Blaine: Christmas at The Skulls Read online

  She closed the door, removing her coat as Blaine appeared around the corner. He only wore a short sleeved shirt, and she saw the ink that decorated his arms.

  “Hey,” he said. “Where’s Darcy?”

  “Spending the night at my parents’. They wouldn’t let me bring her home.” She walked down the hall going toward him. In her mind flashed a memory of their last apartment. When he’d entered during their first few weeks together, she’d run toward him. Blaine would open him arms out to embrace her.

  This hadn’t happened in such a long time. She stopped several feet from him. “Nicole told me to tell you hi.”

  “Who’s Nicole?”

  “Fake blonde with big tits?”

  Blaine frowned. “Sorry, haven’t got a clue.”

  “I’m sure she’ll be disappointed.” Emily stared at his lips, wishing there was something else she could say to him. Instead, she looked toward the kitchen.

  “What you got cooking?”

  “Erm, a curry, I think.”

  She walked into the kitchen to find a curry bubbling on the stove. Lifting the lid on another pan, she saw fluffy rice.

  “This smells amazing.”

  He leaned against the doorframe, watching her. Emily licked her suddenly dry lips. It took every ounce of control not to go to him.

  Would it hurt?

  “I picked up the presents from Millie today.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why did you go and pay for them?”

  She tucked some hair behind her ear. There was no getting away from the guilt now. When she’d paid for them she’d truly believed she was doing a good thing. Now, she no longer believed so.

  “I didn’t want you to be out of pocket. Those toys cost a lot of money.”

  Chapter Two

  “Darcy’s my daughter as well. I like buying shit for her, Emily.” Blaine was losing his temper. When she’d walked into the apartment toward him, he’d known she was thinking about the times when they were younger. He’d loved coming home just to have her running toward him. Blaine missed her being open with her affection. She wouldn’t give him a little leeway. He thought about Lenard’s advice. Maybe it was time to start pushing a little more. He wasn’t going to leave or start using drugs nor was he going to screw around with other women.

  The fact she mentioned Nicole only told him she was waiting for him to screw up. He didn’t know who the bitch was, but whoever she was had left Emily feeling sad.

  “I know.”

  “If you know why didn’t you let me pay for them? You’ve already bought Darcy gifts. I’ve seen them stuffed in the wardrobe, Em.”

  She turned to look at him, folding her arms underneath her breasts. The jeans she wore molded to her curves, but the shirt was so big he couldn’t even make the outline of her body. He’d noticed this about his woman, that she rarely let herself be seen. They shared a bed, but again she wore large pajamas. Didn’t she realize he only needed to be in her company to be turned on? This was what he had to live with from the moment he first met her. There was a four year age gap between them, and he’d met her by chance when he’d gone to a bonfire and the high school kids had joined. At the time he’d been working at the coffee shop as he’d not made the grades to go to college. He’d been trying to get an apprentice position at The Skulls’ mechanic shop, which he’d failed to get as they were fully staffed. Blaine had looked toward the lake to find one woman standing on her own.

  Blaine couldn’t even describe what happened to him, but he’d needed to drag himself toward her. She had pulled him close, and it hadn’t changed after all this time. He found himself meeting up with her after school just to be close to her. Over the course of another few weeks, he’d fallen in love with her. He never pressured her to have sex, and they both waited until she was eighteen. When they were together, he’d promised to take care of her, protect her, look after her. The condom had split on him, and she’d become pregnant.

  Their life hadn’t turned out like he hoped. His plans had gotten caught up in his own stupid shit.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Are you really sorry?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t know, Emily. What more do I have to do to prove to you I’m not going to let you down. I’m here to stay to be your man and a father to Darcy.”

  “I don’t want you to be my man. I only want you to be a father to our daughter.”

  He closed the distance between them, angered at her complete lack of care when it came to him. “You don’t want me.” He reached out to grip her waist. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked me to. I’ve not touched you or pressured you to be with me.” With one hand on her waist, he cupped her cheek. “I have deserved half the crap you’ve dished out to me for the way I treated you before, but don’t think you can tell me I’m not your man. It’s time you trusted me completely, Em.”

  Blaine slammed his lips down on hers, moaning as she opened up to him. Emily gripped both of his arms, but he didn’t break away from the kiss. It had been too long since he’d had her in his arms, tasting her, loving her. He felt like he’d been drowning and could finally breathe with her in his arms. There was no way he was letting her go. Blaine knew he couldn’t let her go. She meant too much to him to allow her to leave again.

  Sliding his tongue over her lips, he pressed inside to meet her tongue. Emily tightened her grip on his arms yet didn’t push him away. He gripped her hair, tilting her head back so that he could deepen the kiss.

  She released a moan, and he broke the kiss long enough to look into her eyes, which were dilated and full of arousal.

  “Blaine?”

  Her voice was croaky, and it went straight to his cock. This was the woman he’d been missing for so long.

  “Don’t ever say I’m not your man. I’m your man, Emily, and have been from the first moment I saw you. If any man tries to touch you, I’ll fucking kill them.”

  “Don’t—”

  He cut her off by slamming his lips down on hers. She melted against him, and he loved it. Blaine relished the feel of her pressed against him.

  “No, this shit that’s going on between us. It ends. I understand I fucked up, but I’m proving to you I’m not going to hurt you. I love you, Emily. Always have, always will. I’ll buy shit for Darcy and for you without you paying for the crap.” He stroked her cheek, loving the feel of her against his fingers. “I’m not going to let you do this to us any longer. I’ve done everything you asked. I’m not going to change.”

  “I’m scared.”

  Her eyes filled with tears, breaking his heart to know it was his fault. “I’m here. You can be scared all you want, but you’ve got to know that I’m here for you. I’ll catch you when you fall. I’ll be the one you’ll be screaming for when you’re coming. Me, Emily. I’m not backing down or leaving.”

  He wiped the tears away as they started to fall.

  “No more tears, Emily. Trust me. I won’t let you down.” He dropped another kiss to her lips. “Go and have a bath, relax. We’ll have some food.”

  Emily nodded.

  Releasing her, he watched her walk toward their room. They had an en-suite bathroom so she had time away from Darcy. When he’d bought the place he’d done so with Emily’s comfort in mind.

  He gave the curry another quick stir then made his way toward the table he’d started to set before she came in. Checking the table, he then grabbed his cell phone to dial Lenard.

  “She’s not on her way here, is she?” Lenard asked.

  “No. We’re making progress. Small progress but it’s better than nothing. I’m calling about Christmas. The Skulls are having a get-together at the club. Do you want Emily and Darcy around for Christmas?”

  Silence met his question.

  “Tell him, Lenard,” Shirley said.

  He must be on speakerphone.

  “We’ve booked ourselves a cruise for Christmas. We leave a week before Christmas and don’t come back until the New Year. Sh
irley and I were talking, and we believe that we have intervened too much. It’s time for Emily to stand on her own two feet. We’ve put off going away on a cruise as we felt she needed us all the time. This year it’s time for her to be with you and Darcy.”

  Blaine let out a breath. “Do you want me to tell her?”

  “No. We’ll be talking to her about it when she comes for Darcy. I’m putting trust into you, Blaine. You’re the only man who can make her happy. I’m sure of it.”

  He mumbled his agreement, not sure if he completely agreed with her parents. Blaine ended the call just as Emily walked through the door. She was dressed in a skirt that went to her ankles along with another of those long, shapeless shirts. He needed to get her in clothes that made her feel sexy or at the very least, like a woman.

  “Take a seat.” He pulled a chair out, waiting for her to take a seat. She hesitated for a split second before taking a seat. Blaine leaned forward, moving her raven hair out of the way. He dropped a kiss to her neck, wanting to do a hell of a lot more but holding off. There would be time for that soon. “I’ll get food.”

  Blaine turned the stove off, and served them both plenty of food. He walked back to the table, taking a seat across from her.

  She picked up her fork, and he noticed her hand shook a little. He’d kissed her, and he wanted her to get used to having him touch her. Angel had brought Emily back into his life. He wondered if he could ask her help in winning back his woman.

  No one at the club knew the truth about his relationship with Emily. They all thought they were a couple even though they were the furthest thing from a couple. He thought about Angel with Lash, Eva and Tiny, even Whizz and Lacey—they were all united couples. No one could tear them apart even if they tried. That’s what he wanted for them, and he would make sure they had it.

  ****

  The curry was everything she loved, spicy, delicious, and his specialty. Emily bit into a chunk of chicken moaning as the taste exploded on her tongue. She’d always loved Blaine’s cooking. They both shared a passion for good food.

  “This is really good,” she said.

  Her hand kept shaking, which she hated. The bath was supposed to have made her relax, not driven her even crazier. Then he’d gone and kissed her on the neck. All it had done was remind her of the times Blaine wouldn’t stop kissing her. They had been together a year before they had sex. Blaine had been the perfect gentleman, waiting for her to be of age before taking the next step. When he’d taken her virginity, they hadn’t held back. She loved being with him, even though the sex hadn’t been earth shattering. The earth shattering sex had come a good deal after. She’d not been with another man but Blaine. Even though they’d been over she couldn’t bring herself to be with another man. She hadn’t wanted to taint the memory she had of Blaine with another man.

  “I live to serve.” He reached between them, resting his hand on top of hers.

  The kiss they’d shared had set her pulse racing and heat flooding her pussy. She couldn’t fight the memories with him this close. It was too hard. Emily didn’t move her hand away even though she knew she should. If she wanted to keep her distance, she had to create some space between them.

  “Will you come to the clubhouse tomorrow? They’re putting up all the decorations. You won’t believe how different it looks. Tiny’s let his woman loose on the place.”

  Emily laughed. Eva, Angel, and Kelsey were wonderful women. She didn’t get on well with Tate, but the others were okay. “What about Darcy?”

  “We can pick her up afterward.”

  “Okay. It should be fun.”

  She looked down at her food as Blaine squeezed her hand. Glancing at their hands, she felt a shard of pain through her heart.

  You’ve got to stop pushing him away.

  “You always used to love Christmas,” he said. “I remember how you dragged me around every fairy light and tree display.”

  He was talking about the time when she was still in high school. She wouldn’t let him put a downer on the season. Emily recalled making sugar cookies for him, brownies, inviting him back home to meet her parents.

  Shirley and Lenard had been pleasant to him, but once he’d left their home for the night, both had voiced their concerns about his age. She’d brushed aside their concern.

  They’re not concerned anymore.

  No. They weren’t concerned anymore. In fact they were trying to get her married off to him already.

  “I still love Christmas.”

  “Then why haven’t you put your own touch to this place?”

  She looked up at him to find him staring intently back at her. “What do you mean?”

  “Everyone has decorated for Christmas, yet this place looks the same. The only sense of Christmas is Darcy’s Advent calendar in the hallway by the door.”

  Emily twirled her fork on her plate. She’d been tempted to decorate their apartment. Like with everything else she’d held herself back, refusing to take that next step.

  “I didn’t know it’s what you wanted.”

  “This is your place as well.”

  She looked around the space.

  “You’ve not even made an effort to put your own mark on the place,” he said.

  “I, erm, I thought it looked great without anything else added to it. I didn’t want to spoil your, I mean, our space.”

  He dropped his fork to the half empty plate. “You’re still waiting for me to fail, aren’t you?”

  “No.” She didn’t sound convincing even to herself. “Look, I didn’t know what you wanted.”

  “Our first apartment was in a shithole. It was awful, and yet you still got your hands stuck in making it ours. This is our apartment, Emily.”

  She opened her mouth, then closed it. There was no point in arguing. Everything he said was right while she was wrong. “I’ll decorate.”

  Blaine stood, taking his plate from the table.

  Her appetite gone, she carried her plate into the kitchen. She froze as she watched him throw his plate into the sink. Emily heard it shatter on impact.

  “This is going to stop,” Blaine said.

  She held onto her plate tightly as he gripped the counter by the sink. Staring at his knuckles she saw they were white from where he held onto the sink.

  “I’ve not done anything wrong.” Is what I’ve done really acceptable? Emily didn’t like the way she was feeling. She was in the wrong. For three years she’d been doing this, but was it okay for her to do this? Her parents believed she needed to move on. She no longer knew what to do.

  “No. You never did anything wrong. I did, and you can’t bring yourself to forgive me, can you?”

  He spun around, his dark eyes staring back at her. She shivered at being assessed by him. Blaine stared at her, yet he saw a lot more than she wanted him to see.

  “You were by my side when I was shot. You’re always there for me, Emily. Every time I think we’re moving forward, you hold yourself back. Do you even love me anymore?”

  Tears filled her eyes once again. She couldn’t look at him and stared down at her plate, hoping like so many other times that he would give up. Blaine wasn’t the man she once knew. The man from her past before he succumbed to drugs and drink wouldn’t let her hide. This man in front of her was always hesitant around her. She hated it, and she hated the man he’d become. When she visited the club to see him, they all got the Blaine she’d once loved. She didn’t. She got a shell of the man, but had she really encouraged him to move on?

  What kind of woman was she to be envious of a club?

  “No, you don’t get to hide from me anymore.” He stepped closer, taking the plate from her. She tried to hold onto the plate, but he tore it from her grip.

  “Will you stop?”

  “No, you’re going to answer me. I’m tired of this bullshit, Em. When I kissed you, you wanted me. You kissed me back. This woman, this isn’t you, and this isn’t me. We’re hurting Darcy this way.”

  “Do
you think I don’t know that?” she asked, crying out.

  “Answer my question.”

  “No.”

  He gripped her arms, pulling her close. “Stop torturing us and answer my goddamn question, Em. Do you love me or not?”

  She stared into his eyes and sobbed. “I don’t know.”

  The moment she spoke the words, she felt a part of herself break apart. She pressed her hands to her face. Emily sobbed into her hands, wishing she could take back the last couple of minutes of arguing.

  Blaine released her. “Have you been with another man?”

  “What?” she asked, looking up at him.

  “The woman I knew wouldn’t be like this.”

  “Blaine, we’re different.”

  “For the last three years we’ve been together. We’re not different.”

  “We are. You’re not the same man you used to be.”

  He let her go. “Is there another man?”

  She glanced down to see his hands were fisted. His earlier threat passed through her mind. “No, there’s isn’t another man.” He relaxed slightly at her words.

  “I’m sorry for losing my temper. I shouldn’t have hurt you.” He reached out to rub her arms. Didn’t he realize he’d not even held her roughly?

  There was no pain from his touch. Emily was in pain because of her own stupidity.

  “I suggest you go and watch some television.” Blaine turned away from her once again. This was what she hated. Their arguing only created more of a distance.

  Isn’t this what you wanted?

  Emily truly didn’t know. She watched him clean away the plate he’d smashed.

  What could she say to him?

  She didn’t know how to reach out to the man she’d fallen in love with. Turning away, she walked into the sitting room. She curled up on the sofa, grabbing the remote. Flicking through the channels, she felt cold. Emily wrapped a blanket around her, trying to get warm. Nothing helped. She was cold to the bone, and the only person she’d ever wanted to warm her up was gone.