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  The showing that Austen and Sam had decided on was at 7:30 P.M. and it was currently 6:45 P.M. Austen had just finished eating dinner, having ramen for yet another night in a row, and figured he would leave his dorm at 7:00 P.M. to meet Sam, where they would walk to the movie theatre together.

  Austen looked at himself in the mirror once more. Does my hair look okay? Is it blue enough? he thought.

  "Shit," he muttered to himself, realizing that it was nearing 7:00 P.M. and his hair wasn't as blue as he had hoped it would be. He had bleached and toned his hair yesterday and dyed it today, but he had mistakenly added too much conditioner to the dye, causing his hair to become a blue that was more pastel than planned. He didn't have time to redye it. He would have to deal with it.

  Austen grabbed his phone off of his bed and shoved it in his front pocket; he grabbed his keys from the desk and hooked them onto his belt loop and he left his room once he said goodbye to Elias, who wished him luck on his "hang-out." Austen was glad that his roommate was Elias and not someone who he didn't know.

  Austen hurried across the hall and down the stairs, as Sam had told him to meet him in front of his dorm building. Austen sometimes felt envious that Sam lived close enough to the campus that he didn't have to live in the dorms but at the same time he was happy that Sam didn't have to deal with the annoyance and slight inconvenience of it. He shook off the thought, deciding that right now wasn't the time for conflicting thoughts. Right now, was the time to enjoy time with Sam, he told himself. Treat it like you and Sam are the only people in the world.

  "Hey, Aus!" Sam said happily, waving as Austen approached him. He smiled widely at the natural blue and held his arms out and pulled him into an embrace.

  "Hey, Sam," Austen said and smiled as well. They pulled apart and Sam grabbed Austen's hand, lacing his fingers with his own. They began their walk down to the movie theatre that was across the street.

  They walked in a comfortable silence. Austen was enjoying the subtle breeze and the way that his hands fit perfectly with Sam's. He looked over at the brunette and basked in his appearance. He was happy to be here and he was happy that Sam was with him. For once, he felt invincible, and he assumed it wasn't just another manic episode coming on. He felt happy and felt like he was on top of the world. He was at peace and he was happy and that's all that mattered to him. Sam looked over at Austen and smiled, seeing the genuine smile on the natural blue's face.

  "I'm glad you came," Sam said.

  "Of course," Austen answered. "I'd never dream of skipping out on the opportunity to spend time with you."

  "Neither would I," Sam replied. They continued their trek into the movie theatre, greeting Steve, who was manning the ticket booth for the night.

  "Hey, guys!" Steve said. "Two tickets for Doctor Strange, right?"

  "Yep," Austen nodded. "The 7:00 P.M. showing."

  "Here you go," Steve said. Austen traded the money for the tickets. "Have fun, the theatre's mostly empty. But not too much fun!"

  "Gross, Steve," Sam laughed. Austen cringed at the thought. After what had happened with Zack, he wasn't sure he'd ever feel comfortable with letting people touch him ever again. Especially in such intimate ways, he didn't want anybody to see him. He didn't want to get close to anybody; he hated himself for letting himself get so attached to Sam, but he kept telling himself that it was okay. Sam wouldn't hurt him. Sam wouldn't do anything that Zack did; Sam wasn't Zack.

  Austen pushed away the thoughts of Zack, not wanting to remember anything more about the tragic event. Today was going to be a good day, damn it, and so far, it had. Austen wasn't about to let something that happened five years ago take over and destroy him again. He wouldn't let it wreck him, especially not today. Not right now. Right now, it was time to focus on Sam. And that's what Austen did.

  "Want to go sit there? In the middle of Row F?" Austen asked. Sam nodded.

  "That looks like a good spot," Sam said in agreement. Austen smiled softly as they quickly hopped up the steps and sat down in the seats they came to a silent consensus on. The previews were playing, as it was only around 7:20 P.M. Austen looked over at Sam, seeing a big genuine smile. He was happy that Sam was happy.

  Sam looked over at Austen and smiled wider at the natural blue. He was swooning over him. He wasn't sure how he was so lucky, to have him be his. They looked at each other in awe before turning to face the screen as Doctor Strange began.

  ✽✽✽

  The two boys sat in their seats, watching as the credits rolled. They were waiting to see if there was an end-scene. Sam looked over at Austen and smiled.

  "Hey, you hungry?" Sam asked him. Austen nodded immediately, his stomaching growling as if it were on cue.

  "Hell yeah," Austen said. "I feel like I could eat a whole cow."

  "I don't think there are any places nearby that have that on the menu," Sam laughed. Austen rolled his eyes but cracked a smile nonetheless. They both turned their attention back to the screen, watching the short end-scene play. They got up once it was over and left the theatre, saying goodbye to Steve on their way out.

  Austen shrugged away the bad thoughts that kept trying to make their way into his mind, telling himself that tonight wasn't the night to get into a depressive episode. It wasn't the night to be sad. He was happy, he was so damn elated, especially since he was with Sam. He liked being here with Sam and he was content. He told himself he wouldn't let Zack ruin that. Not today.

  "Sam!! Ice cream!" Austen shrieked happily, pointing over towards the small shop.

  "It looks like it's closing," Sam said.

  "Well, let's go check," Austen said, grabbing Sam's hand and dragging him to the small building. The door was locked, but a man inside came over and opened the door for them.

  "I'm sorry about him," Sam said, sending a playful glare to the natural blue. "Are you guys closed?"

  "It's fine, no worries!" the man laughed, gesturing for them to come inside. "It's near closing time, but please, please, come in!"

  "Are you sure? We can go somewhere else," Sam said. The man shook his head and laughed again.

  "It's really no problem," he said. "Pick whatever flavor you like; my daughter will scoop it for you."

  The two boys walked around the store, looking at the multitude of flavors, toppings and cones to choose from.

  "I'll take a superman on a waffle cone," Sam told the girl, who smiled at him and began scooping the ice cream. Austen still hadn't decided on a flavor and Sam kept pestering to choose one so the man could close up shop. It was already five past ten o'clock.

  "I'll, uh," Austen stammered, trying to decide between two flavors. Sam placed his hand softly on his shoulder, waiting for him to finally pick something. "I'll have cookies and cream on a waffle cone."

  "Coming right up," the girl said. Sam already had his ice cream and was ignoring it, aside from licking it where it was melting.

  The girl handed Austen a large cone with ice cream piled high on top of it. Austen knew he wouldn't be able to finish it.

  Sam had paid, to Austen's dismay, and they sat on a bench that had a nice view of the street. They sat in a comfortable silence, eating the ice cream. Or, well, Sam was eating the ice cream. Austen hadn't done much aside from lick his every couple of moments. Sam's was nearly gone by the time they had both decided to stand up and start walking home. Sam had decided he would walk Austen back the dorms before going home, even though Austen urged him to go home.

  "It's cold out and I want you to get home safe," Austen said to Sam, who rolled his eyes and continued to walk with him.

  "You're the one I'm worried about, Aus," Sam said. "Elias told me earlier that he asked you if you've been taking your pills."

  "Oh, yeah, I have," Austen mumbled, licking more of his ice cream. He had finally hit the cone, though Sam's was long gone. "Don’t worry 'bout it."

  "Are you sure?" Sam asked worryingly. Austen nodded and took a bite of the cone as an excuse not to talk. "I'm just worried about you, yo
u know. You've been acting a little off lately and it's worrying me, especially since we just passed the anniversary with Zack-"

  "I'm fine!" Austen burst out angrily. Sam was startled and looked upset. Austen's face dropped immediately, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell, I just... I don't like to talk about Zack."

  "I know, I know, I'm sorry," Sam apologized. "I shouldn't have brought him up. We were having a good time and I kind of just ruined it now."

  "No, no!" Austen said, shaking his head. "No, Sam, I'm still having a good time."

  "Still, I'm sorry for bringing him up," Sam said sadly.

  "Just walk me home, idiot," Austen laughed, finishing his ice cream cone. Sam rolled his eyes and joined in on the laughter, grabbing Austen's hand and lacing his fingers with the natural blue's.

  "Of course," Sam smiled.

  YOU RIP ME TO SHREDS, SO TEAR INTO ME

  MAY 23RD

  It had now been a few weeks after Austen and Sam's movie hang-out. They had not hung out since and Sam had declined Austen's offer to see another movie the following Saturday, May 13th. Elias had told Austen that Sam likely had something else going on that day and that it wasn't that he didn't want to hang out with Sam, he just couldn't. Austen didn't believe Elias, even though he knew it was a rational reason.

  Austen was currently asleep, as he had no morning classes that day, though his snoring and occasional sleep talking (which mainly consisted of "orange juice," "Sam," and "take me to Whole Foods,") was beginning to get on Elias's nerves. Although Elias didn't have any morning classes (or any classes at all) that day either, he was awake and out of bed by eight o'clock. He had even taken his time going to the dorm's common room to buy a few chocolate bars for breakfast, but by the time he got back Austen was still sound asleep. He wondered what time the natural blue went to bed, especially since Austen didn’t get a good night’s sleep often. Elias knew he shouldn't wake him up; he wouldn't wake him up. He needed the sleep, even if he was a noisy and annoying.

  "Sam!" Austen shouted in his sleep. "Orange..."

  Elias snickered, assuming that Austen was having a dream about Sam buying him Whole Food's orange juice. If Austen was so angry in his dream, Sam must've bought him the wrong orange juice. That would explain why Austen had said "battery acid shit" a few hours prior.

  Elias heard a knock on the door and he wondered who would be visiting their dorm. Neither he nor Austen had made many friends that lived on campus or at least ones that would be awake before noon if they didn't have to. He opened up the door, seeing Sam.

  "Hey, Sam," Elias greeted quietly. "Austen's still asleep, but you can come in if you want."

  "He is?" Sam asked, walking in as Elias moved away and gestured him to enter. Elias closed the door and sat down on his bed, looking over at Austen, who was currently laying on his stomach with the side of his face buried in the pillow. He was drooling.

  "Yeah," Elias said, chuckling. "He's been sleep talking about you and H.E.B. orange juice the past two hours."

  "That's cute," Sam smiled, walking closer to Austen. He sat down gently on the end of Austen's bed and looked at him lovingly. "He's so pure."

  "Pure?" Elias gawked. "Have you not met him? He's anything but pure. I mean, have you not heard what comes out of that boy's mouth?"

  "Whatever," Sam laughed. "He's being pure right now so leave him alone."

  "Whatever helps you sleep at night," Elias said, putting his hands up in surrender. "I'm gonna go buy some more chocolate. You want anything?"

  "No, I'm good," Sam answered, looking at Austen once more. "Thank you, though."

  "A'ight," Elias said, grabbing his keys and opening the door. "I'll be back in a few. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

  "Damn, I really wanted to sing Wonderwall in Portland today," Sam said sarcastically. Elias rolled his eyes and left the room, closing the door quietly.

  "Sam..." Austen mumbled in his sleep. The side of the pillow was drenched in drool at this point and Sam thought it was the cutest thing ever. He stood up from Austen's bed, not wanting to disturb him, and sat back down on the desk chair.

  Sam had originally planned to ask Austen if he wanted to go get breakfast with him, but he'd much rather Austen get some sleep. There'd be times where Austen would go weeks and weeks with little to no sleep each night; it worried Sam and Elias beyond belief, leaving the two to be overly stressed while Austen continued to insist that it wasn't an issue and that it was normal and he'd live. Sam and Elias wanted to argue with Austen's stance on the issue, but they knew it was no use, especially since Austen would argue his point until he was blue in the face.

  Sam's phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, looking at the notification. He figured that it wouldn't be rude to look at it since Austen was still soundly asleep. It was a text from Chloe.

  chloebear: hey buttnard, have you seen the big bang theory yet?

  Samyboi: nope

  chloebear: uhm whattya meANN by that???

  Samyboi: do you really think i have time for that

  chloebear: make time for it

  Samyboi: the big bang theory is not that important

  chloebear: wHO ARE YOU

  Samyboi: Sam

  chloebear: stfu thats not what i mean numbnuts

  Samyboi: you asked

  Samyboi: besides i have more important stuff in my life to make time for

  chloebear: like me?

  Samyboi: and Austen

  Samyboi: and my friends

  chloebear: yeah but,,, you like me more than them don't you?

  Samyboi: i dont like to pick favorites

  chloebear: so you have a favorite

  Samyboi: no

  chloebear: is it me

  Samyboi: i dont have favorites

  chloebear: so,,,, u dont even kno if u like ausieboi?

  Samyboi: don't call him that

  Samyboi: only i can call him cute nicknames

  chloebear: but u call me cute nicknames too

  Samyboi: i call all my friends cute nicknames

  Samyboi: sometimes

  chloebear: ur name for me in ur phone is literally chloebear, samyboi

  Samyboi: so???? Austen's is "blueberry"!

  chloebear: thats not even cute lmao

  Samyboi: shut up yes it is

  Samyboi: i gotta go now, Austen's stirring in his sleep and he's so cute

  chloebear: whatever **loverboi** lol just remember the rest of us when he breaks your heart

  Samyboi: funny.

  read: 11:27 a.m.

  Sam shoved the phone back into his pocket, annoyed with Chloe. She'd never been so jealous before and he was confused why. They were just friends, and that's all they'd ever be. Sam kind of liked her, sure, but he didn't want to date her. He liked Austen and not her. She’d have to deal with that.

  Elias opened the door to the dorm and closed it behind him, holding four Hersey's chocolate bars in his hand. He had a fifth one held by the wrapper in-between his teeth.

  "You're gonna share, right?" Sam chuckled quietly as Elias sat down on his bed across from Sam. Elias rolled his eyes and handed one of the king-size bars to the brunette, who grinned happily.

  "Thought you said you didn’t want anything," Elias muttered before unwrapping one of the bars and taking a big bite out of it. "You’re just lucky you’re my friend."

  "Battery acid shit," Austen mumbled, stirring around in his sleep. Sam and Elias turned to look at the blue-haired boy. He had a look of discomfort on his face and he was continually tossing and turning. Elias had figured Austen was going to wake up any moment now, though Sam was concerned. He knew it must've just been a dream about orange juice, but if Austen was spurring out words about battery acid, it could've been a nightmare. Any orange juice that wasn't from H.E.B. or Whole Foods was a nightmare to Austen.

  "He'll be fine, Sam," Elias said calmly, noticing the worry lacing Sam's features. Sam nodded slowly, taking another small bite of the chocolate bar.


  "Sam!" Austen called out, sitting up quickly on the bed, fully awake. He was startled and slightly sweaty and Sam looked at him in complete fear and worry. The brunette moved quickly off the desk chair and went to the natural blue, wrapping his arms around him in a comforting embrace. Austen was confused but noticed it was Sam quickly and hugged him back.

  "Deep breath in, deep breath out," Sam whispered to Austen, who was struggling to catch his breath from the startling wakeup.

  "S-Sorry," Austen breathed, finally catching his breath and beginning to calm down.

  "It's okay," Sam said quietly, rubbing his back comfortingly.

  "W-Wait, Sam? What're you doing here?" Austen asked timidly, stumbling over his words. The natural blue looked over at him in confusion, wondering why he had come to his dorm room and why he was eating one of Elias's chocolate bars (which were all gone by this point, aside from the wrapper's and Sam's half-eaten Hersey).

  "I came to ask you to breakfast but you were sleeping," Sam answered, smiling softly. "And I know you needed it so I didn't wake you."

  "Sam, you should've woken me up," Austen signed, feeling bad for making the brunette wait. "It would've been fine."

  "You needed the sleep, Aus," Sam cooed, letting Austen rest his head in the crook of his neck. Sam kissed the natural blue's head softly. "Don't worry about it, okay?"

  "I will worry about it," Austen said, pulling away from Sam.

  "Austen, let it go," Elias said, grabbing his attention. Austen hadn't realized that Elias was in the room until then, though he tells himself he should've known considering Elias lived here too.