Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Plunges into Canada Read online

  Hill hung from the rope and, hand over hand, hoisted himself along until he got to the breeches buoy and untangled the guide-lines. Close enough to Lofberg and Harris to shout encouragement, he rode the breeches buoy back to the roof of the power station and the rescue went forward. By noon, both cold and hungry men had made it back to shore.

  The barge company contemplated recovering the scow but decided against it due to the difficulty, the cost, and the probability that it would eventually come loose on its own. Nearly a century later, though, it hasn’t budged.

  Nature’s Lightshow

  There’s a spot in northern Canada where spectacular and mysterious colored lights shimmer across the night sky. Welcome to the wonderful world of the aurora borealis.

  The Bard’s Ballet

  In the poem “The Ballad of the Northern Lights,” Robert Service wrote about a mining team going crazy under the aurora borealis. Two committed suicide; the third staked a worthless claim on what he believed was the lights’ source: a radium-filled mountain.

  The northern lights have that kind of reputation: a mind-boggling phenomenon that drives mere mortals—and electronic equipment—bonkers. When the lights are at their brightest, radio and satellite transmissions are disrupted, and GPS guidance systems can send you off to unexpected places.

  The aurora borealis was named after the Roman goddess Aurora.

  What’s in a Name?

  The French philosopher Pierre Gassendi gave the lights their best-known name in 1621: Aurora after the Roman goddess of light, and Boreas, Greek for “north wind.” The Cree call the lights the “Dance of the Spirits,” and tribal legends say the lights are either spirits in the sky playing catch with a walrus skull, or the torches of the spirits of the dead as they go to the afterlife.

  Ben Gets it Wrong

  For centuries, people considered the lights to have religious or magical origins, but Benjamin Franklin wasn’t having any of that. In 1778 he claimed to have solved the mystery of the northern lights: they were, Franklin said, merely electrical charges caused by snow and moisture. Although a step closer to the truth than most who came before him, he was wrong.

  Modern scientists believe that magnetically charged plasma from the Sun is the cause. The Sun shoots out streams of ionized gas, or the “solar wind.” When this wind comes in contact with the Earth’s magnetic field, the ions are captured and pulled toward the north and south poles. Some ions also get pulled down into the Earth’s ionosphere, about 100 to 130 kilometers (62 to 80 miles) overhead, where they collide with gases, creating a huge neon light without a glass tube to contain it. Different gases give different colors: at high altitudes, oxygen emits dark red and green; at lower altitudes, blues and brighter reds are from nitrogen.

  Auroras in Space

  The lights usually look like a curtain when viewed from the ground, but from space, they’ve been described as looking like a “monk’s haircut”: a giant oval surrounding each of the magnetic poles. And they don’t just appear on Earth but on other planets as well, and even on some of the planets’ moons. Space probes and the Hubble Space Telescope have recorded vivid aurora activity on Mars, Venus, Saturn, Jupiter, and on three of Jupiter’s largest moons.

  Best Light Show Ever

  The amount of solar wind is always changing, so sunspots (intense magnetic activity that appears on the surface of the Sun and leaves a visible dark spot) can launch great amounts of plasma into space, sometimes hurtling toward Earth. This magnetic intensity creates much bigger aurora light shows at our poles. The spring and autumn equinoxes are a time when the lights are most common because that is typically when we receive more of the Sun’s plasma spews. The aurora borealis is the northern version, and the aurora australis (“of the south”) is the southern equivalent. But don’t even think about trying to go there; most of the best viewing areas down there are covered with water or ice.

  The aurora borealis lights up the sky over Lake Laberge, Yukon.

  Clever Canadians

  If, as Mark Twain once suggested, accidents are the greatest of all inventors, then Canadians should keep being careless. Whether accidental or on purpose, these inventions have proved to be both innovative and useful.

  The Sicard snowblower cleared the way for easier snow removal.

  Blowing it the First Time

  In 1870 New Brunswicker Robert Carr Harris took out a patent for the first snowblower. It didn’t really work and, over the years, several other people tried to improve on the machine. But none of those worked well enough, either. Finally, in 1925, Arthur Sicard of Montreal developed a blower that actually did. Although Sicard’s contraption would be considered cumbersome by today’s standards, it was downright innovative at the time. A truck fitted with a tractor motor pushed a snow scooper. Attached to the vehicle were movable chutes that blew the collected snow away from streets, driveways, and sidewalks. Not surprisingly, Canadians laid down their shovels and cleared a path for the Sicard snowblower.

  The Bombardier Ski-Doo made winter travel much more tolerable for people living in towns that didn’t plow their snowy back roads.

  Ski-Doo from a Ski-Dog

  Many people assume that Bombardier (the company that makes the Ski-Doo and Sea-Doo…and jets) got its name from bomber planes. Not so. Instead, credit Quebec-born Joseph-Armand Bombardier (1907–64), who in 1937 began making vehicles that could run on roads thick with snow. His first invention: a bus-like vehicle that carried up to a dozen people. That was a great help to residents in Quebec because most towns in that province didn’t plow their roads in winter. By 1949, though, Quebec lawmakers mandated that towns at least plow their main roads, so Bombardier set about inventing the personal off-road snowmobile. Originally dubbed the “Ski-Dog,” a typo in the first promotional ad mislabeled it the “Ski-Doo,” and the name stuck. Bombardier also went on to manufacture airplane and railroad parts. The recreational piece of the company split off from its parent in 2003.

  From Cane to Able

  British Columbia resident Norm Rolston was tired of watching his aunt struggle with two unwieldy canes to help her walk, so he decided to come up with a better option. Rolston experimented with a stroller and a shopping cart, and settled on a hybrid—the Able Walker, which he patented in 1986. Initially, doctors hesitated to prescribe the walkers. Similar wheeled walkers at the time were precarious, often tipping and causing falls. But the Able Walker had fully pivoting wheels that allowed users to turn corners easily. It also employed easy-to-apply brakes. Rolston and his wife marketed the device the old-fashioned way with flyers and legwork, and within two years, the Able Walker had raked in more than $5 million.

  Whistle While You Work

  Before the 1980s, athletic whistles usually came with a small ball (called a “pea”) inside; the rolling ball created an attention-getting warble. The problem was that the peas could jam, turning the whistle into a whisper.

  Professional basketball referee Ron Foxcroft became tired of faulty pea whistles after an embarrassing moment at the 1976 Montreal Summer Olympics. Witnessing a foul during the gold-medal basketball game between the United States and Yugoslavia, Foxcroft blew his whistle but couldn’t produce a sound—the pea had jammed. The game went on, the uncalled foul outraged the crowd, and Foxcroft vowed he’d never be at the mercy of a pea whistle again. Back at home in Ontario, Foxcroft developed a whistle that warbled loudly using a series of tuned chambers instead of a moving pea. Today, the Fox 40 Pealess Whistle, introduced in 1987, is used by sports referees, police departments, and military units around the world.

  Blowing Hot and Cold

  During the 1800s, indoor spaces (in Canada and elsewhere) were difficult to cool in the summer and heat in winter. The available heat sources (mostly fireplaces and wood-burning stoves) were also risky to home and health due to poor ventilation. So what was a train passenger to do but swelter or freeze?

  Much to the delight of North American rail riders in the mid-1800s, Canadian military colonel a
nd politician Henry Ruttan decided to change that. Utilizing the natural airflow of a train’s forward motion, he invented a system whereby outside air was forced into a series of ducts. Ruttan first focused on a cooling system—air was cooled, cleaned, humidified, and then circulated through the carriages. Then he modified the system to provide heat, creating the world’s first air-conditioning/heating system.

  Cutting through the Fog

  Robert Foulis, a Scotsman turned Canadian, invented the first automated, steam-powered foghorn in 1859. Inspired by the resounding bass notes of his daughter’s piano playing, Foulis discovered that a loud, consistent low note could carry through the fog. He erected the world’s first steam-powered foghorn on Partridge Island in New Brunswick’s Saint John Harbour that same year. But despite the importance of Foulis’s invention, he never got around to patenting his foghorn, so he never earned a cent from it.

  At just 12 years old, Rachel Zimmerman invented the Blissymbol Printer.

  Symbol for Your Thoughts

  In the mid-1980s, 12-year-old Ontario student Rachel Zimmerman needed an idea for her school science fair. Already something of a computer geek, she knew about Blissymbols, a series of pictograms invented by linguist Charles K. Bliss in the 1940s. Bliss had intended for the symbols to be used to surmount language barriers—he’d hoped that the group of pictograms would be universal, recognized by all no matter a person’s native language. Zimmerman thought, why not create a Blissymbol computer program and interface so people of any language could communicate with each other via computer? Using a custom touch pad and a printer, Zimmerman invented the Blissymbol Printer, which allowed users to choose images that matched their thoughts. The computer then translated the symbols into written words that could be stored for later use, printed, or even sent by e-mail. The Blissymbol Printer went on to compete in Canada’s World Exhibition of Achievement of Young Inventors, where Zimmerman won a silver medal.

  RAF Hurricane aircraft pilotswore Franks Flying Suits.

  Whiz

  When a body is accelerated at high speeds, the g-force (force of gravity) pressure pushes its blood to the lower extremities, leaving the heart without adequate blood to pump to the brain. Because of this, fighter pilots often fell victim to confusion, blackouts, and sometimes death. Suits to counteract that force had been around since the early 1900s, but none ever worked well enough. Enter Ontario scientist Wilbur Franks and his 1940 invention, the Franks Flying Suit. Water- or air-filled pads in the rubber suit stabilized the bottom half of the body, keeping g-force pressure in check and stopping blood from pooling there, preventing the confusion and blackouts. Today, all antigravity suits used by astronauts and fighter pilots are based on the basic design of the Franks Flying Suit.

  Learning a Lot from a Dummy

  The year 1989 saw a breakthrough in CPR (cardio pulmonary resuscitation) training when Dianne Croteau, a graduate of Ottawa’s Carleton University, and her partner Richard Brault invented the Actar 911 mannequin. The new design was composed only of the human head and chest, instead of the full-body models used before. This meant the mannequin was less expensive to make and easier to transport. Three years later, Croteau and Brault introduced the Actar 911 Infant, a life-sized, full-body model of a human baby, to help teach CPR for young children. Today, these mannequins are used to train emergency responders around the world.

  Take out the Papers and the Trash

  Every time you put out your garbage, spare a thought for Winnipeg inventor Harry Wasylyk and his Ontario buddy Larry Hanson. They created the first lightweight disposable plastic trash bags in 1950 and sold the rights to the Union Carbide Company, where Hanson was employed. In the 1960s, Union Carbide started selling Glad garbage bags.

  No More Getting Caulky

  Most “do-it-yourself” enthusiasts are familiar with the caulking gun, which helps seal glass into windows or seals cracks in baseboards. This ingenious invention was the brainchild of a handyman named Theodore Witte from Chilliwack, British Columbia. In 1894 Witte was inspired by the plunging action of a cake-decorating kitchen utensil, and wondered if it would work to force caulk into cracks. Before that, most people had to use a blade to smear the caulk into place. Of course, caulk is much thicker than frosting, so Witte developed a ratchet-powered “gun” that used a trigger to provide extra leverage and control.

  A World War II soldier uses a walkie-talkie.

  Can You Hear Me Now?

  A boat trip in 1927 on Lake Erie fueled nine-year-old Al Gross’s fascination with two-way communication after the radio operator let him listen to transmissions on the wireless. Gross spent the next three years experimenting with salvaged radio equipment in his parents’ Toronto basement. By the time Gross was in college, he was working on handheld, two-way radios, and in 1938, he patented the first “walkie-talkie,” used to aid Allied forces during World War II. Gross then went on to pioneer the CB (citizens band) radio, the telephone pager, and early cordless phones.

  Setting the Pace

  In 1949, National Research Council engineer John Alexander Hopps was in Ottawa trying to find out whether it was possible to use microwaves to pasteurize beer. But he was called away from that important work to travel to Toronto to assist doctors W. G. Bigelow and J. C. Callaghan in their research at the Banting Institute. The doctors had been experimenting with using hypothermia to slow the heart during heart surgery. Only one problem: there was a fine line between slowing a heart and stopping it. With Hopps’s help, they discovered they could use jolts of electricity to restart the heart.

  This accidental discovery was more significant than their hypothermia work. Hopps went on to produce a pacemaker/defibrillator for human heart patients in 1950. That first model weighed three pounds, was the size of a toaster, and had to be plugged into the wall. But it led to more innovation, and in 1958, a Swedish team created the first fully implantable pacemaker. Hopps himself had a pacemaker implanted in 1984 and lived for another 15 years.

  What Didn’t This Guy Invent?

  After watching injured World War II veterans struggle with manual wheelchairs, Hamilton, Ontario, native George Klein decided to create the first electric wheelchair in 1952. The device allowed users the freedom to move backward and forward using a simple joystick. Klein also made the first microsurgical staple gun, helped to develop the first nuclear reactor outside the United States, and created the gearing system on the Canadarm, the remote-controlled mechanical arm used to capture and repair satellites and move cargo on the U.S. space shuttle. In 1995 Klein was inducted into the Canadian Science and Engineering Hall of Fame.

  Assaulting an Old Battery

  Lewis Urry from Pontypool, Ontario, was working as an engineer at Union Carbide’s National Carbon Company when he was asked to figure out how to make their Eveready common battery last longer. Deciding it would cost too much to significantly improve the old standard, Urry scrapped that model and came up with a whole new battery. In 1959, after much experimentation with a myriad of substances, he created the first alkaline battery—the same kind we use today. In 1980 Eveready became Energizer. Urry’s alkaline keeps going and going and going…

  Postage stamps commemorate George Klein and the Canadarm.

  Wit & Wisdom

  Laurence Peter, originator of the “Peter Principle” (which says, “In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence”), had plenty to say about subjects besides business.

  •“The noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it.”

  •“Going to church doesn’t make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.”

  •“If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.”

  •“If you don’t know where you’re going, you will probably end up somewhere else.”

  •“Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.”

  •“There are two kinds of egotists: Those who a
dmit it, and the rest of us.”

  •“When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream, and shout.”

  •“The advantage of modern means of communication is they enable you to worry about things in all of the world.”

  •“Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings.”

  •“Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.”

  •“Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?”