More Than Rum (The Maple Leaf Series Book 3) Read online

Once fucked up, always fucked up.

  Shitty situation, but he couldn’t shake it. And he certainly couldn’t ask a perfectly wonderful woman like Hope Stannard to tolerate the mess he’d become.

  So, he’d done the mature thing and… avoided her.

  Looking at her now though, as she rose to her tiptoes and pressed the wet paper towels to his busted lip, he forgot why avoiding her had seemed like the right course of action.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. “If you hadn’t shown up…” She let the sentence go unfinished as she shivered.

  Put your arms around her, idiot.

  That was what he should have done. Anyone could see it was what she needed, maybe even what she wanted, but he couldn’t lead her on. He couldn’t pretend they could have something between them. He was too broken. Just too broken.

  “Do you want me to call Rick to drive you home?” Jake asked, already on his way to get the phone.

  Adam closed his fingers around Hope’s wrist and gently tugged so the paper towel was no longer soothing his lip. “I’ll take her.” He couldn’t be sure, but it sounded as if those words came out of his own mouth.

  Hope smiled, but it was a sad one—one that put a few cracks in Adam’s armor. “That’s okay, fellas. I’m all set.” She studied the bloody paper towel in her hand for a silent moment then walked to the trash bin and tossed it. “I’ll be sure to get my keys out while I’m still inside the building like any smart woman would do. You’d think I never watched television or something. Obviously a woman in a dark parking lot is asking for trouble.”

  “No one asks for trouble,” Adam said.

  She shrugged ever so slightly, making her straight blonde hair slide over her left shoulder. His fingers itched to touch those silky strands, but he jammed his hands into the pockets of his jacket instead.

  Glancing at his lip, which actually did feel better after she’d tended to it, Hope said, “Nice to see you, Adam. Thanks again.”

  Before he could decide he shouldn’t let her leave, she’d bid Jake farewell and was gone.

  Adam felt Jake’s eyes on him. “What?” He licked at his lip, wondering how big the slice was.

  “You’re goin’ to go after her, ain’t you?” The man rubbed his beard as if he were watching an alien species or a moron making a grave mistake.

  “Probably not the best idea.”

  “Why the hell not? I saw the way she looked at you.” Jake stepped toward the door as if he were going to make sure Hope got to her car without incident. Blue and red lights flickered in the front windows, signaling the police had pulled into the lot, so Jake led Adam to a booth in the corner of the empty tavern instead.

  Adam slid into the seat across from Jake and shed his jacket after putting his baseball cap back on. The cap Hope had retrieved for him. “She has no business looking at me.”

  “Maybe so, but—”

  Adam held up a hand. “Look, I’m here for an interview, right? Let’s get that underway.”

  Jake studied him. “If you don’t know how to act ’round the ladies, I’m not sure you can handle bartendin’, kid.”

  “I can handle it.” Bartending was simple. It was life Adam couldn’t handle.

  Chapter Two

  Fortunately, a police car zipped into the parking lot when Hope stepped out of the tavern. That didn’t leave her time to get all paranoid and relive the attack frame by frame. It also didn’t afford her the opportunity to analyze the fact that Adam hadn’t walked her out. He’d swooped in to her rescue and accepted her attention to his split lip, but that was it. He wasn’t going to give her more.

  A shame.

  With his blond buzz cut, hazel eyes, and Marine body, Hope definitely wanted more. They’d gone on a couple dates, mostly with Sage and Orion, who were now engaged and ridiculously happy together, and her cousin Rick and his new wife, Lily. Hope was definitely beginning to feel like the Official Unmarriable Old Maid of the group.

  The time she’d spent with Adam had been… nice. They’d had dinner, drinks, a couple rounds of pleasurable kissing, but he held back. Hope could feel it in the way he was always careful not to touch her too much, not to let his kisses linger, not to move them to the next level.

  There was something Adam wasn’t telling her.

  Damned if she was going to poke and prod for the big secret though. He could hide under his baseball cap all he wanted. He’d either tell her what was going on with him or he wouldn’t. It didn’t make a difference.

  Except that it does.

  Sighing, Hope walked toward the police car as two officers got out. She instantly recognized them as the officers who had handled the craziness Orion’s ex-wife had caused him a few months back. The Stannard crew had kept in touch with the officers after they’d solved the case and helped Orion get custody of his daughter, Myah.

  “Evening, Hope,” Kevin said.

  “Are you okay?” Diana folded Hope into a hug.

  “I’m fine. Not a scratch on me.” She looked at the officers. “Thanks to Adam.”

  “File that under Interesting, right?” Diana gave Hope a little nudge with her elbow.

  “Extremely.” Hope rubbed her own hands up and down her arms. The purple fleece jacket she wore wasn’t doing the job of keeping her warm anymore. She wanted to say the weather had gotten colder since this afternoon, but knew that wasn’t true aside from a few degrees or so. The cold she now felt came from the inside. Chilled over being attacked. Frozen by Adam’s not so friendly reappearance.

  She sifted out a long breath. “So I suppose you two need a statement.”

  “We do love to collect them,” Kevin said.

  “I’ll follow you down to the station,” she said. “I’d rather not take this… event home to my mother’s house.”

  “Roger that,” Kevin said. “You all right to drive?”

  Hope nodded and gave the officers a wave. She liked how neither of them budged until she was behind the wheel in her Jeep.

  Vermont’s finest.

  With a glance back to the tavern front doors, part of her hoping Adam would come storming out and wrap her in a big, protective hug, she let loose another sigh and pulled out of the parking lot. The police car followed immediately behind her, and Hope kept an eye on her speedometer for the entire drive to the St. Jamesbury station. Nothing more unsettling than having a police escort when adhering to the speed limit wasn’t one of your strong points.

  Getting attacked was perhaps more unsettling. Just a bit.

  Hope rolled her shoulders and stretched her neck as she pulled into the police station parking lot. Kevin and Diana drove past her and parked their squad car, but she didn’t get out of her vehicle until they walked toward her, which made her mad. Waiting for them suggested that perhaps maybe possibly she was a wee bit… what was the word she was searching for?

  Uneasy?

  Uncertain?

  Un-brave?

  Take your pick. She knew she wasn’t the brave one in the Stannard clan. She wasn’t sassy and bold like Sage. Hope almost never said exactly what was on her mind. She also wasn’t strong like her mother Joy, who had raised two of her own children plus her nephew without any help from anyone else. She certainly wasn’t braver than Rick, who had survived a heart attack at a young age.

  Nope. She was Hope. The person people often described as nice, kind, quiet. All perfectly great words until they made you invisible.

  Kevin and Diana escorted her up the stairs of the St. Jamesbury police station and into a room with a small table and two chairs. Diana gestured to one chair and Hope sat. Taking the chair opposite her while Kevin stood nearby, Diana powered up a tablet and prepared to take Hope’s statement.

  Running the scenario over in her mind, Hope shuddered in her seat. She zipped her fleece jacket up higher.

  “I’ll get you a coffee,” Kevin said.

  “Thanks.”

  He offered her a small smile then left.

  “He’s a good partner,” Hope said. r />
  Diana pursed her lips. “He has his moments.”

  They spent the next twenty minutes going over what happened at the tavern. Hope could only positively identify her attacker’s rough gloves and the smell of his jacket, having not gotten a clear view of his face in the darkness.

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  Diana looked up. “For what?”

  “That I didn’t get a good look at him.”

  “It’s not going to matter. We’ve got the bastard in custody already, and Adam did get a good look at him.” Diana tapped the screen of her tablet then handed it off to Kevin. “Take care of this, will you, handsome?”

  Kevin grinned and gave Hope a nod before leaving.

  At Hope’s raised brow, Diana said, “It’s more likely Sencotte will do what I ask him to if I compliment him.” She shook her head. “Doesn’t matter if I mean it or not.”

  “But you do, don’t you?” Hope leaned forward, wishing for a juicy tidbit to take her mind off everything that loitered in her skull.

  “I guess he’s not bad to look at. If you have to be stuck with a partner in the tight confines of a squad car, why not with an over-six-foot male specimen, right?” Diana gave her a sly smile, one black-brown eye winking.

  “I want to know more about this.”

  Diana waved a finger then hooked her curly jet-black hair behind her ear. “No way. This is top secret. I will throw your ass in jail if you suggest in front of anyone that I spend a part of each work day imagining Sencotte naked.”

  Hope burst out laughing, and Diana joined in until Kevin came back and stared at them as if they were out of their minds.

  “What did I miss?” he asked, which only made them laugh harder. “Well, I’m glad everyone is so jovial.” He frowned, and Hope could see why Diana might think he was cute. Not your standard handsome either. He had full lips but they were slightly askew, giving his face the hint of a smile at all times. Except when he was playing the bad cop, which Hope had seen before the two police officers had gotten to know Orion and Sage. And Diana was right—Kevin was tall, the monochrome coloring of the St. Jamesbury Police Department’s uniform emphasizing the fact that he was one long line of crime-fighting muscle.

  Damn. Part of Hope wished she had noticed how hot Officer Kevin Sencotte was earlier.

  “We’re all done here, right?” he asked Diana.

  “Yep.” Diana grabbed Hope’s hand on the table. “Do you want to hang out or something? My shift is done.”

  Hope squeezed her hand. “Thanks, Diana, but you guys have done enough by catching that jerk. I’m fine.” At Diana’s long stare, she added, “Honest. I’m okay.”

  Diana slid her hand off Hope’s and stood. “If you’re sure.”

  “I am. It was a fluke thing. I mean, think about all the times we’ve been in and out of Black Wolf Tavern without any incident at all. The chances of what happened today ever happening again are slim.” Hope hiked her purse up onto her shoulder and stood as well.

  “Statistically, you’re right,” Kevin said, “but mentally, your brain might try to fuck with you later.” He rested a hand on Hope’s shoulder. “Don’t let it.”

  “Aye-aye.” She saluted him then accepted Diana’s hug. “Thanks again, guys.”

  “Adam did the hard part,” Kevin said.

  And here I was almost forgetting about Adam.

  Forgetting about Adam. That appeared to be something her mind couldn’t quite accomplish.

  ****

  “What the hell happened to your lip?” Adam’s sister, Wendie, walked clear across his living room and cupped his face in her hands.

  “It’s nothing.” He squirmed free of her grip and changed the channel on the television.

  “It doesn’t look like nothing, Little Bro. Let me have a look.” She tugged at his long-sleeved camouflaged T-shirt, but he swatted her hand away. “I said I’m fine.”

  “No, you didn’t. What you said was, ‘It’s nothing.’ You never said you were fine.”

  He knew his nurse sister meant well, but he was seriously picturing his hands around her neck right now. “Wendie, please, can I just watch this?”

  She looked over her shoulder at the television. “Oh, because this episode of The Big Bang Theory can’t wait a few moments?”

  “No. It can’t.”

  Couldn’t Wendie feel his bad mood? It was like a third person in the room with them. He didn’t even know why he felt this wretched. He’d done a good thing by helping Hope. When he thought about all the ways that incident could have ended, his fists tightened and his teeth clenched. How could anyone attack Hope? She was… she was…

  What is she?

  Adam didn’t have the right word, but Hope Stannard was something. Something he wanted. Something his life was definitely missing.

  “Something you wouldn’t know what to do with,” he said.

  “Huh?” Wendie angled her head at him. “Adam, seriously. You’re acting weird even for you. Please tell me what happened today.”

  When he slid his gaze to his sister’s concerned face, he scrubbed a hand down his face and shut off the television. “Some asshole attacked Hope Stannard outside Black Wolf Tavern.”

  Wendie popped off the couch where she’d been sitting beside him. “Attacked? Is she okay?”

  “She’s fine. I got there in time to rip the jackass off her before he could… before…” He waved his hand, hoping to God Wendie would be able to come to the logical conclusion on her own, because he couldn’t say it out loud.

  His sister’s eyes widened. “Jesus Christ, Adam. Good thing you were there.”

  Yeah, such a hero. He didn’t feel like a hero.

  “Did that douchebag do that to your lip?” She gestured to the split that had finally stopped bleeding about an hour ago. Now it stung if he smiled. Good thing he didn’t plan on doing much of that tonight.

  Or ever.

  “He got in one punch,” Adam said. “Kevin and Diana hauled him away. His address is the St. Jamesbury police station.”

  “Good.” Wendie leveled her gaze on him. “And seeing Hope was…”

  Adam shrugged. “I don’t know.” Wonderful. Exciting. Depressing.

  “Oh, Adam.” She sat next to him on the couch and rested her head on his shoulder. “I wish I could help get you un-fucked-up.”

  “Me too.”

  Wendie had been so hopeful about the experimental PTSD treatment. She’d been supportive, a top-notch big sister, but when you couldn’t be fixed, you couldn’t be fixed. End of story.

  “You hungry? I could make you something.” She lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him.

  He rubbed his hand over his stomach, which was empty, but the thought of putting food in there made him slightly green. “Nah. I’m good.”

  His sister’s eyes drilled into his temple for a few silent moments as he turned the television on again. Not even Dr. Sheldon Cooper’s antics could numb his senses tonight. Every time he blinked, he pictured Hope pinned against the bar, that gutter trash right up in her face. His hands had been on her. He’d breathed the same air as her. He’d made plans to touch her, to take what was most definitely not his to take.

  Adam let out a growl that had Wendie angling her head at him. Jesus Christ. What was wrong with him?

  Too many things to count.

  “I’m going to work out.” He slid his feet off the coffee table. Pulling himself to the edge of the couch cushion, he set his hand on Wendie’s knee. “Thanks for coming by.”

  “But get the hell out?” She nudged him with her shoulder.

  “I’m glad you speak my language.” He elbowed her back.

  “And you can always tell me anything. You know that, right?”

  He did. He totally did, but some things a guy couldn’t say out loud. Some horrors that had been witnessed wouldn’t be good to put into words. Some dark events made even the worst nightmares seem like a stroll in the sunshine.

  “I know, Wendie. Than
ks.” Giving her knee a squeeze, he stood and crossed the living room to the kitchen. He downed a tall glass of water in one continuous gulp, wincing slightly as the rim pressed against his split lip, and headed down the short hall to his bedroom.

  The beauty of owning a workshop barn was that everything in his apartment above was right there. The living room, kitchen, and dining room were one big open space with gorgeous hickory floors Adam and Orion had put in themselves. A few quick steps down the hall was his bedroom, a bathroom, and a big bonus room he used as a home gym. Below that was his workshop where he housed all his lumberjacking equipment, plus the woodworking essentials—table saw, miter saw, scroll saw, planer, jointer, drill press, and lathe among his favorites. He could lose himself in the shop.

  Woodworking therapy.

  Probably the best treatment he was going to get, but a man could only build so many things before he realized he was avoiding dealing with his problems.

  As he changed into sweatpants and a plain gray T-shirt, he heard Wendie open his refrigerator.

  “Adam!”

  Shit. Busted.

  She appeared in the hallway as he stepped out of his bedroom, her hands on her hips in that Bossy Big Sister way she’d spent years perfecting. “There is no food in your refrigerator.”

  “Your point?” He leaned against the wall and folded his arms across his chest.

  “My point is you’re going to starve.” She poked a finger into his stomach.

  “No, I won’t. You won’t let me.” He offered her something that may have been a smile, but he couldn’t be sure.

  Wendie gathered her unruly brown hair into a messy bun and mumbled something he couldn’t understand. She did that a lot around him. “Come over when you’re done pumping up or whatever it is you do with all those weights and what not. I’ll have something healthy for you.”

  “No celery.” He hated those stringy fibers that refused to break when he bit into celery. Just thinking of them now had him involuntarily shuddering.

  “I’m going to make you a celery sandwich with a side of celery and you’ll eat every bite.” She gave him a wave and headed out the door. Her cabin was only a short walk across the property the two of them shared. A gift from their parents when they high-tailed it down to Florida and warmer temperatures, the land was mostly wooded except for the six-acre cleared spot that had his barn on one end and Wendie’s cabin on the other.