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The Rancher's Baby Proposal Page 10
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With no need to shop from the internet. He envisioned her showing off her stretchy dress to him, and he thought again of that cold shower. All of a sudden, it seemed exactly what he needed.
“And in town,” she went on, “I’ve got other friends around me. I give one of them a call, and in minutes we’re meeting at SugarPie’s or the Cantina. I was just thinking you must have been lonely when you were growing up, living all the way out here without other kids from school nearby.”
“No time to get lonely. There’s always a lot to do on a ranch.”
“But you didn’t work on it.”
“Yeah, I did.” Suddenly, he wanted to explain his answer to Ally.
Maybe it was the late hour or the lack of sleep, or the fact that he hadn’t meant to keep her here so long. Or maybe, and most likely, it was his...reactions. His reaction of guilt at knowing his parents had always intended him to take his place on this ranch, and he’d disappointed them. His reaction of guilt at knowing he’d let Ally down last night, too.
Maybe it was all of the above. But he settled on telling himself talking would help to distract him. Would take his mind off the fact that he wouldn’t be getting that cold shower anytime soon.
“I spent a lot of hours working on this ranch,” he told her. “My dad was at it from sunup to sundown, of course. But I pitched in whenever I wasn’t at school or doing homework or involved in whatever sport was in season.”
“Then what about your mama? Being out here alone all day while you two were working, she must have been lonely.”
He shook his head. “You can’t know a lot about ranches, Ally, or you’d know ranch wives keep as busy as anyone. Besides, my mom was friendly with lots of women who live out here. And others from town, too. I told you she knew Mrs. B from the community center, right?”
Ally nodded.
“She was friendly with your mom and Shay’s Grandma Mo, too, and all the ladies in their women’s circle, the knitting circle, the crafts club.”
“She made the quilt that’s upstairs, didn’t she?” she asked softly. “The one with all the sports equipment on it.”
“Yeah.” That was one thing he didn’t want to talk about. “Her groups met out here at the ranch sometimes.”
“Yes, I remember coming here once with my mama.”
He remembered her here, too, sitting on the corral fence and making him wonder if she’d never before seen a horse being groomed. Now he wondered something else. Had she had that crush on him even all the way back then?
He didn’t dare bring that up. He couldn’t risk mentioning anything that might give Ally some encouragement.
Last evening, he had told her the truth when he had said things couldn’t work out between them.
And all last night, when he’d had such trouble sleeping, he’d reminded himself he sure wasn’t going to parade a string of temporary women in front of his son.
“Well, anyway,” he said, “my mom had plenty to do to keep her busy, yet she still had time for her friends and her clubs. I’m sure whoever buys the ranch will manage to do the same.”
And that ought to be a good reminder to them both that he wouldn’t be around here much longer.
* * *
IN REAGAN’S ROOM the next afternoon, Ally finished straightening the piles of Sean’s one-piece jumpers and footed pajamas and tiny little undershirts. Babies sure did go through a lot of clothes in a day.
For a moment, she held a pair of pajamas close to her face and inhaled the soft, clean scent that reminded her of Sean. Cuddling him close to her for so long last night, she had finally acknowledged that the little baby had stolen a piece of her heart.
His daddy had long ago taken the rest of it.
She didn’t want a baby just like Sean—she wanted Sean.
And Reagan.
How ironic. Barely a week ago, she had still been fooling herself about not planning to be a mama. Now she couldn’t deny she wanted Reagan to love her and marry her and help her give Sean brothers and sisters.
She wanted them to be a family.
Somehow, she had to help Reagan leave the past behind. Otherwise, they would never have even the chance of a future together.
“You’ve got a fetish for pajamas?”
At the sound of his voice, she jumped.
Turning, she found him watching her from the doorway. “You’re in early.” She looked him over. He wore his khaki shorts again and a fresh T-shirt. “And you’re all washed up.”
He laughed. “Ally, that’s not something you ever want to say to a man.”
Her cheeks burned. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it as well as I do. I’m only saying you must have showered outside again.”
“I did. Now, back to that pajama fetish of yours.”
She couldn’t tell him the truth, that the scent of the laundry made her feel closer to his son. And to him. “I was just making sure they came through the wash okay,” she said inanely.
“Have you checked out mine?”
“I haven’t washed anything of yours—except the sheets—and you know that as well as I do, too.” But she was willing—oh, so willing—to play the game. She tilted her head and batted her lashes. “So how can I possibly know if you even wear pajamas?”
He laughed. “I guess you couldn’t know.”
“Exactly.” Smiling, she gathered up the clean laundry from the bed and walked to the dresser. Reagan stayed in the doorway, not threateningly, not pushing, just watching her and, she had to admit, giving her a thrill at the thought that she had his attention.
Now she just had to find a way to keep it.
She closed the dresser drawer. The quilt she had spread across the bed last night lay neatly folded on the chair beside the dresser. Frowning, she turned to Reagan. “I thought you liked that quilt. You didn’t want to use it?”
For a moment, his eyes held an expression she couldn’t read. An instant later, it was gone. “I was too hot,” he said. “And it’s too juvenile. I’m not a kid anymore.”
“Neither am I,” she shot back. That had certainly gotten his attention. He ran his gaze over her, leaving her skin heating everywhere he looked.
After taking a slow deep breath, she held out her hand.
Reagan sucked in a breath. He’d come upstairs looking for Ally only to let her know he was inside the house. But he wouldn’t be honest if he didn’t acknowledge—to himself, that is—the shot of adrenaline that had run through him when he’d found her alone in his bedroom. And he wouldn’t be normal if he didn’t accept the invitation she was offering.
Hell, he’d spent the day thinking about her, and there she stood, somehow looking both bold and shy at the same time. The combination made him want to do things he shouldn’t even think about. But he’d turned her down the other night. How could he do that to her again?
He crossed the room. When he took her hand and she tightened her fingers around his in another invitation, he stopped resisting. He wrapped his free arm around her and took her mouth, too. It was firm and soft, molding to his. And so was she, nestling her body against his as if they’d been made to match. The thought of where else they would fit together had his heart thumping double time.
He couldn’t have sworn which of them made the first move toward the bed, but he was glad to see she was as eager as he was to get there. He was determined to have the pleasure of seeing all of her.
Though he tried to take things slow, anticipation and eagerness spurred him on. One kiss led to five or six, and then to his hand on her blouse. Ally’s murmur of pleasure gave him permission to do more.
The colors in the fabric seemed to blend together as he undid her buttons. The sight of pink lace beneath the blouse made his hand shake. She traced his knuckles with her fingertips as if guiding him, urging him on.
 
; “Reagan,” she murmured, “do you know how many times I’ve thought about us like this?”
He kissed her temple. “Not as many as I have lately.”
“Oh, I doubt that.” She laughed, low and sexy. His fingers fumbled on a button. “I’ve had a crush on you forever.”
He kissed her cheek. “Forever, huh?”
“Oh, yes. Since third grade.”
“That’s a long time.”
“Mmm-hmm. But I’ve always known this would happen someday. And I’m happy it finally has.”
He smiled. “I’m hoping I can make you even happier.”
“Oh, you will.”
He ducked his head to kiss her jaw. Her curls brushed his face, teasing him.
“I’ve waited such a long time,” she said, “just for you.”
He stilled for a moment, then raised himself up on one elbow to look at her again. Her lips were moist, her eyes bright. Her hair fanned out, nearly covering his pillow. She was his for the taking, and she had waited...
“Just for me,” he said.
She nodded.
“Are you...are you telling me you’ve never been with anyone?”
“No.” She laughed, and her cheeks turned pink. “I mean, yes. You’re right. That’s what I’m telling you.”
This time when he sucked in a breath, he nearly choked on it. “That’s...that’s special, Ally. You don’t just sleep with someone for the first time and then walk away. And I am walking away. We talked about it last night.” Regretfully, he pulled her shirt closed. “I’m not staying. You’ve known that since the beginning. And I won’t take advantage of you.”
She sat up. The shirt gaped open, giving him another glimpse of pink lace and soft, tanned curves. He looked away.
“You’re not taking advantage of me. How can you be doing that when I’ve told you how long I’ve wanted you? I love you, Reagan. I have since third grade.”
He stood and backed up a step, as if putting distance between them would erase her words. But that thought was about as foolish as what she had just said. “You don’t love me. At that age, nobody knows what love is. You’re basing your feelings on a schoolgirl crush.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You don’t realize it but, yeah, you are. Our paths barely crossed when we were growing up. Until last week we hadn’t seen each other in years. And last night, you told me you’d understood what I said about no relationships.” He took a deep breath. “I’m not saying this is all on you. You held out your hand, and I took it. But I thought you’d decided just to have a good time while I was here.”
“A good time?” She closed her eyes as if she couldn’t look at him.
“Yeah. My mistake. I misunderstood. Obviously. And if I’d known you’d never—” He clamped his jaw shut to force himself to stop babbling.
Before she could open her eyes or he could say anything to make the situation worse, he turned and left the room. But he couldn’t leave behind the thoughts that chased him down the hall.
All right, maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe this had nothing to do with Ally wanting a good time. Maybe this was about something else entirely.
He believed her when she said she hadn’t been with anyone else. He believed she believed she loved him.
For all these years, she’d hung on to that crush. Had she also held on to another fantasy—that he’d be the first guy to make love with her?
Chapter Ten
“You’re seeing me twice in less than twenty-four hours,” Ally said to Tina. “This must be your lucky day.” She could tell by the look on her friend’s face that she knew it hadn’t been her lucky day.
They were in the kitchen of Tina and Cole’s apartment upstairs in the Hitching Post. “Let me go check on the kids,” Tina said, “and then I’ll make us a cup of tea.”
Ally laughed. “You sound just like Mama and Paz. They think a good cup of tea can solve anything, too. I’m hoping you’re all correct.”
Tina left the room, and Ally took a seat at the table.
She blinked, fighting tears again. She had almost lost the battle to hold them back earlier—when Reagan had blindsided her with his assumption she was with him only to have a good time. Knowing he could believe that had stunned her so completely, she had barely closed her eyes in time to hold back a sudden rush of tears.
He must have been just as astonished to hear she had never slept with anyone. But she hadn’t lied about that. Or about anything else.
After he had left the room, she had buttoned her blouse and straightened her hair. Then she’d taken a deep breath before heading downstairs to stay with the baby. She had expected to find Reagan in the kitchen, but Sean was alone. He slept soundly in his playpen in the same position she had left him in when she had gone to put his freshly washed clothes away.
To her surprise, she heard Reagan’s footsteps overhead on the uncarpeted hall floor, then sounds of doors closing and drawers shutting and several solid thumps, as if he had been moving furniture.
Or been trying to burn off excess energy.
The rest of the afternoon and evening had passed very quietly, probably because they never saw each other again. At least, not until it was time for her to leave.
Tina returned to the kitchen, eyed her and went to heat the teakettle.
Ally plucked a couple of paper napkins from the holder on the table and waved with them. “I probably should have called first to see if you were free to talk. Should I fold one of these for Cole?”
“No. He went into town for a while. And the kids are sound asleep. We’ll have plenty of time to chat with no interruptions. Not like this morning.”
Even as they both laughed, remembering the busy women’s center waiting room, Ally swallowed a sigh of relief. Nothing against Cole, but she certainly couldn’t have the conversation she wanted to have with Tina in front of her husband—or anyone else.
Once Tina had finished making the tea, she brought both mugs to the table and took her seat.
And Ally, The Girl Most Likely, said, “Well, brace yourself for some news. I gave Reagan the shock of his life tonight. I told him my deep, dark secret—that I’m the oldest virgin in Cowboy Creek.”
Tina shook her head, but she did laugh. Weakly. She also put a comforting hand on Ally’s arm.
Ally blinked and attempted to smile.
“Honestly, Tina,” she said, meaning it, “I never thought of it as keeping a secret, or making a big sacrifice, just as standing by a decision I’d made. Standing by Reagan.” As long as he was there, she had never cared about anyone else. She had never had a boyfriend, never slept around. Then he had left for college, and she never saw him again.
She shrugged and pleated her napkin. “You know, chica, when we had no idea if he’d ever come back, I might have changed my mind. I might have slept with someone. Working at the store, I’ve certainly run across plenty of cowboys. We know some of them were eligible.” She rolled her eyes. “And some of them just thought they were—or wanted me to think it. But let’s face it, other than the guys in that category, unattached bachelors have been few and far between in Cowboy Creek. So I didn’t deliberately save myself for Reagan.”
But as she had told him, she had waited for him.
Waited and hoped.
“You never found anyone who measures up to him,” Tina said quietly.
They exchanged a glance, and Ally nodded. Her best friend knew just what to say, just what to offer—sympathy and understanding—because she knew exactly how Ally felt. Tina had dealt with these feelings, too.
“Anyway,” Ally said, “Reagan didn’t take the V-word very calmly. Or the L-word, either, come to think of it.”
“You told him that, too?”
“Oh, yes. I didn’t hold anything back. And I have to
tell you, if nothing else good came of the conversation, at least it helped him open up to me a bit more. In fact, I think he said more to me at one time tonight than he has since he’s been back.”
That hadn’t surprised her, really, after she had seen how much her admissions had shaken him. But later, it had startled her when he had come downstairs and made his abrupt announcement. He was in for the night and she might as well leave early.
Limiting her time at the ranch could be part of a plan to ease her out of a job—and out of his life. Or it could be his way of avoiding feelings he didn’t know how to deal with.
“After hearing all my confessions at once, I’m sure he started talking out of sheer panic. But he did talk to me. And he wanted me. And I wanted him.” Knowing she couldn’t hold back from Tina, she admitted, “The one thing I didn’t mention to him was the part about wanting wedding bells and babies.”
Tina’s eyes rounded. Her reaction wasn’t an insult, just an indication of the size of this surprise.
“I know.” Ally laughed. “Imagine that. Ally Martinez, wanting the walk down the aisle and the white picket fence and the patter of little feet around the house. Who will ever believe it? I can barely understand it myself. But seeing you with Emilia...and since I’ve been babysitting Sean... He’s the sweetest little baby, Tina. After taking care of him...well...I guess it’s been coming on gradually without me even being aware of it, but becoming a mama now seems like a pretty good idea.”
“It’s a wonderful idea.” Tina smiled. “But you know, you’re not fooling me. It didn’t matter how often or how loudly you joked about kids not liking you and you not liking them, I could always see past that.” She paused, frowning. “But what—”
“Don’t even say it,” Ally interrupted. “I know just what you’re thinking. ‘But what are the chances Reagan will ever come around?’ Right?” When Tina nodded, she shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe the odds would be enormous, if only he wasn’t holding back because of whatever happened to him.”
She looked down at her tea mug.
Again tonight, she had gone through the ritual of collecting her things, assuring herself she would be returning to the ranch, reassuring herself she would come back strong. Somehow, she had to find a way to do that. For Reagan’s sake—and for her own.