Poison Hearts Read online

  She remembered the time at their fifteenth wedding anniversary when Tyler had been busy dancing with everyone else, and Andrew had asked her to dance. She felt faint, her heart pounding in her chest as he held her tight and they swayed to the music. His lips had come down slowly on hers, and for a few moments Christina had responded. She had torn herself away, running from the room.

  Christina looked at Maureen, her face flushed as she felt guilt. She twisted her hands nervously in her lap then looked at the clock on the wall. Maureen couldn't help but notice the blush that had crept across Christina's pale face at the mention of Andrew's name. There was certainly more to this than met the eye she thought. Time to do a little detective work.

  "Well now that you’re a multimillionaire, what do you plan to do with all your time and money?" Maureen asked mischievously. "Tyler didn't have any children or anyone to leave any of his estate to except you, so that leaves you sitting pretty. Perhaps you and this Andrew guy will....."

  Christina looked at Maureen with a hurt look on her face. Maureen had always blurted things out without thinking, even as kids growing up, and she sure hadn't matured with age.

  "I didn't mean that the way it sounded," Maureen stammered realizing what she said. "I ah ah.. I only meant that life goes on as they say." She stopped knowing she would only make matters worse. She didn’t want to hurt Christina, she really loved her, but she had a habit of speaking before she thought of what was going to come out.

  "That's ok. I know what you meant," Christina sighed deeply. "Let's forget it. However, to answer your question, I'm not involved with Andrew. He's just a friend. A very dear friend to both Tyler and me. For God's sake Maureen, I just buried my husband. What do you think I am anyway?"

  "I'm sorry Christina. I know you just buried your husband, but you know me. I never know when to keep my mouth shut. Forget I said that please."

  A moment later Lauren appeared with some fresh coffee. "I thought I heard your voice in here Christina," she said as she handed her a cup of swiss mocha, Christina's favorite.

  "Thanks Lauren. You've been an absolute dear and I really appreciate it," she replied kindly.

  Christina remembered the day Lauren knocked on their door in desperate search of a job. She was a scrawny young lady at the time who looked like she hadn't eaten in days. Although she didn't have any job openings at that time she felt sorry for the girl, and after giving her a decent meal Lauren insisted on working to repay her for her kindness.

  Christina decided then and there to hire her to help around the house even though they didn't need any more help. She remembered her own childhood and how during the hard times there wasn't always enough food to eat or money to buy decent clothes.

  Lauren was so eager to please and thankful for the job that she worked twice as hard as any of the other staff she had. They had grown to love her like the daughter they never had. She was very moody though and Christina had tried to penetrate through the wall Lauren had built around herself, but she just couldn't.

  At times Lauren seemed happy, but at other times she withdrew into herself and Christine had seen a look of hatred sometimes when she had been looking at Tyler. Christina didn't know why Lauren would have any bad feelings toward Tyler, but there were those looks when she thought no one was looking. She had always done her job, and more, so Christina just chalked it up to her personality and forgot about it.

  "Dinner is ready anytime you feel like eating," Lauren said interrupting Christina's thoughts.

  "I'm ready now," Maureen answered. "I didn't realize how hungry I was until now."

  Maureen could put away the food and never gain an ounce. "How about you sis?" she asked as she got up to go to the dining room.

  "You go ahead. I'm really not hungry yet."

  "Oh come on Christina, you'll get sick if you don't eat something and you can't afford to get sick now can you?"

  "You go on, I'll be there in a few minutes," Christina replied as she slowly sipped her mocha, wanting to be alone with her thoughts.

  Maureen looked at the beautifully set table, with candles lit and a flower arrangement made from Christina’s garden. The food looked delicious and Maureen wished that her sister would come and enjoy the food. She heard the birds chirping in the big tree right outside the window and the smell of lilacs and roses floated into the room.

  Just as Maureen sat down the phone rang again and Lauren went to answer it. As she passed through the dining room Maureen asked who the phone was for.

  "It's for Christina," she replied carrying a silver tray with coffee and continued on her way to the living room.

  Maureen finished her meal then walked softly toward the living room. She could hear Christina talking in a low, almost a whisper voice. She stood at the doorway and listened.

  "No. I can't tonight," she heard Christina whisper softly. "Perhaps another time I'll feel more like going out, but I just buried Tyler and I don't feel like going out in public and having to answer to all the people saying how sorry they are.

  I guess I just want to be left alone for a while. You understand don't you? Perhaps you'd care to come over here one night and have coffee."

  So maybe she was right about her big sister after all. Just then Lauren walked by and looked at Maureen curiously. Oh God she knows I'm eavesdropping she thought as she stood up straight and entered the living room just as Christina hung up the phone.

  "Oh hi," Christina muttered as her face turned a pale crimson. "How was your dinner?" she asked.

  "Fantastic as usual. You should have come out and had some. That Lauren is a great cook," Maureen replied as she sat down in the overstuffed chair across from Christina.

  "Was that your friend with the sexy voice again?" she asked nonchalantly, her eyes staring directly into Christina's. She knew Christina had a hard time lying if someone was looking directly at her.

  "No, that was one of my girlfriends. And why are you so interested anyway?" Christina asked, beginning to get a little annoyed with her little sister. She always seemed to pry into everyone else's affairs and often exaggerated stories. She had been talking to Andrew but she wasn't about to tell Maureen, not with her already thinking there was something going on between them. Nothing had ever happened, but Christina still blushed at the thought that it could have. She had felt drawn to Andrew, and had at one time even planned an affair to get back at Tyler, but she hadn't been able to go through with it.

  "Just curious, I guess. Why are you so touchy about it?" Maureen replied, a flicker of amusement flashed in her sparkling blue eyes.

  "Just drop it Maureen, ok." Christina stood up and stretched her long lean legs. She walked outside and strolled through the magnificent flower garden to ease her tension. The flowers that Tyler loved dearly were beginning to bloom and fill the air with its heavenly fragrance. She had planted beautiful roses of all colors, geraniums, petunias and some lilac bushes. She loved the fragrance of lilac and when in season, Christina would put them in each room of the house to be able to smell them in doors.

  Some evenings after a nice quiet dinner she and Tyler would come outside and walk through the flower garden hand in hand taking in its wondrous beauty. It had such a calming affect for both of them. Tyler had a way with growing flowers and plants, unlike Christina who could kill them with just a touch. She looked up at the clear blue sky as the soft gentle breeze blew softly through her silky hair. It still seemed impossible that Tyler was gone. He was the best thing to ever come into her life.

  She remembered back to her father's funeral and Tyler's kindness toward her. He invited her out one evening for supper and picked her up in his shiny, chauffeur driven limousine. She wasn't use to this kind of luxury and it was a little embarrassing to be seen in a car such as that. Even when they went roller-skating, the chauffeur stood outside and waited until they were finished. She remembered the other kids ohhing and ahhing when they saw her get inside the car, then drive off in style.

  Growing up they had just enough t
o get by in life but she was satisfied whereas Maureen wanted what everyone else had and didn't care how she got it. Maureen flaunted her luscious body to the rich, taunting and teasing men, in hopes of landing herself a wealthy husband. Tyler was at the top of her list. Christina knew that and for weeks she had declined his offer of going out. However, when he didn't call on Maureen, she decided that it wouldn't hurt to go out with him. After all, Maureen didn't fit in his plans for the future and whether she dated him or not, Maureen was out.

  When she finally did go out with Tyler, he had fallen for her the first time he laid eyes on her. Christina was the one he wanted to spend his life with. She would be the mother of his child.

  Christina was suddenly aware of where she was. Tyler was dead and she was exhausted and decided to go to bed early. Lauren was finishing up in the kitchen as Christina poked her head in the doorway and said goodnight.

  "I'll be leaving as soon as I finish cleaning up in here." Lauren said. She paused a moment then stammered, "unless you'd like for me to stay."

  "No you go on home. You've done more than enough, believe me. I know how hard it must be on you working here all day then going home to take care of your sick mother. By the way, is she doing any better?" Christina asked genuinely concerned.

  "I wished you'd reconsider my offer to move your mother to the guest house. If you change your mind the offers open," she replied as she headed toward the stairway. She knew Lauren well enough by now to know that she wouldn't accept charity of any kind from anyone. It was as if she had to prove to herself and everyone else that she could make it on her own without help from anyone. Lauren was just like Christina herself was at that age, independent and proud.

  Lauren finished putting away the last dish and picked up her pocketbook. As she headed for the front door, she could see Maureen stretched out on the sofa, a gin and tonic in her hand.

  "Goodnight Maureen, see you in the morning," she called out as she opened the front door.

  Maureen never uttered a word. She was off in her own little world by now and Lauren knew it. One of these days those drugs and booze will kill you, she thought to herself as she headed down the street toward home. Lauren didn't care as she hated Maureen, and hoped that she would overdose.

  Maureen and Lauren did have one thing in common though. Lauren wanted the good life, the money and prestigious that went along with it, and one day it would all be hers too, she thought.

  Chapter Two

  Lauren was exceptionally tired. It had been a long three days. As she opened the door to her small apartment her legs grew weak.

  "Is that you Lauren dear," her mother called out.

  "What are you doing still awake?" she asked. Usually her mother was sound asleep when she came in unless she was feeling bad.

  "I couldn't sleep. I must have napped too long this afternoon."

  Lauren looked at her fragile mother and noticed how thin her silver hair had become since her illness; her liquid brown eyes had lost their sparkle. She deserved better than this, Lauren thought wishing she could do more for her, but it took almost every dime she made to pay the nurses who came and sat with her every day and for her medication.

  Their apartment was on the third floor and most of the time the elevator didn't work in the old creaky building. Lauren hated the place, with the paper-thin walls. She heard the drunken men in the apartment above them fighting all the time, and the sounds of kids crying carried long into the nights.

  "Dam this world,” Lauren shouted. While she'd never met her father, she hated him. He had left her mother when he found out she was pregnant. She was good enough to sleep with, but not to marry and Lauren hated him for that.

  Her mother had been his maid and had to do all the dirty work while his wife got all the good things out of life. Lauren almost hated the wife even though the woman probably hadn't known her husband had slept with her mother and gotten her pregnant.

  Her mother had just left one day, pregnant and penniless and it broke Laurens heart that her mother had been treated that way. The hatred in her heart was like a sore that never healed, and every time she looked at people who were rich, she felt the rage and hatred building up inside, ready to snap at any given minute. She had every right to hate those people she thought, with their snooty attitudes, and money.

  "Now dear, rich folks are not all bad. I wish you wouldn't say things like that."

  "Look what my so-called father did to you. He left us. He didn't care that he had a daughter who had nothing while he was living the life of luxury. Why, he wouldn't have even missed that money and it would have meant we could have lived decently. Look where we live mother. It's terrible. You don't deserve to live like this."

  "That's not quite fair Lauren. He did give me ten- thousand dollars when I gave birth to you. He didn’t have to do that, you know. You can’t go through life hating like you do Lauren. It’s not good to have those feelings building up inside, making you hate everyone who is wealthy.”

  "Ten thousand dollars just covered the rent those months you weren’t able to work. He's never wanted to meet me, never acknowledged I was alive. In addition, look when I called him a few years ago when you were sick and I told him you needed money to live on while I went to college, did he help with the money? No! He sent five thousand dollars.

  Just enough money to ease his conscious. That's all it was. Not enough for us to live on for two years while I got my degree in computer programming.” Lauren sighed as she took a breath. Looking at her mother she felt the tears welling up inside again.

  “And now you have to listen to the crap that goes on in this apartment building because I can't afford a better place for you. It's a disgrace that we have to live like this. No one should have to live in such squalor."

  Carol sighed. "It won't always be this way Lauren. I wish you'd stop worrying about me. You know I don't have much longer to live, "She took a sip of juice that was beside her bed, looking at Lauren and thinking how beautiful her daughter was. If only she could have some happiness in life maybe she could get rid of all that hatred.

  "Stop saying that mother! I won't let you die. You're all I have and I love you." Lauren broke down in tears, her heart felt as if it were breaking. She flung herself down on the bed, and Carol held her while she cried.

  "Shhh,." she whispered to Lauren. "It's going to be all right. Please don't cry. You know we can't live forever and I'll be going to a better place. A place where I can breathe and run and I'll be waiting for you when it's your time. The good Lord knows when it's our time, and I'm ready."

  "Please mother, don't talk about dying anymore."

  "Ok sweetheart. I feel kind of tired; guess it's time for my sleeping pills."

  Lauren handed her mother a sleeping pill and glass of water, then sat on the edge of the bed waiting till the pill took effect.

  Her mother drifted off to sleep in minutes while Lauren sat there watching her. Life hadn't been fair to her mother. She was only seventeen when she became pregnant with Lauren. Alone and unmarried she struggled just to survive. As a child Lauren knew very little about her father except that he was wealthy and didn't want a scandal so he sent her mother away. There were no birthday cards, no phone calls for Lauren from her father although he knew she existed.

  When Lauren was a teenager she pleaded with her mother to at least tell her father's name. However, her mother would become quiet and sullen and tell her it was better if she didn't know. Better for whom she wondered, surely not me.

  Her friends all had fathers and even if they were divorced at least her friends knew what their father's looked like. Lauren could only imagine hers. Until the day she accidentally found a snapshot while she was rearranging her mother's closet. It must have fallen out of the box where she kept all the photographs over the years and was lying on the floor in the corner of the closet. It had to be her father, why else would she have saved this picture.

  She wanted to confront her that day but was afraid. Finally two weeks lat
er she got up enough courage to ask her. She remembered the conversation word for word as if it were only yesterday although it had been five years ago. Lauren had given her mother a cup of tea as usual that morning. "Lauren honey you should find yourself a nice young man instead of worrying with me," her mother replied.

  "A nice wealthy man like you did mother? One who will run off and leave me like he left you?" Lauren bit her lip, wishing she could take back what she'd said after seeing the pain on her mothers face.

  “I'm sorry mother, I didn't mean it, honest I didn't."

  Her mother looked at her intently, hesitated slightly before answering.

  "Lauren I've tried to keep you from being hurt. But the truth is he didn't love me. Even after you were born I contacted him and sent a picture of you to him hoping he'd at least acknowledge you. The envelope was returned, with a note attached saying he didn't want anything to do with you, and not to bother him again or his attorney would take legal action to see that he wasn't bothered again." Carol looked at her daughter’s face, which was clouded with pain and wished she could make it all go away.

  "That's why I didn't want to tell you who he was. He was a married man. You'll only be hurt again."

  "But mother, it's my right to at least know who he is, even if he doesn't want to see me. You don't know what it's like going through life not knowing who or where your father is. It's like a piece of my life is missing," Lauren cried softly.

  It was then she pulled out the photograph and demanded, "Is this my father?"

  Her mother's eyes weld up with tears and Lauren knew. She finally knew who her father was. Over the years she recalled the conversation that day over and over again. However, she vowed to never be hurt like her mother was by any man.