys didn’t bring home former homeless addicts.

  With her mind now more at ease, she lay back on the lumpy couch and drifted off to sleep.

  A loud banging woke her from her impromptu slumber. She blinked over at the digital clock. The green lights read three fifteen. Grudgingly, she got up from the couch and went to the door where the knocking continued. Yanking open the door she was greeted by an impeccably dressed Jasper. He was gorgeous. Not a hair was out of place as he smiled back at her wearing a tux she was certain cost more than six months of her rent.

  “Little overdressed for dinner and a movie, yeah?”

  “Change of plans. My parents gave me shit when I told them I was skipping my dad’s dinner tonight. So, let’s go.”

  Birdie looked down at her faded jeans and t-shirt. “I’m not exactly presentable. I better sit this one out.” She was slightly disappointed, yet at the same time she was relieved she wouldn’t be around a crowd of strangers all night.

  “I’ve already made arrangements.” He smiled mischievously. “Let’s go, Cinderella. We’ve gotta get you ready for the ball.”

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea. I—”

  “Please, Birdie.” All the playfulness was gone. She couldn’t say no. No matter how hard it would be for her.

  “I don’t have anything to wear, Jasper.”

  “Let me take care of everything.”

  He held his hand out to her. She unenthusiastically placed hers in it.

  Chapter Five

  Jasper

  He was practically jumping out of his skin waiting for Birdie to step out from behind the curtain she was shielded behind. He had made a few calls before arriving at a very upscale salon. The salon was closed to the public for the duration of their stay. They were greeted by the best hairstylist, manicurist, and makeup artist. He could tell Birdie was both excited and apprehensive at the same time. They rushed her in, pulled a curtain across the room to shield her, and began her transformation.

  Jasper was told to take a seat in the waiting room, which he did gladly. He wanted Birdie to get pampered. Not because she needed a makeover, but because she deserved to feel like a princess. Even if it was only once in her life. A knock on the glass door startled him. He recognized Pablo from the dress shop. Springing to his feet, he unlocked the shop door.

  Pablo was a good man. His shop had been his mother’s favorite for a decade at least. He still retained his Spanish accent; however, his English was impeccable.

  “Good afternoon, sir. I hope I’m not too late.”

  He pulled a wheeled rack filled with dresses of various styles and colors behind him.

  “Not at all.” Jasper shook the man’s hand. “You’re right on time.”

  Camilla sashayed out from where they were keeping Birdie. “Oh good.” She clapped excitedly. “She’s ready for you.”

  Jasper followed behind the two of them. Camille opened the curtain for Pablo. She put her hand on Jasper’s chest. “Not you. Go sit.”

  “Why the hell not?”

  “Because we all agreed. You’ll make her even more nervous than she already is.”

  Grudgingly, he went back to his seat on the couch. He surfed online on his phone to kill time. It wasn’t long before Camille came out and pulled the curtain aside, opening the shop back up to the waiting room. Jasper was left speechless. Birdie stood there looking unsure of herself. She fiddled slightly with her hands.

  She wore a floor length gown of emerald satin. Her shoulders were bare, the dress fastening behind her neck, which was also bare, enticing Jasper to press his lips to every inch of skin exposed. Her long raven hair
was piled onto her head with something like sparkling pins. His eyes traveled down as she slowly turned around for him. There was no back. The top of the dress consisted of only the two pieces of fabric that encased each breast perfectly, ending at a rhinestone waist.

  “I look ridiculous,” she blurted out in exasperation. Her hands fell to her sides in defeat.

  “Just the opposite,” he finally managed to respond. “You’re breathtaking.”

  Birdie smiled. It was that smile. The one Jasper loved. He was compelled to move to her. He took her face in both hands, gently pressing his lips to hers. He slid his hands down the soft skin of her shoulders, continuing down until he held both of her hands. He pressed his forehead to hers and breathed in her sweet scent.

  “Let’s go,” he whispered against her lips.

  The limo door opened to a red carpet and a dozen bright flashes from reporters to gossip columnists. Jasper helped Birdie from the vehicle. She squeezed his hand. Hard. He placed her arm through his, then began the walk toward the doors of the Art History Museum. The gallery was one of his mother’s favorite places, so it was no surprise his father would hold his annual fundraiser gala here. Every year he picked a new cause to contribute to. It was one of his father’s finer points.

  “You’re fine, Birdie. Relax.”

  “Easy for you to say,” she growled through gritted teeth. He wanted to laugh, but he was a smarter man than that.

  He came to a stop in front of a large backdrop adorned with this year’s charity, an Alzheimer’s research hospital. Birdie looked at him with horror.

  “Just smile like you like me, and it’ll be done.”

  She did just that and he whisked her inside where only their approved photographers were allowed. The music from the small chamber orchestra was just above a whisper, softly breaking the silence without drowning out the conversations. Jasper led Birdie to where his parents conversed with the mayor.