The Alien Reindeer's Winter Cabin Read online

  I can’t tell her my real name is Rein’ok. It’s too strange. It’ll make her ask questions I won’t be able to answer without lying. I’d rather tell a small lie than the bigger one.

  I settle with, “Rain.”

  “Rain. I love it. So, Rain, what do we do now? Do you have anything to eat in this cabin?”

  It’s another question that pushes too close to uncomfortable areas of my life. She might accept that I’m vegetarian, but will she accept that my preferred method of eating is to shift into my reindeer form and graze on vegetation?

  I doubt it.

  “Sorry, no. I just arrived and haven’t had a chance to round up anything yet. Will you be okay? We can check to see if there are any cans in the cupboards. What’s mine is yours.”

  “Maybe later. I have something else I want to do first.”

  She winks and straddles me.

  Before I can get myself inside her, though, the door crashes open. Blowing snow whips inside followed by a mass of purple fur, two beaks, three tails, and one stinger that will kill either of us in seconds.

  Holly cries out, “What the hell is that?”

  A Frothmronk.

  I can’t tell her that or how I know.

  The monstrous creatures travel the galaxy sowing discord, misery, and general sadness wherever they go. The worse their environment gets, the better fed they are, and the bigger they get.

  I have no weapons to defend us.

  If the alien didn’t have the stinger, I might be able to fend him off, but the risk is too high.

  There’s only one option.

  We have to flee.

  The Frothmronk moves faster than my human shape, which I’m sure is even faster than Holly can run. If we’re going to survive, we’ll have to fly.

  Holly won’t want to talk to me afterward, but I’m not going to risk her safety just because I’m terrified of leaving her.

  She’s standing there, frozen in place with her purse clutched to her chest for some reason. My poor girl is terrified.

  I have to protect her.

  With a sigh of disappointment at being interrupted before I can finish claiming her, I grab her hand. “Trust me. I’ll get you out of here safely.”

  Holly

  What! The! Fuck!

  It feels like every few seconds this entire night spirals off in some new insane direction.

  First, a sexy naked man gets hit by my car…but is still healthy enough to fuck me silly.

  Then, we start talking about a future together, even though we’ve only known each other for a few fucking minutes.

  But this hairy thing, growling at us from the door of the cabin, is a whole ’nother level of crazy.

  Between the snarling of the monster and the insanity of the moment, I barely hear Rain’s words. I definitely don’t process them. His hand holding mine calms my nerves enough to follow where he leads me, though.

  He keeps his body directly between the monster and me, a display of bravery and chivalry that makes me swoon as if I’m about to faint. With all the endorphins, adrenaline, and random other chemicals crashing around, trying to help me stay alive, it’s no wonder my body is freaking out.

  “What’s happening?” I manage to ask as we inch toward the door. “I’m so scared.”

  The monster sniffs the air and turns. With so many beaks and eyes and limbs reaching out of its body from all directions, it’s hard to tell which way it’s facing, but it definitely takes a step toward us.

  “What do we do?” I ask.

  “Whatever you do, don’t let go of my hand until we get outside.” Rain’s voice is eerily calm, as if he’s dealt with monsters his whole life.

  Which is impossible.

  Admittedly, I just met the guy, but I don’t think there’s a person alive who even knows what the creature really is, much less how to handle one.

  His calm demeanor keeps my feet moving. The cold winter wind blasts against my face.

  The monster’s claws scratch against the wood floor as he chases us out of the cabin.

  Rain and I sprint through the dense woods.

  Branches slap against my face and naked body.

  The monster slips and falls once, but steadily gains on us.

  “Whatever happens, don’t let go of me,” Rain says. “I will protect you.”

  It’s a sweet thought, but what can he possibly do about the beast chasing us?

  I look over my shoulder once more for the briefest of seconds. By the time I look back, Rain is gone.

  So is the ground.

  I’m floating up into the air.

  When I feel coarse fur against my legs, I look down. It’s all I can do to keep from falling off when I see I’m sitting on the back of a huge reindeer.

  A flying reindeer.

  The creature below hasn’t given up. He effortlessly scales the tree trunks and jumps from branch to branch as the reindeer picks his way up through the canopy.

  But when we emerge into the empty space above the trees, the chase is over.

  Unlike the reindeer, the purple beast can’t fly.

  “What the fuck is going on?” I scream into the night.

  The reindeer looks back at me with a look in its eyes I read as guilty and apologetic.

  Great. I’m losing my goddamn mind.

  My ride banks to the south and makes a beeline for the lights on the edge of town. The cold hits me. I shiver uncontrollably. I want to wake and discover this entire night has been a dream.

  Well, not the entire night. The part with Rain was pretty incredible. Where the hell did he go? I hope he’s okay.

  The reindeer descends, but I’m so cold I can’t even focus on where it is taking me. Anywhere on the ground will be fine. Even better if there are no monsters around.

  It lands light as a feather in a mostly-empty parking lot that can hold a few hundred cars, but there are only about twenty. I almost recognize the place, but my frozen body can’t come up with the name.

  I climb down from the reindeer and pat its back. The night couldn’t get more surreal. “Thanks for saving me.”

  I’d love to stay and pet the animal and find it some food to eat. It deserves that and more for saving my life. My need to get inside and out of the cold is too great, though.

  Before I make it three steps, I fall to my knees in the snow-covered parking lot.

  When I come to, I’m inside and warm. So blessedly warm. I’m covered by a pile of blankets and next to a roaring fire. It reminds me of Rain and the cabin.

  “Welcome back, Holly,” Rain says from right above my face.

  I open my eyes and find him staring down at me, smiling broadly.

  “You’re okay! What happened? Did I fall asleep after we fucked and dream the rest?” I ask.

  “What happened indeed?” an all-to-familiar shrill voice cries out. “My own daughter shows up naked and unconscious with a naked man to my perfectly-planned anniversary party. What the hell is happening is a very good question. I’d love an answer myself.”

  I close my eyes again. “I see you’ve met my mom.”

  “Ma’am,” Rain says to my mother. “Could you and your guests give us a few minutes of privacy? We have some things to talk through.”

  “I most certainly will not leave my naked daughter alone with the naked stranger who brought her here. How do I know you won’t—”

  “Mom!” I shout. Lowering my voice, I add, “Please give us a few minutes. Rain definitely isn’t a threat. He saved my ass a few minutes ago.”

  “Nudity, and now this language. At my anniversary party. I just—”

  My dad cuts her off in the gentle way that Mom would ignore from anyone else. “Dear, come with me. Let’s get you some more Champagne. Everyone else, clear out. Holly is fine. She’ll tell us more when she’s ready.”

  I see Rain is wrapped in a similar blanket. “Some night, huh?”

  He chuckles. “Yep. We made quite a scene when we crashed the party. If I’d known it was yo
ur family, I would have tried to be more discreet, but I was panicked. I thought you might have already been exposed to the cold for too long.”

  My mind is spinning. Nothing makes sense. If the magic reindeer carried me out of the forest, how was Rain even here already? And…magic, flying reindeer? I half-expected Santa Claus to drop down the chimney with a talking, dancing snowman.

  If I were smart, I’d thank Rain for the night and go my separate way. Since meeting him, nothing has been normal. I’ll be in a straightjacket before the week is through if I don’t push him aside.

  But the night had been incredible for a while, too. Better than anything I can remember happening in my life in ages.

  Can I walk away from that kind of incredible potential?

  “Hey, I need to ask you a very delicate question,” I say. “You don’t have to answer, I guess. But I’d really like to know what the fuck is going on around here.”

  He breathes out a huge lungful of air. He seems terrified as his eyes dart around my face. When he glances at the exit, I realize things have been just as strange for him, and he might make the decision to split up for me.

  Instead, he says, “I’m an alien.”

  Fortunately, I prepared myself to comfort him after any answer he gave me, or I might say something stupid.

  “Bullshit.” I clear my throat. “Sorry. I wasn’t expecting that. Do you mean like from Mexico or Scandinavia?”

  He smiles sadly. “Not exactly.”

  Another mystery on a night full of them. “Okay. We’ll figure it out. I’ll probably need a little time to process that. Are you planning to stick around a little while, or have I scared you away?”

  “You? Scared me away?” His laugh fills the large room. “I thought you’d be the one running.”

  He kisses me. Not aggressively, and not meekly. Perfectly.

  “I’ll protect you from the Frothmronk. I swear it, Holly.”

  “The what now?”

  “Yoohoo!” Joy calls out. “Could anyone do for some hot cocoa? Coffee? Whiskey?”

  “Whiskey,” I say at the same time as Rain.

  Rein’ok

  “Are you almost done in there?” Holly asks from outside the changing room at the store she’s taken me to so we can get some proper clothes before returning to the party.

  I pull up the zipper and look at myself in the mirror. When Kris Kringle told me I’d be moving to this planet, I’d done the research. I knew I’d have to wear clothes if I wanted to try to blend in with the people from time to time, but I’d expected to hate them.

  Staring back at my reflection in the mirror, I like what I see. The forest green sweater fits snugly across my chest. The blue jeans squeeze my legs a little more than I’d like, but I can’t help but admit they make my legs look shapely. I turn and look at my butt and hope Holly approves.

  I pull open the curtain and spin so she can see me.

  She claps and says, “Oh, very nice. I think I prefer you nude, but when we have to go out in public, this will do quite nicely.”

  We hurry to the register. The pimply-faced teenager working the register must think we’re crazy, but he just scans the tags on the clothes I’m wearing and tells us the total cost.

  “I’ve got it,” Holly says, digging into her purse, “since you left your wallet at home. But you better be prepared to make up for it later.”

  She pays with something plastic that she swipes in some kind of computer.

  The poor kid blushes furiously as we finish the transaction.

  Afterward, Holly drives us back to the party in the car Joy loaned her.

  “You sure you really want to go through with this?” she asks. “I have to. They’re my family, but you can escape back to the cabin if you don’t want to deal with them. I’ll find you afterward…if you want that.”

  “I wouldn’t think of leaving your side.”

  I don’t tell her that I’m still worried we’ll be attacked again before the night is over. I don’t like it one bit that the creature has settled so close to the woman I’ve fallen for.

  It’s bad enough that I have found someone I want to be with despite my plans not to fall for a woman. There is no way I’m letting that monster take her away from me. Until I rid the planet of the foul alien, I won’t be comfortable letting Holly out of my sight.

  Holly drags me into the party and straight onto the dance floor. She locks her hands behind my head and starts moving her hips from side to side. “Dance with me, Rain. They’ll leave us alone while we’re dancing, and I’ll still get credit for being here.”

  Her body sways like the reeds blown by the wind in the tropics of my home planet. I can’t resist the temptation to move my body along with hers.

  I place my hands on her lovely hips, and we rock back and forth to the music, lost in each other’s eyes.

  “Do your eyes change color?” she asks.

  I nod. “They are normally brown, but change when I’m mad or happy, enraged or frightened. But right now, you are making them change because I’m aroused.”

  She smiles but shakes her head at the same time. “I don’t understand what you see in me. Does my big booty remind you of the girls back home?” she playfully asks, spinning her back toward me and grinding her ass against my dick.

  It takes me nearly a minute to stop laughing. “No. You definitely don’t remind me of them. They all have horns and cloven hoofs. The females don’t shift, so they’re basically a mix of this form that looks like you humans and the form that looks like reindeer. Kind of like a centaur. Our women are hardy and strong, but they do not make me think of the wind and the stars or make me want to write poetry or paint them nude.”

  When she blushes, I know I must paint her someday.

  “So what’s it like around here?” I ask. “As someone new, will I have trouble fitting in?”

  Holly glances at the others on the dance floor. “You might, at first. Most people have lived in this little town their whole lives. We have a lot more people who leave Applemore than move into it. Everyone knows everything about everyone, so it can be rough for people when they first move to town. But everyone comes around, eventually.”

  She spins along with the music and ends up facing me again.

  “Must be the mountain air,” I say. “Who could possibly be too mad about anything around here? Everything is so damn beautiful.”

  I grab her ass and pull her close. Her head tips back and her mouth opens, inviting me in for a kiss. As the music reaches a crescendo, I let myself believe this can all work out.

  I can stay in my human form forever, and we can be happy.

  Two kids dancing together bump into my legs, pulling me out of my daydream.

  “Hey, there,” I say to the short humans.

  “Who the hell are you?” the boy asks.

  “Oh, I’m…” I look at Holly, not sure what to say.

  “He’s a friend of mine,” she says. “And you clean that mouth up or I’ll tell your grandma.”

  “Ah, shit,” the kid says. “Don’t tell her. I still can’t taste anything but soap when I eat as it is. It’s been a rough fucking week.”

  The girl waves her middle fingers at us as the boy drags her away.

  Holly covers her mouth to keep from laughing and stares them down with a harsh look in her eyes until they disappear in the crowd.

  Once they are gone, she says, “Congratulations. You survived your first encounter with Billy Dee and Maggie Anne. They’re six-year-old twins who cuss worse than any sailors you’ll ever meet. Their dad is one of the guys who left town while their mom was pregnant with them. Their mom is…interesting. God, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to raise kids on her own. I should volunteer to babysit for her. You want kids someday?”

  Her eyes open wide as she realizes her question. “Sorry. Too soon, right? I’m so stupid. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just making small talk.”

  Before she can continue, I silence her with a quick kiss. “
Relax. It’s fine. I’m not looking to rush into anything, but I don’t have anything against kids. Are you looking to have them soon? Do your eggs expire while you are still young?”

  Holly tries to hold in a laugh, fails, and snorts as the giggles sweep over her. In between outbreaks of laughing, she explains she can probably have kids for another decade.

  Am I relieved because she’s not mad at my noncommittal answer or because she’s still fertile? It can’t be the latter, because there’s no way I can get her pregnant anyway.

  “I told you to stop taking my picture!” a man screams.

  “Well, you don’t have to be an asshole about it!” a woman shouts back.

  A metal tray crashes to the ground.

  “Is that their mother and some new boyfriend?” I ask.

  “No. That’s my mom and dad. Come on. Let’s go see what the hell is happening now.”

  Holly

  People seem to instinctively clear out of the way of Rain, so I follow in his wake through the crowd that’s gathered around my mom and dad. Rather than breaking them up, my friends and relatives are chanting, “Fight! Fight! Fight!” like idiots watching two kids fighting in the hallway at high school.

  “Mom, you put that cake knife down this instant!” I shout, rushing toward her.

  She waves the knife at my dad’s face. “Tell your father to apologize for calling my mom cheap.”

  “Why would you do that, Dad?” I ask.

  “She’s been asking for it for thirty years. I’m just saying the thing we’ve all been thinking.”

  I take the Champagne glass from him and chug the little that remains. I need it, and he definitely doesn’t.

  My dad wobbles on his feet. Rather than falling, he sits down in the middle of the floor and then lies down on his back. “Holly, lie down next to me. The floor is so cool. It feels great.” He reaches up for my hands. “Come on.”

  I slap his hands away. “Stop it. You’re drunk, and you’re making a scene.”

  He counters with, “Tell that to your mother. She’s the one acting like an ass.”

  Mom is bent over at the waist so far with her legs locked so straight, I worry she’s going to fall right onto her head. It’s insane. My mom and dad aren’t exactly sticks in the mud, but they are pretty reserved and dignified. I’ve never seen either behave anything like this before in my life.