Should We Know? Read online

schoolroom table in a room only illuminated by the moon and a couple of candles Lie had lit. We were in a small abandoned school building that was part of the old campus, apparently a girl committed suicide in here and all the students decided never to go back in, the building was scheduled for demolishing at some point. Lie sat at what was the teacher’s desk, while the rest of us sat on the surrounding tables. She took out a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of wine from one of the drawers. Taking a swig of the whiskey and passing it around, she proceeded to spin the wine bottle on her desk. It landed on Niche who without being asked or even looking up said, “dare”. Lie’s face exploded with a smiled and her septum wiggled, that was the first time, “I dare you to take a shot from Snakey’s hippy”

  “What happened to starting slowly?”

  “We have a new comer! We have to impress him”

  “Fine, fine” Niche said like she knew better and walked over to Solid Snake (I think I’ll start calling him Snakey too or maybe Double S) and held her hand out, like she was a teacher waiting for a student to hand over what ever she had just confiscated. Snakey reached down into his jeans and pulled out a hipflask (which I assumed was warm due to where it was kept). Niche unscrewed the top and swallowed a mouthful. I had never heard anyone gag like that, not even in the movies. About five seconds after the smell of whatever was in that hit me and I had to fight with my own gag reflex.

  “Um truth” I said as the bottle landed on me after three spins, in which Lie and Snakey (twice) each chose dare and drank from the ‘hippy’. “How would you have sex with me?” Lie said with a toothy honest smile “please be as graphic as possible”. I hesitated and Niche handed me the bottle of whiskey, nudging me with it a couple of times first. Taking a couple of swigs I felt ready, “okay well, not that I’ve thought about it or anyth-”

  “Bullshit” Lie whispered shooting me with a finger gun

  “First I would kiss you, I mean, we would kiss”

  “With tongue?”

  “With tongue, yeah. And then I guess my hand would be in your hair anyway and I would pull your head back, softly, not hurting you or anything, and I would start to kiss your neck”

  “Neck kissing FTW” Snakey said resting his head on Niche who promptly pushed him off

  “Then lower and lower until”

  “No no go back up, I believe I said as graphic as possible, don’t tell me you’re going to neglect my belly button!”

  “Okay, so I would kiss your breasts and suck them or whatever” I don’t know why but I looked at Lie at this point and she held me in her gaze, I genuinely could not look away, I really wanted to…obviously. “Then lower, I would blow a raspberry on your belly button”

  “Nice, Snake-man why aren’t you taking notes, this is good shit”

  “And then you know I would…kiss you there”

  “Say it”

  “You know what I mean”

  “So say it, say you would kiss and lick and suck my pretty pussy”

  “Yeah that” I handed her the whiskey

  “Yeah yeah, and then you would fuck blah blah” Niche got up and spun the bottle and it landed on her, I think that’s karma, “dare”

  “Kiss Rebi”, to which she promptly pulled me over to her, so our faces were closer. “I dunno, we just met and you must have a boyfriend right?” I didn’t want to kiss anyone on my first day, kissing is too intimate and I didn’t want anyone that close to me again. “Nonsense” Lie stated rising from her chair like she was a prime minster protecting her position in parliament. “Look, kissing isn’t anything really. Kissing someone you love is different- it’s the feelings, the emotions, the intentions behind a kiss that makes it more than just physical contact. Kissing, hand holding, cuddling, all of them can and should be platonic. I’m quite passionate on the subject and I feel like so many people are ignorant to platonicism” she had walked over to me and now had her face right in front of mine, the candle light seemed to dance in her eyes like they were home alone. “We’re friends now and that means we can do this” she kissed me, not with tongue, like a cute little kiss, “its platonic, we’re all chill about that kind of thing, you will be too”.

  “Cool?” Niche nodded to me and I nodded back and she kissed me…with tongues, but platonically and because it’s a game I suppose.

  A few dares and truths later we decided to call it a night, Niche and Snakey lived in the same building which was basically on the opposite side of campus to where I was living. Lie lived in a building near to mine so we walked back together. After we had said bye to the others she held my hand. I hadn’t held someone’s hand in so long and it was nice. I like November nights, sometimes they still have an air of summer in them. You catch a warm breeze or the night sky isn’t cloudy and the moon and stars make it brighter like a summer’s night. “You know we have this friend, her names Priya. She’s socially anxious. She wasn’t always like that but something happened to her last year and now she can’t even look people in the eyes. She’s so lovely though. She’s the one who helped me with platonicism- I mean I always lived like it, but she put it into words. So she made it real I guess. Sometimes we go to her room and cuddle with her, like when we’re stressed about exams or assignments. She hardly speaks and she shakes when you touch her but soon she stops”. Outside Lie’s building we hugged and she held my face with both hands and kissed me, “platonic…you are cool with it right? You don’t think I’m weird do you?” I laughed a little, it was funny for her to be asking me that question, but I guess she didn’t see that, “I do think you’re weird, but I like weird. Normal scares me, so stay weird”. Her smile after I said that was burning into my brain as I walked back to my new home. I wondered if she thought I was weird, most people usually do. I was so happy to have made new friends though, especially cool ones who know about abandoned buildings and aren’t afraid of ghosts, and who carry strange liquid in a hipflask in their boxers and ones who carry around Harry Potter books and ones who play spin the bottle and ones who kiss and hold hands platonically and ones who accepted me for no reason whatsoever. I couldn’t help but smile as I unlocked my door and got into bed.

  That night I had a dream. I dreamt that Lie was in my bed smiling that smile she left me with as I talked to her about music and she told me about her theories on life. My sister came into the room and asked if I had seen dad. I said no and she said good. Lie asked her if she wanted to cuddle with us, and she did.

  2

  I woke up early the next morning to spend the day unpacking the rest of my things and I noticed a piece of paper had been pushed under my door. THE LIBRARY was typed in small print; I had no idea what it meant. I decided to unpack my books and then head over to the library, maybe my new friends wanted to meet there or something. I arranged my books in order of size on the top shelf by my desk, but there wasn’t space for Less Than Zero, so I left it under my bed.

  Walking up to the library there was a huge crowd, it must have been everyone- well everyone who stayed on campus on the weekends- and as the library came into sight I could see why. Everyone must have got a piece of paper under their doors. High on the front wall, someone had somehow painted ‘TantalusKnows.tumblr.com’ in red paint. I don’t like big crowds, especially the ones full of strangers so I headed back to my little room of solace. I didn’t want to go on the website, but I did, its just the strange compulsion to know what everyone else knows. A black screen filled the window and words started to appear one letter at a time, as though someone was actually typing them live:

  Will Wiseman cheated on Billie Doughty, his girlfriend of two years with three different girls. He kissed May Fumier on the same night he took Billie’s virginity. He said ‘I will always love you’ to her.

  Eventually the letters faded and a video began to play. I suppose it was of Will Wiseman, he was telling a girl he loved her and how special she was, I suppose it was his girlfriend. Under the video more words began to appear: More Secrets Will Bleed.

  It would
appear someone has taken it upon themselves to reveal this guy’s secrets, or maybe they don’t just mean his secrets, but everyone else’s. This is why I don’t like schools- everyone’s crazy and just out to make everyone crazier than them. I don’t have a lot of secrets anyway, I’m fine and no one knows me here, so no one cares about my secrets. Secrets are pointless, what’s the point of lying to people? That’s what I learnt- if you cant be the real you with someone, they aren’t being the real them, and the whole thing is just fake and meaningless. None of this means anything to me anyway.

  After I got through the majority of my unpacking, there was a knock at my door and Lie stood on the other side of it wearing another oversized jumper, this time black and the same black jeans. She wanted to show me around town because she was going there to buy some things. I did not know ‘some things’ meant underwear but I have to say, I wasn’t complaining. She would try on these matching bras and panties (I hate saying that) and ask me my honest opinion. She really had a great body under that big jumper. I wonder what its like to be a girl, and have to wear that kind of underwear. I wonder if they all feel the same or if they all felt different. Guys don’t have the variety, and to