Note-Book of Anton Chekhov Read online

  Note-Book of Anton Chekhov

  Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

  NOTE-BOOK OF ANTON CHEKHOV

  Translated by S. S. KOTELIANSKY and LEONARD WOOLF

  1921

  This volume consists of notes, themes, and sketches for works which Anton Chekhov intended to write, and are characteristic of the methods of his artistic production. Among his papers was found a series of sheets in a special cover with the inscription: "Themes, thoughts, notes, and fragments." Madame L.O. Knipper-Chekhov, Chekhov's wife, also possesses his note-book, in which he entered separate themes for his future work, quotations which he liked, etc. If he used any material, he used to strike it out in the note-book. The significance which Chekhov attributed to this material may be judged from the fact that he recopied most of it into a special copy book.

  ANTON CHEKHOV'S NOTE-BOOKS

  (1892-1904)

  Mankind has conceived history as a series of battles; hitherto it has considered fighting as the main thing in life.

  * * * * *

  Solomon made a great mistake when he asked for wisdom.[1]

  [Footnote 1: Among Chekhov's papers the following monologue was found, written in his own hand:

  Solomon (alone): Oh! how dark is life! No night, when I was a child, so terrified me by its darkness as does my invisible existence. Lord, to David my father thou gavest only the gift of harmonizing words and sounds, to sing and praise thee on strings, to lament sweetly, to make people weep or admire beauty; but why hast thou given me a meditative, sleepless, hungry mind? Like an insect born of the dust, I hide in darkness; and in fear and despair, all shaking and shivering, I see and hear in everything an invisible mystery. Why this morning? Why does the sun come out from behind the temple and gild the palm tree? Why this beauty of women? Where does the bird hurry, what is the meaning of its flight, if it and its young and the place to which it hastens will, like myself, turn to dust? It were better I had never been born or were a stone, to which God has given neither eyes nor thoughts. In order to tire out my body by nightfall, all day yesterday, like a mere workman I carried marble to the temple; but now the night has come and I cannot sleep … I'll go and lie down. Phorses told me that if one imagines a flock of sheep running and fixes one's attention upon it, the mind gets confused and one falls asleep, I'll do it …(exit).]

  * * * * *

  Ordinary hypocrites pretend to be doves; political and literary hypocrites pretend to be eagles. But don't be disconcerted by their aquiline appearance. They are not eagles, but rats or dogs.

  * * * * *

  Those who are more stupid and more dirty than we are called the people. The administration classifies the population into taxpayers and non-taxpayers. But neither classification will do; we are all the people and all the best we are doing is the people's work.

  * * * * *

  If the Prince of Monaco has a roulette table, surely convicts may play at cards.

  * * * * *

  Iv. (Chekhov's brother Ivan) could philosophize about love, but he could not love.

  * * * * *

  Aliosha: "My mind, mother, is weakened by illness and I am now like a child: now I pray to God, now I cry, now I am happy."

  * * * * *

  Why did Hamlet trouble about ghosts after death, when life itself is haunted by ghosts so much more terrible?

  * * * * *

  Daughter: "Felt boots are not the correct thing."

  Father: "Yes they are clumsy, I'll have to get leather ones." The father fell ill and his deportation to Siberia was postponed.

  Daughter: "You are not at all ill, father. Look, you have your coat and boots on…."

  Father: "I long to be exiled to Siberia. One could sit somewhere by the Yenissey or Obi river and fish, and on the ferry there would be nice little convicts, emigrants…. Here I hate everything: this lilac tree in front of the window, these gravel paths…."

  * * * * *

  A bedroom. The light of the moon shines so brightly through the window that even the buttons on his night shirt are visible.

  * * * * *

  A nice man would feel ashamed even before a dog….

  * * * * *

  A certain Councillor of State, looking at a beautiful landscape, said:

  "What a marvelous function of nature!" From the note-book of an old

  dog: "People don't eat slops and bones which the cooks throw away.

  Fools!"

  * * * * *

  He had nothing in his soul except recollections of his schooldays.

  * * * * *

  The French say: "Laid comme un chenille"—as ugly as a caterpillar.

  * * * * *

  People are bachelors or old maids because they rouse no interest, not even a physical one.

  * * * * *

  The children growing up talked at meals about religion and laughed at fasts, monks, etc. The old mother at first lost her temper, then, evidently getting used to it, only smiled, but at last she told the children that they had convinced her, that she is now of their opinion. The children felt awkward and could not imagine what their old mother would do without her religion.

  * * * * *

  There is no national science, just as there is no national multiplication table; what is national is no longer science.

  * * * * *

  The dog walked in the street and was ashamed of its crooked legs.

  * * * * *

  The difference between man and woman: a woman, as she grows old gives herself up more and more to female affairs; a man, as he grows old, withdraws himself more and more from female affairs.

  * * * * *

  That sudden and ill-timed love-affair may be compared to this: you take boys somewhere for a walk; the walk is jolly and interesting—and suddenly one of them gorges himself with oil paint.

  * * * * *

  The character in the play says to every one: "You've got worms." He cures his daughter of the worms, and she turns yellow.

  * * * * *

  A scholar, without talent, a blockhead, worked for twenty-four years and produced nothing good, gave the world only scholars as untalented and as narrow-minded as himself. At night he secretly bound books—that was his true vocation: in that he was an artist and felt the joy of it. There came to him a bookbinder, who loved learning and studied secretly at night.

  * * * * *

  But perhaps the universe is suspended on the tooth of some monster.

  * * * * *

  Keep to the right, you of the yellow eye!

  * * * * *

  Do you want to eat? No, on the contrary.

  * * * * *

  A pregnant woman with short arms and a long neck, like a kangaroo.

  * * * * *

  How pleasant it is to respect people! When I see books, I am not concerned with how the authors loved or played cards; I see only their marvelous works.

  * * * * *

  To demand that the woman one loves should be pure is egotistical: to look for that in a woman which I have not got myself is not love, but worship, since one ought to love one's equals.

  * * * * *

  The so-called pure childlike joy of life is animal joy.

  * * * * *

  I cannot bear the crying of children, but when my child cries, I don't hear.

  * * * * *

  A schoolboy treats a lady to dinner in a restaurant. He has only one rouble, twenty kopecks. The bill comes to four roubles thirty kopecks. He has no money and begins to cry. The proprietor boxes his ears. He was talking to the lady about Abyssinia.

  * * * * *

  A man, who, to judge from his appearance, loves nothing but sausages and sauerkraut.

  * * * * *

&nb
sp; We judge human activities by their goal; that activity is great of which the goal is great.

  * * * * *

  You drive on the Nevski, you look to the left on the Haymarket; the clouds are the color of smoke, the ball of the setting sun purple—Dante's hell!

  * * * * *

  His income is twenty-five to fifty thousand, and yet out of poverty he shoots himself.

  * * * * *

  Terrible poverty, desperate situation. The mother a widow, her daughter a very ugly girl. At last the mother takes courage and advises the daughter to go on the streets. She herself when young went on the streets without her husband's knowledge in order to get money for her dresses; she has some experience. She instructs her daughter. The latter goes out, walks all night; not a single man takes her; she is ugly. A couple of days later, three young rascals on the boulevard take her. She brought home a note which turned out to be a lottery ticket no longer valid.

  * * * * *

  Two wives: one in Petersburg, the other in Kertch. Constant rows, threats, telegrams. They nearly reduce him to suicide. At last he finds a way: he settles them both in the same house. They are perplexed, petrified; they grow silent and quiet down.

  * * * * *

  His character is so undeveloped that one can hardly believe that he has been to the University.

  * * * * *

  And I dreamt that, as it were, what I considered reality was a dream, and the dream was reality.

  * * * * *

  I observed that after marriage people cease to be curious.

  * * * * *

  It usually takes as much time to feel happy as to wind up one's watch.

  * * * * *

  A dirty tavern near the station. And in every tavern like that you will find salted white sturgeon with horse radish. What a lot of sturgeon must be salted in Russia!

  * * * * *

  Z. goes on Sundays to the Sukharevka (a market-place in Moscow) to look for books; he finds a book, written by his father, with the inscription: "To darling Nadya from the author."

  * * * * *

  A Government official wears on his chest the portrait of the Governor's wife; he feeds a turkey on nuts and makes her a present of it.

  * * * * *

  One should be mentally clear, morally pure, and physically tidy.

  * * * * *

  It was said of a certain lady that she had a cat's factory; her lover tortured the cats by treading on their tails.

  * * * * *

  An officer and his wife went to the baths together, and both were bathed by the orderly, whom they evidently did not consider a man.

  * * * * *

  "And now he appeared with all his decorations."

  "And what decorations has he got?"

  "He has a bronze medal for the census of 1897."

  * * * * *

  A government clerk gave his son a thrashing because he had only obtained five marks in all his subjects at school. It seemed to him not good enough. When he was told that he was in the wrong, that five is the highest mark obtainable, he thrashed his son again—out of vexation with himself.

  * * * * *

  A very good man has such a face that people take him for a detective; he is suspected of having stolen shirt-studs.

  * * * * *

  A serious phlegmatic doctor fell in love with a girl who danced very well, and, to please her, he started to learn a mazurka.

  * * * * *

  The hen sparrow believes that her cock sparrow is not chirping but singing beautifully.

  * * * * *

  When one is peacefully at home, life seems ordinary, but as soon as one walks into the street and begins to observe, to question women, for instance, then life becomes terrible. The neighborhood of Patriarshi Prudy (a park and street in Moscow) looks quiet and peaceful, but in reality life there is hell.

  * * * * *

  These red-faced young and old women are so healthy that steam seems to exhale from them.

  * * * * *

  The estate will soon be brought under the hammer; there is poverty all round; and the footmen are still dressed like jesters.

  * * * * *

  There has been an increase not in the number of nervous diseases and nervous patients, but in the number of doctors able to study those diseases.

  * * * * *

  The more refined the more unhappy.

  * * * * *

  Life does not agree with philosophy: there is no happiness which is not idleness and only the useless is pleasurable.

  * * * * *

  The grandfather is given fish to eat, and if it does not poison him and he remains alive, then all the family eat it.

  * * * * *

  A correspondence. A young man dreams of devoting himself to literature and constantly writes to his father about it; at last he gives up the civil service, goes to Petersburg, and devotes himself to literature—he becomes a censor.

  * * * * *

  First class sleeping car. Passengers numbers 6, 7, 8 and 9. They discuss daughters-in-law. Simple people suffer from mothers-in-law, intellectuals from daughters-in-law.

  "My elder son's wife is educated, arranges Sunday schools and libraries, but she is tactless, cruel, capricious, and physically revolting. At dinner she will suddenly go off into sham hysterics because of some article in the newspaper. An affected thing." Another daughter-in-law: "In society she behaves passably, but at home she is a dolt, smokes, is miserly, and when she drinks tea, she keeps the sugar between her lips and teeth and speaks at the same time."

  * * * * *

  Miss Mieschankina.

  * * * * *

  In the servants' quarters Roman, a more or less dissolute peasant, thinks it his duty to look after the morals of the women servants.

  * * * * *

  A large fat barmaid—a cross between a pig and white sturgeon.

  * * * * *

  At Malo-Bronnaya (a street in Moscow). A little girl who has never been in the country feels it and raves about it, speaks about jackdaws, crows and colts, imagining parks and birds on trees.

  * * * * *

  Two young officers in stays.

  * * * * *

  A certain captain taught his daughter the art of fortification.

  * * * * *

  New literary forms always produce new forms of life and that is why they are so revolting to the conservative human mind.

  * * * * *

  A neurasthenic undergraduate comes home to a lonely country-house, reads French monologues, and finds them stupid.

  * * * * *

  People love talking of their diseases, although they are the most uninteresting things in their lives.

  * * * * *

  An official, who wore the portrait of the Governor's wife, lent money on interest; he secretly becomes rich. The late Governor's wife, whose portrait he has worn for fourteen years, now lives in a suburb, a poor widow; her son gets into trouble and she needs 4,000 roubles. She goes to the official, and he listens to her with a bored look and says: "I can't do anything for you, my lady."

  * * * * *

  Women deprived of the company of men pine, men deprived of the company of women become stupid.

  * * * * *

  A sick innkeeper said to the doctor: "If I get ill, then for the love of God come without waiting for a summons. My sister will never call you in, whatever happens; she is a miser, and your fee is three roubles a visit." A month or two later the doctor heard that the innkeeper was seriously ill, and while he was making his preparations to go and see him, he received a letter from the sister saying: "My brother is dead." Five days later the doctor happened to go to the village and was told there that the innkeeper had died that morning. Disgusted he went to the inn. The sister dressed in black stood in the corner reading a psalm book. The doctor began to upbraid her for her stinginess and cruelty. The sister went on reading the psalms, but between every two sentences she stopped to quarrel with him—"Lots of your like running about here…. The devils brou
ght you here." She belongs to the old faith, hates passionately and swears desperately.

  * * * * *

  The new governor made a speech to his clerks. He called the merchants together—another speech. At the annual prize-giving of the secondary school for girls—a speech on true enlightenment. To the representatives of the press a speech. He called the Jews together: "Jews, I have summoned you." … A month or two passes—he does nothing. Again he calls the merchants together—a speech. Again the Jews: "Jews, I have summoned you."… He has wearied them all. At last he says to his Chancellor: "No, the work is too much for me, I shall have to resign."

  * * * * *

  A student at a village theological school was learning Latin by heart. Every half-hour he runs down to the maids' room and, closing his eyes, feels and pinches them; they scream and giggle; he returns to his book again. He calls it "refreshing oneself."

  * * * * *

  The Governor's wife invited an official, who had a thin voice and was her adorer, to have a cup of chocolate with her, and for a week afterwards he was in bliss. He had saved money and lent it but not on interest. "I can't lend you any, your son-in-law would gamble it away. No, I can't." The son-in-law is the husband of the daughter who once sat in a box in a boa; he lost at cards and embezzled Government money. The official, who was accustomed to herring and vodka, and who had never before drunk chocolate, felt sick after the chocolate. The expression on the lady's face: "Aren't I a darling?"; she spent any amount of money on dresses and looked forward to making a display of them—so she gave parties.

  * * * * *

  Going to Paris with one's wife is like going to Tula[1] with one's samovar.

  [Footnote 1: Tula is a Russian city where samovars are manufactured.]

  * * * * *

  The young do not go in for literature, because the best of them work on steam engines, in factories, in industrial undertakings. All of them have now gone into industry, and industry is making enormous progress.

  * * * * *

  Families where the woman is bourgeoise easily breed adventurers, swindlers, and brutes without ideals.

  * * * * *

  A professor's opinion: not Shakespeare, but the commentaries on him are the thing.

  * * * * *