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She smiled then and messed his hair. “So, are you okay? Do you have questions or anything?”
“I’m fine. They fight like that all the time. I’m kinda used to it. I’ve never heard him call her a name like that though.”
“Good, because he shouldn’t say that. Especially about your mom. She’s kinda the best thing ever, right?”
“Yeah, she is.” He looked over at his mom, which caused Jules to look at the door. “Mom, are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I came to say goodnight and give you some snuggles.” She walked in and leaned over him, kissing him and hugging him. He hugged and kissed her back. “I love you, Zachary,” she whispered. She stood up and smiled at him. “Sleep tight.” She turned and walked out of the room.
“Do me a favor, little man. Keep an eye on her, okay? She doesn’t think it, but she needs to be taken care of too.”
He nodded his head.
“Good man.” Jules flicked off the light, as she closed the door. He lay there and thought about his dad.
The man wasn’t perfect, and that night, something shifted in the little boy. Not only did he realize that his father wasn’t Superman, he realized that he might not be as good of a man as he thought.
†
“Porter.”
“Jules!”
“Little man?”
“How are you? I miss you! When are you gonna come visit?”
Jules laughed. “I’m good. I miss you too. I have time off for the next couple weeks. I gotta talk to your mom about coming out there.”
He sat down on a chair at the dining room table. “You should come now. I think she really needs you.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I mean. She’s…she’s fine. I just heard her crying last night.” He drew an invisible line on the table with the tip of his finger.
“Oh, she must miss your dad, bud.”
“Sure,” Zachary answered without enthusiasm.
“How was school, though? I called for you yesterday, but I got home too late. I want to know all about it.”
“It’s just school, Jules. Same as the other one with just different teachers and kids.”
“C’mon, are you getting along with the kids? See any beauties?”
“I’ve been hanging out with Jason and Andy. They’re cool. Today, I was walking to my room and bumped into this girl. She totally got mad at me. Jules, she is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
Jules chuckled. “Oh yeah? What’s her name?”
“I don’t know. She isn’t in my class. I saw her at recess though. She was walking around with some other girls.”
“Bud! That’s awesome. I’m sure you’ll get a chance to learn more about her. Call me when you find out her name. I’m sure she’d be into ya. You’re a handsome guy. If you need advice, let me know.”
“I will but not yet. I mean. I wouldn’t even know what to say to her.”
“Well, you could just say hey. Then, a few days later, you could say something else. Don’t make it obvious that you like her. Just play it cool, ya know?”
“Yeah, I guess.” He noticed his mom walk into the dining room.
“Alright, I should let you go. Tell your mom that I’ll call her later.”
“Mom, Jules said she’ll call you later.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Unless she wants to talk now,” Jules said. Zach handed the phone to his mom. He grabbed his backpack and headed upstairs.
†
“Hello?”
“Um…hey. I’m sorry for letting all of that out on you last night. I have no excuse. I must control my emotions, especially with you. I just wanted to know if I fucked things up last night or if you still want my help with the house.”
Reese walked up the stairs and into her bedroom. “Of course I still need your help. And nothing is…messed up. We are completely fine. Always fine. I accept your apology. I’m sorry for getting angry. I have a hard time controlling my emotions around you too.”
“Is this really a good idea for me to come out there?”
Reese knew not to ask any other questions. They would have plenty of time to talk when Julia was there with her. “Yes, I think so. We could get the house in order. It will be great!” She sat on the edge of the bed.
“If we are both having a hard time…controlling our emotions, you sure I should come up for the whole time?”
“Yes!” she said too forcefully. Reese stopped herself and took a deep breath. “You were planning on staying for that amount of time anyway. Why would last night’s conversation change that?”
“I don’t know. I guess it wouldn’t.”
“Why don’t you pack up some things and come up in the morning, if Caitlyn is fine with it. You can come with me to buy a lawn mower.”
“A lawn mower? Reese Iverson is gonna buy a lawn mower?” Julia laughed.
“Julia, seriously? I have a large lawn that needs to be mowed, and you’re going to mow it all for me. So, we’ll buy a big riding mower. I need you to tell me which one to buy.”
“Your wish is my command. Like I said, I want to help you out and earn my keep.”
“Don’t be silly, Julia.” Her voice softened. “I can’t wait to see you.”
“Me too. But I’ve gotta go pack so I can leave early in the morning. We’ll go buy your mower, then I’ll start cleaning up your yard.”
Reese smiled. “There is a lot of yard to mow. It will probably take you a few hours.”
“Well, then I’d better get going so I can sleep and get there as soon as I can.” Reese imagined that Julia was sitting on the couch and hoped she was wearing the dark-blue t-shirt that she had bought for her.
“Yes, I also need to go and make a list of things to do. I’ll see you tomorrow. Tell Caitlyn that I said hello.” Reese closed her eyes.
“Yep. Will do. Should I bring Ollie with me?”
Reese’s eyes popped open. “Yes. Please do. I think he would love it here.”
“Ok, good. Reese?”
There was a pause. The dance had begun again. “I know. You too.”
They hung up the phone, and Reese looked around her room. She needed to come up with a new plan. She needed to figure out what she needed help with and fast. If she kept them both busy, the next two weeks would be a breeze. Distractions would be the best thing for them both.
†
Julia threw her phone on the couch. She was torn. She knew that she and Reese would just slip back into their holding pattern after last night. It had happened before, sweeping things under the rug. It was becoming clear that they shared a talent for ignoring what was right in front of their faces. Ollie followed her into the bedroom. “Hey there.” The puppy jumped up onto the bed, where Julia fell face first. She turned her head to her dog. “How am I gonna spend two weeks with her?” Ollie nuzzled her with a whine. “I know. This is gonna be torture! I just…need to see her. I must see her. What am I gonna do? I gotta talk to Caitlyn.”
“Talk to me about what?”
Ollie jumped off the bed and ran out of the room. Julia pushed herself back up and sat on the edge of the bed. “I think I’m going to head up there tomorrow.”
“Are you serious? Taking an extra day off?” Caitlyn shifted on her feet.
“Yeah, I think that’s better. Get up there, get started. It’s going to be a lot of work.”
“Aww, poor baby.” Caitlyn finally stepped into the room. She walked over toward Julia and stood between her knees. She grabbed Julia’s head with both hands and pulled her in for a kiss. Slowly, she pulled back and looked into Julia’s eyes. “Well, if you’re going to leave early, then maybe we should do something together.”
She nodded. “Are you still ok with me going?”
“Yes. I want you to help her get set up. Why don’t I head up there for the weekend? That way we can all relax for a change.”
Julia did not want Caitlyn there. Just the thought alone made her irritated. She put h
er forehead on Caitlyn’s chest, wrapped her arms around her waist, and squeezed. She hoped she could just avoid that portion of the conversation. “How was work today?”
“Work? You’re asking me about my work? It bores you to tears.”
“Eh, I still wanna know what happened.”
Caitlyn began to describe her day. She was right. It was boring for Julia to listen to. Her girlfriend was not like Reese at all. Reese was entertaining when she spoke about her day and usually included stories about Zachary, which was fitting and endeared her to Julia. When Caitlyn spoke, her tone grated on Julia’s nerves. She wished it were different, but who was she kidding? She was in love with Reese. She was only with Caitlyn to avoid feeling so alone.
A smart woman, Catilyn was kind hearted, funny, and supportive. They got along well enough. They liked the same kind of movies and didn’t want to cuddle. When they didn’t see each other for days, Caitlyn was content to get a text. It was sort of refreshing to have the freedoms that she had with Caitlyn.
Reese was a different story. She didn’t understand half of Julia’s jokes, yet she knew more about everything than anyone Julia had ever met. She hated the action movies that Julia preferred, and Julia couldn’t stand the boring documentaries that Reese always insisted on watching.
The intensely creative writer possessed a knack for communicating emotions through her characters. In real life, a wall of logic kept Reese comfortable. Things were shifting. Julia could feel the change. Relieved on one hand, she knew that being someone Reese opened up to was an honor and a privilege. On the other hand, the tremblings in that wall were starting to scare her. She knew Reese wasn’t ready to consider a divorce from Aiden. Julia wasn’t sure she would be able to keep her own feelings in check if the floodgates opened.
The bedroom was quiet, and Julia realized Caitlyn had stopped talking. She looked up at her and smiled.
“See? Boring.” Caitlyn said.
“No,” Julia started to protest, but it was futile. Caitlyn leaned in and kissed her.
“My dear, what’s wrong?” Why did she have to say that? The term was irritating. Julia was neither hers nor a dear.
“Nothing. I gotta pack some stuff.” Julia stood up and walked around Caitlyn, as she headed for her closet.
Caitlyn sat on the bed and watched Julia rummage through the closet. “How long are you going to be gone again?”
The suitcase Julia pulled out filled the space between Caitlyn and the end of the bed. “I told you it was going to be two weeks.”
“The whole time? Can’t I have you for a few days?”
Julia rolled her eyes.
“No, seriously. I would like to spend some with you.”
“You already said that you didn’t mind me going for two weeks. I’m going there to help her get the house ready.” Julia kept her responses casual. She could sense a fight coming.
“I know.” Caitlyn shifted uncomfortably.
“Caitlyn, I…” Julia didn’t really know what to say. She could sense her anger growing, and she wasn’t exactly sure how to stop it.
“You would rather stay up there with her, right?”
Julia turned and went to the dresser. She opened a drawer and sorted through her t-shirts, prolonging that simple barrier between them.
“Julia.” Caitlyn’s voice was starting to grow in volume. “C’mon. I’m not an idiot. I know how you feel about her. Anyone with eyes can see it.”
Julia turned and stacked the clothes in the open luggage. She turned and opened another drawer. “Babe, where is this coming from?” Julia’s go-to deflection made Caitlyn’s concerns the problem.
“Please don’t treat me like an idiot. Are you sleeping with her?”
“No.”
“Is that by choice or circumstance?”
Julia turned around and looked into sad blue eyes.
“Or is it actually both?”
“No.”
“Julia look, I knew this wasn’t going to last forever. I’ve enjoyed being your filler. I like you a lot. But I saw her face when she said goodbye to you at the farewell party. I’ve also been living with you the past few days since she left.”
“Caitlyn, it’s not what you think. She’s my friend. I just have to adjust to not seeing her every day, no big deal.”
“I know you enough to know that this has been a long time coming. I think it’s time for us to take a break.” Caitlyn’s smile showed her anger was waning.
“What? No.” Julia dropped the shorts she was holding and went to the bed. “Babe, please don’t do this. I’ll come back early, and we’ll spend a whole week, just you and me.”
“I can’t be your shield anymore. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. You spend most of your time with them anyway.”
“She’s married.”
“But you love her.”
Julia’s head dropped, and she closed her eyes.
“You can tell me. I’m not going to hate you.”
Julia barely whispered, “Yes.”
“What?”
“Yes,” she said louder. “I love her.” Julia opened her eyes to a loving gaze. “I’m so sorry, Caitlyn.”
“It’s okay. I knew it when we met. All you ever talked about was her and Zach. I thought it was just one-sided, but I don’t think that anymore. Besides, I sort of have the same problem.”
Julia took a step back and tilted her head. “You’re in love with her, too?”
Caitlyn laughed as she placed her hands on Julia’s arms. “No. I’ve been spending a lot of time with my research assistant…”
Now, Julia was extremely confused. “Kevin, the old guy?”
“No. “ Caitlyn laughed. “Rachel. I love that you and I are so easy, Julia. The sex is amazing. I just think its sorta time that we stop acting as each other’s excuse for not pursuing real happiness.” Caitlyn gently rubbed Julia’s arms.
“I’m happy with you. I am,” Julia insisted.
“I get butterflies in my stomach when Rachel walks into the room. I come up with stupid reasons for her to stand there and talk to me. When I see her, no matter what I was feeling before, I am completely content and happy. You are more excited to drive up to the middle of nowhere just to be near Reese than you were to hear me suggest that we go to the beach.”
Julia reached forward around Cailyn’s waist and pulled her close. “So, this is us breaking up? ’Cause we’re both in love with other people?”
Caitlyn smiled and nodded.
“The sex is good though?” Julia smiled, as she received another enthusiastic nod. Julia pressed her body against Caitlyn and kissed her roughly. Caitlyn wrapped her arms around Julia’s neck, and Julia walked her backward until they both fell on the bed.
Chapter Seven
The coffee was too cold. Julia drank it quickly and tossed the empty cup over her shoulder into the back seat. She looked around her. There wasn’t anything for miles. She hated driving so far in the dark, but she couldn’t sleep anyway. All she cared about was seeing Reese. The broken white lines on the road were blurring together. Ollie was curled up on the passenger seat, fast asleep. She was sure that she was close to the turn off. She grabbed her phone with one hand and unlocked it. She squinted at the map, only a few more miles. She would see her in a few more miles.
The trees were beginning to appear, as the dark sky became a lighter shade of grey. The sun would be up and shining soon. Julia thought about what she would do when she saw her. Excitement was bubbling in her chest. She could tell her about Caitlyn, how she was free. Free to love her. A smile ran across her face. The large iron gate was open.
She slowed the car and pulled into the long, tree-lined driveway. As a building came into focus, she took in what looked like an old haunted house. How was Reese Iverson going to survive in that? She pulled up next to Reese’s car and took a deep breath.
Staring at the house, she rubbed her hands on her thighs. She grabbed Ollie’s leash and hooked it to his harness. The front d
oor opened. Reese was standing there. Their eyes locked, smiles plastered on their faces. Julia opened the car door and started walking toward her. The little dog followed.
“Wait!” Reese held out her hand.
Julia almost fell forward, as her feet ground a sudden halt in the gravel. Reese laughed, “The movers broke some boards on the front porch. Come around to the back. I don’t want you to fall through the floor.” Julia chuckled as she walked in the direction of Reese’s motioning hand.
She came up onto the back porch, and Reese opened the back door. They stood looking at each other. She kept her distance, unsure of how to start. Reese took a step forward and grabbed Julia in a strong embrace.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Reese exclaimed.
Days had felt like months, and she was finally there in the flesh. Julia didn’t want to let go. She squeezed Reese tighter, then released.
“Zachary is getting ready for school; I’ll need to take him soon. Do you need anything?”
“Um. I’ve got luggage in the trunk, and I would love some coffee.”
“Why don’t you just come with us, and we can get coffee in town? I don’t have the kitchen set up yet. It’s been a little difficult. Let me show you the house and make sure Zachary finishes getting ready for school.”
The two women stepped into the house. The kitchen flooring was torn up and seemed to be shoved into a corner. A dirt shadow on the walls indicated where cabinetry used to hang. Julia stepped over some debris, and they entered another room.
“This is the dining room. Obviously, the kitchen is being ripped out. Over here is the entry foyer.” Reese explained.
Julia noticed there was no sense of happiness in her voice. The flatness she heard was the opposite of everything Julia knew about her friend and her sense of style. Chaos was not high on her list. Everything was always neat and tidy in her Portland home. Organization was a priority for Reese, and everything in her house and life had a perfect place to reside.
Stacks of boxes littered the floor, with dust everywhere and no place for any object to be put away. No wonder Reese didn’t look very happy. Julia bent down and took Ollie off the leash. He ran up the stairs. She knew he wanted to see Zach.