Monster's Temptation (Monster & Me #1) Read online

  He obviously didn’t know about the camera in there that was always watching me.

  “Ma’am, I assure you, Blake receives the utmost care at Bright Meadows Asylum. Now, following procedures, I will remain in the room during your visitation. Normally, we hold these in the main visitors’ room, but seeing this is a unique situation, I’ll make an exception.”

  “What situation?” I asked, trepidation sliding up my spine.

  Mother sighed, and I watched the transformation of her worried face morphing into something sorrowful, shadows flaring behind her eyes, darkening now. She would have made an amazing actress, able to change her emotions in the blink of an eye. But I suppose the skill worked well for her as a politician’s wife.

  “Your father has died,” she murmured with no difficulty, no tears shed. “I know this will be hard for you, Blake, to lose your dad. Maybe it gives you solace to know that he truly cared for you, wanting only the best care for you by placing you in here.”

  My chest constricted, and it had nothing to do with my father dying. I didn’t give two fucks about that, and I’d often wished that he’d died long ago. But for her to spread blatant lies in front of Steele infuriated me. It burned across my chest, coming at me in waves so hard that a sharp ache rose in my stomach.

  Three years of her silence, and now this.

  I couldn’t hold it back, and my words streamed out. “He never cared for me, Mother. So, let’s not pretend by spreading lies.”

  When you lived in a house of deception and hatred, there was no spark of grief for those who made your life hell. Only relief.

  “Don’t be so insensitive,” she griped. “Your father is barely cold in his grave and you’d dare to speak so harshly of him.”

  “Wait, you’ve already buried him? Did you have a funeral?” I hated that I even cared, but it would have given me a chance to get out of here. For at least a little bit.

  Mother huffed. “I didn’t think it would be good for your mental state to attend, dear.”

  I reared back in my seat, and instantly, I lost all ability to remember any of my lessons on remaining calm.

  “Are you kidding me? The only reason I’m in here is because I caught Father fucking Ryan, Dale, and Stacey…at the same time. There’s nothing wrong with me, but if he’s dead, he deserves it. And you should know the truth.”

  Everything came blurting out, words I’d held safely in my head for the past few years but had been dying to say. My father had threatened me from talking about what I witnessed, but with him dead, I wasn’t going to hold back anymore.

  And I desperately wanted Steele to know the truth.

  Mother paused, the color draining from her face, and she eyed me like she’d morphed into the grim reaper coming to collect my soul. “Blake, you are sick, and only a crazy person would make up such horrible stories.”

  “Ma’am, we don’t call anyone sick or crazy here,” Steele interjected, sounding calm despite my outburst.

  She turned to him with hatred in her eyes. “I do apologize you have to hear the filthy lies she tells. The strain she has put on our family is unbearable.”

  “Strain?” I stated, balancing on the edge of my chair, interjecting before Steele could say anything.

  “Blake,” he warned in the darker tone he used to remind me to take a deep breath. To reel my anger back in.

  My words rushed out regardless as anger swallowed me. “I’ve been locked in here for over three fucking years because of his lies.”

  Without a word, Mother stood, straightened her dress, and collected the rose jacket hanging on the back of her seat. She held her head high, her cheeks flushed from the embarrassment I’d caused her. It was hard to tell if she knew about Father’s deceit or if this was a real shock for her.

  “You are ill, Blake, and this is the best place to make you better. You may not know it now, but one day, you’ll thank your father and me.” She glanced at the doctor as she talked, because everything she did was for show.

  I bit my tongue until it hurt, until I tasted blood in my mouth and no longer felt the thundering ache tearing across my chest. For so long I’d played the quiet daughter, and I’d let them walk all over me.

  “Please do not make a scene,” Mother continued. “I’ve come to let you know the tragic news of your father. Let’s leave it at that.” She looked ready to leave, and I jolted to my feet, which had Steele doing the same.

  “Please, wait.”

  She turned to me with fury pulling her manicured eyebrows together. Which was a feat considering how much botox I knew she got every couple of months.

  “With Father gone, you can dissolve the conservatorship and get me out of here. I’ve spent long enough here. Please.” Freedom teetered on the edge of my mind, so close I could almost taste it, while I internally cursed myself for lashing out at her. My mother was a vengeful person.

  I sensed Steele moving in beside me. “Blake, your mother and I had been discussing this earlier.”

  “And?” I stared from him to her, and her grin was fierce. My mind raced with wild scenarios and excuses they’d give me to steal away my freedom, until I grew breathless.

  “I’m moving out of the state, dear, and I just signed the papers today to dissolve my conservatorship over you. So you are free.” She smirked. “But unfortunately, you’re apparently still suffering from episodes, so your release from the asylum will be determined by the board of doctors once you’ve healed.”

  I gaped at her, my head spinning. I couldn’t move, but stared at her, drawing in her every word.

  Silence hung between us, and tears were running down my cheeks. I had zero control over my life, and I fucking hated it.

  “You can’t do this,” my words choked out, my body trembling uncontrollably. “I don’t belong here!”

  Steele crossed the room and opened the door to his office for my mother to leave, while I wanted the world to crack open and swallow me. This couldn’t be happening.

  Panic clawed at my heart, and before I could think straight, I reached for my mother, grabbing her arm, my fingernails digging into her arm out of pure desperation on my part.

  She barked a yelp, her eyes widening while she ripped her hand free from me.

  “Mom, please!” I looked at her for sympathy, for something other than just her icy stare. I stepped closer to her, and she flinched back. That small reaction stung right through my heart.

  Steele was suddenly beside me, his arm looping around mine with his warm touch, holding me tightly against him. “Blake, I need you to calm down for me.”

  Fury drummed through me as the world tilted around me, swirling too fast.

  Mother checked her wrist where I drew blood and wiped it away with the pad of her thumb. Lifting her gaze, she scowled. Glancing at the doctor, she barked, “She needs discipline, and maybe you’re not the right person. She just attacked me. I hope you intend to punish her for such a crime or I will take this higher.”

  I gasped aloud and my gut clenched. I stared at her incredulously, wanting to lash out for all the horrible things she and Father did to me.

  “This is an emotional situation, a grieving moment,” he explained. “I will ensure this is dealt with.”

  I glared at my mother, so angry, so desperate that I wanted to throttle her, to force her to treat me as her daughter for a change. But I guessed that was too much to ask for.

  She flicked her gaze in my direction. “We all have to live with our own demons, dear. Enjoy yours.” Then she strolled out of my life. And I knew that would be the last time I’d ever see her.

  That bitch.

  I fought against Steele’s grip, lunging to go after her, but he tightened his hold on my arm and slammed the door to his room, closing us in there alone. Then he spun me around by my shoulders to face him.

  “Let me go,” my voice crackled with the first tear rolling down my cheek.

  “Blake, you can’t attack people here. I can only do so much to protect you,” he explai
ned in a low, soothing voice that seemed to almost lull me into a false state of calm. “I don't want them to force me to sedate you while you’re handling your grief.”

  “This is not grief for my monster of a father.” I fisted my hands, and I wanted to scream. “This is from years of them mentally and emotionally abusing me. From being thrown in here so I was silenced, and now I’m told I have to stay here because I have stress dreams? How the fuck is that fair?” Tears pooled in my eyes, and they blurred the doctor’s face while cold rushed through me with the reality of my fucked up circumstance.

  “Nothing’s changed,” Steele tried to explain. “You’re progressing nicely, and we focus on that.”

  Except he was wrong. “I. Don’t. Belong. Here,” I cried, shaking. “My mother could have taken me out because she knows why I’m really here. I’m innocent.”

  Steele reached out for me, but I backed away from him because no one would help. No one cared. At this stage, I was crying hysterically, hugging myself, and suddenly the room spun with me, tilting at an angle, while darkness feathered at the edges of my eyes.

  And the last words I heard from Steele were, “I just need you to take your pills to stop the nightmares, and I’ll do everything I can to set you free.”

  “You should take it. You’ll feel better,” the nurse in her white dress persisted as she handed me a small plastic cup with a blue pill inside over the dispensing counter. “It should help calm you down.”

  The familiar sense of helplessness filled me as it had done before. They’d never offered me this kind of pill before, mostly under Father’s instructions, but Nurse Rose was new here and had been monitoring my sleep. She was sweet, and I saw the pity on her face that morning.

  “Will it help me sleep?” I whispered over the counter.

  She nodded. “It should.”

  My fingers tightened around this tiny cup with a shaky hand, staring at this crazy little pill. The temptation to take it sat on the edge of my mind, along with the trepidation of what it would do to me.

  What if she was right and I could finally have a good night’s sleep?

  “Are you done already?” a girl lining up behind me snarled and drove a sharp shoulder into mine, causing me to stumble and almost lose my cup. By some miracle, I managed to fumble it but not drop it.

  I turned, furious, only to come face to face with Madison–the girl who liked to cut herself and others if given the chance. She creeped me out, because when you looked into her eyes, there was nothing there. Did she even have a soul?

  Somehow, all the crazies in this place were drawn to me.

  I stumbled out of her way quickly before she became too interested in me.

  I glanced up to the orderly watching me. “I need to see you take the pill before you leave, or I’ll administer it myself,” he stated harshly, his gaze flickering to the line of girls waiting for their morning doses.

  A debilitating panic slithered through me that I’d be trapped in this asylum forever, and maybe the nurse was right about the blue pill taking away the dreams.

  Without another thought, I popped it into my mouth and swallowed it with no water.

  “Open your mouth,” the orderly stated, and I did just that, sticking my tongue out. With his approval, I made my way to the TV room.

  I don’t remember how long I sat on the couch, and I didn’t know what I watched–I slouched in my seat lifelessly. It was a strange thing to not feel your body while your mind floated. Escaping my memories was almost liberating though, and I just hoped this sensation helped me sleep peacefully tonight.

  Maybe being completely numb wasn’t so bad…

  A spark of something sharp stuck into my arm. Something I didn’t understand right away. I craned my head down to my arm where the girl who’d shoved me out of the line earlier was gripping my arm, her fingernails in my skin, pushing down.

  “Ouch,” I managed, moments after it happened because my mouth didn’t want to move. I had been partially aware of the pain, while thoughts flickered in and out of my mind. But moving to get away from her seemed an impossible thing to do.

  “Don’t ever push in front of me again, bitch. Next time, I’ll cut you until you bleed to death,” she snarled in my ear, raking her nails down my arms, breaking the skin.

  I cried out that time, and she jolted out of the seat before rushing away. I sat there a second later, staring at the droplets of blood rolling down my arm. And a tinge of worry crawled through me at how vulnerable I felt right now. How I seemed to have forgotten how to even get up from this couch.

  I shut my eyes and cradled my cut arm against my middle in my drug-filled haze. And I kept feeling like there was something important I should be doing…

  CHAPTER 3

  BLAKE

  The lights were off, and the storm outside darkened the art room. Rain struck on the windowpane, while thunder growled overhead in a musical tune I normally enjoyed.

  Today, it got on my nerves, the sound growing repetitive and annoying. It had been one week since my mother’s visit, and not even the weather could soothe my mood.

  It was the first day I hadn’t cried.

  This morning, Steele insisted it was a sign of my improvement. In truth, I’d run out of tears. Because on the inside, I still felt as broken and destroyed as the moment Mother sealed my fate in this place.

  If you take the pill, you will recover quicker, Blake. The dreams will ease, and you’ll have a case to prove you are improving enough to leave.

  Bless Steele. He truly did care for me. And as much as I fell victim to his charm and burned all over when he stepped too close to me, when I inhaled his woodsy cologne, when I imagined what it would feel like to have his hands on me, I also couldn’t forget how the blue pill made me feel. Numb and useless. It left me vulnerable in a place filled with real crazies who snapped at the drop of a hat.

  And the trouble wouldn’t end there. Bright Meadows had systems in place where they made sure you stayed on medication after you got out of here as well.

  My gaze darted towards Madison. She sat across the room from me now in our team circle of twelve people. Her earlier smile morphed into a threatening scowl at my entrance.

  The girl loathed me, and my breath hitched all the way down to my lungs whenever she came near me. For some reason, she hated me from my first encounter with her three years ago. Like several other inmates–I mean patients. Since then, she’d been in my face any chance she got.

  Dr. Jamison better hurry up. I glanced back at the open door, willing her to just appear.

  Crack.

  Several of the patients in class flinched and yelped at the crack of lightning.

  I flopped down in a chair next to Ed, the guy who enjoyed smearing his food over his face. He was harmless and left me alone. I liked that.

  Madison sat across from me.

  Everyone in the circle had fallen silent.

  She mumbled something under her breath, at one stage snapping loudly, “You think I don’t know that?”

  Her shoulders were hunched up, and she appeared terrifying. I once heard the nurses mention Madison having dissociative identity disorder. She apparently suffered from alternate personalities and heard voices talking to her. As a result, she was on heavy medication to help her. Though with the unhinged look in her eyes, I was doubting she took her meds today.

  Like with any vicious dog staring you down, I didn’t look directly at her and internally wished the therapist would get here already. It really wasn’t like her to not be here before us.

  Madison got to her feet, gripping something in her closed fist, her dead eyes on me. The only reason I knew that was because someone gasped out loud and I jerked my head up.

  Her friend, the only girl mad enough to spend time with Madison, grabbed her shirt. “Mads, sit down. You’ll get us all in trouble.”

  “Block the door, Jen!” she ordered in response.

  “Mads,” she whined, her face blanching.

  “Do it f
ucking now!”

  Jen’s shoulders curled forward, but she darted to the door regardless, carrying her chair and jamming the back under the handle.

  My heart somersaulted and I jumped to my feet, moving to stand behind my chair, gripping it because every hair on my body stood on end. Of course she was coming for me. She did whenever she got the chance, but something was different about her today.

  I wondered which personality I’d encounter… her serial killer one, I bet.

  Because she looked genuinely ready to murder me.

  With Dr. Jamison not in the room, there’d be no one to stop this crazy bitch from killing me.

  “Madison, don’t do anything stupid,” I said.

  “You calling me stupid?” she barked, her lips peeling back over a row of yellow stained teeth.

  “N-no. If you do anything, you’ll end up in isolation for a very long time.” I talked fast when I was nervous, my hands gripping the chair, my knuckles going white.

  A girl nearby started crying, while another rushed into the corner and hid behind the curtains.

  The others watched with huge eyes, ready to be entertained. Nothing exciting happened in the asylum, so when two patients got into a fight, everyone cheered. No one would help me… because they were too scared of Madison. Too scared of ending up in isolation.

  Madison’s eyes twitched again, and she looked possessed, as if her face wasn't her own.

  “You’re in my seat,” she barked at me.

  “It’s yours. Take it,” I answered.

  She just nodded and smirked as she snatched the chair from my grip and kicked it aside.

  Okay, maybe that wasn’t such a bright idea to give away my only barricade from crazy eyes here.

  “Madison, please,” I began, but I never got to finish my sentence. The bitch lashed out with her fist at my face.

  I reared back, but not quick enough. A sharp sting sliced across my cheek and halfway across my nose.