William Wallace And All That Read online

  Margaret was just a little girl, and the Scots were worried that having her as queen would make the country easy for invaders to attack. It would also make it more likely that the Scots would quarrel among themselves.

  So somebody hit on the bright idea of asking King Edward ‘the Longshanks’ next door in England to come and help decide what to do next. England was a rich and powerful kingdom, with at least three times as many people in it as Scotland. That made Longshanks one of the most respected kings in Europe, so it seemed to make sense to ask him for advice.

  The Scots didn’t realise yet that Longshanks was actually a scheming villain, who wanted to build an English empire to rule over Scotland and make the Scots his slaves. But they would soon find out.

  Longshanks, who was nicknamed Longshanks because of his long legs (‘shank’ is an old word for the bit of leg between your knee and your foot), at first pretended to be nice and helpful. He suggested marrying little Margaret to his eldest son, Prince Edward, to keep relations between the two countries friendly. Of course, the English king kept secret his real plan, which was to use the marriage to seize control of Scotland and make it a part of England.

  But before she could be lured into Longshanks’ trap, poor wee Margaret was struck by tragedy in 1290, while she was being taken across the North Sea from Norway to Scotland. Even though Margaret’s boat crossed the water safely, the voyage was very long and conditions on her ship were very bad by today’s standards. She became seriously ill and didn’t survive the journey.

  To lose one monarch may be regarded as a misfortune. But to lose two seems like carelessness. In the space of four short years, Alexander had bitten the dust – okay, sand – and Margaret had died before she could blow out the candles on her eighth birthday cake.

  What would the Scots do now?

  3

  Longshanks the villain

  The Scots hadn’t a clue what to do, so they turned again to Longshanks. This was a disaster, especially for you and me because it makes the next bit of the story quite complicated.

  Trouble was, the Scots now had no direct heir to the throne. Instead, loads of people began claiming the throne was theirs – but only one could become king. So the Scots needed Longshanks to help decide who should be crowned before a huge row erupted. Longshanks agreed to judge a competition for the crown, provided England was allowed to look after Scotland’s affairs until the winner was picked.

  No sooner had the Scots agreed to this than the penny began to drop with them that Longshanks was up to no good. Before the competition was over, he started tightening his grip on Scotland. He demanded that castles were handed over to English control and pushed Scots out of important jobs, replacing them with his cronies from England. The Scots protested but Longshanks insisted all this was for their own good.

  However, when a kind of English police force took control of Scotland, they soon started rubbing locals up the wrong way. Arguments broke out. Then scuffles. Then riots.

  Now, I know what you’re thinking: this is where Wallace comes crashing back into the story. Well, almost. His dad got into a fight with the English at a place called Loudoun Hill in Ayrshire.

  According to one report, Wallace’s dad had his legs almost cut off by an English knight called Fenwick. But Wallace senior refused to give in, and carried on fighting on his knees. Wallace’s dad probably had a few other bits chopped off him before he finally said to Fenwick and his followers something like ‘Okay, you win. But I’ll get you next time!’

  Unfortunately, Wallace’s dad never got the chance – the story goes that he was skewered to death there and then by English spears. Young Wallace must have been devastated when he discovered what had happened . . . and very, very angry.

  After a while, the riots across Scotland calmed down a bit and some kind of peace was restored. For now.

  Eventually, in 1292, Longshanks picked a winner in the competition for the crown – a nobleman called John Balliol. But Balliol barely had time to try the crown on for size before Longshanks began bossing him about and treating the Scots as his slaves.

  The last straw came when Longshanks demanded that the Scots follow him into a war against France. The Scots had no quarrel with the French, and saw no good reason for starting a fight with them. So they refused.

  When Longshanks found out, he went berserk. In 1296, he gathered his army in Newcastle, near the English border with Scotland, and prepared for an invasion.

  In response, every Scotsman was ordered to take up arms to defend the kingdom. Scotland was about to begin its War of Independence!

  4

  Scotland gets squashed

  For a while, the Scots and English eyed each other, waiting for someone to make the first move. The trouble started when Robert de Ros, an Englishman living near the border, apparently decided he wanted to marry a Scottish lass.

  It could have been a match made in Heaven – but de Ros’ family didn’t see it that way. As far as they were concerned, de Ros had turned against his own folk and sided with the enemy. Worse still, he planned to let the Scots use his castle as a base to attack the English.

  De Ros’ relatives were having none of it. They asked Longshanks to send some soldiers north with orders to turn the black sheep of their family into mutton.

  Unfortunately for the English soldiers, the Scots saw them coming – just like lambs to the slaughter. Long-shanks’ henchmen were ambushed and killed.

  So did this nasty little episode make the two sides realise that violence was not the way to settle things?

  Of course it didn’t. By now, everybody was itching for a fight. So Longshanks unleashed his bloodthirsty troops on the border town of Berwick.

  Berwick was a very important Scottish seaport, overflowing with riches. It was where ships loaded with cargo sailed to and from ports across the North Sea, making it a lifeline between Scotland and the rest of Europe. Until, that is, Longshanks’ army turned up.

  By the time the English were finished there, Berwick was just a ghost town. Around twenty thousand Scots had been slaughtered, and Scotland’s lifeline to Europe was cut off.

  Once all of the Scots bodies were dumped in the sea or thrown in huge pits, Edward immediately began rebuilding Berwick.

  Then Longshanks rolled his army north to Dunbar. But the Scots had been roused into action by Longshanks’ barbarity in Berwick, and were ready to put up a fight.

  A Scottish army turned up at Dunbar Castle, where the garrison were under siege by the English. The Scots in the castle reckoned the tables were about to be turned against their attackers and began jeering at them.

  When people wanted to be nasty to the English in those days, it was common to joke that they had tails. So the Scots began waving their banners and shouting at their foes: ‘Tailed dogs, we will cut your tails off!’

  But the English had the last laugh, after they outwitted and then splattered the approaching Scottish army. You can imagine what the Scots inside the castle might have said now: ‘Er, we were only joking about the tails. Please don’t kill us!’ Fat chance.

  What the Scots needed now was a king who was smart and strong enough to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Unfortunately, Balliol wasn’t that kind of king.

  Instead, Balliol chickened out and surrendered in July 1296. He was hauled before Longshanks at Montrose, south of Aberdeen, and forced to resign as monarch.

  Longshanks grabbed Balliol and ripped the Scottish king’s royal crest from his jacket, or tabard, throwing it to the floor.

  After that, Balliol was nicknamed Toom Tabard, which meant ‘empty jacket’ or, in other words, ‘king nobody’. He was thrown into an English jail, although he was later allowed to go and live in France.

  In the meantime, Scotland was kingless (again). To show that he was now in charge, Longshanks went to Perth and stole the Stone of Scone. The Scots were horrified.

  But what was so important about a stone, which to those not in the know sounds like something you sp
read butter and jam on? Well, here are some clues:

  ROCK-HARD FACTS AND CRUMBLY MYTHS ABOUT THE STONE OF SCONE

  1 What is it made from? To some people it might sound like a cake that’s been left in the oven too long, but the Stone of Scone was made of rock.

  2 Why is it important? Since the beginning of history, Scottish rulers sat on the stone during a special coronation ceremony to become king. (Try sitting on a fruit scone and you’ll realise why the stone had to be made of real rock!)

  3 Why is it called the Stone of Scone? It’s named after a place near Perth called Scone, where the coronation ceremonies took place. Of course, the correct way to say Scone isn’t the same as the cake you have with tea. Instead, stick your lips out in an ‘Oooh’ shape and say ‘Scooooon!’

  4 Does it have any other names? It is also known as the Stone of Destiny.

  5 Why did Longshanks want it? He wanted it in order to show he was the ultimate ruler of Scotland, and to make sure nobody else could become King of Scots without his permission.

  6 So where did he take it? Longshanks took the stone to Westminster and hid it under his throne, where it was stored for seven hundred years until it was officially returned to Scotland in 1996. It is now in Edinburgh Castle.

  7 What is it worth? If it’s the real Stone of Scone, it’s priceless. But it might actually be a fake! Some people believe Longshanks was tricked, and the lump of yellow sandstone rock he stole wasn’t really the Stone of Destiny.

  8 So what did Longshanks steal, then? Apparently, he was given the stone lid of the toilet used by monks at Scone Abbey and assured it was the genuine article.

  9 Does that means the real Stone of Scone is still waiting to be discovered? Perhaps. Some people believe the real stone is made of marble and was originally used as a (not very comfy) pillow.

  Whether Longshanks stole the real Stone of Scone, or just the lid of the monks’ toilet, he certainly made a stink in Scotland.

  When the English king returned to his headquarters at Berwick, he set up a new English government to rule over Scotland. He ordered all Scots to swear loyalty to him and pay their taxes to England.

  Scottish landowners were made to sign a document called the Ragman Roll, promising that they would do as they were told from now on – or be outlawed. And if an outlaw was caught, they usually became a dead outlaw.

  The Scots were now well and truly English slaves. The English controlled their land, their money and their freedom. All Scots had to obey English orders at all times. But can you guess who refused to do as he was told?

  5

  Wallace rises up

  As we have discovered, Wallace probably had loads of reasons for hating Longshanks and the English rulers of Scotland by now. So there was no way Wallace was going to be an English slave. Instead, he hit back.

  Many other Scots wanted to do the same. So when they began hearing stories about the giant rebel William Wallace and his exploits, they started joining him. According to one report, Wallace learned of a strong but arrogant English soldier in the town of Ayr who would let you hit him across the back with a pole if you paid him a groat (four pence, but worth a lot more in those days).

  So Wallace gave the soldier three groats, then whacked him with the pole so hard he broke the soldier’s back.

  When the soldier’s friends tried to punish Wallace, he broke the neck of one and smashed another over the head with a heavy club called a cudgel. Then he took out his sword.

  Wallace sliced up another two soldiers before jumping on his horse and galloping off to the woods where he couldn’t be found.

  In a story about another bloody brawl with some English soldiers in Ayr, Wallace wasn’t so lucky. He was captured and carried off to a dungeon, where his enemies left him to starve.

  Wallace became very ill and slipped into a deep sleep. The English believed that their prisoner was dead, and took Wallace’s body from the dungeon and threw it onto a smelly dung heap.

  Wallace would have died for sure, except his friends heard about what happened and secretly took his body away. While they were cleaning all the muck off Wallace, they noticed his eyelids flickering and realised he wasn’t dead after all.

  Wallace’s survival was seen as a miracle, a bit like the resurrection of Jesus in the Bible. A famous old wise man called Thomas the Rhymer heard about Wallace’s miraculous recovery and predicted that Wallace would lead the Scots to freedom.

  Thomas the Rhymer was famous because people believed he had magical powers, which allowed him to see into the future. The old man had correctly predicted the death of Alexander III before it happened, so the Scots were sure he was also right about Wallace.

  When Wallace got better, it is said he wanted to make sure the friends who had rescued him were not put in any more danger. So he left them behind and set out for Glasgow, armed only with a rusty blade.

  Once Wallace was on the road, the story goes that he wore a disguise so nobody would recognise him. But he was met by an English officer and his two guards on highway patrol, who stopped him in his tracks. That was their first mistake.

  The Englishmen were wary of the disguised man. They thought he looked suspiciously like that big outlaw they had all been hearing about called Wallace, and wanted to take him back to Ayr. That was their second (and last) mistake.

  Wallace pulled out his rough weapon in an instant. He sawed through the officer’s throat, hacked off the head of one guard and then chased after the other – grabbing him and then ripping his stomach open so his guts spilled out all over the place. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

  The blood-soaked Wallace then helped himself to the dead men’s armour and horses – as well as their silver, which he would need to buy food and other supplies.

  After that, it seems there was no let-up of Wallace’s killing spree, so be warned: the next few pages are splattered with more blood and guts. Ugh!

  6

  Bloody revenge

  Remember Fenwick, the knight who killed Wallace’s dad? So did Wallace. According to one story, Wallace found out that Fenwick and a large troop of English soldiers were escorting a treasure chest filled with Scottish silver and gold through Ayrshire.

  So Wallace decided to take his revenge by ambushing Fenwick at Loudoun Hill – the very place where the English knight had reportedly killed his father.

  Helped by a growing band of loyal followers, Wallace pounced on Fenwick and his men. Fenwick tried to skewer Wallace with his lance, but Wallace jumped out of the way and then sliced through the straps attaching Fenwick’s saddle to his horse.

  The English knight toppled to the ground, and was stabbed to death by one of Wallace’s companions. With their leader Fenwick finished off, those English knights and foot-soldiers that hadn’t been killed already fled away in panic.

  When news of Wallace’s success spread across the country, the Scots were impressed. Wallace proved that a small band of Scots could take on a much larger force of heavily armoured English knights and men-at-arms – and win. According to reports, he shared out his loot among his followers, and people began to think of him as a real-life Robin Hood. Or rather a very, very bloodthirsty Robin Hood.

  As Wallace’s fame grew, the reports of his adventures became more and more gruesome. After all, he lived in barbaric times, especially since Scotland and England were not the good neighbours they are now.

  Of course, if anyone behaved like that today they would be punished and locked up in prison forever. But because of the times he lived in, it’s pretty clear that Wallace had no choice but to deal with his problems the old-fashioned way – he hacked, slashed and sliced his way through them.

  All of Wallace’s hacking, slashing and slicing made the English desperate to catch him. So it was important for Wallace to have lots of hiding places.

  The forests that ran thick all around Lanarkshire, Ayr-shire and the Borders had endless nooks and crannies that Wallace and his men squeezed into. And there were caves, too, where nobody could find Walla
ce in the darkness.

  Most of the forests are long gone today, although if you go to places like Selkirk Forest, which still has thick patches of woodland, you can imagine Wallace and his merry men creeping through the undergrowth on their way to whack one of their enemies. And there are other hideouts that you can still visit, like Wallace’s Cave near Coalburn in Lanarkshire.

  Striking out from these secret places, Wallace and his band of outlaws scored a string of victories against much larger English forces, at places like Shortwood and Queens-berry. He also drove the English out of many important castles.

  But Wallace was still an outlaw, and not yet a commander who could lead a proper Scottish army against the English. Then something appears to have happened to change all that. Wallace fell in love . . .

  7

  No turning back

  After having a few girlfriends, it seems that Wallace decided to settle down and marry a girl called Mirren Braidfute. We are told that the couple had a daughter, some time in the Spring of 1297.

  Young Wallace apparently fell in love with Mirren after he first clapped eyes on her near the town of Lanark, at St Kentigern’s Church, which is today a romantic ruin. It seems that Mirren felt the same way about Wallace and soon began helping him by letting his men hide out in her house.

  The trouble was, Wallace apparently wasn’t the only man who fancied Mirren. The story goes that the fearsome English sheriff of Lanark wanted to marry her to his son. (Parents were always interfering in their children’s lives, even in Wallace’s day.)

  By the way, the name of the sheriff should sound familiar from the start of our story . . . William Heselrig. Heselrig must have been hopping mad when he found out that Mirren had married Wallace, who in his view was a gangster and rebel.