Uncle John’s Impossible Questions & Astounding Answers Read online

  Nice Benefits, Though

  Bill Clinton. The presidential salary has been raised intermittently since George Washington was offered $25,000 in 1789, equal to about $1 million today (he turned it down). In 1969 the presidential salary was raised from $100,000 to $200,000. Adjusted for inflation, that netted Clinton around $230,000 in today’s money—by far the lowest amount of any president. (When Nixon made that same amount in 1969, it would have been equal to $930,000 today.)

  In 1999 Clinton signed a bill that increased the chief executive’s salary to its current rate of $400,000 per year, but the increase didn’t go into effect until 2001, as the Constitution doesn’t allow for a sitting president to get a raise.

  And to the Democracy, for Which It Stands

  The United States is a republic. Why?

  And to the Democracy, for Which It Stands

  Despite what politicians always say about “the will of the people,” the United States is not a true democracy, but a constitutional republic. What does that mean? In the late 1700s, when the Founding Fathers were setting up the new government, they had to decide what kind they wanted: monarchy, democracy, or republic. The idea of a monarchy was quickly quashed because that was the kind of government from which the new nation had just gained its independence. So it came down to democracy versus republic. The founders wanted to set up a system that prevented tyranny—not just by its leaders, but “tyranny-by-majority,” or “mob rule,” otherwise known as democracy. So they chose a republic.

  What’s the difference? In a true democracy, the people elect their leaders, and the people vote for the laws. In a republic, the people elect leaders who represent them, and the leaders pass the laws. In a constitutional republic, the leaders make and enforce those laws in accordance with a written set of rules outlined in the Constitution. This system of checks and balances ensures that no single branch of government—executive, congressional, or judicial—has too much power. At the same time, it also ensures that “we the people” don’t have too much power, either.

  More than two centuries on, the Founding Fathers’ experiment is still working (for the most part).

  Will You Still Need Me?

  Which country has the largest percentage of its population of age 64 still in the workforce?

  Visionaries

  What does a British “vision clearance executive” do?

  Will You Still Need Me?

  Mozambique. It leads the world with more than 77 percent of its elderly people still working. Due to corrupt regimes, widespread poverty, and the lack of social safety nets, Africa has nine of the top ten countries in which senior citizens are still “economically active.” Mozambique is followed by Malawi, Ghana, the Central African Republic, Tanzania, Gambia, Uganda, Congo, and Madagascar. The Solomon Islands—the only top-ten country not in Africa (it’s in the South Pacific)—rounds out the list with 58 percent of its seniors still toiling away.

  Visionaries

  He washes windows. Between the government not wanting to demean public workers, and private sector employers wanting to make their job openings look more appealing in classified ads, the English workforce has become a lot more…fancy-sounding. Result: A rat catcher is now a “rodent operative,” a postal worker is a “dispatch services facilitator,” a garbage collector is a “waste removal engineer,” a receptionist is the “head of verbal communications,” a gardener is a “technical horticultural maintenance officer,” a dishwasher is a “crockery cleaning operative,” and a school cafeteria lunch lady is an “education centre nourishment production assistant.” We assume that would make Uncle John a “lavatory experience enrichment executive.”

  Pressing Matters

  Where does the U.S. rank on the list of top-20 countries with the most freedom of the press? And what’s the world’s worst nation in which to be a journalist?

  Pressing Matters

  The U.S. ranks #20. Each year, the human rights organization Reporters Without Borders releases its “Press Freedom Index,” which ranks countries by how easy or difficult it is for reporters to do their job. The data comes from questionnaires sent to media centers around the world, who report on “direct attacks on journalists and other indirect sources of pressure.” What kinds of actions can lower a nation’s score? The government censoring the news, failing to create a safe environment for journalists, or directly harming them. (The PFI doesn’t measure how accurate the country’s reporting is, just how free the journalists are to report it.)

  According to the 2010 Index, the seven top-rated nations are all in Europe—Finland, Iceland, Norway, the Netherlands, Sweden, Switzerland, and Austria. For the second year in a row, the United States was #20, up from 56th place in 2006. Britain came in at #19; Canada came in at #21.

  What’s the worst country in the world to be a journalist? Eritrea, located on the Horn of Africa. The government there has closed down all private press agencies since 2001, and has reportedly executed several journalists. Rounding out the bottom five countries in the world for journalists: Burma, Iran, Turkmenistan, and North Korea. (As you’ll discover on the next two pages, North Korea is a great place…if you’re a dictator.)

  Long Game

  How many holes-in-one did North Korean leader Kim Jong-il claim that he made on his first-ever golf outing?

  Short Game

  Why did Kim Jong-il release an advertisement for a “wonder drug” that makes people taller?

  Long Game

  According to the North Korean Supreme Leader, he made 11 holes-in-one the first time he ever played golf. His final score: 38 under par. The unbelievable game took place in 1994 when Kim played a round at the country’s newest golf course in Pyongyang. Every single one of Kim’s 17 bodyguards swore that his version of events was accurate. Kim submitted his accomplishment to Guinness World Records, but so far, they’ve failed to officially recognize it.

  Short Game

  It was a ruse. Kim’s real goal was to rid North Korea of short people. In 1989 he released a pamphlet advertising a wonder drug that could make people taller. And then, when short people showed up to claim their free “cure,” they were rounded up and, according to press reports, “sent away to different uninhabited islands in an attempt to end their ‘substandard’ genes from repeating in a new generation.” What makes this even odder is that Kim himself is only 5'3" tall—he hides it by wearing platform shoes. A few more weird things about the diminutive dictator:

  • According to his official biography, Kim rarely defecates or urinates.

  • He once tried to end his country’s famine by breeding giant rabbits.

  • Kim’s staff inspects his rice to ensure that every grain is the exact same size.

  Shape-Shifters

  Who was Gerry? What’s a mander? When did these two combine? What do they mean today?

  Power Play

  In Iran, one person has more power than the president. Who is it, and what is his title?

  Shape-Shifters

  Gerrymander is a term that means “to re-divide a state or county into election districts so as to give one party a majority.” The term was coined in 1812 when Massachusetts governor Elbridge Gerry redrew Congressional lines in order to give his Democrat-Republican party an advantage over the Federalists. When a Boston newspaper ran a political cartoon showing that one of Gerry’s new districts looked a lot like a salamander, the word gerrymandering was born. The bad publicity cost Gerry the election.

  Power Play

  Islamic cleric Ayatollah Ali Khamenei holds the position of Supreme Leader of Iran. He’s had the title since Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini’s death in 1989. (The word Ayatollah means “Sign of God” in Farsi.) The Supreme Leader is not elected; he is appointed for life by an elected body called the Assembly of Experts. In addition to functioning as Iran’s chief of state, the Supreme Leader is commander-in-chief of the military and heads up Iran’s intelligence-gathering and security forces. By contrast, the president is elected by popular vote f
or a four-year term, but serves at the will of the Supreme Leader. However, the Supreme Leader doesn’t have absolute power—the Assembly of Experts is in charge of his succession and can depose him if they deem it necessary.

  It’s Not the Size…

  Where do 714 million people use one million machines for four weeks every five years?

  …It’s How You Use It

  What two governmental superlatives belong to the Pitcairn Islands in the South Pacific?

  It’s Not the Size…

  India is the world’s largest democracy, with 714 million eligible voters and more than one million electronic voting machines. The massive country—population 1.15 billion—has 30 main languages, six prominent religions, and a hierarchical caste system that dates back millennia. It has had free elections only since 1947, when the country gained independence from England. In a nation that big, elections are no small task. There are six national parties and 40 regional parties, with more than 4,600 candidates, requiring 6.5 million workers to oversee the process. As such, the Indian elections last for about a month. Within a few years, the nation is predicted to have more people than every other democracy combined.

  …It’s How You Use It

  It’s the world’s smallest democracy, and the one where the highest percentage of its citizens—21 percent—are directly involved in government. As of 2010, the Pitcairn Islands (the island where the mutineers of the HMS Bounty settled in 1790) has 48 residents, 10 of whom sit on the Island Council. But everyone chips in: The public works department consists of every Pitcairn citizen between the ages of 15 and 65. A visiting ship is cause for a national celebration: Every single one of Pitcairn’s residents will turn out for a public dinner to honor the rare guests.

  Democracy Inaction

  What caused an uproar in an Annandale, Virginia, neighborhood association in 2011 after they elected Ms. Beatha Lee to serve as their president?

  Democracy Inaction

  The residents were upset because they didn’t elect who they thought they had elected. The vote took place at the February 2011 meeting of the Hillbrook-Tall Oaks Civic Association. President Mark Crawford’s term was about to expire, so he asked if any of his neighbors wanted to run for the position. Anybody? Anybody? Nobody answered. So Crawford nominated Ms. Beatha Lee. “She’s interested in neighborhood activities and the outdoors,” he explained, adding that she “had experience in Maine overseeing an estate of 26 acres.” Crawford asked once more if there were any other nominees—there weren’t, so he called for a vote. Fifty members raised their hands, and Ms. Beatha Lee was elected association president. Meeting adjourned.

  Two weeks later, a newsletter was sent to the 250 families in the neighborhood introducing their new president. The headline read: “Dog Rules, Humans Apathetic (Pathetic).” Ms. Beatha Lee turned out to be a shaggy Wheaten Terrier belonging to Crawford.

  Dogs have run for political office before, but people usually know they’re voting for a dog. Once Annandale residents realized they’d been had, they were foaming at the mouth. “She had a name!” said one. “It wasn’t Spot or Rover. It was a first and last name! We’re embarrassed!” Crawford was unapologetic; he did it to send a message that people should participate more in their local government. He now serves as vice president to Ms. Beatha Lee, who presides from underneath his desk and “delegates a lot.”

  IT’S SCIENCE!

  Time for planets and atoms and Internets and nerdy scientists with really big glasses.

  World View

  How do Global Positioning System satellites rely on Einstein’s theory of relativity?

  Rocky Road

  You’re taking a walk in a desert and you find a rock. You say, “That has to be a meteorite!” And you’re correct. Where are you?

  World View

  Albert Einstein had two theories of relativity: His theory of special relativity proposed that time moves slower when you’re moving very fast, whereas his theory of general relativity posed that time moves faster in a weaker gravitational field. Those two theories were put to the test in 1990 when the U.S. Department of Defense launched 24 Global Positioning System satellites into orbit. Each one contained an atomic clock that was synced up to an Earth-based system of identical atomic clocks. If Einstein was correct, the time on the space clocks—which are subject to weaker gravity than Earth-bound clocks, and travel at 8,424 mph—should move faster by 38,700 nanoseconds every 24 Earth hours. This seemingly tiny discrepancy would throw the GPS off by about six additional miles each passing day, rendering it useless. So the space clocks were set to account for this discrepancy. It turned out that Einstein was correct, and without his prediction, we’d still have to use those annoying folding maps.

  Rocky Road

  You’re in Antarctica. Because of its miniscule annual precipitation (less than 10 inches), it’s classified as a desert. And its ice and snow have been slowly building up for millennia with little evaporation. Result: Antarctica’s earthly rocks have long been buried under the ice. So if you’re taking a walk on the Antarctic tundra and you stumble upon a rock, either a scientist dropped it there or, more likely, it fell from the sky.

  Long Time

  The sun is the closest star to us. Traveling from Earth at one million miles per hour, it would take a little over three and a half days to get there. Traveling at the same speed, how long would it take to get to the second-closest star?

  Short Time

  How long is a jiffy?

  Long Time

  A lot longer than it would take to get to the sun. The second-closest star to Earth is Proxima Centauri. A red dwarf too small to be seen by the naked eye, it’s 4.2 light years away. Light travels nearly 5.9 trillion miles per year, so if you were able to reach a velocity of 1 million mph, your journey would take 2,828 Earth years. You’d better bring along something to read. (For suggestions, go to www.bathroomreader.com.)

  Short Time

  What type of work you dabble in determines the duration of your jiffy:

  • Quantum physicists define a jiffy as the time it takes for light to travel the radius of an electron.

  • Astrophysicists define it as the time it takes light to travel one fermi (about the diameter of a proton).

  • Computer programmers assign it the duration of one tick of the system timer interrupt (between 1 and 10 milliseconds).

  • Electricians define a jiffy as 1/50 or 1/60 of a second.

  Much about this word is a mystery, even the origin: It was most likely coined in 18th-century England by thieves who used it as a slang term for “lightning.” Most dictionaries define a jiffy as 1) 1/100 of a second, and 2) a moment.

  Krazy Kat

  You’re in a pitch-black room. All you have is a cat and a fluorescent tube. But you can find your way out. How?

  July Madness

  In July 1945, Enrico Fermi set up a $1 betting pool at his job. What were he and his workmates betting on?

  Krazy Kat

  Create a light source by rubbing the cat with the fluorescent tube. This would also work with your own hair (unless, like Uncle John, you don’t have any), but a cat is furrier and therefore more effective. How does this work? Rubbing the kitty scrapes electrons off its fur. Set loose as electricity, they strike the mercury vapor inside the tube, causing it to emit ultraviolet “black” light, which normally falls outside the visible spectrum. However, the inside of the tube is filled with phosphors that—like the special paints used inside fun houses—glow when excited by ultraviolet light. Now you can find a light switch.

  July Madness

  Fermi and his co-workers at the Manhattan Project labs were betting on the size of the blast made by the first atomic bomb test, scheduled for July 16, 1945, in a remote part of New Mexico. Fermi bet that the air itself would ignite and destroy New Mexico. Physicist Norman Ramsey bet the opposite—that the bomb would be a dud. The winner was a physicist named Isidor Isaac Rabi, who bet that the blast would equal 18,000 tons of dynamite. He
was only 2,000 tons short. (Rabi didn’t make his guess based on any scientific principle; he was late to the pool and chose the only square left.)

  Stairway to Blimpdom

  What’s the difference between a dirigible and a blimp? And which one was the Hindenburg? And what the heck is a Zeppelin? And why is it made of Led?

  Stairway to Blimpdom

  A blimp has a soft fabric shell that holds its elliptical shape because of the pressure of the gases inside. A dirigible has a strong frame that maintains its shape no matter what the gas pressure is inside.

  The most famous dirigible was the Hindenburg, which went down in flames over a New Jersey airfield on May 6, 1937. It killed 35 people onboard and one on the ground. (“Oh, the humanity.”) But it wasn’t the gases inside the dirigible that caught fire; it was most likely caused by a buildup of static electricity from a recent thunderstorm. When a mooring line hit the ground, it sent up a spark that ignited the Hindenburg’s paint. (That’s one theory—the jury’s still out as to exactly what caused the disaster.)