Changing on the Fly Read online

  The thought of Sparrow pushing someone (him) up against the wall of a dirty club bathroom, their (his) legs around Sparrow’s narrow waist while Sparrow fucked (him)...

  An AT-AT blew up his Dish Turret, and his controller vibrated. Nick’s fingers tightened on the plastic, the buttons digging into skin. “Hey,” he mumbled to the controller.

  “Is the point of this game to blow things up?”

  Nick looked up, noticing Sparrow’s slouch and the fierce scowl between his brows. Sparrow’s car had been in the garage so he must have Ubered it home or taken a cab. Good. The Foxes had a reputation for having players who liked to party too much, and Sparrow...well, usually people who partied looked like they’d at least had fun. Angry partying never led to anything good. “Yeah.”

  “Can I try?”

  Nick almost handed over his controller, but instead he motioned to the drawer beneath the entertainment stand. “Other controller’s in there.” His thumb moved over the joystick, back-and-forth, as he tried and failed to watch Sparrow bend over and retrieve the controller. His ass looked amazing in those jeans.

  When Sparrow returned to the couch, Nick cued up the game again and selected two players. “You want to be on the same team?”

  “I thought we were,” said Sparrow, and there was something weird in his voice. “Whatever. It’s fine. Just tell me how the controls work.”

  Sparrow had clearly not played a video game since NHL ’94. Nick saved his ass about fifteen times, and if they’d been on different teams, it would have been a pretty quick game.

  “Dude, you’re awful at this,” Nick teased, at ease in the way that video games and competition allowed for. “I think you’ve blown yourself up more than you’ve made anyone else blow up.”

  “Yeah, well, that’s pretty much the theme of my evening.” Sparrow tossed the controller down and leaned his head back against the couch.

  God, Nick’s cock hardened so fast the lack of blood made him dizzy. “Getting blown?”

  “No, failing at it. Getting blown. Blowing someone else. Both of those.” He opened his eyes and looked over at Nick. “That’s what I meant when I said we were on the same team.”

  Wait. Was – oh. “You’re gay?”

  “Yeah.” Sparrow laughed, the sort of harsh sound you made when things weren’t really funny.

  Nick didn’t know what to say to that. He just sat there with the iconic Star Wars music playing in the background, gaping at his teammate and roommate and wondering if he could offer to improve Sparrow’s evening when it came to being blown. That was the wrong thing to do, and he knew it, but Nick was feeling reckless and horny and didn’t care.

  “What?”

  “I have never met another gay hockey player,” Nick blurted, like they were unicorns or some other mystical being found only in faraway lands.

  “Yes, you have.”

  “Besides you,” Nick clarified.

  Sparrow sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “Yes, you have,” he said, again. Clearly this time.

  Of course, Sparrow would know that. He’d been in the league a lot longer than Nick. “Oh.” They were still staring at each other. “But you seemed – when I told you.”

  “You’re missing a word there.” Sparrow was regarding him with a half-smile on his face that Nick couldn’t read.

  “Uncomfortable.”

  Sparrow nodded. “I was. But not for the reasons you think.”

  “Then why?” Nick asked, his voice two octaves lower and huskier than usual.

  “Because of this.” Sparrow leaned in and kissed him.

  Nick went still with shock as heat lit up his nerves and burned through his blood like fire. “Sparrow —”

  “Everett,” said Sparrow, and kissed him again. “My name’s Everett.”

  ***

  SPARROW: I’M KISSING Sparrow. I mean, Everett. I’m kissing Everett.

  Holy shit.

  Nick was pressed back into the couch cushions as Everett moved closer, crowding him and kissing him with increasing urgency.

  “Um.” Nick put his hands on Everett’s chest, intending to push him back. “Is this a bad idea?”

  “Yeah.” Everett tasted sweet, like maybe he’d been drinking something with cherries or flavored syrup. Nick would have thought he drank something rough and ultra-masculine like Scotch, but what did he know? Nick mostly drank beer and shots other people bought him that he didn’t know the name of. He didn’t drink that much, and he hated being drunk, hated the idea of losing control and what he might admit.

  “So should we stop?” Nick closed his eyes and did nothing to discourage Everett from mouthing at his neck.

  “Do you want to stop?” Everett murmured against his skin. His hand went between Nick’s legs, boldly cupping his erection. “Doesn’t feel like it.”

  Nick bit back a squeak and shook his head. “I don’t, but maybe – maybe we should.” What the hell was wrong with him? This was a fantasy come to life, even down to the Star Wars music still playing on the television.

  Everett lifted his head. His eyes were blurry with what Nick hoped was lust and yet feared was alcohol. He sighed and moved away. “Maybe we should. I don’t – I don’t want you to do something if you’re not sure about it.”

  Nick took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. It wasn’t working.

  Fuck it.

  He climbed over on top of Everett in one smooth move, straddling him and settling his weight so he could feel Everett’s cock against his. “I’m sure I don’t want to stop.” He wasn’t sure this was a good idea, but whatever. “But I don’t want you to pretend this didn’t happen tomorrow or be a dick or anything.” He paused. “About anything other than the garage.”

  “Okay,” said Everett agreeably, and reached a hand up behind his neck to tug him down for another kiss.

  It had been a long time since Nick last gave a blowjob, but he slid to his knees and kicked out at the coffee table to push it back and give himself some room. At some point, Everett must have grabbed the controller because the Star Wars music was replaced with the lilting, pleasantly generic PlayStation theme. Not exactly the stuff of his fantasies, but Nick got Everett’s pants open, and the cock that was waiting for him most certainly was. He took it eagerly in his mouth, hand working the hard flesh hard and fast.

  “Jesus, Nick, slow down,” Everett rasped, one hand in Nick’s hair.

  Nick flushed in momentary embarrassment. He was used to doing this quickly, with one objective in mind – well, two. Get off and don’t get caught. He eased his grip and pressed his face for a moment against Everett’s jean-clad thigh. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry; it just feels good, and I don’t want to come too fast.” Everett’s fingers were gentle in his hair. “Unless you get off on doing it like that.”

  He did, but not on purpose. Nick licked at Everett’s cock and tongued the head, sucking lightly as he settled in to enjoy himself. Going slow was a novelty, and he liked it, liked tasting Everett on his tongue and liked rubbing Everett’s balls with his fingers. Liked playing and listening to Everett’s breathing get all rough and fucked up as Nick sucked him.

  Everett was clearly trying not to fuck his throat, so Nick relaxed his jaw and took him deep and gave him a nod to show he could. Everett thrust a few times and moaned, his thighs trembling beneath Nick’s hands. “I’m going to come,” he warned, and Nick had to press a hand against himself and give his own cock a quick rub because Everett wasn’t the only one. Jesus, this was hot.

  He gave Everett one last, hard suck and pulled off, finishing him with his hand. He wouldn’t have minded swallowing, but he liked being able to watch Everett’s face as he went over the edge and came in Nick’s fist.

  While Everett caught his breath, Nick found the controller and put the PlayStation into Rest Mode.

  Everett, his eyes still closed, flashed a grin at him. “I’m gonna get a chubby every time I hear that music now.”

&
nbsp; Nick might never turn the damn thing off.

  “Come here,” Everett said, moving and tucking himself back into his pants.

  Nick knew, objectively, that he was going to get a blowjob – or a handjob, he didn’t care, either way it was going to be awesome – from Everett Sparrow, but it didn’t seem real until he was on the couch, legs spread, and Everett was kneeling in front of him.

  “This what you want?” Everett’s eyes were half-open, his face still flushed, and his mouth wet and parted.

  Fuck, yes, this was what Nick wanted. “Fuck, yes.”

  Everett pulled Nick’s running pants down and freed his cock, which was hard and already slick. “Let me hear you say it.”

  “Please,” Nick said, plaintively.

  Everett’s smile was wicked. He leaned down and tongued lightly at Nick’s cock. “Please, what, Nick?”

  He was going to come the second Everett put his mouth on his dick, and Nick just knew it. He took a shaking breath and tried again. “Please – fuck, please suck me, Everett. Please.”

  He didn’t come right away, but it didn’t take long. Everett clearly had more experience going slow than Nick, and he knew how to use it – he sucked at Nick’s cock, teased with his tongue, even played lightly with his teeth. He held a hand up to Nick and said, “lick,” and made Nick suck on his fingers and get them nice and wet before he wrapped his hand around Nick’s cock and started sucking his balls.

  “I – oh fuck, Everett – I’m –”

  No need to say it, Everett knew. He kept sucking on Nick’s balls while Nick shot all over his stomach and his shirt, making a mess. His toes curled and his heels pressed hard against the floor as he arched and shook his way through his orgasm.

  He was pleasantly tired and sated when he heard rustling and opened his eyes to see Everett rising to his feet. He reached out and ruffled Nick’s hair affectionately and with a happy smile. “Thanks,” he said. “I needed that. You have no idea.”

  Nick, still breathing hard and a mess, cock soft and pants still around his knees, stared at him. “I have some idea,” he said, and Everett laughed and held his hand out to help him up.

  Chapter Six

  HARRY HAD STARTED dating Melanie, one of the girls from the bar. “She’s hot, but she’s also like, super funny. And she likes my beard. You want to see her friend Jade again, Milesy? I know she liked you.”

  Nick shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. “Jade? She was cool.” He wondered if that was enough to earn him a pass from matchmaking. He had liked Jade, and he wouldn’t mind seeing her again. Just not for sex, or dating, or anything else that involved his dick or his emotions.

  “I get it,” Harry said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Too much pussy out there, eh?”

  “Dude,” Nick said, blushing despite himself. He’d never gotten into habit of talking about sex and women like some of the guys, either because he was gay or too shy. “I’m just trying to play hockey.”

  “Bro, we play for the worst team in the league, and we’re not going to the playoffs,” Harry reminded him. “So you should play for pussy because at least you can’t lose. Chicks love hockey players, man. Even ones who aren’t that great, like me.”

  Nick had to laugh. Across the locker room, he could feel Sparrow’s eyes on him. “I’ll keep that in mind, Harry.”

  “Just trying to mentor you, kiddo,” Harry said cheerfully, slinging an arm around Nick’s shoulders and rubbing his hair enthusiastically.

  Nick wondered if Harry would still do that shit, touch him casually and tease him, if he knew that Nick was gay. For a wild moment, he almost wanted to find out, say something like, how about I play for cock instead and see what happened. But he didn’t.

  They left the next day for an extended road trip, one that would include Winnipeg where Nick would see his family. It also included a game in Buffalo against the Knights, their first since the trade.

  Sparrow was quiet the day they left, hiding behind his sunglasses and playing on his phone during the entire trip. When they arrived at the hotel, Sparrow deposited his gear and his bag on his bed and said to Nick, “I’ve got to go out.”

  Nick watched him go, worried and unsure if he should say anything. They’d hooked up a few more times since that night on the couch, but more than that, they were becoming friends – friends who played video games, friends who made dinner, friends who still fought over the garage. Nick knew this was going to be tough for Everett, coming back to Buffalo. “Okay, man.”

  Everett stopped at the door, his hand on the knob. “Hey, Nick?” He didn’t turn around.

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks. I know I’m being…just, thanks. For understanding.”

  Nick nodded, though Everett couldn’t see him. “Yeah. Of course.”

  And with that, Everett left and pulled the door shut quietly behind him.

  In the morning, Nick woke up and looked over to see Everett’s stuff still on the bed that hadn’t been slept in.

  There was a text on his phone. Stayed at my old place last night. Sorry, man, just needed some time alone to get my head on straight before the game.

  And after that one, a text that read: Turns out alone time is kind of boring, and they disconnected my cable.

  Nick rubbed his thumb over the screen, smiling. He didn’t respond, but it wasn’t long before the door opened and Everett came in – looking a little scruffy but composed.

  “You cool?” Nick asked.

  “Yeah.” Everett walked over, leaned down, and kissed him. “I am.”

  ***

  THAT NIGHT, THE Knights made a nice announcement about Sparrow, and the crowd gave him a standing ovation.

  “Didn’t you play here, too?” Harry asked, nudging Nick while they tapped their sticks on the ice to acknowledge the crowd’s tribute to their teammate.

  “Nah, not really. Mostly for the Barons, the AHL team. I played a few games here and there, but not that many.”

  “Still, that sucks they didn’t mention you,” said Harry. “You want I should hit someone for you?”

  Nick just shook his head, declining his teammate’s pugilistic generosity. The last thing he wanted was some kind of tribute.

  The Knights were a playoff team, and it showed. They were fast, effective, communicated well on the ice, and played like a team who knew how to win. They outplayed the Foxes and won 6-2, which wasn’t the way anyone wanted that game to go down. No one wanted any game to go down like that.

  There were plenty of media in the locker room, mostly to talk to Everett about returning to Buffalo. It was a surreal moment – Nick in the background, watching while Everett addressed the reporters, saying all the right things just like last time…only this press-conference was in the visitor’s locker room. Yes, Everett said, he was humbled and pleased by the crowd’s tribute. He was looking forward to next season and taking the skills he’d learned with the Knights to the Foxes. It was always hard to come back to a team and play on the other side, but that was part of the game.

  When the press left, the team gathered their gear in silence and made their way to the bus that took them back to the hotel. Their plane left in the morning for Winnipeg. When they entered the room, Everett and Nick were both quiet as they decompressed from the loss. It was just another game, no matter where it was. But Everett looked…not forlorn or even angry, but pensive. Like last night, before he’d left the hotel. Nick wanted to cheer him up because lately he’d gotten used to Everett smiling a lot more than scowling.

  “That game sucked, eh?” Nick wasn’t usually one to break the ice, but Everett looked a little lost and lonely, and that got to Nick for reasons he wasn’t sure he wanted to think about just now.

  “Yeah.” Everett was sitting half-dressed on the edge of the bed. He leaned his elbows on his knees and faced Nick. “The guy I was seeing, Aric? He wanted me to come out. I kept telling him that I couldn’t because of the playoffs. I said that we couldn’t afford the media distraction, that kind of thi
ng. Then I get traded to a team where there’s no fucking chance of making the playoffs, and there we go. Aric thought it was the perfect time, and I said it was too hard to do with a new team, in a new city. I always had an excuse, so he ended it before I left Buffalo. He knew I was never going to do it.”

  “I think it’d be hard to come out,” Nick said, flushing a little at his word choice. He’d never talked about this with anyone else before. “The media, I mean. I don’t really know what I think might happen. I just know it would probably be a lot of attention I don’t want.”

  “Yeah, I get that. And I know someone needs to do it.” Everett leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “I kept thinking, during the game. What if I’d done it? Would they have traded me? Would I even want to have stayed somewhere that only kept me on the roster because they were afraid of the backlash for trading a player who’d just come out?” He made a face. “Aric and I weren’t…it wasn’t that serious, so I mean, it wasn’t like my heart was broken. I just hated the uncertainty and the pressure.” He gave a humorless laugh. “Which is a stupid thing to say when you play sports for a living. Uncertainty and pressure are basically all it is.”

  Nick thought about that. “Right, so why would you want to add more?”

  Everett snorted. “Yeah, there’s that. It was hard to explain all this to Aric. He is a lawyer, and the only sport he likes is lacrosse, but that’s because he dated a lacrosse player in high school.”

  Nick couldn’t imagine ending up with someone who didn’t love hockey as much as he did. What would they talk about? When they weren’t having hot, sweaty sex that was. “The Knights might lose in the playoffs. Especially if they play the Battalion in the first round.”

  Everett gave an honest-to-god smile. “Yeah. Look, Nick, I’m sorry I vanished last night. I thought I wanted to be alone, but it turns out it didn’t really help.”

  “Because of the cable?”

  “Ha, ha. I just…I like you. And you get it, you know? You get hockey, you get being gay, you get why it’s not so easy to come out even if I wanted to. And I don’t want you to think you’re a rebound thing, because you’re not. You’re really not.”