Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Plunges into Pennsylvania Read online

  Highest point: Mt. Davis—3,213 feet

  Lowest point: Delaware River—sea level

  Record low temperature: –42°F (1904)

  Record high temperature: 111°F (1936)

  Ratified the U.S. Constitution: December 12, 1787 (second after Delaware)

  Number of U.S. representatives: 19

  Number of counties: 67

  Number of national forests: 1 (Allegheny National Forest)

  Percentage of land covered by forest: Almost 60 percent (17 million acres)

  Borders: New York, New Jersey, West Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, and Ohio

  “Whiz Wit”

  It doesn’t matter how you order it—just don’t call it a “steak and cheese.”

  Cheesesteak 101

  The greasy, drippy sandwich that calls Philly home is more than just steak and cheese on a bun. To make a proper cheese steak, you’ll need to do the following: sauté thinly sliced beef (preferably ribeye) with melted cheese, and put the mixture on a crusty hoagie roll. You can put the cheese slices on top of the beef right before flipping it into the bun, or you can grill them together—the idea is to melt the cheese completely into the steak. Cheese choices include American, provolone, or Cheez Whiz, but Cheez Whiz is the favorite, by far. The most common additional ingredients: onions, green peppers, and mushrooms.

  You can get grilled steak and cheese on a roll almost anywhere in the world, but Philly natives claim that you can’t get a real cheesesteak outside of the city. One main reason is Amoroso’s Baking Company, where most cheesesteak vendors get their rolls. Amoroso’s rolls are distinctively flaky because its bakers use Philadelphia’s alkaline drinking water, nicknamed “Schuylkill Punch.”

  Pat vs. Joe

  Who made the first Philly cheesesteak? It depends on who you ask. In 1930, Pasquale “Pat” Olivieri was a hot dog vendor in South Philadelphia. One day, he put some beef on his grill next to the frankfurters, and a passing cabbie, lured by the aroma, asked for a steak sandwich. Soon, cabbies from around the city were stopping by Pat’s cart for the sandwiches. Eventually, they got so popular that Pat opened a restaurant—Pat’s King of Steaks—on Passyunk Avenue. It’s still around, grilling 24 hours a day.

  Story number two comes from Joe Vento, founder of Geno’s Steaks, which opened across the street from Pat’s in 1966. Pat may have been the first to put steak on a bun, but Vento claims that he was the first to put cheese in the sandwich, thereby inventing the cheesesteak.

  Either way, the two restaurants have been competing for the title of best cheesesteak ever since. Both Joe Vento and Frank Olivieri (Pat’s current owner and the founder’s nephew) claim that theirs is the superior sandwich . . . even though neither has actually tried his competition. The rivalry is good-natured, though: Olivieri says that if Geno’s ever went out of business, he’d “feel a void” and would have to buy his rival’s store and reopen it so he could fight with himself.

  Wit or Witout?

  No matter what restaurant you choose, you’ll want to keep some things in mind:

  1. Order efficiently. Natives just name the cheese and whether they want their steaks “wit” onions or “witout.” A standard order would be “Whiz wit.”

  2. There are variations on the traditional cheesesteak. Any of the following is acceptable:

  •Pizza steak—served with mozzarella and pizza sauce.

  •Western cheesesteak—served with barbecue sauce and jalapeños.

  •Cheesesteak hoagie—served with lettuce and tomato.

  •Cheesefake—for vegetarians.

  •Cheesesteak spring rolls—the innards of a cheesesteak wrapped in a crispy, fried shell.

  •South Street sushi—made by wrapping a slice of pizza from Lorenzo’s around a cheesesteak from Jim’s Steaks, both located on South Street.

  •And if those are too mundane, the Barclay Prime Steakhouse on 18th Street offers a $100 cheesesteak made with Wagyu beef, foie gras, black truffles, and served “wit” champagne.

  The Politics of Hunger

  The cheesesteak is no longer just a humble sandwich—not only is it known around the world, it has also found itself at the center of several political scandals. While on the campaign trail in 2004, presidential hopeful John Kerry visited Phila delphia and ordered a cheesesteak . . . with Swiss cheese. The Philadelphia Daily News wrote, “In Philadelphia, ordering Swiss on a cheesesteak is like rooting for Dallas at an Eagles game.” A few months later, George W. Bush said in a speech that he liked his cheesesteaks “Whiz wit.” But a Philadelphia newspaper discovered that the president actually preferred American, prompting speculation about why he wanted to hide his cheese preferences.

  Finally, in 2005, before Super Bowl XXXIX, Pennsylvania governor Ed Rendell bet Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney a Philly cheesesteak against a Boston lobster that the Philadelphia Eagles would beat the New England Patriots. Romney turned down the wager, saying the cheesesteak “had no nutritional value.” The Steelers took the title, but some Philadelphians are still smarting from the slight.

  Fly That Flag

  Have you ever looked closely at the symbols on Pennsylvania’s state flag?

  The Design

  •The seal in the center of the flag is Pennsylvania’s coat of arms. Philadelphia iron merchant Caleb Lownes created it in 1778 for use on the colony’s money. In 1799, the state legislature approved it for use on the Pennsylvania militia’s flag.

  •The coat of arms is different from the official state seal, but both incorporate some of the same images: the eagle, ship, plow, wheat bundles, and crossed olive branch and corn stalk.

  The Images

  •Because Pennsylvania was one of the colonies’ early trade and agricultural hubs, the images on the state flag mostly symbolize the state’s long history of commerce and farming. The harnessed workhorses, bundles of wheat, and plow represent agriculture; the ship represents trade.

  •The eagle atop the crest shows Pennsylvania’s commitment to being part of the United States, and the olive branch and corn stalk crossed at the bottom represent peace and prosperity.

  •The state’s motto—“Virtue, liberty, and independence”—appears on a red ribbon at the bottom.

  The Color

  •In 1907, the Pennsylvania’s General Assembly officially adopted the state flag as we know it today. Until then, various groups (like Civil War soldiers) had made their own variations. But on June 13, 1907, the General Assembly laid down some rules: the flag would include the state’s coat of arms embroidered on a blue background, which had to be the same color as the blue on the United States flag.

  Did You Know?

  The Philadelphia Phillies are the oldest continuous, one-name, one-city franchise in all of professional sports.

  Make Way for the Black and Gold

  The Pittsburgh Steelers got off to a slow start, but by the 1970s, they were an NFL powerhouse.

  In 1933, Pittsburgh resident Art Rooney paid $2,500 (the standard fee at the time) to begin a football franchise with the NFL. Legend has it—and Rooney has never denied it—that he won the money just days earlier betting on horses at the Saratoga Springs racetrack in New York.

  The team’s original name was the Pirates, the same moniker as the city’s professional baseball team and in whose stadium the new football team played. Rooney changed the name to the Steelers before the 1940 season, in honor of the Pittsburgh steel industry.

  From Down-and-Out to a Dynasty

  The Steelers were ranked low in the standings for a long time. In their first 40 years, they made it to the playoffs just once, in 1947. During that time, they also had only five winning seasons.

  But things changed in 1969 when Rooney hired Chuck Noll as head coach. Within a few years, the Steelers were a much better team. They made it to the playoffs in 1972 and 1973 and then, in 1974, won the AFC Championship game—and beat the Minnesota Vikings in the Super Bowl. Over the next six years, the Steelers made it to the Super Bowl four times .
. . and won them all.

  Since 1979, the Steelers have made it back to the Super Bowl twice: in 1995 (they lost to the Dallas Cowboys 27–17) and in 2006, when coach Bill Cowher, quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, running back Jerome Bettis, and wide receiver Hines Ward led the team to a 21–10 win over the Seattle Seahawks. The Steelers are one of only three teams in NFL history to win the Super Bowl five times. (The San Francisco 49ers and the Dallas Cowboys are the other two.)

  Stellar Steeler Stats

  •Pittsburgh has 17 members (including players, coaches, and owners) in the NFL Hall of Fame, the fourth-most of any team.

  •In 1938, the Steelers signed running back Byron White, the only NFL player to later become a Supreme Court justice. (He served on the nation’s highest court from 1962 until 1993.)

  •The only German-born member of the NFL Hall of Fame: Ernie Stautner, a Steelers defensive tackle from 1950 until 1963. He played for 14 years and, though smaller than most NFL athletes, was among the league’s most accomplished players. He’s the only Steeler to ever have his number (70) officially retired by the team.

  •John “Frenchy” Fuqua, a Steelers running back in the 1970s, was known as one of the flashiest dressers in the NFL. Off the field, he wore platform shoes—with live goldfish in the water-filled, see-through heels.

  •On November 16, 2008, the Steelers beat the San Diego Chargers by a score of 11–10. The Steelers got the unusual score of 11 by scoring three field goals for 9 points, and a safety, for 2. It was the first time in the NFL’s history (12,837 games) that a match-up ended with an 11–10 score.

  On the Road

  Here are six Pennsylvania roadside attractions worth stopping for.

  Shippensburg: Tiny World

  Ernest Helm originally built Tiny World as a place for his cats to play in the backyard. The first structure: a Victorian house with a scratchable carpeted staircase. Since that first house, he’s added many others: a church, a train station, a courthouse, a Texaco gas station (complete with little cars filling up), and more neighborhood houses. There are also two landscaped paths for visitors, and the whole thing is set on a hill, which Helm thinks adds to its appeal. According to him, “If it was on flat ground, it wouldn’t look so good.”

  Bedford: The Coffee Pot

  You can’t miss the 17-foot-tall building shaped like a coffee pot on Route 30. Built in 1927, it used to be a quick stop for travelers on the Lincoln Highway—a place to get a cup of hot coffee or buy gas. But over the years, the enormous coffee pot fell into disrepair and nearly ended up being demolished in the 1990s. A local grassroots effort managed to save the structure, one of only five coffee pot–shaped buildings left in the United States. In 2004, it was completely renovated and relocated. Today, the Coffee Pot sits at the entrance to the Bedford Fairgrounds.

  Erie: The Blockhouse

  Mad Anthony Wayne was a Revolutionary War general, born in Chester County, Pennsylvania, who served mostly in Canada but also had a brief stint at Valley Forge. In 1796, he died of a severe case of gout at a military post in Erie and was buried in a wooden coffin near the blockhouse—a tall, wooden defensive structure that often acted as a guard tower. That should have been the end of his story, but 12 years later, when his daughter was on her own deathbed, Wayne’s family dug up his remains to transport the bones to Radnor for reburial in the family’s Philadelphia plot about 400 miles away. But when they opened his coffin, they discovered that the body had hardly decomposed at all. Instead, it was almost perfectly preserved (save one foot). Moving the whole body so far would be difficult because the roads were rough and unpaved, the body was cumbersome, and the Waynes had only a small wagon. So the family’s doctor came up with an unusual solution: he’d boil the body and then cut it up. The bones could go on to Radnor, and the flesh would be reburied near the blockhouse.

  Over the years, the original blockhouse burned down, and the general’s remains were accidentally dug up again. But finally in 1880, the State of Pennsylvania decided to erect a memorial at the spot of Wayne’s death. Today, the blockhouse has been rebuilt and the structure dedicated to the general. Inside are a handful of exhibits, including a dummy in Wayne’s likeness with an overturned bottle of whiskey (one of his favorite drinks) lying near his head.

  Driftwood: Tom Mix’s Outhouse

  Tom Mix was a Pennsylvania-born Western movie star who made more than 300 movies—mostly in the silent era—before he died in a freak accident in 1940. (While driving in Arizona, he hit the brakes hard to avoid crashing into a ditch; a metal suitcase in the backseat flew forward, hit him in the head, and killed him.) Today, the Tom Mix Comes Home Museum in his birthplace of Driftwood includes all kinds of Tom Mix movie star memorabilia. Our favorite: the outhouse from his boyhood home.

  Frackville: The Pioneer Pie Woman

  Frackville’s 15-foot-tall Pioneer Woman (holding a pie) has developed a roadside reputation as one of Pennsylvania’s creepier attractions. Wearing a blank stare and a bright green dress, she stands outside Granny’s Restaurant on West Coal Street. The child who clutches her skirt mostly looks like a young girl (in a dress and apron), but her face is that of an older man—and the toy she’s holding is missing its head.

  Hallam: World’s Largest Shoe

  In 1948, millionaire shoe manufacturer Mahlon N. Haines built this white house in the shape of a workshoe as an advertising gimmick for his company. It was a five-level working house—25 feet high, 48 feet long, with three bedrooms and two baths. Haines invited his employees to stay in it for their birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions; he also offered the house to any honeymooning couple from a town whose stores sold his shoes. (Nights in the shoe included full maid service, butler, cook, and chauffeur.)

  Over the years, the Shoe House changed hands several times—it was an ice cream parlor for a while—but in 1987, Haines’s granddaughter bought it and turned it into a museum dedicated to her grandfather.

  More roadside attractions on page 271.

  A Capital City

  Pennsylvania’s state capital offers clean living and a whole lot of history.

  Town: Harrisburg

  Location: Dauphin County

  Founding: 1791

  Population (2008): 47,000

  Size: 11.4 square miles

  County Seat: Yes

  What’s in a Name?

  The town was named for John Harris Sr. and Jr., a father and son who were among the region’s first white settlers. John Sr. arrived around 1700 and set up a trading post (the first in the area) and ran a successful ferry service across the Susquehanna River. John Jr. laid out the town in 1785.

  Claims to Fame:

  •Stephen R. Reed has been mayor since 1981. In 2006, he was named the best mayor in the United States and the third-best in the world.

  •Harrisburg is one of the “greenest” cities in the United States. In 2007, it received the state’s Governor’s Award for Environmental Excellence, having reduced energy costs and consumption by 60 percent.

  •Harrisburg was a major troop dispatch point for the Union army during the Civil War. The reason: it was a state capital and it was just 40 miles from the Mason-Dixon line, the border with the Confederacy.

  •Camp Curtin (which today is uptown Harrisburg) processed and trained more soldiers during the Civil War than any other facility on either side.

  •Harrisburg is the site of the largest indoor agricultural complex in the world. The Pennsylvania State Farm Show Complex covers more than 24 acres and hosts 200 farm, animal, and trade shows each year.

  •There are two major American history museums in the city: the National Civil War Museum and the William Penn Museum.

  •In his 1957 autobiographical novel On the Road, Jack Kerouac mentioned Pennsylvania’s capital city: “That night in Harrisburg, I had to sleep in the railroad station on a bench; at dawn the station masters threw me out. I stumbled out of town with barely enough strength to reach the city limits. I knew I’d be arreste
d if I spent another night in Harrisburg. Cursed city!”

  •The Pennsylvania state capitol building is regarded as one of the most beautiful in the nation. The 272-foot-wide dome atop the structure was modeled after the one on St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome.

  Did You Know?

  Pennsylvania contains about 9 percent of all the wooded areas in the United States.

  Pennsylvania-isms:

  The Basics

  What is Pennsylvania-speak? Some of it is borrowed from Amish or eastern European influences, and some is just regional shorthand.

  Term: It’s all

  Meaning: There isn’t any more

  Example: After you request chipped ham (thinly sliced ham), the guy at the deli counter tells you, “Sorry, but it’s all.”

  Term: Leave

  Meaning: Let

  Example: “Hold on tight and don’t leave go.”

  Term: Outen (or close) the light

  Meaning: Shut off the light

  Example: “Before you go to sleep, outen the light.”

  Term: Redd (also red or read)

  Meaning: To straighten or tidy

  Example: “After dinner, go on upstairs and redd up your room.”

  Term: What for

  Meaning: Which

  Example: “What for golf club are you gonna use on this shot?”