Undeniable Read online

  If Zac was a psychopath, maybe he’d try to hurt me. But Jessie knew where I was, surely I was safe?

  I rushed over to the door, ready to make a dash for it if Zac turned out to be a crazed, violent person. I could hardly believe that he would be, but then again, I’d hardly expected the night to turn out this way. I no longer knew what was going on, or what to expect.

  When the bathroom door opened and Zac stepped out, his jacket slung over one arm, I gasped involuntarily and flattened myself against the wall.

  Zac looked at me with sad, serious eyes.

  “I’d never hurt you,” he said, reading my thoughts.

  I was probably exuding waves of fear. I couldn’t help it – my emotions were all over the place, and I didn’t know what to think.

  He opened the door and stepped outside, looking at me seriously through the open doorway for a few long seconds. He closed it behind himself and then I heard his footsteps as he moved down the corridor and away from me.

  I didn’t know what the hell was happening, but I did know that I wasn’t risking my safety. I rushed over and locked the door from the inside, and just to be extra-safe, I pulled the security latch across. My heart was thudding inside my chest, trying to get out, and I took a deep breath.

  I needed to calm down, and I needed to get out of there.

  Ten

  I felt confused, betrayed and scared. None of what had just happened made any sense to me, but I didn’t have time to think about it. I needed to get out of the hotel and home before Zac came back. I had no idea who he was or what he was planning, but I was no longer sure that I wanted to know.

  I cleaned up, slicked back my hair and got dressed in a rush. I grabbed the money from inside the cushion cover and stuffed the notes into my bag, not bothering to re-count them. Boots, hat, scarf – and I was out the door.

  As I rode down in the elevator, I stared at my reflection. I looked scared and out of my depth. At least I wasn’t wearing a sparkly red cocktail dress and I didn’t look like an obvious hooker.

  I walked through the opulent lobby, thankful that the reception staff were too well-trained to stare at me. When I stepped outside and into the harsh, chilly winter, I blinked. It was dark, and I could hear laughter and chatter escaping from the Starbucks nearby. Cars sped by, their headlights on, and I was about to head towards the subway entrance when I paused.

  It was still too early to be worried about my safety on the subway. On the other hand, I was carrying twenty-five thousand dollars in cash on me. I flagged down a cab, and got inside for my first solo cab ride since moving to the city.

  The cabbie was a grizzled old man with wrinkled, dark skin and frothy white hair, who glanced at me once and then showed no interest in me whatsoever. I leaned back against the worn leather seat and tried to get my heart rate to slow down a little. The buildings flashed by in a blur, and before I knew it, we were pulling up in front of my Williamsburg apartment. I made sure to give the cabbie a massive tip, and he looked at me, surprised. I’m not sure why that pleased me, but it did.

  When I entered the apartment, Jessie was still up, flicking through channels on our second-hand TV. She glanced at me, taking in my pale face and unhappy eyes, and seemed to bite back a comment.

  I slid out of my boots and got rid of the warm layers. “What’re you still doing up?”

  She shrugged. “Just checking what’s on. I was… how’d it go?”

  She peered at me carefully, and I shook my head. I hadn’t showered, so I probably still smelled like sex, and there was no point denying what had happened.

  “It was ok,” I said, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice. “But not great. So I left.”

  She watched me warily as I went over to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. I drank it like I’d spent the last five days running through the Nevada desert.

  “Usually, when a guy rents a room, he wants it to be romantic.”

  I shrugged. She had a funny look on her face, and I wasn’t sure why she was still up. But I didn’t want to chat, I didn’t even want to stay awake any longer.

  “I guess I’m not into him.”

  I grabbed my bag and headed into my bedroom. I hesitated for a moment, then I stuffed my bag inside my wardrobe, took a quick shower, and went to sleep. I’d half expected my confusion from the day to keep me up all night, but in reality I was just too tired to keep my eyes open any longer.

  ***

  First thing next morning, I called Joel and got his voicemail.

  “Come see me tonight,” I said. “It’s important.”

  He rang me back at around lunchtime, when I was at the diner, and this time, he got my voicemail. I finally got hold of him when I called him during my break.

  “What’s up?” he said, cutting straight to the chase. “Have you got the money? Do you have any ideas about what to do?”

  I was silent for a few seconds, wishing I could give him a nice surprise when he came over to my place. He took my silence to mean I didn’t have any solutions, and said, “I’m researching ways to escape to Mexico. Maybe I’ll grow a beard and shave off all my hair, that’ll confuse them.”

  His voice was dry and listless, and I took a deep breath. “Joel, you won’t have to do that. Just come by tonight.”

  I hung up before he could say anything else, and I frowned. Joel worried me. I didn’t know what he’d gotten mixed up in, but even if he’d quit doing drugs, I didn’t think his lifestyle was doing him any favors. He’d been a straight-A student until Mom had died, and then he’d just given up. Ever since that night, his eyes had been listless, disinterested in the world around himself.

  I gave myself a little shake. I’d figure it out soon. Just not right now. Right now, I was spending the day jumping out of my skin every time the diner door opened. I’d look up, expecting to see Zac. But, of course, it was never him.

  I didn’t know if I wanted to see him again. Well, ok, I did want to see him – I wanted to see him in the safety of the diner so that I could give him a piece of my mind. But then I’d remember all those things we’d done together, the way he’d traced his fingers down my body, and I’d feel a sharp stab of desire. I wanted him.

  I hated him and I longed for him. I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, I wanted to scream at him and ask him what he was doing, and then I wanted him to make me scream his name over and over again as he taught me the pleasure that lay beneath his fingertips.

  But of course, I did none of that. I spent my day dealing politely with diner customers, setting down plates carefully so as not to break them, and ignoring Sam’s nonchalantly sexist jokes. Diana was quieter today, and she’d regarded me with cool, assessing eyes, and hadn’t said anything nasty to me at all.

  It was a relief to get home. But even as I walked up to the entrance, I looked around, half-wondering if Zac would show up.

  He knew where I lived. He knew where I worked. If he wanted to get in touch, he could. Not that I was expecting him to, not the way he’d disappeared from the hotel room last night.

  Of course, he wasn’t there outside my apartment, and I shook my head, wondering how it was that I had no way of getting in touch with him. As soon as I got inside, I opened up my laptop, trawling over to AppleADay.com and zb1234’s profile.

  The profile had been deleted.

  Eleven

  I wasn’t sure why I was surprised.

  I tried to shove away my disappointment. I made myself a pastrami sandwich for dinner, and washed it down with one of the cheap beers Jessie and I stocked our fridge with. She’d texted me to say that she’d be spending the night at her boyfriend’s, and I felt a twinge of regret that she was already so happily in a relationship. I needed to get myself one of those.

  I’d barely finished my food when there was a knock at the door. Joel.

  He pushed back the hoodie that had been shielding his eyes, and adjusted the backpack he was carrying.

  “What’s up?” He stepped ins
ide and glanced around the apartment disinterestedly.

  “Sit here.” I indicated the couch, and headed over to my bedroom.

  I closed the door behind myself, opened the wardrobe, and pulled out my handbag from last night. I counted out twenty thousand dollars and put the rest aside.

  I went out to the living area with the bills in my hand. Joel stared at them and then looked up at my face. His eyes didn’t reveal much, and the muscles on his gaunt face didn’t move, but I thought I detected a hint of surprise.

  I handed the notes over to him with a thin smile.

  I was still shocked and disappointed by what had happened last night. But now, I allowed myself a brief moment of pride. Yes, I’d agreed to be a prostitute. I wasn’t sure if what I’d done was technically prostitution or not. But the bottom line was, as I handed Joel the cash, that I had it. I had earned enough money to save him.

  I watched him count out the notes wordlessly, and I bit my lower lip. Money is the funniest thing in the world – it can get you into dire messes, and it can solve the most devastating of problems. Anyone who says that money can’t buy happiness has never truly been broke, let alone in as desperate a situation as we were in.

  “It’s all there.” He didn’t meet my eyes and stuffed the notes deep inside his backpack. “Thanks.”

  And that was it. No surprise, no exuberant outburst of joy. His eyes were still somber, his face drawn and taut.

  “It’s enough, right? It’ll get that guy off your back?”

  He nodded.

  I took a deep breath, and wondered what was wrong. “You don’t owe him any more, do you? You’re not – you’re not in any other trouble?”

  He shook his head, and finally looked up at me. “I appreciate it, sis.”

  The words were hollow, and I nodded my head, trying to ignore that sinking feeling inside. So he wasn’t much for displaying emotions. He was thankful and trying to express it in his own way, and he was out of trouble. That’s what mattered.

  He stood up, and I mirrored him nervously. “Are you leaving? How about a beer? We could hang out for a bit.”

  Joel shook his head. “Maybe later.”

  And then he was gone.

  What was it with guys disappearing on me?

  I put away my dinner plate, and tidied the kitchen furiously, scrubbing our tiny countertop area and cleaning the sink until it gleamed. I couldn’t explain my anger. I was thankful Joel hadn’t asked me how I’d got the money. Or at least, I should be thankful. Twenty thousand dollars was kind of hard to explain away.

  Somehow, my best didn’t seem good enough. I should have been happy that Joel would be out of trouble, but instead, I was furious that he’d deserted me without any explanation. Just the way Zac had.

  And that was it. My thoughts kept turning to Zac, wondering just what the hell had happened, and whether I’d ever see him again.

  Twelve

  I wanted to be suave and sophisticated, but I spent the next two weeks looking up eagerly whenever the diner door opened. Zac never came in. Nor did he ever turn up at my apartment again.

  After a while, I’d accepted the fact that I’d never see him again. I Googled “Zac Smith,” but none of the results were “my” Zac. I looked through the image results for Zac, but he wasn’t there. He was a ghost who’d vaporized into the night, leaving me with twenty-five thousand dollars and an ache that wouldn’t go away.

  I spent my nights filling out job applications, refusing to go out drinking with Jessie and her boyfriend. She left me alone when I’d explained how desperate I was for a new job – I’d go out soon, I promised.

  Two and a half weeks after Zac walked out of that hotel room, he walked back into the diner.

  I’d been taking orders at table three, my back to the diner door, and though I’d been trying to stop myself from doing so, I turned around the moment I heard the door open.

  And there he was. I stared as the door closed softly behind him.

  He was wearing a grey suit that looked smooth and unwrinkled, and he didn’t seem to notice the freezing air outside. He must’ve just stepped out of his fancy car. He looked warm and delicious and I longed to rush up and bury my face in his chest, to breathe in his scent of citrus and leather.

  Our eyes met and I froze, my brain jumbled with a million thoughts, my heart thumping loudly. My blood seemed to run cold and then I felt shivers of electricity tingling down my spine.

  I forced myself to turn away from him, finished taking the order, and rushed into the kitchen, where I told Sam what he needed to make, and locked myself in the bathroom.

  Get a grip, I told myself, staring into the mirror.

  I didn’t look any different from the way I did this morning, and certainly I didn’t look any different from the way I did three weeks ago. Sleeping with a man who ran out on me didn’t make me a different person.

  I took a deep breath and tried to arrange my thoughts, pricking out the emotions like they were complicated threads in a tapestry gone wrong.

  I wasn’t going to create a scene here in the diner. Diana would serve him, I’d deal with my tables, and then he’d leave. Now that he was right there, a few feet away from me, I didn’t know what to say.

  There was a knock on the bathroom door and I peered out.

  Diana had her arms crossed, and one eyebrow raised in a cynical sneer. “Time for your break, princess. I’m taking over your tables.”

  I glanced from her to Sam, who was busy chopping vegetables for the salad a patron had ordered. “What’s going on?”

  She shrugged. “Guy at table nine wants to talk to you.”

  “That’s ok,” I said quickly, surprised that Zac had spoken to Diana about this. “I’ll just keep working for now.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not a request. He paid me twenty bucks, with another twenty coming up later, if you’ll take a break and go chat with him.”

  “What’s he want?”

  She shrugged. “Beats me. He’s your boyfriend. You should know.”

  I snorted. “My boyfriend. Right.”

  Sam grinned at us and said, “He wants to play hide-the-salami with you and you’re using the diner as a brothel? I figure I should get a cut.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Diana, I don’t kno–”

  She raised one hand and cut me off. “Save it. I don’t care what’s going on in your love life, I just don’t want you dragging it into work.” And then her eyes widened. “Hang on. Wasn’t this guy here a few weeks back? Him and that other blonde lady? I thought I remembered those peepers.”

  “I–”

  “Like I said. I don’t wanna hear about your life. Go talk to this guy, send him packing and then get back to work.”

  She picked up two plates that were ready and was about to head out of the kitchen, when I said, “Wait!” Diana turned to me, her eyes sardonic but curious. “I’ll pay you twenty bucks. Just so I can keep working.”

  When I said the words aloud, they sounded even more ridiculous than they had inside my head. Sam and Diana burst out laughing and she headed out into the sitting area, the kitchen door swinging shut behind her.

  Sam said, “He try anything fishy, holla out. I’ll go chop off his balls fo’ ya.”

  I smiled, suddenly touched by his brand of perverted protectiveness, and headed out, putting on my brave face.

  Zac’s blue-green eyes watched me carefully as I slid into the booth opposite him. He’d taken off the suit jacket and was in white shirtsleeves now, still looking slightly incongruous sitting in our diner. He should’ve been in a board meeting somewhere, or maybe in an ad for whiskey.

  His eyes were gentle and thoughtful, and I saw the slightest allusion of a smile. I wondered if he remembered our night together, if it distracted him and drove him crazy as much as it did me.

  And then suddenly, I no longer needed my brave face. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the table, glaring at him angrily.

  “If you think you’ll just turn up
like this and apologize,” I hissed. “You’ve got some nerve. I can’t just forget what you did that night.”

  He looked at me in surprise. “I’m not here to apologize.”

  I felt my spine stiffen and I sat up straight. Who did he think he was? “You think you don’t even have to apologize?”

  “I did nothing wrong.”

  I took a deep breath and was about to go off on a tirade when he said, “I didn’t hurt you. I trust you got home safely.”

  I stared at him disbelievingly. “You did nothing wrong? You walked out of the hotel room like I was a piece of common trash and you never even bothered to call me.”

  “I didn’t have your phone number,” he said lightly.

  That was true, but I knitted my brows together, unable to move past that night. “You scared me. You left me, like… ” I looked at him, trying to find answers in his face, but his handsome features were impassive. “Why did you leave?”

  “You wouldn’t understand,” he said impassively. “Anyway, that’s not why I’m here.”

  “Oh?”

  I crossed my arms and leaned back against my seat. If he was here to ask me to go out with him again, I’d say no. No matter how great the sex had been, no matter how amazingly handsome he was, I had my pride. I’d never see him again.

  “I need to tell you something.”

  “Ri-ight.”

  I sat there, expecting him to say something about wanting to be with me, maybe ask me out for dinner or even for my phone number. I expected something normal. Instead, his words threw me off balance.

  His somber eyes gazed into mine and he said, “You’ve got a problem. With Joel.”

  The world seemed to disappear around me, and I felt my heart contracting painfully. The prickling sensation of worry crept its way up my spine. “What’s going on?”

  This is the first part of the Undeniable series, and is continued in Part 2

  About Ashley Simone