Running Scared Read online

  Those were things she didn’t even have to think about.

  “An older home. At least twenty-five years or more. With a yard. Some acreage, so I can have a garden. Not so far from the city that I’d have a long commute, but far enough into the country for scenery and landscapes.”

  “And lots of windows?”

  She gave a small, solemn nod. The windows were the most important. They represented more than just light. They let her see what was coming. “Yes, lots of windows.”

  “Sounds like you’ve put some thought into it already.”

  That had been part of her therapy. Dream of beauty, grace, elegance. Imagine all the things you want to have, to surround yourself with. Replace the ugliness of your former life, a nightmare, with the beauty, the dream, of what you wanted your life to be.

  She wanted the house she bought to have been a home, a place where people had loved each other, had been happy. She didn’t know very much about love, but she knew it was powerful enough that it could linger, that it could stamp itself on a heart, a life. Why not a home?

  She knew all about evil. That it lingered and tainted, even grew. Why couldn’t its opposite do the same? Why couldn’t love destroy evil, replace it?

  Aware that she’d gone down a rabbit hole that often led to darkness, she shook herself a little and nodded toward the kitchen. “You want some coffee, something to drink?”

  “Water.”

  Grateful for the short reprieve, she went to the kitchen and poured two glasses of ice water from the pitcher in her fridge. She swallowed half of one, relishing the bracing burn of the icy cold liquid as it slid down her parched throat.

  Returning to the living room, she handed him the full glass and then sat on the edge of the chair across from him. She took another sip of water.

  For the first time, she noticed he was wearing gray running shorts and T-shirt that were slightly damp. “You’ve been running?”

  “Yeah. Should’ve gone home and showered before I came over.” His gaze bore into hers. “I didn’t want to wait.”

  “I see.”

  Justin forced himself to sit, even though he’d do much better pacing. But he had a feeling that would make her nervous. She was finally ready to tell him what she was dealing with. No way did he want to make her uneasy.

  She didn’t say anything for the longest time, just stared above his head as if lost in the past. Justin forced patience.

  “For almost eight years, I have been hiding from a man.”

  She stopped so abruptly, Justin cocked his head slightly, almost sure he’d missed something. But no, she’d clamped her mouth shut as if she had said what she intended to say and nothing more.

  “And?”

  “I’ve decided to stop running.”

  At this rate, it would be another eight years before she finished explaining. Her face had gotten paler in the last few minutes, and his gut clenched. Riley was no coward. Whatever this man had done to her was bad. And it was clear she was hesitant to tell Justin the truth. Every fiber within him wanted to go to her, hold and comfort her. The look on her face said she was closing herself off. He figured she might need to do so to get through this conversation.

  He held himself back and said the one thing that might give her the spark she needed. “Spill it, Ingram.”

  The snapping of Justin’s voice did exactly what he had hoped. Color bloomed in her cheeks, and she glared at him. “I grew up in what I thought was a normal household. My parents weren’t affectionate people, but I hadn’t known anything different. I thought everyone was like us. I was homeschooled. Had no friends. Wasn’t allowed to watch television. My parents were my world. I never questioned that life should be any different.”

  Her throat worked as she swallowed hard. “Remember I told you that my parents were killed when I was a teenager? It’s not true. They’re still alive. They gave me to a man, a stranger, on my eighteenth birthday. I never saw them again.”

  Every bit of breath left his body. Oh holy hell. He wanted to say that was ridiculous, that no parent would do anything so cruel or unfeeling, but he couldn’t because he knew she was telling the truth. Riley’s parents had given her to a stranger, apparently a sadistic stranger, and then just left her with him?

  “I escaped from him when I was twenty-one. He’s been looking for me ever since.”

  Three years she was with the creep. What had he done to her? What had she endured? And how the hell had she survived?

  “What about your parents? What happened to them?”

  “After I escaped…and was able to articulate…things, LCR searched for them. They had disappeared. Apparently, they changed their names.”

  Of all the things he had thought had happened to her, this didn’t come close to any of them. Yeah, he figured she’d been assaulted or abused in some way. But to have her family betray her in the worst possible way? The people who were supposed to support and care for her no matter what?

  The details she had given him were ridiculously sketchy. Who was this bastard, and how the hell did he get away with this crime for all these years? But if he pressed for more, she would shut down. His only option was to allow her to tell her story at her own pace.

  “What made you decide to stop running?”

  She jerked her head up, frowning a little. “That’s all you’ve got to say? No questions about how or why? You believe me?”

  “Believe you? Riley, you’re my partner, my friend, my—” He broke off, took a breath. “I trust you with my life. Why would I question you about this?”

  “Maybe because it’s so damned unfathomable?”

  “I’ve seen the shit people can do to each other, even families. Not much shocks me anymore.”

  She slumped down onto the chair as though exhausted.

  “The son of a bitch who did this to you. What happened to him?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What? Why not?”

  “When I was found, I remembered three things. The man’s name is Dimitri. He lives in Greece. And he’s wealthy.”

  “So you have, or had, amnesia?”

  “Selective. The counselors told me I remembered only the things my mind could handle. I remembered my parents and what they did to me, leaving me with that bastard. I remember screaming, crying, and a sting in my neck. He must’ve drugged me. I remember waking up in a completely different place.”

  Her voice went softer. “I remember some of the things he did. Too many, really. Years ago, I tried hypnosis, hoping to remember something that would be of use. I wanted to find Dimitri, make him pay. The things I remembered weren’t really helpful for that kind of information. Most of my memories were of pain and fear. Nothing beneficial, so I stopped.”

  She swallowed hard, continued, “Remember last year when we were searching for Kacie?”

  “Yes.”

  “The chains in the bedroom. The blood. We’d come across scenes like that before, and though they disturbed me, I never related to them. But that one scene triggered something for me. Since then, I’ve been having more nightmares. I’m remembering more and thought I could try hypnosis again. If that didn’t work, I was ready to try some of the new memory drugs. Hoping something would spur a memory that would lead us to Dimitri.”

  He didn’t know if he’d ever admired anyone more. She had to be the strongest, most courageous person he’d ever known. Instead of allowing what that bastard did to her destroy her, she was still fighting, still determined to win.

  “Turns out, that’s not going to be necessary,” she said.

  “How’s that?”

  “A man named William Larson contacted Noah a few days ago. He claimed he was looking for his daughter. He showed Noah a photograph. It was me.”

  “William Larson is your father?”

  “When I lived with him, his name was Lloyd King.”

  “He changed his name so Lloyd King would no longer exist.”

  “Yes. Noah figured he and my mo…” She shook
her head. “He and his wife did that after I escaped Dimitri. They could take no chances. If I survived my escape, they knew the authorities would come looking for them.”

  He had so many more questions, but the exhaustion on her face told him she was near the end of her reserves. But he had to know one more thing.

  “So how are we going to get these bastards?”

  Her mouth twisted in a mockery of a smile. “Expect a call to come in on an op soon.”

  “This is going to be an LCR op? Why can’t they just be arrested?”

  “Because Larson told Noah they have another ‘daughter’ at home. She’s sixteen.”

  Comprehension came quick. “You believe they’re going to do to her what they did to you.”

  “That’s our theory. We’ve got to rescue her before that happens. If they wait until she’s eighteen, like they did with me, we’ve got time. But there’s no guarantee. We have to move now.”

  “I’m sure it’s occurred to you that those people most likely aren’t your parents.”

  “Believe me, out of everything I’ve learned today, this might be the most joyous news of all. I just hope I can get the truth out of them.”

  “Knowing you don’t have their blood in your veins has got to be a relief.”

  “What if my real parents are just as bad as Larson?”

  “Could they be any worse?”

  “No.”

  “Then don’t borrow trouble. You could have been kidnapped. They might still be trying to find you.”

  That was a possibility that hadn’t hit her yet. Could she actually have family somewhere who wanted her? Who might actually be decent people? Her memories of her childhood were sketchy at best, but she didn’t remember any other parents, didn’t remember the trauma of being kidnapped.

  She pushed that worry aside. It was way down on her list of priorities. Right now their focus was on the young girl in the clutches of monsters who might sell her to the highest bidder without a hint of hesitation or remorse. She was the important one now.

  “What’s the plan?”

  “We haven’t talked logistics yet. But since Larson requested LCR’s assistance in locating me, it should be simple enough. Noah can contact Larson and tell him I’ve been located. We come up with a convincing story of where I’ve been for the past eight years. Depending on how that plays out, we’ll go from there. Either way, a team will be in place to get the young girl away from the Larsons.”

  “And Dimitri?”

  “It’s Noah’s belief that Larson will contact Dimitri and tell him I’ve been found. We’ll set up a sting. As soon as I’m in his presence, I’ll take him down.”

  The dichotomy of the outrage in his eyes and the calm expression on his face was an interesting study in Justin’s personality. She knew he was opinionated and could be as outspoken as anyone. However, Justin had learned to temper his responses with caution. He could and would explode if pushed, but more often than not, he hung back, waited, and watched. If he struck, it was with swift and brutal force. That didn’t happen very often. She’d only ever seen him completely lose his cool once. They had rescued a kidnap victim from a human-trafficking ring. The child had been so badly beaten, they’d thought he was dead. Justin had broken away from the LCR group and gone after the man who’d hurt him. It had taken three people to pull Justin off the man’s unconscious body.

  She had always relied on her partner’s restraint, recognizing it as one of his greatest strengths. But the grim look in his eyes told her he was fighting hard to hold on to it.

  “Dimitri doesn’t know what I’m capable of now, Justin. Eight years ago, I was a timid, weak young girl who couldn’t defend herself against a puppy. He will have no idea that the young girl he abused can and will kick his ass to hell and back.”

  “He’ll have men to protect him. You said he’s wealthy. He might have an army. You can’t protect yourself against an army.” His voice, though calm, held a hard edge. “If he tries to hurt you again, I’ll rip him apart.”

  She nodded. Dissuading him would do no good. Telling him that Dimitri was hers to take down would only inspire an argument that neither of them would win.

  A chime sounded, and Justin pulled his phone from his pocket and clicked a key.

  “What is it?”

  “Text from McCall. Briefing tomorrow afternoon.

  She shivered. It had begun. Soon, everyone would know. She began to back away from him both mentally and physically. She needed time to regroup, settle herself down, and prepare for tomorrow.

  “It’s late. You probably need to get home. Get some rest.”

  “No.”

  “What?”

  “I want to stay here with you.”

  “Justin. I—” She swallowed hard. “I… Why?”

  “Because we have something, Riley. We’re not just partners, not just friends. Something even more real is going on between us. For just a little while, push all of this aside and think about the here and now. About us.”

  “I know. I feel it, too. It’s just…” She was overwhelmed, almost breathless. Her heart pounded with both exhilaration and fear. “I don’t know that I’m able to—I’ve never…”

  His eyes were an exhilarating mixture of tenderness and heat. “It doesn’t matter. We’ll work that out together. You matter to me, Riley. It’s been so damn long since I’ve felt anything real, so believe me, I know the difference. Don’t shut me down. Let me stay. Let me hold you. Be with you.”

  Taking what might be the most difficult step of her life, Riley went to him and held out her hand. “Come with me.”

  “I need to shower. Take one with me?”

  Her heart was beating so hard, she barely heard her own whispered words. “I have scars.”

  “I have them, too, both inside and out.” He pulled her close, spoke against her mouth. “Let’s heal each other.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  If anyone had told her an hour ago that she would soon be leading Justin Kelly into her bathroom and taking a shower with him, she would’ve told them they were either delusional or they had been inside her daydreams.

  She stood in the middle of the bathroom without any idea how to proceed. Intimacy was foreign to her. She knew all about rape and abuse. What body parts could cause fear, revulsion, extreme pain. But the pleasure and delight one person could give another was beyond her realm of knowledge. She was twenty-nine years old and hadn’t a clue what to do next.

  Fortunately, Justin knew. He gathered her into his arms, gently, tenderly. She felt no threat, no fear. The instant his mouth touched hers, any remaining anxiety ceased. Yes, this was what she wanted, what she needed. This was Justin, and despite all the impediments in their way, she was going to take this gift, this precious, ageless moment in time, and savor the magic.

  Wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders, she stood on her toes and leaned into him, giving herself up to the beauty she hadn’t believed existed outside of her own dreams. Heat suffused her body, inside and out. She whimpered, glorying in the incredible, delicious heat of him. He was a unique blend of solid steel, hot desire, and melting tenderness. And for just this moment, he was all hers.

  Releasing her lips, reluctantly, slowly, he growled, “Let’s take a shower before it’s too late.”

  She knew he wasn’t talking about the time. She’d felt the hardness, the evidence that he wanted her as much as she wanted him. Yes, she was scared, even embarrassed, but the need overwhelmed her fears.

  With quick efficiency, Justin stripped out of his clothes, dropping them on the floor. Even though she told herself to do the same, she couldn’t move a muscle as she watched him. He was built for strength and endurance. Powerful muscles, sleek, golden skin. Every inch spoke of discipline and determination. His erection stood hard and vital, jutting up toward his belly button. It should have scared her. Her body and mind had known violence. The appendage should have triggered horrific memories. It didn’t. She didn’t need to ask herself wh
y. She knew. This was Justin. He would never do anything to hurt her.

  Tentatively, she reached out and touched him there. A sharp, inhaled gasp of air told her she’d surprised him. She glanced up at his eyes. They gleamed with tenderness, humor, and heat. He liked her touch.

  She cleared her throat. “I know how this works. The…uh, mechanical side of things. But I’m definitely not an expert on techniques.”

  “Look at me.” When she did, he took her hand and kissed the palm. “You have nothing to fear from me. We stop any time you say so. You want to go slow, fast…whatever you need. Got that?”

  She nodded, and then with barely a quiver of nerves, she let go of his hand and stripped out of her shirt, shoes, and jeans. In less than a minute she was standing before him, completely bare.

  Justin took in her beauty. She was slender, small-framed, almost delicate looking. With small, perfect breasts and brownish-pink nipples. A flat stomach and toned legs. Yes, she had scars. They probably looked worse to her than they did to him. To her, they were marks of horror and fear, remnants of the shameful things that had been done to her. To Justin, they were a badge of courage, of fortitude and strength. The scars didn’t define her. Her strength and resilience were revealed through them.

  “I know that being told you’re beautiful isn’t something you want to hear. But hear me on this, Riley Ingram. In every way that counts, both inside and out, you are the personification of the word beauty.”

  He worried the words were the wrong ones, but she smiled widely. “Thank you. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear you say that.”

  He held out his hand, and they stepped into the shower together. It was a large one, and the image of them standing beneath the spray as they lost themselves in each other was a strong temptation. He told himself that could come later. For now, their first time, when she was feeling both vulnerable and awkward, they would give themselves to each other in the traditional way. That didn’t mean, however, they couldn’t get to know each other more intimately. To him, part of the enjoyment of sex was the journey of discovery.

  With that in mind, Justin soaped up his hands and slid them down Riley’s wet, silky body. She was a joy to touch, firm in most places, exquisitely soft and malleable in others. Within seconds, he heard her moan. He smiled at the delightful sound.