Uncle John's Top Secret Bathroom Reader for Kids Only! Read online

  a) Werewolf b) Troll c) Vampire

  8. A wicked winged creature from Latin America. This monster has lizardlike skin, a row of spikes down its back, red eyes, huge fangs, long claws, and a bad temper.

  a) Chupacabra b) Poltergeist c) Goblin

  9. First discovered in the United States, this little dude with the big ears loves to wreak havoc on machines and appliances. If you smash your thumb with a hammer, this is the monster to blame.

  a) Leprechaun b) Swamp Thing c) Gremlin

  10. This ugly giant stays deep inside the mountains of Scandinavia and Germany but also likes to live under bridges. He’s almost indestructible, but expose him to sunlight and he’ll turn to stone…or explode.

  a) Sasquatch b) Troll c) Uncle John (Hey!)

  Answers

  1. a; 2. c; 3. b; 4. c; 5. a; 6. b; 7. c; 8. a; 9. c; 10. b

  The Tibetan name for Mount Everest is Chomolungma— “Goddess Mother of the World.”

  WHO WAS LEONARDO?

  You may know that Leonardo da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa, possibly the world’s most famous painting. But did you know he was also a musician, a scientist, an inventor, and an engineer?

  RENAISSANCE MAN

  Leonardo da Vinci was born in Italy in 1452 and lived during the period of world history now known as the Renaissance, which means “rebirth.” It was a time when many brilliant thinkers made breakthroughs in art, mathematics, and science. But Leonardo could do it all. He was so good at so many things that he became the model for what we today call a Renaissance man—someone who excels at everything he tries.

  Painter. As a 14-year-old boy in Florence, he was apprenticed to the famous artist Andrea del Verrocchio, but he quickly became better than his teacher. Leonardo’s landscapes transformed art. He found that he could create a sense of depth in his paintings by imitating the way the air blurs distant objects.

  Last Supper and The Virgin of the Rocks are two of his best-known paintings, but he is most famous for his painting of the mysterious smiling woman known as the Mona Lisa.

  Peanuts are fruits, not nuts.

  Code Writer. Leonardo da Vinci was ambidextrous and a good multitasker: he could draw a sketch with one hand and write a letter with the other hand at the same time. And when he wanted to keep something a secret, he wrote backward, from right to left. You need a mirror to read his writing.

  Anatomical Artist. Leonardo studied anatomy by dissecting corpses, and created a method of drawing human anatomy that is still used by medical artists today. He developed the technique of drawing cross-sections to show the inside of the head. And when he drew organs that lay on top of each other, he made the ones in front appear transparent.

  Engineer. At age 30, Leonardo wrote to the duke of Milan, who had an immense army equipped with the most modern weapons available at the time. Leonardo told him that he had studied all the latest “machines of war” and had come up with many improvements. He had designs for cannons, mortars, catapults, portable bridges, and armored vehicles. He wrote that he was able to “dry up the water of the moats” during sieges, destroy fortresses, and dig tunnels under walls and even under rivers. Modesty was not one of Leonardo’s qualities: in the same letter, he told the duke that he was a master of architecture, could sculpt in marble, bronze, and clay, and could paint “as well as any man, whoever he be.” The letter worked. The duke brought Leonardo to Milan and became his patron.

  The Sahara Desert in Africa is almost as big as the United States.

  Musician and Theatrical Designer. Leonardo played an early version of the violin, and designed and built them for others. For special events, he directed pageants, designed intricate sets and costumes, and even chose the music. For parties, he created mechanical robots that would open and shoot out fireworks.

  Scientist. Leonardo has been called the first modern scientist. He filled hundreds of notebooks with his sketches of and theories about nature. His careful observation of the movement of water, the flight of birds, and the speed of light and sound led him to some remarkable conclusions. For example, Leonardo was the first to see that it was the movement of air over a bird’s wing—not just its flapping—that gave it lift, an observation that wouldn’t be understood by science for another 300 years. He also made discoveries in meteorology and geology, and even learned the effect of the moon on the tides.

  Inventor. Leonardo da Vinci’s notebooks are crammed with cartoons, sketches for new paintings, even descriptions of what he had for lunch. But his genius is most obvious in the mind-boggling inventions he dreamed up—everything from a submarine to a flying machine.

  Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, and Mr. Rogers were all vegetarians.

  His motto was, “No obstacle will stop me,” and he lived by it. He was curious about the world around him and never stopped gathering information. His final years were spent with the king of France, who wanted nothing more than to talk with him. When Leonardo died at the age of 67, the king declared, “I do not believe that there has ever been a man born into the world who knew as much as Leonardo.”

  * * *

  LEONARDO’S DESIGNS

  Most of Leonardo’s inventions were never built because they were too advanced for the technology of his time. Here are some of the designs found in his notebooks:

  •Alarm clock

  •Robot

  •Contact lenses

  •Ball bearings

  •Shoes for walking on water

  •Compass

  •Crane

  •Pedometer

  •Diving bell

  •Eyeglasses

  •Gas mask

  •Helicopter

  •Air conditioner

  •Parachute

  •Steam engine

  •Pliers

  •Revolving stage

  •Screw-making machine

  •One-person battleship

  •Tank

  •Telescope

  •Water turbine

  •Multibarreled machine gun

  •Self-closing toilet lid

  Real title of Leonardo da Vinci’s famous painting, the Mona Lisa: La Gioconda.

  PALINDROMES

  Palindromes are words or sentences that are spelled the same way backward or forward. Here are some of our favorites.

  Not a banana baton.

  Put Eliot’s toilet up.

  Pull up, Bob, pull up.

  Wanna tan? Naw.

  If I had a hi-fi…

  Don’t nod.

  Won’t I? No stats on it now.

  Egad! Alas! A salad age.

  May a moody baby doom a yam?

  I, madam, I made radio! So I dared! Am I mad? Am I?

  No lemons, no melon.

  Name now one man.

  Gnu dung.

  Was it a rat I saw?

  Draw, O coward!

  Did Mom poop? Mom did.

  Now Eve, we’re here, we’ve won.

  Ten animals I slam in a net.

  Cigar? Toss it in a can. It is so tragic.

  No, son.

  Mr. Owl ate my metal worm.

  Emil, a sleepy baby, peels a lime.

  Some men interpret nine memos.

  UFO tofu.

  Waaaaaaaah! The average newborn baby spends 113 minutes a day crying.

  CRAZY TEACHERS

  Teachers are supposed to set a good example for kids. So what were these guys thinking?

  FLYING SCHOOL

  In March, 2004, a student at Miami Beach High School asked permission to jump out of the 2nd floor classroom window—and the teacher let him! Not only that, he bet the student $20 that he couldn’t do it without being injured. Bad idea: The teacher lost the $20 (the student was uninjured)…and his job.

  ACT YOUR AGE

  In 1995 Winchester Elementary in Memphis, Tennessee, held a special dance to reward students for their good behavior. When the dance was over, two teachers got into an argument: one told the kids to wait inside by the door; the other told them to go
outside. How did they resolve their differences? By punching and hitting each other. Result: Both teachers were fired for their bad behavior—at the good-behavior dance.

  IS THIS BEING TAPED?

  In 2004 a 14-year-old student was misbehaving at Oran Elementary School in Missouri. How did the teacher handle it? She duct-taped his hands, arms, and legs to his desk and taped his mouth shut. When his father complained that the boy had “nearly suffocated,” the teacher, a 21-year veteran, was forced to resign.

  Abraham Lincoln has been the subject of more than 8,000 books, second only to Jesus.

  TREE SNORKELING

  No, it’s not a Dr. Seuss story—it’s a new sport that takes tree climbing to the extreme.

  BARKING UP THE RIGHT TREE

  Using gear borrowed from rock climbers and a crossbow (we’ll tell you why in a second), scientists, researchers, moms, dads, sisters, and brothers all over the world are going out on a limb, literally. They’re climbing trees—serious trees, more than 200 feet tall and 400 years old.

  LEARNING THE ROPES

  The crossbow is used to shoot an arrow with a length of fishing line attached over the lowest branch of the tree, which is often 100 feet off the forest floor. The climbing rope, which is tied to the other end of the fishing line, is then pulled up over the branch.

  Once the rope is anchored, the climber climbs up by using two ascenders, which clamp around the rope. The ascenders slide upward easily but lock in place so they won’t slide down. With one ascender attached to a stirrup and the other attached to a sling (you sit in the sling), a tree climber goes up the rope like an inchworm: stand up…sit down…stand up…sit down…again and again until reaching the branch. Really tall trees may require you to repeat the whole process several times.

  Fact from the nail file: It is possible to get a fingernail transplant.

  BRANCHING OUT

  Tree climbers say that something weird happens when they climb a really tall tree: Time slows down. The air becomes brilliant. The forest sounds are sharper. The trunk of the tree they’re climbing seems to be whispering to them. There is only them and the tree. This is tree time. They’re in “the zone” with the tree, and it’s a feeling that all tree climbers love.

  Before you know it, you’ve gone as high as you can go. The branches above are too thin to hold your weight. The people on the forest floor below look like dolls. Time to go back down? No way! Now it’s time to take a snooze in your “treeboat.” Treeboats are hammocks equipped with stabilizers and anchors that keep the climber safely tucked inside.

  Coming down the tree can be just as fun as ascending. You rappel down like a rock climber, bouncing off the side of the trunk all the way to the ground. Then it’s time to retrieve the climbing rope and find a new, taller tree!

  TREE-CLIMBING TERMS

  Tree surfing: When a tree climber encounters strong winds, the tree begins to sway. Each gust of wind is like a huge wave, swinging you and the tree back and forth. Before long, the whole forest is rippling with the wind. Now you’re tree surfing.

  Tree snorkeling: That’s when you move from one tree to another without coming back down to the ground (picture Tarzan with a lot of safety gear). Scientists and researchers studying the health and biodiversity of the forest canopy use tree-snorkeling techniques to save “down time”—time on the forest floor or time lost while climbing.

  In Arab countries, the Red Cross is known as the Red Crescent.

  Bark bite: The nickname for the scrapes you get when you rub up against a tree. Like a vertical road rash, only the road is the tree bark.

  Ninja climbs: Sneaky climbing…when the forest rangers aren’t looking.

  Tree dandruff: The bits of bark and lichen that fall through the canopy when they’re dislodged by climbers.

  Ready to try your hand (and feet) at tree snorkeling? Turn to the Resource Guide on page 285.

  Are they nuts? The pecan is the official state tree of Texas.

  UNCLE SAM

  Uncle John wants YOU…to read this article!

  SAM I AM

  People sometimes refer to the United States or its government as “Uncle Sam.” And Uncle Sam—a tall, white-haired man with a beard, dressed in striped pants and top hat—has become a national symbol. But was there ever a real Uncle Sam? You bet.

  His name was Sam Wilson. He didn’t have a white beard, and he never wore striped pants, but he did wear a top hat. He was a meat supplier for American troops during the War of 1812. Meat sent to the army was stamped with the initials “U.S.,” for United States, which meant it had passed inspection and was fit to eat.

  One day a meat inspector came into Sam Wilson’s shop. As he stamped the approved cuts with “U.S.,” a worker joked that the letters stood for “Uncle Sam,” Wilson’s nickname. The joke caught on and soon all government supplies sent to the troops were said to be from “Uncle Sam.”

  That’s the legend…but is it true? In 1961, someone found an 1830 newspaper article quoting a soldier who happened to be in Wilson’s store when the employee joked about the initials. That was enough to convince Congress, and they issued a proclamation declaring Sam Wilson to be the country’s original Uncle Sam.

  Q: What do Eskimo Pies, Ovaltine, and Aquafresh toothpaste have in common? A: They all contain seaweed.

  NAVEL GAZING

  At last you have an excuse to stare at your belly button.

  BELLY BUTTON ANALYSIS

  Dr. Gerhard Reibmann, a psychologist from Germany, believes your belly button can tell your personality type. In his book, Understanding Yourself through Your Navel, he says that there are six types of belly buttons. Which one do you have?

  1. Horizontal Navel: This type is oblong and spreads sideways across the stomach. People with horizontal navels are complex, multifaceted, and highly emotional.

  2. Vertical Navel: If your belly button stretches up and down, it shows that you are a self-confident person who is generous and emotionally stable.

  3. Outie: This belly button sticks out. It reveals an optimistic person who embraces life with enthusiasm.

  4. Innie: If your belly button is bowl-shaped or concave, it means you are gentle, loving, and sensitive, but prone to worry. People with innies are delicate.

  5. Off-Center Navel: An off-center belly button indicates a fun-loving, unusual individual who experiences big highs and big lows.

  6. Round Navel: This belly button is evenly shaped and round. If you have one of these, it means you are even-tempered with a quiet, retiring personality.

  7. No Navel: You’re an alien!

  GROOVY GROUNDHOGS

  Your mom won’t let you get a dog? Maybe you can talk her into a pet groundhog…

  WOODY WOODCHUCK

  Groundhogs (also called woodchucks) live in the eastern and midwestern United States and Canada. These animals are about the size and weight of an adult cat, with small, round ears and black eyes and nose. They have coarse gray fur on their upper parts and yellowish orange fur on their under-parts.

  Groundhogs love to burrow. In the wild, these furry creatures are usually found in their tunnels underground. Fruits and vegetables are their favorite foods, which is why they’re often caught in people’s gardens and why they’ve made the official pest list.

  But not everyone thinks of them as outdoor pests—some people actually keep them indoors as pets.

  BASIC TRAINING

  Like cats, groundhogs are fussy about staying clean and can be trained to use a litter box. Their teeth and claws must be kept trimmed—otherwise they’ll do the trimming themselves on your furniture and carpets. They can be very loving and playful but need plenty of exercise and cannot live in a cage. Since groundhogs live to dig, it’s a good idea to provide them with a way to do that, or they might dig a hole through your floor!

  How about you? Researchers say schoolchildren become more restless on cloudy days.

  Groundhogs are hibernating animals, so they tend to doze a lot in the winter. That means y
ou don’t have to worry about entertaining them, but on the other hand, they can get lonely and long for a mate.

  Most animal experts don’t recommend keeping a wild animal as a pet, but there are breeders who raise groundhogs for that purpose (some states require you to license your groundhog just like a dog). In captivity, groundhogs can live to be 10 years old, and people who have pet groundhogs say they are as cute and lovable as any family cat.

  And speaking of groundhogs, here’s the story of…

  GROUNDHOG DAY

  February 2 is the mid-point between winter solstice (when the sun is farthest south) and vernal equinox (the first day of spring, when night and day are the same length). It has been celebrated for centuries as a sign that soon it will be time for farmers to plant their crops.

  The Germans had a planting superstition centered around badgers. If a badger saw its shadow when it came out of hibernation, that meant more winter was to come and planting should be put off for a few weeks. If it didn’t see its shadow, warm weather was on its way and planting could begin. When German settlers came to Pennsylvania in the 1700s, they found no badgers, but lots of hibernating groundhogs, so they switched animals and created Groundhog Day.

  Yummy! Seventy-five percent of the world’s maple syrup comes from Canada.

  In the 1880s, a group of friends in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, went into the woods on February 2 to look for groundhogs. This outing became an annual tradition, and a local newspaper editor nicknamed the seekers the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club. By 1887 the search had become an official event and the groundhog had been named Punxsutawney Phil.

  Phil ’er Up!

  There have been lots of Phils over the years. Today the official Phil is a pet groundhog who lives in a climate-controlled habitat next to the Punxsutawney Library. Phil was already famous in Pennsylvania, but in 1993 the movie Groundhog Day made him a national star. Crowds gather every February 2 to watch Phil come out of his burrow and look for his shadow.