Flawed Perfection Read online

  Flawed Perfection

  Book One Beautifully Flawed

  Cassandra Giovanni

  Copyright © Cassandra Giovanni, 2014

  All Rights Reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be produced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  Show n’ot Tell Publishing

  Connecticut, USA

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or deceased, events or locations are wholly coincidental.

  PUBLISHER’S CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA:

  Giovanni, Cassandra

  Flawed Perfection

  ISBN: 978-1494263959

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2013921763

  1. Romance—Fiction. 2. Friendship—Fiction. 3. Grieving—Fiction. 4. Love—Fiction. 5. Death—Fiction. 6. Massachusetts—Fiction. I. Title

  Cover Art: Gio Design Studios © 2014

  For the musician who stole my heart

  & healed my soul

  Take me to the River

  The River where I’ll find my heart and soul

  Take me to the River

  And I’ll finally be whole

  ~Fade Burn

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Pieces of Perfection (Beautifully Flawed, #2)

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Other Novels by the Author

  Chapter 1

  I yawned as I closed the laptop and blinked at the television clock - 10:00 PM - I hadn’t even eaten yet. I began to stand, but dropped back down on the couch when I heard the giggle from across the hall; it was accompanied by a laugh I knew all too well, and the slam of the door. I sank deeper into the cushions as my mind drifted back to another night filled with his laughter…

  My eyes had opened at the sound. Someone had thrown a rock against my bedroom window. I had shot up in bed and looked around the pitch black room lit only by the hot pink comforter as the sound hit again. Mom had to take my night light today of all days when there wasn’t even a moon outside.

  There it was again, and it was definitely a rock. I slipped out of bed and went to the window.

  There hanging in the tree next to my window was Adam, and in his hand was a glowing jar.

  I slowly lifted the window so it wouldn’t squeak. “What the hell are you doing?”

  “I heard your mom made you get rid of the night light,” Adam replied, shoving the jar into my hands.

  I took it and narrowed my eyes at him as he swung in the window.

  “Who told you that?” I asked. I was glad the room was now only dimly lit by the glowing jar, so he couldn’t see my pink cheeks.

  “Bobby! Who else?”

  “What a jerk!” I huffed.

  Adam shrugged as he pulled two more jars from his backpack. “I couldn’t fit them all in. I didn’t realize how hard it was to climb a tree with one arm!”

  “What’s in these?” I asked as Adam set them on the ground, and the room began to dance with the light.

  “Fireflies,” he replied, and his thin lips turned into that crooked smile.

  “You put what in these?” I hissed at him, stepping forward.

  Adam’s brow furrowed over his face.

  “I spent an hour catching fireflies for you,” he repeated, and I watched as his throat rose and fell as he swallowed. “Don’t worry—I poked holes in the top.”

  He moved closer to me, so I could smell his cologne—the one I’d bought him for his sixteenth birthday a few days earlier. I tried to hide the deep breath I took of him as he moved my fingers across the metal top, so I could feel the holes he’d poked.

  He smirked at me again with his fingers still over mine. I could feel the calluses from playing guitar; ones I’d felt a thousand times before as he leaned over me and tried his best to teach me how to strum.

  “You know I’d never hurt your precious fairies, Riv.”

  I couldn’t help but giggle. The heat rushed up to my face again, and it only worsened when I realized Adam had snuck into my room in the middle of the night to save me from the dark.

  “Thank you,” I whispered. “But how can I keep them?”

  Adam shrugged. “I did think of that after I’d caught them.”

  He reached into his backpack and pulled out a butterfly with what looked like liquid in its abdomen. He went to the outlet by the bed and plugged it in.

  “It goes off in the morning—so your mom will just think it’s one of those scenty things you chicks love so much.” He looked over his shoulder before sitting on my bed. “The real issue is what to do with the fireflies now.”

  “Let them go?” I suggested.

  I watched Adam’s eyes flash over mine, and I knew he was coming up with some devilish plan—one I’d go along with, like always. I never could say no to him or his brother, Bobby, for that matter. He turned and grabbed a few of the stuffed animals from the chair by the bed and stuck them under the sheets, so it looked like there was a body.

  “What are you thinking?” I asked as he came up and took the jars I wasn’t holding and put them back in his bag. He then took the one I was holding and put it in the spot where the night light had been.

  “It would’ve been a lot easier to carry the night light!” he teased as he slipped it over his shoulders and ducked out the window.

  “Adam!” I groaned as I followed him and leaned out the window.

  Adam was sitting on the limb below holding his hand out to me.

  “I promise I won’t let you fall,” he said, and I couldn’t deny the rush that was streaming through my veins.

  Adam would be the death of me. I followed suit and slid down onto the limb into his arms. They wrapped protectively around me, keeping me from falling, and my eyes wandered from his chest up to his brown eyes. They glowed under the light of the moon as he smiled down at me, and I could feel my pulse quickening.

  “One section at a time, just follow my lead,” he ordered, and before I could respond he was shimming down the tree.

  I took a deep breath before proceeding, but when I was at the last limb I looked down at him. I closed
my eyes quickly as the ground spun and my stomach twirled.

  “Adam, it’s too far!” I squealed as quietly as possible.

  “I’ll catch you!”

  I pried my lids open as I shook my head and he nodded his.

  “River!” he ordered.

  “Fine!” I snapped as I closed my eyes and let go.

  “See?” Adam said as his arms wrapped around my waist.

  “Fine,” I mumbled, unable to hide the smile that had crept onto my face from the adrenaline rush. His hand slipped easily into mine, and my heart faltered for a moment before my gaze locked on his.

  “We should go to where I got them—the lake.”

  “What if we get caught?”

  Adam raised his eyebrows. “Not going to happen, Riv.”

  “You’ll get your new car taken away!”

  “Bobby sneaks out all the time, and he never gets in trouble!” Adam reminded me, and we both scoffed.

  Bobby was the golden boy—he could do whatever he wanted.

  “He’s older than you.”

  “Two years, big whoop!”

  “Let’s get this over with!” I said.

  “Yes, Ma’am,” Adam replied as he handed me the back pack and leaned forward, so I could jump on his back.

  “Go, Adam!” I laughed as he ran forward.

  Then it had been my laughter. Now it was hers, whoever the hell she was. I opened my eyes and looked at the ceiling of my apartment. Ten years and I still hadn’t learned; I should have been used to it by now. I should have stopped caring years before.

  I should never have fallen in love with my best friend.

  My hand flew to my chest as I jolted back into reality with the sound of the wood door vibrating as a fist knocked up against it. I took a deep breath to calm the now frantic beating of my heart before standing and slowly opening the door.

  “Hey,” Bobby said, his head leaning against the strong curve of his arm. “Can I spend the night here? I can’t stand listening to his raucous love making again.”

  “I was about to see if you wanted to split a pizza with cheesy breadsticks with me?” I answered, signaling for him to come in.

  I shut the door, and Bobby’s frame towered over me, arms crossed, his lips tipped downwards in displeasure. “What’s wrong?”

  I shook my head, and he reached out to put his hands on my hips. His eyes were tender as he lowered his head.

  “Pizza and cheesy sticks, Riv? I know something is wrong.”

  The gesture only reminded me it would be so much easier if I had fallen in love with the other brother; the one towering over me like he wanted to kiss me.

  I pulled away and rolled my shoulders. “I’m fine.”

  “That’s it, isn’t it? You still love Adam?” Bobby asked as I walked over to the coffee table to grab my cell phone.

  I turned and smiled. “What do you want on your pizza?”

  He narrowed his eyes. “You know my toppings.”

  “Hawaiian pizza it is.”

  He blinked at me several times before flopping on the couch. It groaned at his weight, but somehow didn’t fold. His hockey player frame didn’t fit into much of the contemporary furniture in my place.

  “Are you sure you want to sleep on the couch? Your body hangs off of it,” I said as he stretched out and his legs stuck half-way over the edge.

  “Where else would I sleep?” he asked.

  A smirk came to his face as he put his arms behind his head with a thought I was sure I didn’t want to know.

  “I suggest we trade. I’ll take the couch and you can take my bed,” I answered with a nod over my shoulder.

  “Alright, sounds good to me.”

  “Pervert,” I muttered as I walked past him to go to grab him a beer from the fridge.

  “It’s not my fault you look like that,” he said as I handed him the drink.

  I ignored him and called to the order the pizza.

  “Twenty minutes,” I informed Bobby as he flipped to the hockey channel.

  “So why are you alone on a Friday night?” Bobby asked as he knocked back the remainder of his beer and stood to grab another.

  “You’re going to wipe me out,” I commented, avoiding the question as he closed the fridge.

  He held up a can of soda. “One beer limit when I’m with you.”

  “At least someone follows my rules,” I replied, smiling at him.

  “You know it! I’ll always follow your rules, Riv.”

  The commented was pointed, and I wondered why I couldn’t love him back. I looked over his large, muscular, hockey player frame, messy light brown hair and moss-green eyes speckled with yellow. He was hot; there was no denying that, but when he touched me I didn’t feel a spark. I only felt the tenderness of a friendship that began as children. Adam was so different than Bobby, yet I found myself constantly dating guys just like Bobby.

  They were safe.

  “So why are you alone on Friday night?” I asked.

  Bobby grabbed my arm and pulled me up before moving me onto the couch beside him.

  “I’m not alone. I’m with you,” he replied, and his voice was a purr against my neck. His warm breath washed over my skin but did nothing to my insides.

  I turned and smacked his chest. “Shut up!”

  He winked at me before saying, “Careful, you don’t want to break your hand on my pecks!”

  “You and Adam are one in the same with your cockiness,” I teased as I pulled my legs up to my chest.

  “But different in so many ways,” Bobby replied as his eyes washed over me again.

  “You’re weird, you know that?” I retorted.

  I was used to his half-hearted attempts at swooning me by now. He never directly came out and made any move. He just tried to gently nudge me in his favor, but the look in his eyes showed he knew it was a losing battle. There was a tease there, but it was flecked with a sadness that showed in the twitch of his lips.

  A knock came at the door and our eyes unlocked from one another.

  “Pizza!” Bobby cheered as he jumped up and went to the door. He pulled out his wallet just as I stood to go to my purse. He shook his head as he said, “This one’s on me. I drink half the beer you buy anyways.”

  He opened the door and took the boxes of steaming food before handing the guy a twenty. A typical guy nod was exchanged.

  “Thanks, bro,” the pizza guy said.

  “Have a good one,” Bobby replied.

  I shook my head in wonder as I grabbed some napkins from the counter. I could never understand how both Adam and Bobby’s voices changed when they talked to someone other than me. It deepened to a gruff, manly octave that, while I didn’t understand it, I found attractive.

  “You want another soda?” I asked as the smell wafted over me, and my stomach grumbled.

  “Sure thing.”

  “I swear to God you must have the biggest bladder on the planet,” I joked as I handed him the can and sat down beside him.

  “Don’t forget my appetite. You only asked me over because you’re only going to eat one piece, and you don’t want this thing to go to waste.”

  “Technically, you invited yourself over.”

  “I thought you were coming to ask me anyways, or were you really looking for Adam?”

  His lips were in a smile, but I could see the muscles in his arms tensing at his question.

  I put my head on his shoulder. “No, I was looking for my teddy bear of a best friend.”

  I lifted my head at his still displeased look and frowned in question.

  “Who’s your better best friend, Adam or me?” Bobby asked, looking at me from the corner of his eyes.

  “Come on Bobby! You know it’s different with Adam.”

  He nodded in defeat. “Yeah, I know.”

  I knocked my shoulders against his. “Eat your pizza and shut up. Either way your mom still hates me with the fire of a thousand burning suns.”

  Bobby smirked. “That she does, es
pecially since you’ve got both of her boys tied in knots.”

  “Both of you?”

  “Err…with having a best friend who’s a chick. Screws up relationships like no tomorrow.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him, but he grabbed a piece of pizza and took a bite. He smiled at me with his mouth full, and conceded, taking a slice for myself.

  Chapter 2

  It was like clockwork; the second I remembered how much Adam and Bobby’s mom hated me, I would be roped into a block party, family party, or some other occasion that would remind me I was definitely right. Their mom did despise my existence.

  Even if the boys hadn’t begged me to go, I’d still have to; after all, our families were practically one. We’d grown up almost every second of our lives with each other—our moms were best friends, and we even spent holidays at one another’s houses. Getting out of a party like this was damned near impossible when my parents would want me to be at it, too. I could say no to them about as much as I could say no to the Beckerson boys.

  The forty-five minute drive had droned on in silence as I pouted over the idea in the backseat of Adam’s VW.

  Finally I spoke up, “How did I get roped into this again?”

  Adam looked over his shoulder at me and winked, sending a tingle up my spine. “I need your support. You know how it is.”

  “What does that mean?” Bobby snapped, and I pushed my knee a little further into his back.

  He knew exactly what it meant.

  “You’re the favorite. River makes it easier to take their bullshit digs at me. I can’t wait to hear what they say about my new job,” Adam replied, and his voice showed the venom he rarely demonstrated towards Bobby.

  “There’s no favorite, man, that’s all in your head,” Bobby answered.

  Adam looked over at me again, and I shrugged. The acknowledgement passed between us that there certainly was a favorite.

  Adam’s family held Bobby on a pedestal for his sports achievements, which eventually led to an injury that made it so he could never play hockey again. Still, as the hockey coach at the local high school he was a legend in everyone’s eyes. From the backseat the comparison between the two of them was almost laughable.