Learning to Stand Read online

  “This stack of paperwork belongs to you.” Alex pointed to a foot tall stack of papers her Sergeant dropped off at the house. “I am aware that paperwork is not your strength. Now is the time to grow. You will complete this paper work by the end of the day tomorrow. From this moment forward, your job includes making certain that every piece of paperwork, every form, and every document is completed to perfection and ready for your superiors to sign. If you need assistance, ask for assistance but only after you have made a legitimate, valid attempt to complete this paperwork.”

  “Yes sir,” Larry Flagg said.

  “Mac Clenaghan and Walter, I want to see you,” Alex said.

  Joseph and Matthew followed her to the hallway.

  “I need a full report on each of these men,” Alex said.

  “I can get that for you,” Joseph said. “Half hour?”

  “That’ll be fine,” Alex said. “I’ve spoken with command. Major Walter has been assigned one hundred percent time under my command. I need to know what you have worked out as far as leading this team.”

  “I will manage the team,” Matthew said. “This includes all disciplinary action. Most immediate, I will attend to Sergeant Flagg’s disciplinary hearings as well as his civilian DUI requirements.”

  “My first priority is to complete the assessment of each team member,” Joseph said. “We are required by command to add at least two Marines and one more Navy. With Ben retiring, we’ll be obligated to hire an additional Homeland Security agent assuming Rasmussen stays. We need at least one medic. Further, with Flagg going to Iraq in a couple months, we’ll be required to add a green intelligence officer.”

  “Ah fuck, really?” Alex asked.

  “The Admiral wants a legion of Fey trained intelligence officers,” Joseph said. “We’ll choose our newbie this time.”

  “There’s an idea,” Alex said.

  “We’ve chosen to not add team members until the team has stabilized,” Matthew said. “We believe new members will disrupt the order at this point in time.”

  “What about the work? We can’t keep doing all these bullshit projects.”

  “I’m in charge of managing the workload,” Joseph said. “At the moment, Joiner is our only project.”

  “You got out of everything else?” Alex asked.

  “With the help of your Sergeant,” Joseph said. “He’s exemplary and absolutely dedicated to you. Who hired him?”

  “The Admiral,” Alex said. “He was hand selected from hundreds of applicants.”

  “Charlie would have killed for a loyal dedicated Sergeant like yours,” Joseph said. “Especially in the beginning.”

  “I’m very lucky,” Alex nodded.

  “We think you’ll find you have superior talent in the team as well,” Matthew said. “We only have recommendations for the Lieutenant Colonel, however we believe these talented men can form a superior team.”

  “Oh?”

  “I will have a report for you in a half hour,” Joseph said.

  “Where are we on the missing Cee Cee Joiner?” Alex asked.

  “We postponed our morning meeting because the Lieutenant Colonel was detained,” Matthew said. “We are available to meet on this topic when you’re available.”

  “After I see the personnel report,” Alex said. “I will be in my office.”

  “Yes sir,” Matthew said.

  “May I have a minute?” Joseph asked.

  “Yes, but just a minute,” Alex said.

  Joseph followed her into her office. He waited for the door to slide closed before he spoke. When the door closed, Alex sagged.

  “Hard?”

  “Horrible,” she said.

  “It was for Charlie too,” Joseph said. “Did the journal have his speech in it?”

  “Steve told you about the journal?”

  Joseph nodded.

  “The journal had his notes, his thoughts.” Alex slipped Charlie’s ring from under her cast. She held it up for Joseph to see before she tucked it back in the safe. “I felt like he was right there with me.”

  “I’m sure he was,” Joseph said. “You know, you’re allowed to retire, Alex.”

  “So are you,” she said. “Is Nancy moving back? The kids?”

  With the CIA’s assistance Joseph and his family had moved to Crested Butte, Colorado after the attack on the Fey Special Forces Team. They lived under new identities until early this last year when Joseph’s wife, Nancy, decided she would no longer live in fear. Her brave determination bolstered her mourning husband into action. He contacted Alex and she immediately requested his assistance.

  “She should be here tonight,” Joseph said. “She’s not bothering to pack the house yet. She quit her job and is coming to Denver. You were right about her boss.”

  “He’s a cretin,” Alex said.

  “She’s put up with a lot over the last few years,” he said. “As always, I hope to make it up to her. I never seem to...”

  “What does Nancy say?”

  “Oh you know.” His face flushed. They said together, “We’re lucky to have each other. Let’s live the time we have left.”

  “So why are you back to this crap?”

  “Because I’m good at it and you need my help,” Joseph said.

  “You don’t have to...”

  “I was about your age when Charlie asked if I would help him build a team to retrieve hostages,” Joseph said. “I wanted to help Charlie and hoped we could build a decent life. We lived a great life, Alex. I’d like a chance at that life again.”

  Alex nodded.

  “You could retire,” he repeated.

  “Not really,” she replied. “Not until I find out who killed the team.”

  He nodded.

  “Your family is welcome here, Joseph but you can see...”

  “Nancy wants to be here to help evaluate the team. You don’t mind the kids?”

  “They’re welcome additions,” Alex said. “John and I can move upstairs to give you more room.”

  “That’ll work,” he said. “Erin’s here with Matthew. Does anyone else...?”

  “Emily,” Alex said. “Vince is back with Emily. They have a daughter, Amelia. She’s thirteen or fourteen, I think.”

  “Would she...?”

  “I don’t know,” Alex said. “We can ask her. Nancy will like Emmy.”

  “Josh has requested a conversation with you,” Joseph said.

  “Raz, you have to remember to call him Raz or Rasmussen,” Alex said. “Samantha doesn’t even know his real name.”

  “He wants to talk to you,” Joseph said.

  “Fifteen minutes?” Alex nodded.

  “I’ll send him in,” Joseph said. “Then we meet?”

  Alex nodded.

  Joseph squeezed her arm then left the office. Alex let the door slide closed behind him. Rubbing her face, she filled up her water bottle from the water filter in the corner then set up the espresso maker. While the dark fabulous liquid dropped into a small cup, she retrieved a bottle of milk from her small refrigerator. She warmed the milk with the steam attachment to the machine. Taking the espresso from the machine, she added milk and sat down in a leather arm chair near the window. The light from the gas fireplace danced on the antique map hanging on the wall. She closed her eyes and, for a moment, found peace, quiet, and safety.

  “I thought you were brilliant,” Jesse said. He appeared in the matching leather chair next to her. “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

  Alex held out her hand. Jesse placed his palm over hers. Feeling the slight electric tingling of his hand, she closed her eyes again to enjoy the quiet peace afforded by a best-friend, a macchiato, and the world’s best security.

  FFF

  “Joiner’s on vacation.” Seated in the leather chair next to Alex, Raz took a sip of his latte. “Or in hiding.”

  He pulled a packet of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies from the inner pocket of his coat jacket. He opened the plastic then waved the chocola
te mint wafers under Alex’s nose. Laughing, she snatched them from his hand. She took a few cookies then gave the packet back to him.

  “Why wouldn’t he tell his buddy the President?” Alex asked. “Why wouldn’t he take his latest wife? Even pregnant, she’s pretty. And we both know he likes the pregnant action.”

  “Exactly. Why wouldn’t he?” Raz asked.

  “Is that a question?”

  “If anyone knows the answer, it would be you,” Raz nodded.

  “Shouldn’t we talk about this at the meeting?” Not wanting to answer his question, she stalled.

  “Because I wanted to talk to you about something else,” Raz held the cookies out to her. She shook her head. “Why don’t you want to answer the question?”

  Alex shrugged.

  Raz raised his eyebrows to Alex. Ever since he started working with Ben, he had been in her confidence. They were partners and close friends. He usually listened while she talked her way through theories and ideas.

  Not this time.

  “With Ben retiring, Homeland Security is talking about giving us a new supervisor,” he said. “I wondered if you might apply for the job.”

  “Ben said Joseph wants to retire me from my Homeland contract but when I called, I’m still under contract,” she said. “I was told you and I need to complete a laundry list of partner exercises. Ben waived those for us. With him gone, we have… a lot to do.”

  “Partner exercises?”

  “We need to get to know each other,” she said.

  “What?”

  “I’m responsible for knowing about at least one event from each year of your life. You’re responsible for the same.”

  “You mean you’d have to tell me why you’re mad at Zack? Why you broke his nose?”

  Crossing her arms over her heart, she shook her head.

  “I’ve always wondered,” Raz said.

  “I think we should quit.”

  “Quit?” Raz asked. “I can’t really afford to quit, Alex.”

  “You have your wife’s 9/11 Comp money.”

  “I don’t spend that money,” he said. “You don’t spend your trust fund.”

  She shrugged.

  “Why won’t you talk to me about Joiner?”

  “It’s not you,” Alex said. “I’m tired… sad and don’t want to talk about him.”

  “Maybe you’d feel better.”

  Alex held out her hand for the cookies. He gave her his hand instead. For a moment, their eyes held. Breaking off, her eyes searched his eyes and face for her safe, loving friend. He smiled and kissed her hand. Closing her eyes, she sighed.

  “Cee Cee Joiner is motivated by one thing and one thing only – his own self gain. If he’s in hiding and didn’t take his money, he believes his life is in danger. Pure and simple, Cee Cee is hiding from the big bad wolf.”

  “Who would go against a wealthy, white American male who happens to be the President’s best-friend?”

  “Who exactly,” Alex said. “Or what...”

  She got up from the leather armchair to make another cup of espresso. She made another macchiato for herself and a latte for Raz before saying anything else.

  “What would make Joiner this frightened? What could he be involved in?”

  “Any gut feelings?” Raz asked.

  Alex shook her head.

  “Jesse doesn’t know anything either,” she said. “It’s like Joiner was transported to outer space.”

  Her face lit up with joy at the very idea of Cee Cee Joiner vaporized.

  “He’s not a hostage,” Raz said. “Not even a hostage of some alien culture.”

  Alex’s bright smile fell.

  “I don’t think so,” she said. “What I can’t figure out...”

  Lost in thought, she fell silent. He squeezed her hand after a few moments.

  “Sorry,” she said. “What I don’t get is this: What could someone have on Cee Cee Joiner that would send him into hiding? And who has it? That’s the question we have to answer.”

  Raz nodded.

  F

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Five hours later

  Friday evening

  March 28 - 6:00 P.M. MDT

  Denver, CO

  Alex cringed when she heard her mother’s voice upstairs. Looking up, she heard her father’s footsteps then the designer stiletto patter of Samantha. Outside her basement office, she heard the men moving upstairs toward the growing dinner party.

  Alex sighed.

  She loved her mother. But at this moment, she’d rather hide in a hole, even in a Cee Cee Joiner filled hole, than spend time with her mother. She was about to close her office door when she realized they would find her in her office. Luckily only five people knew this rooming house and only three people had all the keys. She smiled.

  Locking her office, she crept past the basement bedrooms to what appeared to be a closet. She unlocked the door to a small stairwell. Locking the door behind her, she made her way past the first floor to the second. From there, she took the main stairwell to her master bedroom. Grabbing a down jacket against the possibility of March snow, she went through their room to the deck off their bedroom.

  Alex laughed.

  Max sat on his side of the deck next to his lit chimenea. Expecting her, he held two glasses of wine.

  “I thought I was being all stealth,” she said.

  “I won’t tell,” he said. Maggie’s little head poked out of his jacket. Maggie yipped when she saw Alex.

  “My Maggie! What’s she doing on your side of the deck?” Alex asked.

  “Your Maggie?” Max laughed.

  As a joke, their contractor painted a line between Max’s side and Alex’s side. He made them promise never to cross the line without permission. Of course, Max and Alex never had separate sides growing up. In fact, outside of undergarments, they wore the same clothing. And, much to their mother’s chagrin, often slept curled up next to each other in the same bed.

  Max held out his arm for her and she tucked herself against him on a teak bench. He gave her the glass of Merlot. Hidden from the growing party below, the twins sat in the companionable silence they called twin time. When Alex sniffled, Max spoke to their sadness. As they did when they were upset, they spoke as if they were one person.

  “We always thought we would have babies,” Max said.

  “I feel...” Alex started.

  “…awful.”

  “And a little...”

  “…relieved.” Max completed their thought.

  “Relieved is a good word. I mean, Nancy had like...”

  “…twenty miscarriages before they...” Max added.

  “…had the twins.”

  “I couldn’t do that,” they said in unison.

  “You think John will...”

  “No,” Max said. “He’s not going to divorce you. I keep telling you but...”

  “…Mom convinced us,” she finished his thought.

  Max nodded.

  “You ever wish you weren’t...” Alex started.

  “Never. I don’t care if I’m sterile.”

  “I don’t care about my bad eggs,” she said.

  “It’s a part of being...”

  “…your twin,” they said in unison.

  “I mean it would be nice...” Max started.

  “…to have a baby or maybe twins,” Alex said. “But we...”

  “…can’t.” Max shrugged. “I’m sad but...”

  “…not enough to wish I wasn’t...”

  “…your twin,” they said in unison.

  At their pronouncement, white fluffy flakes of snow began to fall. The twins pulled the bench toward the warmth of the chimenea.

  “How long have you worked for Pershing?” Alex asked.

  At Max’s laugh, Maggie squirmed in his jacket. He let her out. She walked across the bench to snuggle in Alex’s lap. Holding her with her blue cast, Alex rubbed her fuzzy ears with her right hand.

  “And you wer
e going to mention it...?”

  “You knew what I was doing, just not who I was doing it for.”

  “And the law firm?”

  “I’m a partner in the law firm, Alexandra. You’ve seen my name on the door, the stationary.”

  “Uh huh,” Alex said.

  “I work on the side,” Max said. “Kind of like you and Homeland, except they pay me. Steve doesn’t care about my heart. I get to participate, in a small way, to help secure the nation. It feels good. Plus, it keeps my security level up so I can hang out with my superspy sister.”

  Max looked at Alex.

  “You knew all of this,” Max said.

  “Not names, but the rest I figured out.” Alex nodded. “When you say it now, I don’t feel like I didn’t know… not like John.”

  Max leaned his head forward. Alex pressed her forehead against his in their gesture of love. While the wind blew snow flakes on them, the twins rested against each other. Max was putting more wood on the fire when Alex asked:

  “Are you ever going to date again?”

  “No,” Max said. “Fran destroyed any desire to have a relationship.”

  Alex laughed. Max glanced at her.

  “Drama,” they said in unison.

  “Are we going to...” Max started.

  “…adopt?”

  Shifting apart, Alex and Max held each other’s eyes.

  “We should probably …” Max said

  “…talk to John,” Alex said.

  “About what?” John asked.

  He had been standing near his bedroom door waiting for them. Once they moved apart from each other, he knew he wouldn’t interrupt their twin time. From her perch on Alex’s lap, Maggie barked a hello to John.

  “We don’t know if we are going to...” Alex said.

  “…adopt. We thought we might...” Max said.

  “…ask you,” Alex finished.

  John sat down in a deck chair next to the chimenea.

  “Include the husband in a decision? To what do I owe this honor?”

  “We like you,” the twins said in unison.

  John laughed.

  “I’m not ready to make a decision. There a few things we need to look at before we are certain we cannot have our own children. Surrogate for example or...

  “Surrogate?!” Alex and Max said in unison.