One Last Time Read online

  Matthew cracked a little smile, but June’s face only turned stonier. “And I suppose it’ll take all four of you here to supervise.”

  “A package deal, I’m afraid,” Lee said. “No refunds, no exchanges.”

  “We’ll take real good care of this place,” I told them earnestly. “You know we will. I mean, who else could you trust to look after this place better than us?”

  Lee added, “And we can all still be here for Fourth of July! Mom, you always say how important it is to keep traditions.”

  “It would be a great way to say goodbye to the place,” Rachel said tentatively.

  “And Lee will even take out the trash every Sunday,” Noah promised, winking at his little brother and clapping him around the shoulders. Lee pulled a face back at him, but it was brief, before he turned a beaming face on his parents.

  “So…Mom? Dad? What do you say?”

  They exchanged another look, and I could hear the dramatic music playing out in my head, like we were on The Voice and waiting to hear who’d won the final vote. The seconds dragged on into eternity and I could’ve sworn not a single one of us was breathing. Even Noah looked tense, excited.

  Matthew drew a long, deep breath, taking an age to let it out again.

  June looked back at us once more.

  “All right. You kids can stay here for the summer.”

  I shrieked, jumping into the air, my arms flailing, hands flapping. Lee crouched down before punching the air, jumping, too. Rachel let out an excited squeal.

  Noah’s arms wrapped around my waist and he lifted me up into the air, spinning me around. He set me back down quickly to wrestle Lee into a headlock, messing up his hair and then high-fiving Rachel.

  “You guys are the best!” Lee shouted, bent over in the headlock. “Aside from selling our family summer home, which we’ll never forgive you for, you’re the best!”

  A whole summer, here, with Lee and Noah and Rachel…

  Last year we’d been worried that everything would change. We’d been worried that Noah wouldn’t be around over the summer, and when Rachel had come for a few days it had created a weird, new dynamic.

  But after this year, things really would change. Matthew and June would sell the beach house and there really would be no more summers here, and of course things between us were going to change.

  We needed this. This one final hurrah, a chance to properly say goodbye to the beach house—and to our childhoods.

  Chapter Eight

  It had been a long, exhausting day, but my mood was significantly improved now that Lee’s parents had agreed to let us spend all summer at the beach house. I even kind of enjoyed the ride home on the back of Noah’s bike.

  Noah killed the engine, and I clung to him for a minute before pressing a kiss into his shoulder and peeling myself away. I handed the helmet back and waited for him to get my purse for me.

  He took the hint, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

  “Not gonna invite me in?”

  I shook my head. “I kinda want to spend some quality time with Brad tonight.”

  His eyebrows shot up. It wasn’t that I didn’t like my brother, or didn’t spend time with him, but we didn’t exactly do “quality time.” And it wasn’t a total lie…

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, it’s good.”

  Noah knew me better, though, his hand coming up to cup my cheek, his palm warm and rough against my skin. His blue eyes bored into mine. “You sure? You know you can talk to me—about anything.”

  Not about this.

  I could do with a little alone time to consider what I was going to do about college—or at least, as “alone” as babysitting got. But I also didn’t really feel like getting into the whole Linda thing with Noah right now either. Today had been consumed with the beach house, so I hadn’t had a chance to talk to anybody about it.

  And I couldn’t just drop the bombshell now that I had to babysit this evening because Dad had a date.

  So I took a breath and smiled and kissed him and said, “I know. Maybe tomorrow, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you, too, Elle.”

  He caught my wrist as I made to leave, pulling me back into him. My hands braced against his chest, the familiar leather of his jacket under my fingers, and Noah’s lips moved over mine—slowly, passionately, making me weak at the knees.

  “I hate when you do that,” I mumbled against his mouth.

  I felt him smirk.

  “Do what?” he asked, all innocence.

  “Kiss me and make me want to spend the rest of my life kissing you and forget about everything else.”

  He chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest, against my hands, and kissed me once more, tender and light and lingering until finally, we broke apart.

  Once I was inside, my dad called, “Elle? How’d it go today?”

  I dumped my stuff and dug out the baseball glove I’d brought home for Brad.

  Dad was in his office, and I poked my head in. “Yeah, it was, um…It was weird, actually. But, hey, I got this baseball glove for Brad!”

  “I heard my name! I heard my name!”

  Brad came barreling out of the lounge, right into my side, and made a grab for the glove. I automatically held it up above my head.

  “Elle, come on! What other cool stuff did you bring me? Lee sent me a picture of a Nerf gun and a pogo stick. Did you bring those, too?”

  I looked over at Dad, and we both rolled our eyes. Typical Lee—pawning his old toys off on Brad, just so he didn’t have to feel like he was giving them up or giving them away.

  “No, but you do get the baseball glove,” I told him, finally handing it over. “And there is no way you’re getting that pogo stick. I’m not looking after you when you break your arm falling off it.”

  “You have to look after me anyway.”

  “Listen to your sister,” Dad said. “And, Elle, tell Lee no pogo sticks.”

  “Way ahead of you.”

  * * *

  • • •

  I was sort of expecting Dad to be all dressed up, doused in too much aftershave, looking dorky and like he was trying too hard, in too-fancy shoes and a tie and everything. But once he’d gotten ready, he was just wearing some jeans and a sweater and the shoes he wore pretty much all year-round.

  He just looked like Dad.

  “All ready for your big date?” I asked, plastering on a toothy smile.

  “We’re just getting dinner, Elle.” He rolled his eyes, but looked excited. Happy. He looked like it was more than “just dinner.”

  I did my best to mimic how he looked whenever I went on dates with Noah: I planted my hands on my hips and narrowed my eyes, my chin jutting forward, and pretended I was looking at him over the top of glasses—a look I had seen way too many times and knew by heart. “I hope she remembers you’ve got a curfew, bud. Is she picking you up?”

  He laughed. “I’ve ordered an Uber. We’ll share a ride.”

  “Since when do you use Ubers?”

  “Since I finally worked up the courage to tell my kids I’m going on a date, so I can leave my car here and share a bottle of wine with a beautiful lady.”

  I groaned, pulling a face and leaning back. “God, you’re so cheesy. Does she know how cheesy you are?”

  Dad only laughed, squeezing my shoulder when he stopped. “Thanks for being so good about this, Elle. I know it’s gotta be a little weird for you. It’s weird for me, too.”

  I really didn’t think I was being as good about this as he seemed to believe I was, but I wasn’t about to correct him.

  “So did you make a decision on college yet?”

  I shook my head, a sinking feeling in my stomach at the mere mention
of it. “Not really. I’m gonna try to decide tonight and talk to the guys about it tomorrow. But, um, speaking of Lee and Noah…before you go…”

  I explained to him quickly about the plan for us to spend the summer at the beach house, helping get it shipshape and ready to sell, being there for the contractors and whoever the hell else needed to come by.

  It wasn’t that I’d planned to tell him when he only had a couple of minutes before his Uber arrived and he had to go, but I would’ve been lying if I said that wasn’t extremely convenient.

  “The whole summer?”

  “Well, just till the house sells. And obviously I can come back here to help out with Brad and babysit, and go buy milk and run Brad to soccer practice. Please, Dad? I really need this summer with Lee, especially if I’m going to end up at Harvard.”

  It was a dirty trick and he knew it, but that didn’t make it any less effective.

  Dad sighed. “If I hear one inkling of trouble or crazy parties or—”

  “Cross my heart. We’ll be good.”

  “Brad’s got soccer practice—”

  “Thursdays and Mondays, I know. And you’ve got that conference coming up, and probably more dates with Linda. I know, Dad.”

  It wasn’t like I hadn’t been doing this for the last few years already.

  Dad’s cell pinged loudly and a car drew up outside. He smiled indulgently at me before sighing again and hugging me. “You get to stay at the beach house as long as I can count on you. Deal?”

  “Deal. Deal, I swear. Thanks, Dad. You’re the best.”

  I waited on the doorstep to wave him off on his not-first date. When I got back inside and locked the door, I turned around to find Brad lurking in the hallway.

  “What’s that about Harvard?”

  Once Brad had been sworn to secrecy, and after we’d had dinner and sat down with a movie, I could tune out and spend a couple of hours mulling over what to do about college. I hated this pressure of having to choose—the sooner I made that call, the sooner this was all going to be over with.

  On the one hand, there was Berkeley. My mom’s alma mater, the college I’d always had my heart set on, the one close to home…the college I’d always planned to go to with Lee. Whenever I’d pictured college, it had involved Lee. We’d spent our entire lives together; I’d never expected this next chapter to be any different.

  On the other hand…

  Oh, man, I couldn’t forget that look on my dad’s face when he found out I’d actually gotten into Harvard.

  I remembered sitting on a hilltop with Noah last year, when he was trying to make the same decision about whether to accept his offer. We’d gone out to his favorite spot to talk about everything, and our relationship, and I’d told him he’d be crazy to give up an opportunity like that.

  Why was it so much harder to convince myself of that?

  I had really liked Boston when I’d been there over spring break….

  Maybe it was awful, but I’d never really even looked into the program at Berkeley. I’d never felt like I needed to. So right now, balancing it up with Harvard, which I’d actually spent some time researching, it mostly just boiled down to…

  Well, Lee.

  And as much as I loved my best friend, he couldn’t be the reason I chose a college.

  The thought hit me like a truck. And in that moment, I realized I’d made my decision.

  Chapter Nine

  As I walked up to the front door of the Flynn house the next day, I felt incredibly queasy. I’d almost turned around, like, thirty times on the walk over.

  I loved the Flynn house. I’d spent a lot of time here over the years; Lee and I were so close that it was practically a second home to me. I even had my own toothbrush in the bathroom. It was way fancier than my house; it even had its own pool. Even though that had made me just a little uncomfortable from time to time, it was still familiar, and I knew it as well as I knew my own home. But right now, it loomed large. Even the flowerbeds that June had recently had put in on either side of the path up the front lawn felt like they were closing in on me.

  I could do this.

  Lee would understand. He had to.

  As for Noah…well, he’d been the one talking about how we could’ve gotten an apartment together, right?

  I sighed. Who was I kidding? It wasn’t Noah I was worried about telling.

  Now that I was finally standing in front of the door, I gripped the handle and steeled myself. I could do this. It wasn’t like I’d kept a secret…not like that time I’d been dating Noah behind Lee’s back. It was just…a recent development. A surprise. And Lee would understand this was a decision I’d had to make on my own.

  I just hoped he would understand it wasn’t about me picking Noah over him.

  I tried the door; as expected, it was open.

  “It’s just me,” I yelled into the house. My voice echoed off the walls. Unlike the compact and joyfully messy beach house, this house was huge. A sprawling maze of rooms, one after the other, all clean lines and sharp corners and not a fleck of dust (or grain of sand) in sight. From the entryway, I could see all the way down the hallway, through the open-plan kitchen to the glass doors leading outside to the backyard and the pool.

  “Elle! Hey.” Noah popped up in the kitchen doorway, a mustard-smeared knife in his hand. “I didn’t know you were coming over. Or are you looking for Lee?”

  “Both of you, actually,” I mumbled, heading over to him. Noah went back to making his sandwich. I shook my head for a moment at the mere sight of it. Noah and Lee always made the biggest sandwiches, and this was one of the most impressive I’d seen. It had to be at least four inches tall.

  Noah caught me looking and smirked. “What? We had leftover beef.”

  “Yeah, and everything else.” I squinted at the sandwich. Spinach, tomatoes, and turkey, too, by the looks of it. “That could feed a village.”

  Noah scrunched his nose up. “What, of My Little Ponies? You want some?”

  I shook my head. I didn’t think I could stomach anything right now, but I also wouldn’t have been surprised if I took a bite and found anchovies or pineapple or something else totally wrong in there.

  “So what’s up?” he asked, grabbing the sandwich with both hands and wolfing down a huge bite. Unlike Lee, he chewed and swallowed before speaking again. “Or were you just missing me?”

  I wrung my hands.

  “I have to talk to you about something.”

  Noah paused, the sandwich halfway to his mouth. He set it back down slowly, eyebrows drawing together and forehead puckering. Those gorgeous, electric blue eyes pierced right through me as they searched mine, trying to understand.

  I couldn’t say I blamed him for looking so concerned: the whole “we need to talk” vibe was never a good one. Even if this time it maybe kinda was.

  I took a few more deep breaths before squaring my shoulders and telling him, “I got into Harvard. And I’ve decided to go.”

  I had a whole speech prepared. About how I’d just wanted to see if I could get in, how proud my dad was, how I’d been wait-listed, and how this had nothing to do with Noah or Lee…I didn’t know what had happened to the speech, but now the news was out there, and there was no taking it back.

  Noah stared at me.

  I squirmed, but he stayed silent.

  I sighed, caving. “Well, say something!”

  In an instant, Noah was grabbing me by the waist and hoisting me into the air. I shrieked when my feet left the ground and he spun me, cheering, and set me back down to kiss me fiercely.

  Noah’s kisses were intoxicating. The taste of his lips was addictive; the feel of his tongue in my mouth and his hands on my skin could make me forget the rest of the world ever existed; the warmth of his body so close to mine and the familiar smell of him could make me melt
.

  But right now, none of that could ease the gnawing anxiety that I would need to tell Lee about college, too.

  And then I heard, “Please tell me you guys aren’t engaged or pregnant. But if you are, I’d better be the maid of honor or the godfather.”

  Noah broke our kiss, his face falling slightly as it dawned on him that my decision to go to Harvard might be something for him to celebrate, but it meant letting Lee down. He drew back from me, hands falling from my hips, and looked between us before clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck.

  “I’ll, uh, give you guys some…space.”

  He grabbed his sandwich and vanished from the kitchen.

  Lee looked a little pale now, and I could hardly look him in the eye. He stepped over to me, hesitating before putting a hand on my arm. “Elle? What’s…what’s going on? Hey, come on,” he said, his voice soft and gentle, a small smile on his face as he guided me to one of the stools at the breakfast bar. “Don’t cry.”

  “I’m not crying,” I insisted, but my voice wavered and my vision had gone a little misty. I blinked a few times and grabbed Lee’s hands in both of mine. “It’s about college.”

  “What about it?”

  Oh God, I hated how peppy he sounded. How optimistic. How excited.

  And I was about to break his heart.

  I tried to remember my speech, what I’d thought over and planned to say to him last night, every word and turn of phrase I’d agonized over, but now I could only remember fractured snippets of it.

  “I know we always planned to go to Berkeley. Since forever. Like our moms did and, you know, because of Brad, and…God, Lee, I didn’t mean for this to happen. Okay? You’ve got to understand that. But it’s…You didn’t see the look on my dad’s face. He was so goddamn proud. And…and I am, too, obviously. It’s a huge deal. Not…not that Berkeley isn’t or anything but…just think of all the doors it might open, being out in Boston! And I swear, I wasn’t trying to keep secrets. Noah didn’t know either, and my dad didn’t know. I didn’t even tell Levi about it either. I only just got the acceptance from Harvard and—”