Wide Open Spaces Read online

  “Yeah,” he mumbles to the top of the table¸ making me smile.

  “You should have slept in, honey.”

  “I don’t like sleeping in.” He yawns, sitting up, and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. I know he enjoys his sleep just as much as me, but his dad has pounded it into his head since he was little that sleeping in is something lazy people do.

  When I first got together with Max, he used to laugh about how much I enjoyed sleeping. After awhile, though, my sleeping habits, as well as a lot of other things, became one more of the little things that annoyed him about me. Something he no longer thought was cute or endearing, and believe me, by the end, there was a long list of things Max no longer liked about me.

  “Do you want me to make you something for breakfast?”

  “I’m just going to have cereal,” he says, standing from the table and going to the fridge, grabbing the gallon of milk.

  “When you’re done, we’ll head into town and get our fishing licenses and a couple of poles, and then we can pick up lunch somewhere. We’ll take it with us to a place Gramps used to take me fishing.”

  “Really?” he asks, and his whole face lights up as he pours an absurd amount of sugary cereal into his bowl on top of his milk.

  “Definitely.” I smile then cringe as the doorbell rings, making a horrendous sound chime through the house. “I think we need to get that fixed,” I say under my breath, and he laughs, stunning me with the carefree sound. Instead of doing what I want to do, which is lean over and hug him or touch him in some way, I give him a small smile and head for the door with a smile on my face.

  Things between us have been getting better by the day. I don’t know if it’s because he doesn’t feel like he has to choose between his father and me, or if it’s because he feels more relaxed here. Whatever it is, I’ll take it.

  Swinging the door open, my heart speeds up when my eyes meet Zach’s. Since that night out on my balcony, I’ve caught glimpses of him coming or going from his house and around town, but I haven’t talked to him again.

  “Hey.” I rest against the doorframe, wondering what he’s doing here so early. Looking like he just got out of the shower, his dark hair is still wet. The stubble that was on his jaw days ago is gone, leaving me wondering if I like him more with the facial hair or without. Instead of a plaid shirt today, he has on a long-sleeved Henley that is the same green as his eyes.

  “Corneal left this with Aubrey yesterday.” He dips his chin to a large box in his hands then steps forward, forcing me back into the house. I watch him head for the living room, just off the front door, and set the box down on the coffee table, causing it to shake with the weight.

  “Thanks for dropping it off.” I feel my skin heat as he turns to face me, and his eyes trek slowly down my body, making me realize I only have on a thin tank top and a pair of very short sleep shorts.

  “Hey, Mr. Watters.”

  Zach’s eyes go to Hunter, and the intensity that had been in his eyes moments ago disappears as he smiles. “Hey, kid. Just call me Zach. How are you settling in?”

  “Good, I have the coolest room, and Mom and I are going fishing today.”

  “Oh yeah?” Zach asks, looking at me with a raised brow, probably remembering that I use to hate fishing.

  “I’m going to take him out to the road where Gramps used to take me,” I admit softly, feeling my cheeks heat. That spot is the same one Zach and I used to spend hours during the summer, sitting on the tailgate of his old pickup with our fishing poles in the water and our faces glued together.

  “I know Pat took his poles with him when he left, but I have a few if you want to borrow them.”

  “That’s not necessary.” I shake my head, knowing if we borrow them from him today, I’ll have to see him again when we return them, and there is only so much of being around him that I can take. And I think I’ve reached my limit.

  “It’s not a big deal, Shel.”

  “Yeah, Mom, it’s not a big deal,” Hunter agrees from my side, but my mind is totally focused on Zach and the fact he called me Shel. “Mom.” Hunter nudges my shoulder, and my eyes swing toward him.

  “Um…” I bite my lip, wondering how to get out of this without sounding rude.

  “Do you want to come with us?” Hunter asks, looking at Zach, and my eyes widen.

  “I’m sure Zach is busy today, honey,” I cut in swiftly, looking at Zach and praying I suddenly have the power of mind control. There is no way I could possibly spend the day with him.

  “I’m not.” He smiles, holding my gaze, and my heart plummets.

  Crap.

  “Let me get the kids. We can take my boat out. They’d probably enjoy getting out on the water for a few hours.”

  “A boat?” Hunter breathes, in little boy excitement, and I so badly want to cover my face with my hands and scream at the top of my lungs that this is not happening.

  “On a boat,” Zach agrees softly, with his eyes on Hunter.

  “Heck yeah,” Hunter shouts, throwing his arms up in the air before proceeding to jump around the room.

  “We’ll meet you guys out front in an hour. It’s gonna take me that long to get Aubrey and Steven out of bed.” Zach smiles, ruffling Hunter’s hair as he moves past him and heads for the front door.

  “I’m gonna go get ready!” Hunter cries, running out of the room. This leaves me standing there listening to the front door close behind Zach, and the sound of Hunter’s feet pounding up the stairs.

  Leaning my head back, I look up at the ceiling and close my eyes, praying to get struck by lightning. When that doesn’t happen, I give up and head for my room to get ready. Finally, after pulling almost every single item of clothing out of my closet, I settle on sneakers, worn jeans that had gotten too tight for me but now fit me comfortably, my warm, light grey sweater, and my thin black raincoat.

  I kept telling myself while I was getting ready that it didn’t matter at all what I wore, or if I had on mascara. All we were doing was going fishing. Although, I couldn’t stop feeling like it was important to make a good impression on Zach’s children. Just the thought of meeting them has my hands becoming sweaty and my stomach knotting once more. I really don’t know if I will be able to deal with meeting them, knowing who their mother is and who Zach used to be to me.

  “Mom, are you ready?” Hunter yells, breaking into my thoughts as I zip up my jacket.

  “I’m coming. I hope you have on something warm. It can get cold out on the water,” I yell back, while tying my hair into a ponytail and leaving the room.

  “Is this warm enough?” he asks when I walk into the kitchen, where he’s finishing off his half-eaten bowl of soggy cereal wearing a hoodie and jeans.

  “Yes, but bring your raincoat just in case,” I say, and he rolls his eyes, looking like a teenager instead of a boy.

  Dropping his bowl in the sink, he mutters, “I’ll go grab it,” before running off and returning a moment later, out of breath, with his coat in his hand. “Are you ready?” he asks again, and I smile at him, shaking my head.

  “Let’s go.” I swing out my hand, following him out of the house and down the front steps. Zach and his kids are waiting next to a large red four-door truck surrounded by fishing poles and tackle boxes. As soon as Zach sees us coming, his eyes sweep over me and his lips tilt up at the corners.

  “Aubrey, Steven, this is Shelby and her boy, Hunter,” Zach says, introducing us and placing his hand on each of his kids’ shoulders once we’re close.

  “Nice to meet you guys.” I smile, or try to, as I study them. I can’t help but wonder if Samuel would have looked like them or like Hunter when he was their age. Then I wonder if Zach thought the same thing when he met Hunter for the first time.

  “Hi.” Aubrey smiles softly, looking like a beautiful version of her dad, with long dark hair, fair skin, and green eyes that are striking against her pale skin.

  “Hey,” Steven mutters, and now that we’re close, I notice he does look
a lot like his mom. His blond hair is a little too long and his blue eyes look to be in teenaged turmoil.

  “Let’s get the truck packed up, guys,” Zach says, and Steven’s eyes move to him and narrow.

  “I still don’t know why I couldn’t go fishing with my friends,” he grumbles, leaning back against the truck behind him. “Mom said it was okay with her.”

  “It’s not Mom’s night, bud. This is my only day off this week, so you’re gonna have to make plans with your friend another time,” Zach replies, with a warning twinge in his tone as he studies his son.

  “Whatever,” Steven returns, pushing off the truck and effectively dismissing his father’s words as he moves to pick up one of the tackle boxes from the ground.

  “Watch the attitude,” Zach warns, locking his firm stare on his boy, who shakes his head in response and stomps off to the back of the truck without another word.

  “I told him to make plans with Mike tomorrow,” Aubrey says softy, and her dad nods once then looks at me.

  “Will you be warm enough?” he asks.

  “I… I think so, yeah,” I reply, hearing Hunter laugh from my side.

  “Good, Hop in. We’ll take my truck.”

  “Um…” I pause. “I need to stop and get us fishing licenses, so we can just meet you wherever your boat is.”

  “We’ll stop and pick them up on the way,” he interjects, his attention moving to Hunter. “Let’s get the stuff loaded, kid.” Before I can say anything else, he turns away with Hunter following him. They both work to lug our stuff to the back of the truck, leaving me standing there with Aubrey.

  “Ignore Steven,” she whispers. “He always thinks Dad is the bad guy, but he’s not. Mom just lets him do whatever he wants.”

  “Oh,” I whisper back, unsure what else to say, since I have the same problem with my ex.

  “Our mom is always doing things like that.” She shakes her head, opening the back door of the truck, putting one foot up high, lifting herself into the cab to look down at me, smiling over the top of the door. “You can ride shotgun with Dad.”

  “Great.” I smile back, feigning happiness, and open the passenger door. As I climb into the seat, I wonder how the hell I ended up here, not finding the answer, even as I sit next to Zach on the way to the store.

  “You need a year license,” Zach says from my side, and I close my eyes in frustration. When I open them back up, I ask, “Where are the kids?” while ignoring his comment.

  “Hi, Sheriff Watters.” The woman behind the counter beams at Zach like he’s part of the newest boy band and I hand her the papers I just filled out.

  “Hey, Sally.” He lifts his chin and looks at me.

  “The kids are picking out junk food,” he says, motioning for Sally to hand him the papers I just handed to her. Then he takes the pen out of my hand and scratches out the box for the daily licenses and checks the one for the year. “Thanks.” He smiles, making her blush as he hands her back the papers.

  “Seriously, we don’t need year passes.” I shake my head, and Sally’s eyes meet mine. She blinks like she can’t believe I’m not agreeing with whatever Zach says.

  “You’re living here now. I take the boat out at least once a week. I’m sure Hunter’d like to go out fishing more than this once.” He nods to Sally, and with that, she turns, leaving me standing there with my mouth gaping open while she goes to the computer. “Besides, it’s cheaper.”

  “This is…” I pause, trying to think of what this is. “This is crazy, Zach.”

  “Why?” He frowns, and I pull in a breath, wondering if I need to spell it out for him. I mean, we dated, had a kid together, and haven’t spoken in fifteen years. Is there really anything I need to say? “I feel like the situation kind of speaks for itself.”

  Running his fingers through his hair he pins me in place with a look I haven’t seen in fifteen years. “We have a past, Shel. We also have a connection that no one else will ever understand,” he says quietly and my stomach knots.

  “Mom, did you know a box of Twinkies costs almost eight dollars here?” Hunter asks, breaking into the moment and cutting off the words that are sitting on the tip of my tongue.

  “Everything costs more here, honey,” I explain, turning to face him as Aubrey and Steven walk up behind him, each with arms full of junk food.

  “Why?” Hunter frowns.

  “Everything has to be shipped or flown in, so they raise the price to make up for that.”

  “But… eight dollars?” His nose scrunches up and his brows snap together. “That’s a total rip off,” he practically shouts, making me laugh and Zach chuckle.

  “So you don’t want me to buy them for you?” I ask, and his eyes drop to the box of Twinkies in his hands—one of his favorite treats—before coming back to mine, looking conflicted.

  “They better be the best Twinkies in the whole world,” he says quietly, almost to himself, and Steven, who I haven’t seen smile once, shows off a grin that looks just like his father’s used to.

  “Here you go. You can pay for these when you check out.” Sally beams—again—handing Zach our fishing licenses and not me, making me roll my eyes.

  “Thanks, Sally.”

  “Sure thing.” She blushes, this time darker than before.

  “Let’s go,” Zach mutters, placing his hand on my lower back and leading me toward the registers, with the kids heading the way. I try with everything in me to ignore the feeling of his hand on me as we walk, but it’s all I can focus on.

  “Hey, Mom.” Pulling my attention from Zach’s hand, I look up thinking Hunter is calling me, but instead, I find Tina walking toward us with a scowl on her face that is directed at me.

  Seriously, this is not what I need.

  “Seriously? Not even a week!” she shouts, looking between Zach and me. “Not even a fucking week,” she repeats once she’s closer, and I automatically stop.

  “Tina.” Zach steps in front of me, blocking her from my sight.

  “I should have known. I should have known this was going to happen!” she yells, and I move closer to the kids, not wanting them anywhere near her right now.

  “Mom,” Hunter whispers, moving in so close that his arm brushes mine.

  “Not here,” Zach growls, blocking Tina when she tries to get past him.

  “Not here? Then where, Zach?” she hollers, making Aubrey jump and whimper.

  “Come on, guys. Drop your stuff and let’s go wait outside,” I say softly, while moving the kids toward the checkout counter farthest from Tina and Zach.

  “Do not fucking tell my kids what to do!” Tina shouts, leaning around Zach and pointing her finger at me.

  “Tone it down, Tina.”

  “Fuck you, Zach. Your ex-girlfriend comes back, and suddenly you’re traipsing around town with her and our kids? I do not fucking think so.”

  “Mom,” Hunter says quietly, and my stomach pitches when I see the look in his eyes.

  “Honey.” I reach out for him, but he takes a step away from me.

  “I’m taking you back to court, asshole,” Tina continues loudly, while my heart cracks open. “Steven’s already said he wants to move in with me, and when I tell the judge about how you gave up you and that bitch’s kid fifteen years ago, who do you think he will choose then?” She’s shouts at the top of her lungs, shoving Zach in the chest. Whimpering I, take a step back, not believing she just said that with the kids and a group of at least ten people watching.

  “Dad,” Aubrey whispers, as Zach barks, “Outside now.”

  But it’s too late. The damage is done.

  “One warning, Tina. That’s all I’m giving you before I call in Arney. Don’t think I won’t have you arrested,” he whispers low, getting in her face.

  Seeing them distracted, I move toward the kids and say quietly, “Guys, set your stuff down.” They each hurry and do as I instructed them to do then I lead them out of the store without looking back.

  “Do you guys want
to wait for your dad, or do you want to walk with Hunter and me back to the house?” I ask once we’re in the parking lot, and Aubrey looks at her brother, waiting for him to make the decision.

  “We’ll wait for our Dad,” Steven says, and I nod, giving them a shaky smile.

  “I’m gonna take Hunter home. Stay near your dad’s truck until he gets out, okay?”

  “Sure,” Aubrey says, and Steven lifts his chin towards me then wraps his arm around his sister’s shoulder.

  “I’m really sorry,” I whisper, and with that, I walk away with Hunter walking a few steps in front of me with his face towards the ground.

  “Honey,” I say, reaching out to touch his shoulder when we’re close to the house, but the shake of his head lets me know he doesn’t want to hear whatever it is I’m going to say. Not that I even know what to say at this point.

  I’ve thought a lot over the years about how I would tell Hunter about Samuel’s adoption, and in my head, I knew all the right things to say and envisioned what Hunter’s reaction would be to the news. I never in my wildest dreams imagined he would find out about it in the middle of a grocery store with Zach’s children present.

  As soon as I have the door to the house open, Hunter pounds up the stairs, leaving me standing in the entryway at a loss. Taking off my jacket, I toss it on the couch in the living room then take a seat in my granddad’s chair—one of the few things of his still remaining in the room—and put my head in my hands.

  “What do I do now?” I ask, then jerk my head up when a knock sounds on the front door. Swiping the tears off my cheeks, I head for the door. Opening it just as Zach’s hand is hanging in the air, getting ready to knock again.

  His eyes are filled with concern. His hair is a disheveled mess, as if he had been pulling on it on the way over here. “Are you okay?” Without giving me time to answer his question, he puts his hand against my stomach and pushes me back into the house. As soon as the door is closed, he pulls me into his arms. “I’m sorry, Shel,” he whispers, running his hands over the top of my head then down my back.