Perfect Christmas: A Paper Dolls Novel Read online

  “You're awesome,” I said.

  “You know I rarely draw,” she smiled nervously.

  “And yet, you're still great at it,” I countered. Art would always be one of her things.

  I saw Greg get up and take his turn drawing. He wasn't bad but definitely not as good as Olivia. Nat guessed correctly before he finished drawing.

  “Guess it's my turn,” I said.

  We ended up sucking like I predicted. Dad and I never had been on the same page. I know that most of it was my crappy drawing though. We did share a competitive streak.

  I was bummed when I sat down, frowning and sighing.

  Olivia pulled me into a hug, forcing me to lean onto her.

  We only got through one more round before Mom had to go get the turkey out and get the sides in serving dishes.

  I went with her and set the table. Olivia came along and helped Mom with the green bean casserole.

  “Are you alright, Avery?” Mom asked.

  “Yeah. I'm good,” I said.

  “I'm sorry your father sprung this on you but he didn't realize how it would seem to you. He's never been good with that kind of thing. You know that,” she said.

  I put the last of the silverware down and took a moment to close my eyes.

  “I'm fine, Mom. It's not a big deal.”

  Mom handed me two dishes full of food and turned me around, giving me a little push toward the table.

  “I'm just checking in,” she said, patting my shoulder.

  I put the dishes down and shrugged.

  “It's all good,” I looked back at her.

  “Baby, did we bring the cider in?” I asked.

  “Oh shoot,” Olivia said, frustrated. “I’ll go grab it.”

  “Thanks,” I said.

  Olivia walked by and I put my hand out so it would graze her arm. Mom came over and I pinned her in my gaze.

  “I’m sorry if I seemed weirded out. We ran into Greg in that bookstore and he hit on me. It was awkward. Then I just saw him and-”

  “I think your dad doesn’t understand what he’s doing but let’s not you and I pretend, okay?” Mom put her hands on my arms and rubbed up and down. “Greg is not a replacement for your brother. No one will ever replace Adam. It’s hard sometimes to realize things about ourselves. I’ve had a long time to think and reflect on how things were for you since Adam died. That, and a lot of therapy. Your dad hasn’t gotten there yet but I’m working on him,” she said, smiling.

  I nodded and chewed on my lip. It made sense. There shouldn’t be any bullshit between us anymore but Mom was right.

  “It still hurts a little,” I said.

  “I know,” Mom said, hugging me and putting a hand on the back of my head. “I think about him all the time. I’m so sorry we weren’t there for you. I screwed up and I know it’s still hard. I’ll never forgive myself fully for that but you turned out beautifully. You had so much happen to you, more than most people in a lifetime and I’m so proud of you,” she said.

  I was about to cry. I swallowed it down and tried to move on without showing emotion. I would be a wreck for the rest of the night if I did.

  Olivia came back with the cider and we all sat down to eat. We were pretty quiet, mostly because the food was so good. I ate way more than I should have. I saw Nat put away a lot too and Olivia even ate more than she normally did. Probably, because of what Mom had said earlier.

  When we were done everyone helped clean up the table and put away all the leftovers. Mom insisted we take some of it home with us and had Tupperware all ready to go for the occasion. When we were done we all went back to the living room for presents.

  “I’m playing Santa this year,” I said.

  No one argued with me so I went right over to the tree and picked up a present.

  “This is for Mom,” I said, handing her a present.

  It was wrapped in the gold paper that Olivia had picked out and it looked a little lopsided because I had done the wrapping.

  She tore into the paper and gingerly removed the box.

  “A Kindle? Avery, you shouldn’t have done this. It’s expensive,” Mom said.

  “It’s fine Mom and I knew you could use it. You read so much now and it’s annoying to carry a bunch of books around. Plus, this way you can take it with you on trips,” I said.

  “Thank you!” She shot forward off the couch and hugged me again. I don’t think she’s ever hugged me this many times in one day before.

  “You’re welcome. Olivia helped me pick it,” I said.

  “Oh, thank you too then,” Mom said, looking at her.

  “I know you’ll love it,” Olivia said.

  “When you open the box you’ll find an Amazon gift card so you can buy some books,” I said.

  “That’s far too much,” she said.

  “Hold on because you have another present from me and one from Olivia,” I pointed out.

  “I’m going to be spoiled,” Mom lamented.

  “Shush, I’ve got to get to the next present,” I said, sticking my tongue out.

  I went back to the tree and handed Dad a gift from Olivia. He hummed and turned it over, shaking the box and trying to figure out what it is.

  “Must be a new car,” he joked.

  I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

  “Dad jokes, that’s what I got from you. Obviously,” I said.

  He chuckled and opened the present, lifting the lid off the box.

  “Well!” He held up the present inside.

  It was a leather bound journal with a very fancy pen. I watched him page through it, looking through the features.

  “For all your stories,” she said. “A captain’s log.”

  “It’s perfect!” He got up and went to Olivia, burying her in a bear hug and leaving no doubt about his appreciation. “And a very useful thing,” he finished.

  She didn’t say anything but I could tell she knew he was happy about it. “Merry Christmas,” she said, right before he let her go.

  “Now you,” Mom said, handing me a small wrapped box.

  I grinned and tore the paper off, saving the pretty blue ribbon to keep.

  Inside was a set of earrings. They looked old but well cared for. There were garnets set in gold. They were simple and elegant.

  “These have been in the family for four generations. I waited until you were the same age I was when your grandmother gave them to me,” Mom said.

  “They're great,” I said. I wasn't even sure what to say. My mom only wore these earrings on very special occasions like her wedding and mine.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “You are more than welcome. I'm so happy to pass them on to you,” Mom said.

  I hugged her tight and looked over her shoulder to Dad. His chin trembled but he got himself under control as quickly as he let a little emotion show.

  I went back to my seat and turned to Olivia.

  “Hold this please,” I said, handing her the open box.

  I took the earrings I was wearing out and set them in the lid of the box and put the new ones in.

  “What do you think?” I asked, holding my hair back so Olivia could see.

  “They're beautiful,” she said.

  I felt amazing. This was something I could hold onto, a piece of our family history.

  We passed out the rest of the presents so everyone could open them at the same time. I was too emotional to keep going by myself. I kept bouncing from one thing to the next until Olivia made me sit beside her again.

  Greg even got us all gifts, little espresso mug sets and gift cards to the bookstore.

  What started as a rocky night, ended in happiness. It was more than I ever expected.

  We hugged and sang, got competitive over real estate during Monopoly, and at the end I even had to admit that Greg was pretty cool.

  When we were ready to leave Mom and Dad walked us out and I stayed at the door with them while Olivia and Nat warmed up the car.

  “Thanks
, guys,” I said.

  “I'm so glad you came and I'm happy you had fun,” Mom said.

  I put one arm over each of their shoulders and squeezed them close, an awkward three person hug that ended up being warm and encompassing.

  “I love you, kid. I have never been good at saying things like that but I hope you know that,” Dad said.

  I felt a tear escape onto my cheek. It had been threatening to spill over for half the night and leave it to Dad to finally say the thing that made me let go.

  “I love you too, both of you,” I said stepping back. “I'm not good with feelings either and I'm sorry I haven't been around much. It's hard with- everything,” I said.

  “We understand and never be afraid to tell us what you're feeling but we do understand. Maybe someday we can all sit down and have a talk, a real talk,” Mom said eying Dad.

  He smiled and nodded, but I could tell it wouldn't be for a long time.

  That was okay for now.

  “You guys have a good night. I promise I'll call more and email,” I said.

  “Merry Christmas,” Mom said.

  “Good night and tell Olivia thank you again for her gift.” Dad said.

  “Okay, bye,” I said.

  “Oh, and I expect you to help me build the model you got me on your next break,” he added.

  I shook my head and laughed.

  “Sure Dad,” I said.

  Another tear made its way out of prison and down to my chin.

  I made it to the car and got in the passenger seat but I couldn't look away. My parents were framed in the doorway, the light from inside shrouding them. I always ignored missing them but now I couldn’t. They might not have been the perfect parents but they were mine and they were trying.

  Just like me, Adam’s death had happened to them as well. I had to remember that. Everyone made mistakes, some bigger than others. I knew that. I just had to let go of a lot of hurt. Maybe I was getting better at that the older I got. There was so much we needed to say and after tonight I knew we would have that talk.

  “Home, Jeeves!” I joked and patted Olivia on the knee.

  She turned the car around and we drove the five miles back. I was happy, really happy, not just with Olivia and school, but with my life as a whole, at least, for the night.

  Chapter 16

  Olivia

  The road home from Avery’s was short but sweet. Low music played and I think we were all happy to be momentarily free.

  There’d been a heaviness in there, a certain knowledge that everyone held onto about something you couldn’t explain to a stranger like Greg, not without killing the mood or dampening a warm dry evening on land. I thought about what it’d be like to be that young man just on leave for the holiday, creating memories to shape a vision of some future that could soon be his. It was interesting for me.

  When you’re young and setting on an adventure like that you have these dreams, these expectations. Greg looked to Gareth like he was the man with all the answers. Did Avery see that? What did she see?

  I pulled up to my house and noticed a familiar car.

  “Natalie,” I said, grabbing her attention as I slowed a little to give her a bit of time to prepare.

  “Oh fuck…” She whispered, sitting up and quick. She pushed between Avery and I, trying to use the rearview mirror to check her makeup and sexify herself.

  “Here,” I said, leaning over Avery to open my glove compartment and throw her back a spare case of emergency things. Tonight wasn’t supposed to be like this. Nat was just going to relax and unwind but not now. “Did she text you?” I wondered.

  I pulled up behind Layla’s car and parked. Nat was quick to re-apply lipstick and fluff up her hair. She looked like sex all night, and by that I just mean, she looked sexy, nothing more. It could've been what happened with Avery that made me think that. But I always found Nat attractive. Emotions just heightened things.

  “No,” Nat said. “There was nothing.”

  Her own fear was inside me. I knew what it meant for her to actually like someone again.

  “Holy crap. I told you!” Avery hollered.

  “Shhhh,” Nat hissed grumpily. She did smile though as she moved forward and pushed Avery to get her to calm down and not be THAT girl.

  I liked when they fought, it was adorable and they were better at it than me. There was more play in everything they did. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t get mad about that kiss.

  “Don’t shush me,” Avery argued. “There’s a super hot pop star over there waiting on you and right now I’m just sad that I can’t shrink myself and hang out in your dress so I can hear it all.”

  “If I had you in my dress why the hell would I be waiting on her?” Nat teased.

  “You guys,” I laughed. They were embarrassing. Not to Layla, but to myself.

  Nevertheless, Layla was in that car. When the door opened we all got serious and watched her walk.

  “I-uh… I should probably go out there,” Nat realized after staring a beat too long.

  “I mean, if you don’t I’ll do it for you,” I said, swallowing. “I’m sure my parents would love to hangout with someone new. They always love that shit.”

  Layla was coming over. Any more delay and it would just get weird.

  “Fuck. Okay,” Nat said, opening the door and getting out.

  The door slammed and it hurt my ears. Avery and I watched and I cracked my window a little to try and spy.

  “Should we get out?” I whispered.

  Nat and Layla were hugging.

  “I missed you,” I heard Layla say.

  “Oh my god…” I muttered, swallowing and sitting still in my chair.

  “Really?” Nat was asking her, beaming. That smile was mine once. I remember that smile. Even just watching, it made me blush.

  “Yes. Really,” Layla said softly. “I - I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do last night.”

  “Oh,” Nat said, staring openly, the way one does when they’re only really thinking about doing one thing.

  “I- wanted to do things,” Layla said nervously.

  “We, probably shouldn’t be listening to this,” I laughed over and smiled at Avery to try and stop myself from being a spy.

  “Shh, I’m trying to hear,” Avery said, hitting my arm.

  “Ow!” I laughed, bruised but also sure that she was right. How often can you become an audience to such a delicious thing?

  Avery leaned over and kissed the spot she had smacked. She smoothed it with her hand.

  “You weren’t the only one,” Nat said. My heart beat quicker. I held my hand over Avery’s and watched on.

  “Aw fuck. This is romantic,” I muttered awkwardly.

  “Do you think we can… Is there a place here where we can-” Layla couldn’t even speak.

  “Hold on,” Nat said. I saw her look over at us.

  “Busted…” I muttered, flaring my eyes and trying to shake off seeing all of that chemistry.

  Nat stalked over to me and I hurried to roll down my window.

  “Hey, uh. Is it okay if we go up to the treehouse?”

  “The treehouse?” I asked. For a moment I actually forgot that it existed and it made me laugh. I looked over to Avery. “That’s fine right?” I asked, wondering.

  “Olivia. Why are you being weird?” Nat asked.

  “Oh, um. Yeah, yeah. Just um, let us know if you need anything,” I shrugged and looked over to Avery. Thinking about Nat and Layla up there, how the hell were we even supposed to normally function? “Grab some wine, from inside,” I hinted, putting my hand over Natalie’s since it was still on my windowsill. “And take some food,” I said.

  “It’s kind of perfect up there right now anyway. Olivia made a Christmas wonderland,” Avery smiled.

  “My O-Livia?” Nat said, stressing the O.

  “Shut up,” I said, annoyed that she would choose now to make fun of me.

  “It sounds nice,” Natalia said, taking my hand and holding it t
o get me to see her.

  We stared for longer than a second. It was one of those intense awkward things.

  Then Nat let go of my hand and fixed her dress. “Do I look okay?” She asked.