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  "How so?"

  "We both had more urgent matters to deal with than to introduce ourselves at the time." His smirk suddenly turned grim.

  Gaspard looked around the room, now trying to clear the images in his head of what all had happened before and after he woke up the first time in the castle. The room was dark like the common room, but lit enough to not strain the eyes. He lay across a sofa, while Gabriel sat comfortably in a chair on the other side of the room.

  "Are you feeling any stronger?"

  "A little."

  "Here, drink this." Gabriel swiftly got up from his chair and handed him a cup full of a dark red liquid.

  Gaspard repositioned himself and took the cup warily. He sniffed it; it smelled delicious to him. He took a small sip before he gulped the rest down eagerly. "What is this?" he sighed after drinking the cup dry. "It tastes like nothing I have ever tasted before…"

  "Satisfying, yes?"

  Gaspard nodded once, feeling life start to flow within him again. Then the thought of what was previously in the cup hit him.

  Blood.

  It was blood he had just drank like a man parched thirsts for water. The very thought of it sickened him now. How could he drink blood? And most of all, eagerly? "Oh, God...," he whispered and dropped the cup.

  "You might as well start comprehending what that is."

  Gaspard put his hands to his head. "What is becoming of me?" "What becomes of us all after we are bitten by a vampire and live; consumers of blood." Gabriel picked up the cup and put it on the side table. He then walked over to the window and stared out into the trees while continuing. "It sickens some of us at first, but it is only mental. You only think that blood is nasty. Though, really it is the most nourishing liquid there is."

  A sudden thought came to Gaspard as he remembered his dream again. "What happened? Why am I in here?" He asked none too calmly.

  "You fell into a trance. It happens to us when we are overly thirsty or our bodies are too weak. It is the way we regain our strength without blood. It won't suffice you very long and nor does it give back all your strength. But it helps for the time being."

  "My necklace," he quickly felt around his neck. To his utter relief, it was still there.

  "Don't worry, no one will take it from you."

  "Why was Lucas so interested in it?"

  Gabriel glanced back at him. "Somehow you came across an emblem of someone's he used to know."

  "That doesn't make any sense.. How could I?"

  "I don't know."

  Gaspard starred at him in disbelief. "How late is it?"

  "More like early. It is now morning. You've been lying there all night."

  "What?!" He quickly jumped up from the sofa and looked out the window. The sun was just rising. "I need to get back to the mansion!" He rushed towards the door, but just as he reached it he stopped and looked down. "How..." He tried to form the words that have been lingering on his mind since his change, "how am I supposed to return like this?"

  "Listen to me," Gabriel walked over to Gaspard and sighed. "Normally I would not allow a fledging to leave the castle grounds so soon after being bitten, but it is inevitable for now. You can blend in with humans. It’s not impossible. Others might hardly notice anything different about you. But if you grow hungry, try to avoid them at all costs." He gave Gaspard a moment to let that sink in. "But you must return here once the sun sets every night. Make sure no one sees or follows you."

  "Why?" he brought his gaze back on him. One of his hands was pressed against the door while the other was in a fist at his side.

  "I have arranged training sessions for you. It will help you understand and come into what you are."

  "What if I don't want to be what I am?" he asked heatedly.

  "It’s too late, Gaspard. You are what you are now. All I can do is help you through it. Alright?"

  Gaspard didn't want this. Why couldn't he still be human? He would rather be dead than live as what he is, or rather becoming. "Yeah," he said, the word full of anger and sadness.

  "Okay," he sighed and opened the door for him. He followed behind him and then led him out of the castle.

  "How do I find my way to the mansion?" Gaspard asked when he reached the stairs that descended to the stoned walkway outside. The sun was just starting to peak over the trees.

  Gabriel pointed in a direction through the woods. "That is all you need to know." He glanced up at the sky, squinting. "You may want to clean yourself up before you return, or at least, think up a damn good story."

  Gaspard wished he could have comprehended that as funny, but it only filled him more with grief. He looked down at his shirt. It had stains of dried blood and was torn in many places.

  "I would give you something of mine to wear, but they would notice."

  "It’s alright. I'll think of something."

  "Remember to not reveal yourself. Keep a low profile."

  He nodded and made his way to the edge of the forest. When he looked back Gabriel was gone.

  Gaspard found his way back to the Roux Mansion with ease because of his new heightened senses. The castle was a few miles south into the forest. It laid hidden deep into the woods of Paris. If he was still human, there would have been no chance of him ever finding his way back through the thick trees that seemed to go on for leagues. He ran most of the way- faster than he had ever run before. He was going over triple the speed he used to be able to run. He only braked once when he had a feeling of déjà vu. He stopped and looked around him with his jaw clenched tight. Everything was too familiar: the sounds of leaves rustling high up in the trees by the wind, birds chirping, the streams flowing and fish jumping down the small falls, landing in calmer water. The last time he was running through this forest was when he was being chased by some kind of human resembling monsters. Only now he knew what they were: blood-sucking vampires. And now, he was one of them too.

  He walked over to the stream he had favored. He bent down and cupped a handful of water, wondering if it would still taste the same. He sipped it warily. Just as it touched his taste buds, he spat it out forcefully, disgusted by the lack of flavor. It tasted so dull and even though he didn't swallow, it sickened his stomach. He sighed heavily and looked down at the water. The ripples had cleared and he was now staring at his reflection. He could hardly believe what his eyes were seeing. He was always rather pale, but now his skin looked like it had been frozen. It shimmered lightly as the sun glinted off of it. His cheek bones were sharper and his chest and arms were harder and more muscular. But his features were not the only thing that shocked him. There wasn't a scrape on him anymore. The cuts and bruises the beating from Lucas left were no longer there. Some dried blood just below his bottom lip and eyebrow still remained. He rinsed his hands and scrubbed it off his eyebrow first and then his lip, careful not to get any of the water into his mouth again.

  After he had cleaned himself up a little (clearly to not much use), he leaned back against a tree. He cringed at the thought of his last memory as a full human. He thought about his desperate attempt at finding a way up the mountain to escape from his attackers, which was nearly impossible. He almost laughed at his memory of that. He remembered his shoulder being broken as he crashed to the ground from a side attack, but that had miraculously healed after he was bitten as well. He then thought of the reason why he was running for his life in the first place. He over-saw the murder of his best friend by these monsters. Elijh came perfectly to Gaspard's mind. It felt like he had photographic memory. But when he pictured Elijh, he wished he didn't. He could see the pain and suffering of what he went through. It was a death of no regret to his murderers, but he wanted more than anything to have his best friend standing at his side again. He'd offer his own life in place if he could just bring him back. Maybe if I had shown myself instead of being a coward, Elijh would still be alive, he thought. I could have distracted them. But, it was too late now. Nothing could change the past. And no one can bring back the dead. Not even a
vampire.

  Gaspard sighed and pushed away the images and thoughts he had been pondering over, and then began running at full speed again with a new determination. He was almost to the mansion's grounds and wondered if anyone noticed his (and Elijh's) absence. What should I say to them if anyone asks me? Will they believe me if I lie? Most of all, will Jocelyn?

  He could hear distant voices coming from up ahead. They had a tone of urgency and wonder. He now saw the mansion's silhouette and slowed down to a jog. He could see people moving around and some searching the outer woods, careful not to go too far. They were probably afraid of getting lost or disappearing without a trace like the other workers. Including myself, he thought.

  He looked around to see if he could find Jocelyn. But she was nowhere in sight. He sighed and said, "Here goes," as he stepped out into the grounds of the mansion with the sun shining bright, no longer obscured by the trees.

  "There you are! They are back everyone!" A servant called out.

  "Oh! Thank heavens!" Jocelyn rushed over to where everyone else had come to make a half circle around Gaspard. She had never been so glad to see him before, or anyone for that matter. She wanted so much to wrap her arms around him and never let him go, but stopped herself. Why was she thinking like this?

  Gaspard looked around warily as he was noticed. A familiar scent rushed over him like a hundred arrows had struck him. He could see the veins filled of blood flowing though their bodies. Never had he imagined something could smell so good. He felt his fangs start to peak out under his top lip, and quickly shut his mouth as tight as possible and looked away.

  "Where have you been?" Jocelyn asked with relief. Then a sudden thought came to her. "Where's... Elijh?" She looked around with her eyes.

  Gaspard sighed. "Elijh went missing. I set out to look for him"

  "Oh no," Jocelyn put her hand to her mouth. Not Elijh too, she thought sorrowfully. She tried not to let her emotions get the best of her, but couldn't stop the water building up in her eyes. Her eyes were sparkling in the sunlight. Noticing this, Gaspard had lost his course of thought and was just staring amazingly at her, like it was the first time he had ever seen her. She still looked like Jocelyn to him, but at the same time someone totally different. She was even more beautiful than his human eyes could have ever perceived before. Every strand of her hairs’ hue shined brilliantly. Her spring green dress over her olive skin fused with her perfect curves making it look as if the dress was one with her. His hands were itching to touch her, to hold her, to see if she was real. He fought with himself to keep his arms at his sides.

  It had only been a few moments since Gaspard had seized talking, though time seemed to stand still. When Jocelyn removed her hand from over her mouth and returned her attention back to Gaspard, she saw him staring- deep in sentiment- at her like he could see through her clothes. She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. She was about to say something else, but couldn't find the words. Even though the strange disappearance of Elijh was still on her mind, she couldn't help but to look at Gaspard and wonder what he was thinking. His already breath-taking eyes looked as if they were made of glass; somehow filled with both suffering and passion. It marveled her.

  "So you couldn't find him?" asked the head grounds-keeper, stealing Jocelyn's question she seemed to not be able to ask. He was clearly both frantic and irritated.

  Gaspard moved his eyes away from her reluctantly and then down at the ground. "I searched the woods most of the night. There is no sign of him anywhere," stating it so low and mournful, the few that were still standing around had to cock their ears closer to hear the last sentence. They all looked frightened out of their wits at his words, knowing all too well that Elijh had disappeared mysteriously like the other previous workers. What had happened to them? And what if they were next? It would only be a matter of time before they would be abducted, murdered, or gone mad for all they knew.

  "My god! I'll be damned if I am next! We need to think of a way to prevent this!" A middle-aged servant spoke out. The others nodded. Paranoia rushing over them as they talked strategy.

  "That's enough! We all know that already. Stop panicking and get back to work- all of you." The other workers, mostly kitchen boys and house servants, scattered hurriedly back to the mansion. Gaspard was thankful most of them had left. The scent of blood wasn't nearly as strong anymore now- so much more bearable. The head groundskeeper sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead. "You have quite a bit of work to catch up on," he pointed to Gaspard.

  "I would like Gaspard to have the rest of the day off…If that won't be a problem?" Jocelyn asked.

  He lifted an eyebrow. "Well, I suppose he can. But the animals need tending to. They have already missed their breakfast."

  "I'll take care of them. Thank you."

  "No, I don't mind. I would like to have something to do... to keep my mind occupied." Gaspard spoke gravely.

  "You need to rest." Jocelyn understood, but thought it would be better for him to get some sleep after all he had been through.

  Rest? With a sudden realization, he didn't feel fatigued at all. He began to wonder if he would ever again. "I don't think I could sleep right now anyway."

  "Well, work if you feel up to it. But tomorrow I expect a full day's job. Alright?"

  "Yes, sir." Gaspard nodded. At that, the head grounds-keeper left the area and headed for the stables.

  Jocelyn was the only one there now with Gaspard. He wanted to be with her, but at the same time he needed to be alone to think.

  There were a few moments of silence before Jocelyn suddenly burst out, unable to keep her remorse in any longer. "I am so sorry, Gaspard. I should have never asked my father to allow you two to work here. This is all my fault..." She folded her arms and started to sob.

  Still facing down, Gaspard squeezed his eyes shut in heartache as Jocelyn spoke. He could barely stand talking about Elijh when he very well knew what had happened to him. And worse, he could tell no one the truth. "No, Jocelyn. It isn't your fault at all. It was our decision to work at the Mansion. And besides, I am sure it has nothing to do with coming here. Who knows, maybe he is still alive out there somewhere." Another lie. It pained him more to lie to her than anyone.

  Jocelyn nodded gravely, looking away. She felt silly for crying in front of him. Then something caught her eyes. "What happened to your shirt?" She drew in her breath.

  "I tripped and fell over a root." Which was at least half of the cause of dried blood and tears running through it.

  "Are you hurt?" She started closer to him. "You are bleeding."

  "No," he said rather hurriedly. "I'm not anymore. It’s dry." He could smell her more profound as she moved near. Her skin smelled of roses. And underneath that scent and skin: blood. So warm and so sweet. It was calling to him.

  "Really." He stepped back. Though, he wanted nothing more than to be as close as possible to her.

  "Oh." She looked a bit taken aback. "Well, I could have it cleaned and fixed for you by the maids."

  "Thank you. But it’s okay, I have another." He looked down at his shirt. "Besides, this one is beyond unfixable I think."

  "Very well." Why was he so stubborn? "Do you want to sit down? You look a little pale."

  Great. She noticed. At least no one else had. But somehow Jocelyn noticing seemed far worse. "No, I'm fine. Maybe I should get to work now."

  Jocelyn nodded irritably. She wanted to tell him how afraid she was thinking he might have disappeared too. She was angry with herself for practically ogling over him when it was clear to her he didn't want to hear anything she had to say. She turned around and was ready to stalk back to the mansion.

  "Jocelyn, wait," he sighed. Jocelyn stopped. "Please forgive me. I am just not feeling myself right now. I feel as if my soul has been drained out of me." He almost wished he didn't say that. It was less metaphoric than intended.

  She turned back around. "I understand." She felt silly for acting childish before. "I know you have been through a lot.
I should really let you alone now. Just know that I am here if you want to… to talk about it."

  A lot more than she could possibly know, he thought. "Thank you." He smiled.

  How could a smile be so stunning? She blushed and smiled back. Picking up her dress, she turned and walked slowly back to the mansion with his ravish image still clouding her mind.

  Gaspard watched her leave, wanting to gently touch her back, moving up her spine to her neck where her pulse beat strong. He wanted to take her up on her offer, but couldn't. He wished he could tell her everything that had happened without so many pretenses. How was he suppose to keep what he is now a secret? Was he supposed to lie to her and to everyone forever?

  Forever.

  That word struck him like lightning. He would live forever. Everyone he'd care for would die as he stayed the same age for the rest of his immortal life. His body would stay his home for evermore. He'd never be free. Living off others blood just to suffice his own selfish hunger. How could he live like this? How could anyone want to live like this? There was no way to turn back. No way to end his infinity of suffering of yearning to live a mortal life.

  Chapter 9 Advent

  He lay in bed after a day filled with complications at avoiding

  the other workers and Jocelyn. He feared being too close to them could trigger the vampire within him. He was unsure if they would or not, but he didn't want to take any chances with the possibility of doing something he would regret.

  It was dead quiet except for the bugs he heard crawling around the floor and chirping of crickets outside. No snoring sounds coming from his right; no rustling from side to side to get comfortable; no murmurs of unconscious thoughts.

  Nothing.

  It was strange not to have Elijh in the same room as he. He had always had his best friend to talk to, to confide in, and be there for one another. Ever since Elijh had arrived in the orphanage soon after him, things were of that manner. The other orphans would make fun of him for his short and scrawny build. Gaspard would stand up for him, and even punched a few of the older boys who liked to be called the toughies. By the time Gaspard got done with them, they would no longer even come near Elijh. Gaspard often got in trouble (the suckups always ratted on him) and beaten for it. Though, it didn't matter. His nightmares of his past he considered as his worst pain.