Shadow of Love Read online

  She put her arms around his neck and chuckled. Just lucky, I guess.

  He carried her to his bedroom and laid her on the bed. Then he lay down beside her.

  You can have your dessert anytime, banjo man.

  Jim played with her in his gentle way. She reciprocated and initiated in her gentle way. They had love-making between them down to a fine art. And then that very magic moment arrived and he was in her. Oh, my dear God, Jim breathed.

  ---

  Jim was alone and he was on the Internet. He typed paranormal into the search engine's search line. A list of sites scrolled down the screen. Hmm. He went to various sites and looked for something, anything, that might give him some clue as to what he and Mary might be experiencing.

  He tried one search engine, then another, linking from one site to another, following threads that looked promising, changing direction when the threads led to a dead end. Before he realized it, it was time to turn in for the night.

  Now he heard a car pull into his driveway. He knew it was Mary. He greeted her at the door. Thought you were staying with your mother tonight?

  I had planned to, but I missed you so much I couldn't stand it. Should I have stayed away? she teased.

  Are you kidding? He kissed her and said, Let me shut down the computer.

  You don't have to do that. What are you working on? Before he could stop her, she was in his office. She glared at the screen. What the heck is this? Psychometric? Telepathy? She gave him an I-can't-believe-this look. Out-of-body experiences? Have you lost your mind? I suppose that you think the whole world is slowly being taken over by aliens, as well?

  I was just . . . just . . . yeah, it's silly. I was just looking around.

  You shouldn't poison your mind with all this nonsense, Jim. You're wasting your time. I'm surprised you would even look at something like this.

  Why was she so angry with him?

  Shut it off, she commanded.

  Okay. Jim reached for the mouse, but Mary grabbed it first.

  I'll shut it off for you. It makes me angry just to see that stuff up there. The Net is crowded enough without all that nonsense up there. That's what slows everything down, you know, she said angrily.

  Mary, I've never seen you even close to this angry. What have I done?

  You've wasted your time! That's what you've done!

  I . . . I won't go to those sites anymore if it upsets you this much. I didn't know . . .

  Damned right you didn't know! I don't know why I came here tonight. I'm going home.

  Mary, please, we can talk this out, can't we?

  No, we can't. I'm going home. She spun her chair around and headed for the front door.

  Mary, damn it, will you stop and talk to me?

  No. She looked at him steadily. Open the damned door for me.

  He stood, frozen in his tracks.

  Fine, I'll do it myself. She jerked open the door and was gone.

  Jim sat down, stunned. He got up and went to the refrigerator and pulled out a can of root beer, then drank half the can in two swallows. When he set the can down, the remaining soda splashed out the top. Damn, he muttered under his breath, this has got to be resolved. He went into the garage and started his car. He didn't know how much rubber he left on the garage floor when he backed out, nor did her care.

  When he arrived at Mary's house he was relieved to see her van in the driveway. At least he wouldn't have to go looking for her. Mary? he called as he knocked on the door. Mary, let's talk. Let's not leave it like this. Let's talk, he said through the door. The door opened. Katherine, I have to talk to Mary. Katherine stepped aside and let him in. Where is she? he asked.

  Katherine smiled. She's in her bedroom, pouting.

  Jim walked through the hallway until he came to Mary's room. He tapped on the door.

  Go away, a petulant voice said. Just go the hell away.

  Please let me come in, Mary. You know we can resolve this.

  There was silence on the other side of the door.

  You're acting like a spoiled brat, he said. Jim jerked away from the door as Mary threw something against it. All right, light of my life, that's enough of that stuff. He opened the door and walked in.

  I don't want you in here, she said.

  Too bad. I'm already in.

  Mary put her head down. Jim walked to her and got down on his knees in front of her. Let's take a ride, he whispered.

  I'm too mad. I'm not going to drive us around while I'm mad.

  I'm going to drive, Jim said calmly.

  You can't drive my van. It's set up for my wheelchair and it's cross linked and you can't drive my van.

  I don't intend to drive your van, he said patiently. You're going to ride in my 'vette.

  No, she said angrily, teeth clenched.

  You've never ridden in it, Mary.

  I can't ride in conventional cars. You already know this.

  No, I don't know this. You've told me this before, but right now we're going to find out if your ridiculous claim is true. He picked her up in his arms.

  Put me down, oaf! How dare you? Put me down.

  I'm not going to do any such thing. Katherine, he called, would you please clear the way?

  When he came out with Mary in his arms, Katherine was grinning. Oh, I suppose you think this if funny, Mary said. I suppose you think this is hilarious. I'm so glad you're having a wonderful time at my expense.

  Jim walked out the front door and down the ramp with her. Katherine, follow me and help me with the door, would you please?

  Katherine opened the rider's side door and Jim put Mary on the seat. He stood back as if admiring his cleverness. Well, that seemed to work all right. He bent down and fastened her seat belt. Too snug?

  No . . . no, it's just fine. She looked at her mother. What am I going to do with him?

  Katherine looked directly into her eyes. You're going to love him, that's what you're going to do. She walked back into the house and closed the door behind her.

  Jim went around to the driver's side and got in. He started the car and slowly backed out of the driveway, not sure of how well Mary would ride without the supporting structure of her wheelchair. Are you all right? he asked.

  No, she whispered.

  Am I pushing you beyond your physical limitations? I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable.

  I know. I know, Jim. I'm so sorry. Sometimes I can be a brat.

  How 'bout a chocolate shake? We can split one.

  Sure. Why not?

  Jim drove through an all night fast food line and ordered a large chocolate shake with two straws. They took turns drinking the shake. Mary was silent. Finally she said, I like your car.

  Thanks. I knew you would, once I got you into it.

  It's a hot shot car. Fits you just fine.

  He looked at her and wiggled her seat belt as if he was testing its fit. Fits you fine, too. You just won't admit it.

  Mary sighed deeply. Don't ask me about the paranormal stuff. I don't want to get into it again.

  Why not?

  I love this car. This must be what the inside of a starship is like.

  Why not? he asked again.

  Mary gazed out the window. They were scooping the loop and teenage kids were walking the streets. Where are these kids' parents, I wonder?

  Jim drove onto a side street and parked along the curb. Talk to me, he quietly said. Talk to me, Sweetheart.

  I apologize for my ridiculous outburst. Again she looked out the window.

  Jim took her chin and gently turned her head to face him. Your outburst was unreasonable. There is a reason you were so upset. What is it?

  I can't say, she said. I really can't say.

  Jim leaned back against his seat. Mary, paranormal events are real. The reason some people think they're not real is because they don't look at it from the right perspective.

  Is this going to be one of your long lectures?

  Nope. I'll explain it quick. There are
laws of the universe that are beyond us right now. There is no magic; no hocus pocus. What appears to be magic is a phenomenon or event that behaves according to rules we don't yet understand. For example, I can find water with a pair of L-shaped wires. Is this magic? No. All living things are sensitive to the magnetic field of the earth. That's how birds migrate. We sense a disturbance in the field when water crosses it. When we search for water we don't think we turn the wires, but we do. That looks like magic, even to the person who's using the wires. I'll bet I was a real mucka muck hot shot water witcher in a previous life. He chuckled quietly.

  No doubt you were. I don't disbelieve paranormal events. I just can't bear to think about them. It's difficult to explain why, but I've always been this way. I lose control when someone even brings the subject up.

  Jim laughed. Maybe you were burned as a witch in a previous life.

  Mary's eyes brimmed with tears. Or maybe I wasn't a witch. Maybe I was as physically disabled as I am now. Maybe I had the same direct drive personality I have now and maybe I was misunderstood.

  What? You're talking as if you know this to be a fact, Jim said, astonished.

  Mary ignored his comment and continued, People like me were thought to be cursed. Sometimes the clergy put the mark of the devil on us. We were ostracized-turned out from the clan. We were left to survive on our own. We had no family, no friends, no intimate relationship, nowhere to go, no hope, no peace, no . . .

  Stop, Mary. He took her by her shoulders. Please stop this kind of talk.

  Mary looked at him, dazed now.

  I'm taking you home.

  I . . . I don't want to sleep at Mother's house tonight, Jim.

  Then will you come home with me? Maybe you'll feel better in my bed than in yours. He kissed her on the forehead. I want you to know that whatever haunted you in the past can't hurt you now. Do you believe that? He looked into her eyes. The car interior was dark, save for a streetlight close by, but he could imagine her beautiful face. No one will hurt you, Mary. Please believe that.

  Chapter Six

  Jim felt safe in his bed, and he knew it was Mary's presence that made him feel this way. It wasn't her physical strength he required. It was her emotional strength. It was her honesty. And now she was confiding in him-fully accepting him into her life.

  Mary gently rubbed his cheek. I'm caught between two worlds, Jim. I live in the world of the disabled. Now that you've come along, I'm living in the world of the able bodied. I would give just about anything to leave my disabled world behind-anything. You can't imagine how frustrated I am. I was so safe in my own world before you came into my life. I knew who I was and I knew what my limitations were. I lived within those limitations, and . . .

  Honey, Jim interrupted, we all fight limitations of one kind or another.

  Let me finish. This is difficult for me to talk about. Please let me finish.

  All right, he said. I'm sorry, go ahead.

  I live within those limitations, and it's becoming increasingly more difficult to do this.

  I would think that the deep love we have for one another would ease your difficulties.

  It does, Sweetheart. I'm very happy with you. I didn't think I could ever be this happy. But there are times when my heart aches because I'm restricted to this wheelchair. I want you to have a normal life; a normal wife.

  This is the most normal life I've ever had-with you. If I wouldn't have you, I'd be off running in a dozen different directions, trying to impress the world. I don't want to hear you put yourself down like this, Mary. You're way above this kind of talk. You scare me when you talk like this.

  Do I? I'm not trying to scare you. I'm not going to back out of our wedding, if that's what you're thinking. I love you so much that I can't possibly hope to have any kind of happiness without you. I just wanted to share my pain with you. It's not fair to you, but . . .

  It is fair, Mary. That's what love is all about. It doesn't always go smoothly. Sometimes I'm sure it's even disappointing. But then, I'm no expert; I've never been in love before.

  Jim, you must have had dozens of girls before you met me.

  No, not really. I had friends, and we'd go out, but they weren't even in your league, Sweetheart.

  I'll bet you tell that to all the girls.

  Jim pulled her to him. I will never let you go. The only way we would ever dissolve this relationship is if you broke it off. Please don't even entertain that idea.

  All right, she said, I won't. I want to go to sleep now. We can talk more tomorrow.

  ---

  She put her thumb under her shoulder harness and ran it up and down.

  Don't be nervous, Mary.

  How can I help but be nervous? I'm being thrown headlong into the world of the able-bodied.

  Jim chuckled. I wouldn't exactly call going to Matt's party as being thrown headlong into the world of the able-bodied. You'll be fine once you are introduced to a few people.

  Will I? You'll introduce me to your former girl friends and they'll look down at me, sitting in my wheelchair, and they will pity you. They'll think, 'Poor Jim; he was certainly desperate this time around, wasn't he? How can this crippled woman possibly take my place?' That's what they'll say.

  They won't think any such thing. You're just nervous.

  Wouldn't you be if your fiancee had to carry you into the house? What a grand entrance I'm about to make.

  Yes. Jim smiled. What a grand entrance.

  He pulled the Corvette into the driveway. Then he dialed his cell phone to alert Matt they had arrived and were coming in. Jim picked Mary up and started across the yard. He felt terror in her, but knew he could do nothing to help her. Matt came out and took Mary's fold-up wheelchair out of the trunk.

  Lots of people in there, you guys. I'm glad you came. He went up the steps ahead of them and unfolded Mary's chair when he got inside. Once done, Jim set Mary in it. Follow me, Mary, Matt said. We're all in the rec room.

  Hello, everyone? Jim said warmly. He felt his own nervousness now-nervousness for his bride-to-be.

  The guests greeted Mary as if there was no wheel chair, but Jim felt for her. Maybe coming to this party wasn't such a good idea. Jim felt Mary cringe. Everybody, he said, I'd like you all to meet my fiancee, Mary Kerrigan.

  A murmur of hellos and pleased to meet yous dribbled into the air.

  Jim sat down. A young man named Ben said, Glad you two came. We've been hearing a lot about you, Mary. He smiled at Mary in a welcoming way.

  Jim stayed close by Mary as the evening progressed. The guests all knew each other, and he knew this group of his friends, although kind and warm, was difficult for Mary to embrace and feel comfortable with. Suddenly, late in the evening, Jim knew that Mary had had enough. Her discomfort vanished before his eyes as Mary casually said, Say, anybody have a quarter?

  A young, beautiful woman named Cindy who was a former friend of Jim's, said, Sure. She flipped Mary a quarter.

  Mary handed the quarter back to Cindy. No, I don't want to touch the quarter. I'm going to show you something that will absolutely astound you. She looked at Jim as if she was going in for the kill. Jim literally held his breath. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling something great, or strange, or both was about to happen.

  Flip the quarter, Mary ordered. Cindy flipped it, caught it on the back of her hand, and quickly covered it. Tails, Mary said.

  Cindy uncovered it and said, It's tails. She showed it the rest of them.

  Flip it again. The coin spun into the air. Tails.

  A low 'Ooooo' came from Matt. Lucky girl, he said, mirth in his voice.

  Flip it again . . . heads. Again . . . tails . . . Again . . . heads. Mary had called it right everytime.

  The guests were beginning to pay attention now. Does anyone else want to try? Mary asked. She looked at them.

  Ben pulled a quarter from his pocket. Me. I want to try.

  Jim looked over at Mary. 'How do you do that?' he mouthed.

  Mary
smiled. This time, Ben, I will tell you whether it's heads or tails before you flip it.

  A series of ahhs and genuine wows spilled forth. When you flip the coin, you will get heads. Ben flipped the quarter and let it land on the carpet. It was heads. The next flip will again be heads. Heads showed up on the carpet. The next flip will be

  heads . . .

  Wait, Matt said gleefully, she's really pushing the rules of probability now.

  Jim was sweating. His beautiful woman was mesmerizing these people. She was mesmerizing him.

  Fourteen times in a row Mary called heads before Ben flipped the quarter, and fourteen times in a row the quarter came up heads. Does anyone else want to try? Mary asked.

  Uh, Jim said, I want to try.

  Naw, Matt said, you two may be working together on this. Let me try.

  Fine, Matthew, Mary said. You can try. But this time I'm going to tell you what the next three sides will be in advance.

  No, five sides in advance, someone said. No, another said, ten sides in advance.

  Wait, wait. Mary was clearly in control now. The room fell silent. I will predict the sides twenty five times in advance. Would that satisfy all of you that I have extraordinary paranormal powers? She looked at Jim and smiled very warmly. Jim's mouth was hanging open. She predicted accurately all twenty five sides. Her audience sat, stunned into silence.

  Matthew, do you have a deck of cards? Mary asked.

  Matt fumbled with a drawer in an end table and handed her the cards from it. She handed them back. Matthew, show our audience that all the cards are different.

  Matt spread the cards, face up, on the coffee table.

  Turn them all face down now.

  Matt did as he was told.

  Mary looked at Jim. Matthew, you will choose the two of hearts.

  Matt looked at the deck and started to reach for a card.

  Wait, Mary said. I forgot to tell you. I want all of you to agree on what card to choose.

  How was she doing this? Jim wondered. His heart was hammering from excitement. The rest of the group happily squabbled among themselves until they decided which card to choose.

  Who would like to turn the card over?