Learning to Stand Read online

  Under the cold rain of water, she cried her heart out.

  FFFFFF

  Forty minutes later

  Thursday morning

  March 27 – 8:20 A.M. MDT

  Denver, CO

  “Move,” Max said.

  White Boy shook his head.

  “Don’t you think it’s a little late to be loyal?” Max asked.

  Even though he had been in a meeting since six in the morning, Max knew exactly what had gone on here. He felt Alex’s indignation and rage as if it was his own.

  “She doesn’t want to see anyone,” White Boy said. “I’ve never seen her so upset.”

  Max raised his eyebrows. He opened his mouth to say something then shut it.

  “What?” White Boy asked.

  “The difference between you and me is this: Alex is my life. She is every breath, every thought, every moment of every single day. To you, she is a job. Now get out of my way or I will make you move.”

  “I love Alex,” White Boy said. “So does Trece. I mean, we screwed up. We totally screwed up. But what you said… what she said… It’s not true. It’s just not true.”

  “Fine,” Max said. “Do I need to make you move?”

  “No sir,” White Boy said. “But the door is locked.”

  “I have the key,” Max said.

  “Oh.”

  White Boy stepped aside and Max opened the door. Walking through the bedroom, he found Alex in the shower. She was shivering, blanche white, and bleeding. Turning off the ice cold water, he reached for her. Alex crawled forward to his arms. The twins held each other.

  “Oh my God.” Raz threw Max towels from the rack. “I’m sorry. I saw the door was open and I wanted to get my laptop. Max, she needs to get to emergency.”

  Unwilling to let go of her, Max looked up at him. Raz pulled the blankets from the bed and wrapped them around Alex. Max carried her to the door. Trece grabbed Alex from Max and ran up the basement stairs to his Black Expedition. Max, Raz and White Boy ran after Trece. White Boy opened the doors and Trece set Alex in the back. The men scooted into the car.

  Alerted by Max’s call, the Emergency Room nurses waited for them in the Emergency driveway at St. Joseph’s hospital. Trece laid Alex onto the gurney. White Boy and Max followed the gurney into the hospital.

  “I need to make some calls,” Raz said to Trece. “Can you move the car?”

  Trece nodded.

  “Is she dying? She was dying behind the door and I was sitting with my thumb up my ass. Again,” Trece said. “Oh God...”

  His guilt, remorse and pain caught up with him and the giant Trece broke down. Raz caught him before he fell to the ground weeping. Raz helped him to the passenger seat of the car. While Trece cried, Raz drove around the corner to the parking lot. Raz sat with Trece until he was able to gain some control over his emotions.

  “Our intel said the Boy Scout was going to kill the team,” Trece said. “We were with him when the… when she…”

  Trece slammed his fist into the dashboard causing the entire vehicle to rock back and forth.

  “No one had good intel, Trece,” Raz said. “We heard the whisper of the possibility. But we’d heard the same whisper for years and years. We didn’t take it seriously. It was after we received the phone call, after it was done, we knew we screwed up. Then we couldn’t find them. Did you know where the locker was?”

  Trece shook his head.

  “But she’s right. If I was any good at my job, I would have been with her.”

  Raz gave Trece his handkerchief. Trece wiped his face and nose then gripped the white cotton tight in his fist. The white square all but disappeared in his big hand.

  “The Boy Scout was supposed to get Alex after she was subdued by the machine gun,” Raz said. “She was his prize. His booty, if you will. If you and White Boy hadn’t disabled him with alcohol, she wouldn’t have been in the vault doorway for me to find.”

  Trece looked at Raz.

  “That’s nice of you to say,” Trece said.

  “And true, Trece,” Raz said. “If Alex is right, and she always is, Joiner set this whole thing up. He got the Boy Scout out of Afghanistan.”

  “We have work to do,” Trece said.

  “Oh yes, we have work to do,” Raz said. “But first, you should know…”

  Trece looked over at Raz.

  “Alex lost her baby yesterday. It was her one shot at having a baby and he wasn’t a very good shot. Deformed. Chromosome damage. She should have miscarried a month ago. But he was the only chance she had at having her own child.”

  “Oh God. Poor Alex.” Trece sniffed and wiped his eyes again. “She used to talk about having at least five kids. Jesse would tell her she should have nine kids so they could play baseball against his kids. Now Jesse’s gone and Alex...”

  While the men sat thinking, white fluffy snow began to drop onto the windshield of the car. Raz turned the car on to keep them warm.

  “I can see why she’s so bitter,” Trece said. “She lost the last thing she always wanted.”

  “Maybe,” Raz said. “No one knows what this darkness is about. No one. Not Patrick, Ben, John or me. I don’t think she knows.”

  “What about Max?” Trece asked.

  “Max doesn’t really count. Does he? Even if he knows, he’ll lie if we ask him.”

  As the snow fell, the men processed the information in the warm comfort of the car.

  “Should we go in?”

  Raz nodded.

  “I need to call her family, her fathers and mother. I’m sure John’s already on his way.”

  “Max texted him in the car,” Trece said. “Let’s find out what’s going on. She’s probably just down a pint or two of blood.”

  “I hope so,” Raz said.

  F

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  An hour and a half later

  Thursday morning

  March 27 - 10:10 A.M. MDT

  St. Joseph’s Hospital, Denver, CO

  “Hi,” Alex whispered.

  John was sitting on the side of her hospital bed holding her hand.

  “Where am I?”

  “St. Joes. You’re making quite the tour of Denver hospitals. Are you checking up on me?”

  “To meet all your girlfriends?” Alex asked. “I’d have to be conscious and armed for that assignment, sir. What about your class?”

  “I’ve spoken with my attending,” he said. “As long as I can pass the test, I should be fine. I’ll need to study tonight but... Some things are more important. Do you remember getting here?”

  “Vaguely,” she said.

  “I’m sorry about the water. You probably didn’t remember the hot water was shut off today.”

  “Hooking up the new boiler to the solar, yes,” she said. “I only turned it on so the men wouldn’t hear me cry.”

  “Ah,” John said. “Good reason to give yourself hypothermia.”

  “I… I’m sorry,” she said.

  “When did you start bleeding?” John asked.

  “I don’t remember bleeding,” Alex said. “Was I bleeding?”

  “When Max found you. Yes,” John said.

  “Do I need more surgery?”

  “Yes, but not for the bleeding. You need rest. Quiet. Peace. I understand you were very upset today?”

  Alex nodded.

  “The ER doc thinks your blood pressure spiked then dropped with the cold water. Your stitches seeped. Shouldn’t happen, but... I don’t think most women have chest pounding arguments with their colleagues less than twenty-four hours after surgery.”

  “Uh.” Alex flopped back against the pillow. “I was on.”

  “So I hear,” John said. “Don’t worry. It seems like everyone survived.”

  “Trece?”

  “Oh, love, he feels bad. And he should.” John stroked her short hair. “I don’t think anyone has seen you angry. I’ve only seen it myself a few times. Horrifying, really. They are rattled but they will survive.�
��

  Staring at the ceiling, Alex wanted to pull the thin blanket over her head and hide. And she knew she couldn’t stay in the hospital.

  “We are taking you out of here,” John said. “Max and I. The press hasn’t caught on that you are here. We’ll spend the afternoon together then back to bed for you.”

  “What about work?”

  “It’s my understanding that you’re a civilian,” John said.

  Alex grimaced.

  “You get the day off. The men are working on their own puzzlement. According to Joseph, they will be busy all day today. Unless you have a problem with it, they will stay working in our basement.”

  Alex shrugged.

  “Joseph would like to see how the men do living together. They’ve moved in.”

  “I figured they already had,” she said.

  “Right. He would like you to come for a briefing this evening.”

  “And Trece? White Boy?”

  “Trece’s coming with us,” John said. “He wants a chance to talk to you.”

  “Oh. But...”

  “You need the protection,” he said. Alex turned her head away from him. He stroked the side of her face, and she turned to look at him. “I know you’re irritated with him, but he’s a lovely person. Annoying as all hell sometimes, yes, but really lovely at his core.”

  Alex grimaced.

  “Your mother would tell you that a face like that creates wrinkles,” he said.

  “What are we doing today?”

  “That, my darling, is a surprise,” he said.

  FFFFF

  One and half hours later

  Thursday morning

  March 27 – 11:45 A.M. MDT

  Denver, CO

  Alex stretched out in the back seat of Trece’s Expedition. With John in the passenger seat, Alex’s head rested in Max’s lap. From the hospital, they drove for about ten minutes. The Expedition pulled into a parking lot.

  “Be right back,” Max said.

  He and John got out of the car.

  “Where are we?” Alex asked.

  “Mc Donald’s,” Trece said.

  “Why didn’t we drive through?”

  “They’re giving us a chance to talk,” Trece said.

  Alex shifted to sitting up.

  “Don’t get up,” he said. “Do you mind if I come back there?”

  “No,” she said.

  Trece got out of the driver’s seat and took Max’s seat. Uncomfortable with herself, and him, Alex lay with her head on the middle part of the seat.

  “Max said...” Trece started then stopped. Taking a breath for courage, he continued. “Max said you figured it out at the hospital when you came out from talking to Larry. He said it was like losing Jesse, only worse because we never chose to be your friend.”

  Alex closed her eyes.

  “Is Max right?” Trece asked.

  “I never thought about it until White Boy said something… I don’t remember what it was… at base. I thought you were assigned where I was assigned like some of the other guys. We are the same age, started at the same time.”

  Alex wondered why she never realized she was their job.

  “I was always so glad to see you. I guess that’s why I thought we were friends.”

  “Don’t say that Alex,” Trece said. “We are friends. In fact, we’re more than friends. I mean, I know you rescued Vince and Matt. But you, Jesse, me and Chris? We’re buds.”

  Alex scowled.

  “You don’t believe me,” Trece said.

  “I don’t know what to believe,” Alex said. “I... You...”

  “Can’t two things be true at the same time? Isn’t it possible that I’m assigned to protect you sometimes and you are also my friend?”

  “I guess.”

  “You’re our favorite assignment. Bar none. We jump at the chance to hang out with you, our beloved Alex. And Jesse too. What’s Jesse say about all of this?”

  “What happened yesterday?” Alex asked to avoid answering his question.

  Unwilling to defy her again, yet unable to face his own behavior, Trece looked down at her then out the window.

  “We thought the Boy Scout was in Denver but I had no idea where. He thinks of us as his friends...” Noting her shocked face, he added, “NOT like you and I are friends... “

  “How did you and...?”

  “Many disgusting hours feeding him drinks and listening to him rant,” Trece said. “You never trusted him. You kept digging, asking questions, running queries about him. We were assigned to answer some of those questions.”

  “And yesterday?”

  “I thought I saw the Boy Scout on the way to the hospital. I figured I was paranoid, but Chris hit my arm and pointed. There he was. Standing like a stupid heifer on the corner.”

  “So you weren’t with a woman?”

  “I was with a woman to cover my tracks,” Trece said. “Not a great way to treat someone but she seemed to have a nice time. I...”

  “If you were working, why are you in so much trouble?”

  “Two things: I disregarded a direct order, your direct order, and you found out about our work.”

  “Oh,” Alex said.

  “God Alex.” Trece’s hand hovered over her head then stroked her fuzzy head. “I love you. Chris loves you. We’ve been through so much together. Do you really not know?”

  “I don’t know what I know or don’t know. I have a lot of doubt.”

  “Why?” Trece asked. “I’ve never known you to doubt anything, especially something you feel. I’ve never known you to have a bad friend or make a mistake on a person. I mean you married John after knowing him for thirteen hours.”

  “I wish there was more I could tell you,” Alex said. “But this year? It’s like everything is backwards. I feel one thing but something else happens.”

  “Like what?”

  “I’ve felt close to people and seen them openly disrespect me. I...”

  “I understand,” Trece said. “Do you believe me when I say you are and have always been my friend?”

  “I hear your sincerity. I reason that you don’t lie. I...”

  “What does Jesse say?” Trece asked again.

  “He says... The night I got sepsis? Last Fall? In the room? I lost my mind. Completely lost my mind. He says I don’t trust myself because of that experience.”

  “Even though it brought you back to yourself, your sanity?”

  “I guess,” Alex said.

  “They’re coming,” Trece said. John and Max stood near the car waiting for Trece’s signal. Trece waved and they came forward.

  “Why me? Why protect me, Trece?”

  “In Bosnia? Standard protocol for Senator’s children in combat situations. After Forces training? You’re a one of a kind, a national treasure. No one can do what you can do. No one. You’re too valuable to… well, everyone.”

  Max opened Trece’s door and Trece slid out. Max took his place. Alex rested her head on his lap.

  “Where to?” Trece asked from the driver’s seat.

  “I-70,” John said.

  “You know. I always wonder how they number these highways,” Trece said. “Growing up in Venice Beach, I thought...”

  As Trece’s flood of conversation filled the car, Max caught Alex’s eyes.

  “Better?” Max asked.

  She nodded.

  F

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  One and half hours later

  Thursday afternoon

  March 27 – 1:10 P.M. MDT

  Evergreen, CO

  “Do we know where we’re going?” Alex asked.

  They had been driving for more than an hour.

  “We know where we’re going, you don’t.” Max replied.

  “You’ve planned this a long time,” she said.

  “About a year,” John said.

  Trece pulled the car to a stop in front of a small house up the road from downtown Evergreen.

  “I’ll be
right back.”

  Trece went up to the door and was let into the house. Within minutes, he waved them into the house. John came around and helped her out of the back seat. With his arm tight around her, they walked up to the front door.

  “Max! John!” A middle aged woman stood in the doorway. She was average height and had the physical bearing of someone who was capable and strong. She wore riding pants, a loose top and a flowered apron. “You must be Alex. I mean, I knew you were twins but… Wow, you look alike.”

  Alex smiled.

  “Oh I forgot, you don’t know anything about this,” she laughed. “Come in! Come in!”

  Max went in first, followed by Alex and John. There was a warm aroma of fresh tomato sauce and spaghetti. They could see a family sitting down to lunch.

  “I apologize,” Alex said. “We’re interrupting.”

  “I expected you, dear,” she said. “You’re brave to come here with everything going on.”

  “I’m armed,” Alex said. Gesturing to Trece, she said, “Plus, I have my own bodyguard. It makes it a little easier.”

  The woman threw her head back and laughed.

  “Where are my manners?” she asked. “I’m Susannah Siegmann. Most people call me Sieg.” She put a hand on John’s arm. “Ready boys?”

  John and Max nodded.

  “Well, come on,” she said.

  She walked through her kitchen and down a narrow set of stairs. Trece went down after her. Alex stopped to look at Max and John.

  “I can’t get down those,” she said.

  Laughing, John swept her up in his arms. He kissed her nose.

  “I like this better anyway,” he said.

  “That’s the way to travel.” Seig said. Her big voice echoed in the stairwell. “In the arms of a handsome man. I envy you Alex. I do.”

  Nearing the basement, Alex heard a funny sound, a kind of yip or bark. She saw about a bunch of puppies playing behind a small metal fence in the corner of the basement. She gave John a questioning look. John set her down at the bottom of the stairs.

  “We wanted you to pick her,” he said.