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Wanted--Texas Daddy Page 17
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Technically, yes. But that didn’t mean Sage wanted to trot her newborn son out like a pony on parade in front of a bunch of strangers. For mercenary reasons, no less!
But knowing MR would not understand that, she simply said, “I’m exhausted, too.”
MR went over and shut the door to the hall. Their privacy ensured, she strode back to the foot of Sage’s hospital bed. “I don’t think you understand what an incredible opportunity this is to promote not just the opening of the first Upscale Outfitters store, but Nick as modern-day Western hero and all-around Renaissance man. Ruggedly handsome, sexy. Rancher-businessman. Loving husband and protective dad, who also turned out to be very good in a medical emergency.”
That he had been, Sage thought proudly.
In fact he was so good, she was beginning to think she just might have finally disregarded all her heartfelt internal warnings and fallen head over heels in love with him, anyway.
Meanwhile, MR waxed on enthusiastically, “I mean, there he was, catching his son in his bare hands—on Father’s Day weekend, no less!—and then wrapping him in one of our shirts, which, by the way, we have already sold out of. The partners will be very upset if Nick does not take advantage of this phenomenal stroke of good luck and publicize the heck out of what happened this morning.”
Sage imagined that was the case. Her father had felt the same way about making money. Only to figure out in the end that in doing so he’d missed out on an awful lot along the way, particularly with his family.
“The news stations are promising to run Nick’s interview and story all day tomorrow, in honor of the holiday.” MR rubbed her hands. “All we have to do is get Nick to cooperate, pronto.” She leveled a hard, expectant look at Sage.
She thought about the way MR had treated Nick the last few months, with her endless demands and constantly disregarding his decisions. Sage decided that deal or no, she did not owe MR anything. At least not of this import.
“I’m sorry, MR, but if Nick has already said no...”
MR’s expression turned unpleasant. “Then overrule him! As his ‘wife’ you certainly have that prerogative. There are two breaking news crews downstairs, waiting for my call. I can have them up here in five minutes to do a quick story with you and the baby, and then we can add Nick in, when he gets here. By then, it will be a done deal, so there will be no reason for him not to cooperate.”
Sage had dealt with reporters during her family’s scandal the previous summer. It was never that short, or easy, or uncomplicated. “I can’t and won’t override Nick on this,” she reiterated firmly.
MR looked furious. “You understand this will be a deal breaker for the partners.”
Sage doubted that.
If there was big money at stake, and if Nick was essential to make that cash, the partners would remain all-in.
Able to bluff as well as MR, she shrugged. “I can’t help the way you and your partners feel.”
MR tapped her foot impatiently. “No, but you can keep Nick from making a rash decision that will ruin his life.”
Tired of the veiled and not-so-veiled threats, Sage looked the venture capitalist in the eye. “What are you trying to say?”
“If Nick wants his business dreams to come true, he’s going to have to live up to his end of the deal he made. And be the face and driving force behind Upscale Outfitters.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Oh, but I am.” MR went on, sweet as pie, “Because I’ll tell you right now, the partners will either pull the funds on the rest of the projected stores, or force him to resign and give up his interest in the company. And that’s if they don’t sue him for breach of contract. And while Nick might think doing this his way, in his own time, is what he really wants right now, eventually he will realize what he gave up, Sage. He’ll recognize that this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And he blew it out of some misguided notion of being there for you and your son.
“And when that happens,” MR continued vindictively, “he’ll go back to feeling as trapped as he was the day I met him. And it won’t be me he resents, Sage. It’ll be you and your son.”
Sage stared at the executive. Wishing she could refute everything MR was saying, yet knowing in her heart it was true. Nick was just like her late father. Made for bigger things. No matter how much he loved his family and wanted to be with them, he would never be happy running one small store, in a small town. No matter what he said now.
And a Nick who was miserable would not be a good father, good friend or lover. Never mind husband...even if in name only.
Sage sighed in defeat. “What do you want me to do?”
“Make him do what he has to do. For all your sakes.” MR paused. Looked down at Shane, then back at Sage. “You owe Nick this.”
Much as Sage wanted to disagree, she could not.
* * *
SAGE’S HOSPITAL BAG in one hand, a bouquet of flowers and a teddy bear in his other, Nick burst out of the hospital elevator. Frowning, he stopped at what he saw. One camera crew going into the hospital room where Sage and Shane were supposed to be resting, another coming out.
MR walked out, and waved him toward them. “Here comes our hero now!” she gushed.
Nick strode forward, the fury and resentment inside him building. The knowledge he’d made a mistake, ever getting involved with MR and Metro Equity Partners, was stronger than ever.
A microphone was pushed into his face. “Nick! How does it feel to have delivered your own son on such an exciting day, no less!”
He might not want to be doing this. On the other hand, if he snarled, that would make headline news, too. He did not want that to be the lasting legacy of this amazing moment in his life.
Nick summoned the feeling of catching his son in his hands. Seeing little Shane take his first breath, and let out that strong, indignant cry. “It felt great!” Nick smiled, pushing on into the room.
Sage was propped up in her hospital bed, their infant son cradled lovingly in her arms. He wasn’t sure which one looked more sweet and vulnerable, he just knew they were the center of everything good and solid and wonderful in his life.
He crossed to her bed, bent down and kissed her temple. Not for the cameras, but because he sensed she needed his support right now more than ever.
For a second, she relaxed into his touch. Her yearning to be alone, just the three of them, seeming as strong as his.
As he drew back, he saw her lower lip quiver.
“I think Little One is starting to get hungry again,” she warned.
Which probably meant, Nick thought, there’d probably be a little crying again, and a huge need for privacy.
The news reporter motioned her camera crew closer. “Then we’ll make it quick,” she promised with a smile.
With MR looking on triumphantly, they went over the events of the morning. “And your baby’s name is...?”
“Shane Lockhart Monroe,” Sage and Nick said proudly together.
“Lovely! That’s a wrap. Thanks so much, guys.”
The crew exited. The other TV crew came back in briefly, asked a couple of questions specifically of Nick, got a thirty second film clip of the new family, and then departed.
No sooner had they cleared the portal than MR pulled out her smartphone. “Nick, we need to go over the calendar of events in Denver later this week.”
Nick saw his wife deflate. “Not now,” he said, as his son wrinkled his nose and began to shift and fuss.
MR stepped closer and folded her arms pertly in front of her. “I understand you’ll have to take the baby back to Laramie when he’s released tomorrow or the following day,” she said kindly, “but after that, we’re still going to need you in Colorado.”
MR was right. They did have a lot to talk about. But he needed to speak to Sa
ge first.
“I’ll call you as soon as I can,” he told the venture capitalist.
“Tonight?” MR pressed.
Nick wanted this done, too.
More than he ever could have imagined.
“I’ll let you know where and when,” he said.
* * *
HER EMOTIONS IN TURMOIL, Sage waited until Nick had closed the door, then draped a blanket over her shoulder and eased the gown down to expose one breast.
She cupped Shane’s downy-soft head in her palm, and teased his lips with her nipple, until he latched on. Seemingly as adept at everything he tried as his father, he fed like a champ.
“You don’t have to stay, you know,” she said.
Especially when you’re looking at me—and Shane—like that. As if we’re everything you ever wanted or dreamed of having. Because it’s moments like these, when I’m tempted to believe that the baby and I could be enough to make you completely happy, that also make me want to go off the rails and tell you how much I feel. In my heart and soul. And how much more I want in this life we’re building together.
But she couldn’t do that, Sage reminded herself sternly. Not without breaking the promises they had made to each other at the outset.
She knew Nick deserved better than that.
He flashed her a sexy, sidelong grin. “If you’re shy, I don’t have to watch,” he volunteered kindly, moving a slight distance away. “I can sit over here. Or even head out to get you a decaf chai iced tea, if you like.”
Sage blushed and shook her head as the unprecedented awkwardness between them increased. “It’s not that.” He was as familiar with her body as she was with his.
He turned to squint at her expectantly. “Then...?”
Ignoring the ache in her heart, Sage forced herself to do the right thing. With effort, she met and held his gaze. Reminding herself they were on the brink of having something truly wonderful, but only if they didn’t get in the way of each other’s dreams.
She swallowed, reining in the tremor in her voice, and looked him right in the eye. “You have business. This is still opening weekend and the new store will be open for several more hours.” He had been slated to be there all day, as well as from 1:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. on Father’s Day.
Nick pulled up a visitor chair, turned it around backward and sat down, legs straddling the seat, arms folded along the top. She noted he had put on the usual American-made shirt and jeans, instead of the Italian-made brand he’d been wearing for the grand opening.
He smiled tenderly, watching as she moved Shane to her other breast.
“That’s what I want to talk to you about,” he said quietly, as she began to nurse their son again. His expression sober, he continued, “I’ve been mulling my options for a while now, but when you went into labor this morning, and I realized that the only reason you weren’t at the hospital in Laramie, where you should and would have been, was all my doing, I also realized a lot had to change.” He paused and compressed his lips together tightly. “I can’t put family second, Sage. Not anymore.”
* * *
NICK HAD EXPECTED his decision to be met with great joy. Instead, Sage looked like he had delivered the worst news possible.
Her soft lips took on the stubborn pout he knew so well.
“Except we’re not a traditional family, any more than we’re a traditional married couple.”
Feeling as if his life was about to be blown to smithereens, he forced her to spell it out. “You don’t want more?”
She paused, all cool elegance once again. “Of course I do.”
Was this about the difference in the way they’d grown up? The fact that he’d never known the kind of luxury she had enjoyed before moving to Laramie, and might possibly want to savor again. Now that they had a baby to care for.
Sage inhaled sharply, abruptly looking as miserable deep down as he felt. “But...” She kept her eyes locked on his with effort. “We had a deal. Friends first. Lovers second. Co-parents third.”
He remembered, and he regretted conceding what he had really wanted, in favor of expediency, and an alternate route to happiness.
“And then we became husband and wife,” he reminded her.
She tensed, all the color leaving her face, then returning in a riotous bloom of color.
He didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to see she was about to push him away again. “As was going to be required by your new business partners,” she reminded him matter-of-factly.
Noting that Shane had fallen asleep again, she lifted him onto her shoulder and covered her breast with the edge of her hospital gown. “But we also agreed that wouldn’t change anything between us. You would still have your goals and ambitions and I would have mine. We’d go our own ways and come together when we could.”
Shane slept on.
Reining in the pain and disappointment he felt, Nick asked, “What are you trying to say?”
“That the mistake this morning was not yours, it was mine. I shouldn’t have come on this trip with you at all. Not this close to my due date. Even if my OB gave me the go-ahead, with plenty of conditions, I should have realized the potential dangers and been a lot more cautious.”
So this was it? She blamed herself for the chaos surrounding the medical emergency? “Come on, Sage. There was no way you could have known this would happen. You were a little over two weeks from your due date, and you weren’t the least bit dilated when you saw the doctor yesterday.”
“Actually,” she admitted ruefully, “I think there might have been a sign or two.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You told me that since the Braxton Hicks catastrophe you’d hardly felt even the slightest warm-up contraction.”
“That’s true. It was the lower back discomfort that kept getting to me, and last night, into this morning, it was pretty awful.”
“Is that why you were so weepy and out of sorts when we were getting ready to go this morning?”
“In retrospect, I can see I was probably in labor all night. I just didn’t think my inability to get comfortable was all that different from the usual, because as you well know, my back has bothered me the entire pregnancy.”
He took a moment to reflect on that. “Well, I’m glad you went with me today. Because if you hadn’t,” he continued gruffly, “I might not have been there when you did give birth.”
“So it all worked out. I got to be there to support you this morning, and witness the excitement of the grand opening of your new business venture. And you got to personally be the first to welcome little Shane into the world.”
“But...?” he prodded, sensing there was more.
Sage sobered. “I still should have known better. And next time...if there is a next time...” Blushing, she stumbled over her words uncertainly, and for a moment, had to look away from him entirely.
She squared her slender shoulders determinedly. “And I don’t mean having another child necessarily...but just the next time a choice like this has to be made.” Once again, she met his gaze. “I’ll make sure I do what’s right for Shane first, and me second. And I’ll step back and let you worry about you.”
Her vow encompassed everything they had originally promised each other. Yet it hit him like a sucker punch to the gut.
He took her free hand in his. “And that’s good enough for you?” he asked, savoring the soft and silky warmth of her skin, the sweet womanly scent of her.
He moved onto the hospital bed so he could sit beside her. “You don’t want more?” he asked quietly, as her thigh pressed intimately against his. “A traditional marriage and family? Or true, abiding love?” The kind I could give you, if you’d only open up your heart and soul to the possibility?
She stared down at their entwined fingers, thinking, deliberating. “Of course I do, th
eoretically,” she responded in a low voice edged with resentment. “But realistically, Nick? I don’t want you giving up anything for us that you’re going to regret later, out of some misguided momentary notion of romantic love,” she confided, her lower lip quavering.
Seeming on the verge of tears, she withdrew her hand from his and said, “I don’t want you and me to make the same mistake that Terrence and I did, thinking we could rewrite the foundation of our relationship just through strength of will or because we thought that was what was expected of us. I don’t want to risk everything we’ve had for something that might not pan out, that could ruin everything. For you, for me, for Shane. Especially now—” she inhaled a deep, shaky breath, looking protectively down at the baby cuddled against her “—when we’re still caught up in the miracle of giving birth.”
They were still in a daze over that, Nick thought, albeit—at least for him—a truly happy one.
Sage, on the other hand, seemed a lot more conflicted. Still, she had been through a lot in the last twenty-four hours, so he tried to rein in his hurt feelings and be patient.
Oblivious to his mounting frustration and dismay, she continued, “It’s not surprising you’d want to give our son everything. Because I do, too. But we have to be levelheaded and think about how this all began.”
“Casually,” he recollected, wishing like hell he’d told her the truth about his feelings in the beginning.
She nodded, accepting that. “With distinct, well-outlined limits.”
Silence fell.
Nick thought about how much he had always hated being constrained—by anything. Especially rudimentary rules made long ago that had no bearing on what they were currently experiencing.
Treading carefully—he was dealing with a wife who had just given birth after all, a wife who might be experiencing a storm of mood-shifting hormones—he stifled his own soul-deep disappointment long enough to ask, very quietly, “What if that’s not enough for me?”
For a moment, a defeat similar to what he felt flickered on her face. Then the fiercely independent Sage he’d first met returned. Her heart as guarded as ever. “If we want to make this all work long-term, if we want all our dreams to come true, it’s going to have to be enough, Nick,” she told him resolutely. “For both of us.”