Kiss Me for Christmas Read online

  A few minutes later, they turned into a small square with a number of brightly lit shops and open market stalls, all strung with Christmas lights.

  “We need to get you some gloves. Here.” Hugh walked over to a nearby stand. Patterned scarves in vivid jewel tones waved like banners in the chilly breeze. Chunky hand-knitted hats and gloves were piled high on the table: bright reds and greens in Christmas patterns for kids on one side and subtle, sophisticated shades in adult sizes on the other. Hugh picked up a pair of thick gloves and held Anna’s hand against them to check the size.

  “Green or blue?” The soft cashmere gloves were warm against her skin, but it was Hugh’s casual grip that set her pulse racing.

  “Blue. I mean, you shouldn’t be buying me gloves. I’ll lose them.”

  “Tie them on a string.”

  She looked up into his laughing eyes, and her heart skipped. She wanted to say yes to him. To everything. She nodded slowly. “Maybe I will.”

  “Here, try this on.” Hugh handed her a matching woolly hat. “That should keep you warm.”

  Anna pulled it on, but it wouldn’t fit over her neatly pinned knot of hair. Hugh raised a challenging eyebrow. She shrugged and took out the pins, letting her hair spill down below her shoulders.

  He smiled. “Beautiful.”

  “The hat?”

  “You.”

  She caught her breath. “Hugh,” she warned.

  “It’s my New Year’s resolution.”

  “What is?”

  “To be completely honest.”

  “But it’s not the New Year.”

  “No, but I need to start practicing now.”

  “Idiot,” she said mildly. She couldn’t be angry with him for a compliment like that.

  It was hard to be angry with him at all. If only things were different. Anna couldn’t ask for a better man than Hugh. He was kind, he was thoughtful, and he knew how to make her laugh even on the worst days.

  When he kissed her, he made her feel like the most precious, most cherished woman in the world. When he smiled at her, as he did now, it was as though he lit up the world just for her.

  “Put your gloves on,” he said.

  She did, and then held up her hands to show him.

  Hugh grinned and took hold of them. “Warmer now?”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  “Good. Let’s walk along the river for a bit.”

  A fine mist diffused the afternoon light, giving the city a soft-focus glow. As they wandered along the Embankment, Anna and Hugh passed street vendors selling roasted chestnuts and others with piles of sweet-scented pine trees. A choir of wide-eyed children sang carols outside the National Theatre, their pure, clear voices full of innocent wonder. Anna stopped to listen, caught by her own childhood memories. The awe she used to feel at a world transformed by tinsel and sparkling lights. The hope that anything was possible in a world where reindeer pulled sleighs full of presents through the sky.

  Hugh led her to a nearby bench, where they sat and listened together for a long time. Anna watched the river slumber past, all the lights reflected in its dark water, like an impressionist painting brought to life.

  She sighed.

  “Are you okay?” Hugh asked.

  “Yes.” She leaned forward, gazing into the dark water of the Thames. “I just wish every day could be like this.”

  “Cold and damp?”

  She elbowed him.

  “Isn’t it enough just to enjoy the moment?” Hugh asked.

  She shook her head firmly. “No. It’s lovely while it lasts, but it doesn’t make anything else better.”

  “Anything else being?”

  Anna bit her lip. “Work.”

  “But you like work.”

  “Sometimes I do.”

  “So what else?”

  “Karaoke?” she offered.

  “Your karaoke is excellent,” Hugh replied solemnly. “Especially that last song.”

  “‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’?”

  “Exactly.” He took her hand in his and leaned down. “Anna?” he murmured.

  He smelled so good. So warm. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to know what it felt like when she wasn’t drunk. Would it stop her heart the way it had before?

  Could she just enjoy this moment?

  She edged forward until her lips just brushed against his. “Hugh.”

  He didn’t ask. He didn’t need to. She opened her mouth to his, and he took the invitation. His lips were gentle and soft. She hadn’t remembered that, but she liked the unhurried way he gave himself over to the moment. He took his time, letting his lips linger on hers. Impatient, she pressed back, urging him on, slipping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

  His hands slid under her coat, cold through her blouse and jacket but still detonating fireworks in every nerve ending. “Anna,” he whispered. “My beautiful Anna.”

  She pulled away with a jerk. “No.” She shook her head. “No, Hugh, not yours.”

  He held her arms and gazed grimly down at her. “How long are you going to keep pretending?”

  She avoided his gaze. “I’m not pretending.”

  “You want me.”

  “I wanted to enjoy the moment. I thought it would be enough.”

  “Was it?” His voice was savage with hurt.

  Anna’s vision swam. Desperately, she blinked back bitter tears. “It has to be.”

  Hugh took hold of her chin and lifted her face until he could look into her eyes. “I never realized you were such a coward.”

  His words hit her like a blow to her stomach. She jerked away and wrapped her arms around herself.

  “I’ll see you back at the office,” he said curtly. “Keep the hat and gloves. Consider them an early Christmas present.”

  She didn’t look up until long after he was gone. The sun was low in the sky, and the river reflected its deep, fiery red light. The choir had gone, leaving only the memory of their joyful carols.

  She checked her watch. She couldn’t be home late today. Her mother’s care worker had been happy to stay the night before, on double pay, while Anna was at the Christmas party. It was the one night of the year when she could let her hair down and pretend she was a normal, unmarried thirty-something woman with no responsibilities. But today brought back the reality of a mother with early-onset Alzheimer’s, who couldn’t be left home alone.

  Chapter Three

  Three times.

  Hugh stomped back to the office, grinding down his injured pride with every step.

  Three times they’d kissed, and three times Anna had rejected him. Surely that was more than enough for any man to take the hint.

  He’d never wasted time chasing a woman who wasn’t interested. What was the point? He moved on and found someone else. He didn’t stick with women when it got difficult, either. That drove his mother nuts, but it made sense to Hugh. Why stay when it stopped being fun? Life was too short.

  So, that was it. For over a year, Anna Gardner had been an itch he’d needed to scratch. The other women he’d gone out with hadn’t been able to dislodge Anna from his thoughts. Today she’d done it herself. She’d made it quite clear that she wasn’t interested, so Hugh was moving on.

  Only Anna was interested. She’d enjoyed their kisses every bit as much as he had. He knew she enjoyed his company. But more than that, when she’d gazed into his eyes and leaned up to whisper in his ear, he’d known she wanted more. She wanted him. So why did she keep pushing him away? And why did he keep going back for more?

  He’d reached his second-floor office, and he was still thinking about her. Damn the woman. Hugh slammed the door shut behind him. He wouldn’t go back to her again. Three times was enough—more than enough. He glared at his computer and tapped out a curt response to a particularly inane client query.

  If only she didn’t kiss him so sweetly and look at him as if he were a damn hero. If only he didn’t feel the need to wrap his arms around her and tell
her he would make everything right for her. If only he could get the woman out of his mind for half a second so he could do his job.

  He sighed heavily. It was no good. He still wanted her. He would give her one more chance, but he needed a new strategy.

  Hugh picked up his phone.

  Chapter Four

  Hugh checked the address again, then rang the doorbell. He stepped back to survey the house. This was where Anna lived? A small terraced house with straggling end-of-season potted geraniums and lace nets in the windows? It looked like the home of an elderly person, not the smart, professional young woman he knew.

  This was definitely the place, though. Hugh had pulled in a couple of favors to get Anna’s address. He’d thought about calling her but hadn’t wanted to give her the opportunity to put him off.

  She was slow to answer the door. Maybe she wasn’t home, and he’d wasted his time. He was about to ring a second time when the door opened a crack.

  “Hi,” Hugh said with a confident smile he didn’t feel. “I brought Chinese.”

  Anna frowned. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to see you. I brought takeaway.” He held up the bag.

  “You can’t. I don’t…” Panic flashed in her eyes. Why would she be nervous about crispy duck and king prawn chow mein?

  “Have you already eaten?” He thought he’d come early enough to avoid that possibility. She wasn’t dressed to go out, not in a russet-red casual woolly jumper and faded jeans. Her hair was tied back loosely, so that it framed her beautiful face. Without makeup, she looked younger. More vulnerable.

  Anna glanced back into the house. “No, I haven’t eaten. But you need to go.”

  A door banged shut somewhere inside. Anna’s eyes flickered.

  Hugh cursed under his breath. There was someone else. That was why she’d resisted him. She had another guy. Why hadn’t she just told him? He would have backed off straightaway.

  “Sorry,” he ground out. “I didn’t know. You should have told me. I’ll go.”

  Anna nodded. Hugh turned to leave. She called after him with an odd desperation, “I’m sorry.”

  He didn’t look back.

  “Anna? Anna, are you there, love?”

  Hugh froze.

  Not a lover. An elderly woman.

  He turned. Anna hadn’t closed the door, and he could see the other woman silhouetted against the light.

  “I’m just coming, Mum.” He’d never heard her so tender and patient.

  “Who was that at the door, dear?”

  “No one, Mum.”

  “Anna.” Hugh didn’t know what else to say.

  She glanced back, shaking her head in a mute plea.

  “He looks like a nice young man, dear. Why don’t you invite him in?”

  “He’s just leaving, Mum.” Anna’s eyes met his.

  Hugh smiled brightly at Anna’s mother. “I’d like to come in.”

  “There you are, dear.”

  Anna shrugged helplessly. “You’d better come in. But don’t upset her,” she muttered.

  Hugh nodded. “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.” He turned to Anna’s mother. “I’m Hugh. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  “Hello, dear. I’m Irene.” She held out her hand, and Hugh shook it. “It’s always a pleasure to meet a nice young man like you. Isn’t it, dear?”

  “Yes, Mum. Shall we bring Hugh through to the sitting room?”

  Irene fussed over him, settling him in to a comfortable chair while she took one end of the dark blue sofa. She stood up again almost immediately to check the radiator.

  “Would you like a newspaper?” Irene offered. “My father always enjoyed reading a newspaper before dinner, you know.”

  Hugh nodded. “I often do as well, but not tonight. Why don’t you sit down, Irene?”

  “Where shall I sit?” She looked around, bewildered.

  “Just there on the sofa.” Hugh pointed. “Then you can tell me about your daughter.”

  Irene’s face lit up. “Do you know my Anna?”

  “I do. We work at the same office.”

  “Are you an accountant, too?”

  “No.” He laughed. “I can barely add up straight.”

  Anna had taken the carrier bag of Chinese food through to the kitchen. She reappeared with a bottle of sherry and three glasses.

  “Mum? Hugh?”

  Irene took a small glass.

  Hugh raised a hopeful eyebrow, but Anna shook her head. Sherry or nothing, then. “A small one for me, too.”

  Anna handed him a glass and poured her own.

  “Cheers,” Hugh said, and he raised his glass to the others.

  Irene smiled. “Good health to you.”

  Anna merely raised her glass. “I’ve put the food in the oven,” she said. “I’ll bring it out when it’s heated through properly.”

  While Irene continued to chat away at Hugh, Anna laid the small dining table. When it was ready, she set out the takeaway on table mats. Irene insisted that Hugh should sit at the end of the table and help himself first. Anna spooned egg-fried rice and lemon chicken onto her mother’s plate and handed it to her before serving herself. Irene stared down at the food in distress.

  “It’s okay, Mum,” Anna soothed. “Here’s your fork, look.” She showed her how to pick up the food and bring it to her mouth. “That’s it.”

  “I forget, you see,” Irene told Hugh. “Silly, isn’t it?”

  Hugh glanced at Anna. She watched him fiercely, practically daring him to say the wrong thing. He cleared his throat. “We all forget silly things sometimes.”

  “Anna never forgets,” Irene said proudly.

  “Anna is a very remarkable person.”

  Irene smiled. “I know.”

  “Anna is right here,” Anna said through gritted teeth.

  “Well, of course you are, dear. Eat your dinner now, and talk to the nice young man.”

  “Hugh,” Anna reminded her.

  “Hugh,” Irene repeated. “Do I know him?”

  Anna shook her head. “He works in my office.”

  Irene’s eyes were the same deep brown as her daughter’s, and her fine hair would once have been the same rich chestnut. She turned Anna’s own smile on Hugh as she asked, “Are you an accountant, too?”

  She didn’t remember. Not ten minutes ago they’d had this same conversation, and Irene didn’t remember.

  Hugh summoned a smile. “No. I leave all the hard work like that to Anna.”

  Anna, who hadn’t told him she lived with her mother. A mother with dementia, who clearly needed constant supervision. Why hadn’t Anna told him? Why hadn’t she trusted him?

  “He’s a creative designer, Mum. He comes up with all the ideas.” Anna had barely touched her food. When she picked up her glass, her hand trembled.

  “My Anna is an accountant, you know.”

  Hugh nodded. “I know. She’s a very good accountant.”

  “She is,” agreed Irene.

  When they’d finished their meal, Anna stacked the empty plates and Hugh helped her carry the dishes through to the kitchen.

  “I’ll wash up,” he offered.

  “No, don’t worry. I’ll do it later.”

  “Anna.” He rested a hand on her waist. “I want to help.” And he needed a moment to himself.

  She shrugged. “In that case, go right ahead. Mum and I will be watching TV.”

  Left alone, Hugh leaned against the counter and took a deep breath. What the hell was he doing here?

  He set about cleaning up, but as he rinsed the plates and scraped the leftover food into the bin, his mind wouldn’t stop working. Why had Anna never said anything about her mother? Did she think he wouldn’t have understood? That he wouldn’t have cared? Did he mean so little to her?

  Had she pushed other people away, too? Perhaps she couldn’t see that she needed friends to support her. There was courageous independence, and then there was foolhardy stubbornness.

 
And it looked like Hugh would have to show her the difference.

  He took a tray of coffee through to the sitting room.

  “Not for Mum,” Anna said under her breath. “It keeps her awake all night.”

  Hugh pretended to watch the TV while he drank his coffee. As soon as he was finished, he stood up. “I’d better get going.”

  Anna shot him a look of gratitude. Irene sounded bewildered as she asked, “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going home, Irene. It was nice to meet you.”

  Anna followed Hugh out to the door and handed him his coat.

  He shrugged it on, then stepped closer. “I thought we were friends. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She pulled him outside, closing the door behind her. “I haven’t told anyone at work. I don’t need their pity.”

  “You thought I was offering you pity?”

  “What else?”

  “I don’t know. You never gave me the chance to find out.”

  “Anna!” Irene called from the sitting room.

  She opened the door and called back, “Coming, Mum.” With a harsh look for Hugh she added, “I have to go. You have to go.”

  He took a deep breath. He hadn’t intended to lose his temper. “I’ll ring you later,” he promised. “We have things to discuss.”

  “You don’t need to do that.”

  He cupped her face gently between his hands and looked down at her. So beautiful. He’d thought it before but never seen it the way he did now. So brave. How could he ever have called her a coward? She needed someone on her side, even if she didn’t realize it yet. He’d show her she could trust him.

  He brushed his lips against hers in a promise. “I want to.”

  Chapter Five

  Anna curled up in bed, staring at the phone handset on her bedside table.

  It was after eleven. Would he really call?

  She wouldn’t blame him if he’d had second thoughts. Why would anyone want to get involved with her? Hugh was the kind of man who could easily find another girlfriend. A woman who was free to spend her time with him. One who was able to put him first, instead of an increasingly needy mother.

  She would just tell him not to bother. Give him an easy way out. That was the best she could do.