The Compleat Boucher Read online

  Copyright 1998, 2012 by the Estate of Theodore White

  Introduction

  Copyright 1998 by James A. Mann

  Dust Jacket Illustration

  Bob Eggleton

  Copyright 2012 Bob Eggleton

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVERD. NO PART OF THIS BOOK MAY BE REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM OR BY ANY ELECTRONIC, MAGICAL, OR MECHANICAL MEANS INCLUDING INFORMATION STORAGE AND RETRIEVAL WITHOUT PERMISSION IN WRITING FROM THE PUBLISHER, EXCEPT BY A REVIEWER WHO MAY QUOTE BRIEF PASSAGES IN A REVIEW

  SECOND EDITION

  First Printing

  Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 98-68084

  ISBN-13: 978-1-60373-03-6

  ISBN-10: 1-886778-02-7

  Copyright Acknowledgements

  “The Ambassadors” first appeared in Startling Stories, June 1952

  “The Anomoly of the Empty Man” first appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, April 1952

  “Balaam” first appeared in 9 Tales of Space and Time, edited by Raymond J. Healy, 1954

  “Barrier” first appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, September 1942

  “The Chronokinesis of Jonathan Hull” first appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, June 1946

  “The Compleat Werewolf” first appeared in Unknown Worlds, April 1942

  “Conquest” first appeared in Star Science Fiction 2, edited by Frederik Pohl

  “Elsewhen” first appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, January 1943

  “Expedition” first appeared in Thrilling Wonder Stories, August 1943

  “The First” first appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, October 1952

  “Gandolphus” first appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, December 1956

  “The Ghost of Me” first appeared in Unknown Worlds, June 1942

  “The Greatest Tertian” first appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, June 1942

  “Khartoum” first appeared in Stefantasy, August 1955. First professional publication in Strange Bedfellows, edited by William F. Nolan

  “A Kind of Madness” first appeared in Ellery Queens Mystery Magazine, August 1972

  “Man’s Reach” first appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, November 1972

  “Mary Celestial” first appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, May 1955

  “The Model of a Science Fiction Editor” first appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, July 1953

  “Mr. Lupescu” first appeared in Weird Tales, September 1945

  “Nellthu” first appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, August 1955

  “Nine-Finger Jack” first appeared in Esquire, May 1951

  “One-Way Trip” first appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, August 1943

  “The Other Inauguration” first appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, March 1953

  “Pelagic Spark” first appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, June 1943

  “The Pink Caterpillar” first appeared in Adventure Magazine, 1945

  “The Public Eye” first appeared in Thrilling Wonder Stories, April 1952

  “The Quest for Saint Aquin” first appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, January 1959

  “Q.U.R.” first appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, March 1943

  “Rappaccini’s Other Daughter” appears here for the first time.

  “Review Copy” first appered in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Fall 1949

  “Robinc” first appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, September 1943

  “Sanctuary” first appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, June 1943

  “The Scrawny One” first appeared in Weird Tales, May 1949

  “Secret of the House” first appeared in Galaxy, March 1953

  “A Shape in Time” first appeared in The Future Is Now, edited by William F. Nolan, 1970

  “Snulbug” first appeared in Unknown Worlds, December 1941

  “Sriberdegibit: first appeared in Unknown Worlds, June 1943

  “Star Bride” first appeared in Thrilling Wonder Stories, December 1951

  “The Star Dummy” first appeared in Fantastic, Fall 1952

  “A Summers Cloud” first appeared in Twilight Zone, June 1981

  “The Tenderizers” first appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, January 1942

  “They Bite” first appeared in Unknown Worlds, August 1943

  “Transfer Point” first appeared in Galaxy, December 1950

  “The Way I Heard It” first appeared in Twilight Zone, June 1981

  “We Print the Truth” first appeared in Astounding Science Fiction, December 1943

  Acknowledgements

  This book was produced with the help of a number of people. George Flynn once again reviewed every story and meticulously compared what we had on hand with previously published versions. Mary Tabasko also provided extensive proofing help and advice on design, and Scot Taylor lent a hand in the proofing. Kevin Riley helped design the dust jacket, using the art provided by Jane Dennis. Mark Olson and Tony Lewis provided advice and support throughout. Teresa Nielsen Hayden provided advice on a couple of editorial points. Charles N. Brown helped us track down the agent of the estate. Laurie Mann helped scan a number of the stories and in general provided support throughout this effort. And Leslie Mann provided some clerical help. Thanks to you all.

  James A. Mann

  Editor

  Pittsburgh, PA

  September 1998

  Acknowledgements to the Second Edition

  Thanks to Bob Eggleton for the new dust jacket artwork. Thanks to Lisa Hertel for collating corrections from the initial edition, to Sharon Sbarsky and Rick Katze for their assistance. Special thanks to my wife, Ann A. Broomhead for fully proofing the entire revised text.

  Tim Szczesuil

  Littleton, MA

  October 2012

  Contents

  Editor’s Introduction

  The Quest for Saint Aquin

  The Compleat Werewolf

  Elsewhen

  The Pink Caterpillar

  The Chronokeisis of Jonathan Hull

  Gandolphus

  Sriberdegibit

  The Ambassadors

  Q.U.R.

  Robinc

  Nine-Finger Jack

  Barrier

  Pelagic Spark

  The Other Inauguration

  One-Way Trip

  Man’s Reach

  Mr. Lupescu

  Balaam

  The Anomaly of the Empty Man

  The Ghost of Me

  Snulbug

  Sanctuary

  Transfer Point

  Conquest

  The First

  The Greatest Tertian

  Expedition

  The Public Eye

  The Secret of the House

  The Scrawny One

  Star Bride

  The Way I Heard It

  The Star Dummy

  Review Copy

  A Kind of Madness

  Nellthu

  Rappaccini’s Other Daughter

  Khartoum

  A Shape in Time

  A Summer’s Cloud

  The Tenderizers

  They Bite

  The Model of a Science Fiction Editor

  We Print the Truth

  Mary Celestial

  Recipe for Curry De Luxe

  The Very Model of a Science Fiction Editor . . . and Writer . . . and Critic . . . And. . .

  James A. Mann

  Anthony Boucher (William Anthony Parker White) is perhaps best known as one of the great editors of science fiction.
He and J. Francis McComas started The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction in 1949. F&SF, along with Horace Gold’s Galaxy, wrested the unchallenged leadership of the science fiction field away from John W. Campbell’s Astounding, which, since 1939, had been the leader of the field. After 1950, there were three great magazines in the field, not just one. F&SF helped move science fiction fantasy into new directions under Boucher’s leadership. He also edited several anthologies, the most notable of which, the two-volume A Treasury of Great Science Fiction, was a selection of just about everybody who joined the Science Fiction Book Club for decades.

  But Boucher was more than a science fiction editor. He was a critic, whose book reviews appeared in such prestigious places as The New York Times. He was a mystery writer. The big annual mystery convention, Bouchercon, is named after him. He also produced a weekly radio special on opera, wrote opera reviews, helped found the Mystery Writers of America, founded the West Coast branch of the Baker Street Irregulars, and was active in politics (and served on the California Democratic Central Committee) and the Catholic Church. He became a gourmet chef (and this book ends with one of his recipes), was a great poker player, and was a devoted husband and father.

  And of course, he was a writer of a number of science fiction and fantasy stories. He was a major writer for Campbell’s Unknown Worlds and Astounding in the 1940s, with stories and poems appearing under the names Anthony Boucher, H. H. Holmes, and Herman W. Mudgett. Sometimes, a single issue of a magazine would feature both a Boucher story and a Holmes story. Many of his early stories, such as “Snulbug” and “The Compleat Werewolf”, were humorous, though with a distinctly humanist touch, often reminiscent of Frank Capra with an occasional touch of screwball comedy. But he also investigated more serious topics. “The Quest for Saint Aquin,” perhaps his best story, is a probing examination of religious faith. “Balaam” examines religion from another angle and looks at the ultimate sacrifice. Other stories, written ciuring World War II or soon after, examine fascist or statist societies. “One-Way Trip” and “Barrier” both look at, though from very different angles, fascism, stagnant societies, and the need for individuality.

  The stories are diverse. There are wry little horror stories like “Mr. Lupescu.” There are even grimmer horror stories like “They Bite” or “The Pink Caterpillar.” There are robot stories like “Q.U.R.” and “Robinc” and cautionary tales like “We Print the Truth.” There are recursive stories (stories about science fiction)—“Pelagic Spark” and “Transfer Point.” We have a Sherlock Holmes story of sorts: “The Greatest Tertian.’’There is even the sequel to a Nathaniel Hawthorne story, the previously unpublished “Rappaccini’s Other Daughter.”

  Many of the stories included here have never before been included in a Boucher collection. Some have not appeared since their original appearance in the magazines. It’s a pleasure to bring them back into print.

  So, read, and enjoy. And then go out and look for some of Boucher’s mysteries. Several of them, including Rocket to the Morgue, are still in print and available in some of the better bookstores.

  A note on the order of the stories: Many readers are curious about the order of the stories in a collection: Why did the editor choose that order? This book leads of with “The Quest for Saint Aquin,” which is not only Boucher’s best but which was not included in either of the two previous Boucher collections (though the Science Fiction Writers of America chose it to appear in The Science Fiction Hall of Fame). It’s followed by another Boucher great, “The Compleat Werewolf.” That story introduced the character of Fergus O’Breen, who appears in the four stories that follow. The two stories after that (“Sribidigibit” and “The Ambassadors”) make passing reference to “The Compleat Werewolf.” The two robot stories follow, then “Nine-Finger Jack,” which Boucher considered one of his best. From there till near the end the order is somewhat arbitrary, based on what I though would be a good order. The book ends with “We Print the Truth,” a long, impressive story, and “Mary Celestial,” the only story in the book Boucher didn’t write alone—he coauthored it with Miriam Allen DeFord.

  The Compleat

  Boucher

  Special Note

  Despite several attempts, we were unable to track down the agent for the estate of Miriam Allen deFord. If the agent for the state reads this, please contact us. We will be glad to pay standard royalties for the story co-authored by her.

  The Quest for Saint Aquin

  The Bishop of Rome, the head of the Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, the Vicar of Christ on Earth—in short, the Pope—brushed a cockroach from the filthencrusted wooden table, took another sip of the raw red wine, and resumed his discourse.

  “In some respects, Thomas,” he smiled, “we are stronger now than when we flourished in the liberty and exaltation for which we still pray after Mass. We know, as they knew in the catacombs, that those who are of our flock are indeed truly of it; that they belong to Holy Mother the Church because they believe in the brotherhood of man under the fatherhood of God—not because they can further their political aspirations, their social ambitions, their business contacts.”

  “‘Not of the will of flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God . . .’” Thomas quoted softly from St. John.

  The Pope nodded. “We are, in a way, born again in Christ; but there are still too few of us—too few even if we include those other handfuls who are not of our faith, but still acknowledge God through the teachings of Luther or Lao-tse, Gautama Buddha or Joseph Smith. Too many men still go to their deaths hearing no gospel preached to them but the cynical self-worship of the Technarchy. And that is why, Thomas, you must go forth on your quest.”

  “But, Your Holiness,” Thomas protested, “if God’s word and God’s love will not convert them, what can saints and miracles do?”

  “I seem to recall,” murmured the Pope, “that God’s own Son once made a similar protest. But human nature, however illogical it may seem, is part of His design, and we must cater to it. If signs and wonders can lead souls to God, then by all means let us find the signs and wonders. And what can be better for the purpose than this legendary Aquin? Come now, Thomas; be not too scrupulously exact in copying the doubts of your namesake, but prepare for your journey.”

  The Pope lifted the skin that covered the doorway and passed into the next room, with

  Thomas frowning at his heels. It was past legal hours and the main room of the tavern was empty. The swarthy innkeeper roused from his doze to drop to his knees and kiss the ring on the hand which the Pope extended to him. He rose crossing himself and at the same time glancing furtively about as though a Loyalty Checker might have seen him. Silently he indicated another door in the back, and the two priests passed through.

  Toward the west the surf purred in an oddly gentle way at the edges of the fishing village. Toward the south the stars were sharp and bright; toward the north they dimmed a little in the persistent radiation of what had once been San Francisco.

  “Your steed is here,” the Pope said, with something like laughter in his voice.

  “Steed?”

  “We may be as poor and as persecuted as the primitive church, but we can occasionally gain greater advantages from our tyrants. I have secured for you a robass—gift of a leading Technarch who, like Nicodemus, does good by stealth—a secret convert, and converted, indeed, by that very Aquin whom you seek.”

  It looked harmlessly like a woodpile sheltered against possible rain. Thomas pulled off the skins and contemplated the sleek functional lines of the robass. Smiling, he stowed his minimal gear into its panniers and climbed into the foam saddle. The starlight was bright enough so that he could check the necessary coordinates on his map and feed the data into the electronic controls.

  Meanwhile there was a murmur of Latin in the still night air, and the Pope’s hand moved over Thomas in the immemorial symbol. Then he extended that hand, first for the kiss on the ring, and then again for the handclasp of a man to a friend he
may never see again.

  Thomas looked back once more as the robass moved off. The Pope was wisely removing his ring and slipping it into the hollow heel of his shoe.

  Thomas looked hastily up at the sky. On that altar at least the candles still burnt openly to the glory of God.

  Thomas had never ridden a robass before, but he was inclined, within their patent limitations, to trust the works of the Technarchy. After several miles had proved that the coordinates were duly registered, he put up the foam backrest, said his evening office (from memory; the possession of a breviary meant the death sentence), and went to sleep.

  They were skirting the devastated area to the east of the Bay when he awoke. The foam seat and back had given him his best sleep in years; and it was with difficulty that he smothered an envy of the Technarchs and their creature comforts.

  He said his morning office, breakfasted lightly, and took his first opportunity to inspect the robass in full light. He admired the fast-plodding, articulated legs, so necessary since roads had degenerated to, at best, trails in all save metropolitan areas; the side wheels that could be lowered into action if surface conditions permitted; and above all the smooth black mound that housed the electronic brain—the brain that stored commands and data concerning ultimate objectives and made its own decisions on how to fulfill those commands in view of those data; the brain that made this thing neither a beast, like the ass his Saviour had ridden, nor a machine, like the jeep of his many-times-great-grandfather, but a robot . . . a robass.

  “Well,” said a voice, “what do you think of the ride.”

  Thomas looked about him. The area of this fringe of desolation was as devoid of people as it was of vegetation.

  “Well,” the voice repeated unemotionally. “Are not priests taught to answer when spoken to politely.”